


Save me

by Raven15



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec has a secret, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF Magnus Bane, Bad Boy Magnus Bane, Bad Siblings Jace and Isabelle, Brooklyn High, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, High Bad Boy of Brooklyn High Magnus Bane, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Intimidating Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Murder Mystery, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Possessive Raphael Santiago, Slightly depressed Alec Lightwood, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 05:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 110,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10690914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven15/pseuds/Raven15
Summary: “Alec help me!”“He can’t help you”“NO I won’t let go!” I scream with determination.“Oh darling it’s not a matter of whether or not you want to. You simply can’t sweetheart”--------Something happened that Alec can't tell anyone about. Not even his siblings and that doesn't make his relationship with his family any easier. They all blame him. Alec blames himself but it wasn't entirely his fault but no one knows that. No one can know that.





	1. First day

**Author's Note:**

> So..really nervous about posting this and I hope you guys like it. Also, I decided to try making Alec the little brother for once but if it's too disturbing just tell me:)

                                                                                                                  

* * *

 

_“Alec help me!”_

_“He can’t help you”_

_“NO I won’t let go!” I scream with determination._

_“Oh darling it’s not a matter of whether or not you want to. You simply can’t sweetheart”_

_“Alec please please please don’t .Stay with me. Look at me” His sobs audible as he begs me to help him._

_Then the screams came..._

 

 

 

*Beep Beep Beep Beep*

"Alec turn that damn thing off!"

I roll my eyes as I slowly turn off the alarm clock while closing my eyes once again. I swear to god Isabelle's voice woke me up more than the alarm clock but at the same time I’m grateful. I turn around intending to flip over on my stomach which apparently was a grave mistake because the next thing I know I hear my bedroom door open at the same time as I fall off the bed.

"Does my perfect face baffle you so much? Seriously Alec I thought you've gotten over that already but well...I can't really blame you"

I sit up with a flushed face and just stare at Jace.

"I wasn't baffled I was just trying to flip over at the same time as you...nevermind what are you doing here?" Because Jace never visits my room. Not him. Not my sister. Not anymore at least. They used to. We used to always sit on my bed watching Netflix and eat popcorn. The keywords in that sentence is “used to”. Past tense. Because after the incident that happened a few months back everything changed. They changed. I’ve tried multiple times to tell them the truth about what really happened that night at Raj’s party but I couldn’t. I wanted to but I couldn’t. I want to but I can’t for the sake of my family. The family that started looking at me like a freak and like I don’t fit in.

In this family adopted Jace is the oldest (my parents didn’t think they would be able to have kids so they adopted Jace) and then there is Isabelle and then Max that died before I was even born. He died when he was one month old in a car crash that everyone survived but him. Then there is me. Fourth in the family. But am I really? It feels like I’m the oldest when Jace and Izzy always get drunk and I always have to look after them (not that they’re thankful nowadays) or when I always wake them up to school (except for today) and prepare their things and make sure they actually go to school. They used to look at me with gratitude but not anymore. Not after _that._

“Mom told me to get you because apparently we start earlier at this school.”

 

 

 

Oh yeah.. new school. They previously went to Idris High but they moved during the summer break and recently enrolled in Brooklyn High. In IDH (Idris High) they started 8.20.

“When do we start” I ask tiredly.

 

 

 

“7.30. Seven. Fucking. Thirty. Can you believe it?”

 

 

 

“7.30...SEVEN THIRTY?? Jace it’s 7.00 we’ll never make it! It takes fifteen minutes to get to school and I have to get dressed a-an-and..!” I keep on blabbering, clearly stressed out. This was their FIRST day and they are going to be late! Way to go Alec. First impression=ruined.

 

I’m a straight A student and I have to impress my teachers but first I have to take a shower because I barely got any sleep today thanks to the nightmares and I’m all sweaty. I never had nightmares up until that day a few months back. Now I hear the screams in every single dream like it just happened and I try not to think about it when I already live through it every single haunting night.

 

I jump inside the shower and finish within ten minutes and when I come back inside my room Jace is already gone. I grab a normal black sweater that covers my arms and put it on me with black jeans and black boots while I with great stress try to multitask and brush my hair at the same time. The result is not that..satisfying with my hair standing up almost spiky from the shower but it’ll have to do.

 

We arrive ten minutes late with a scolding look from the receptionist but she says she would go easy on us because it’s our first day. I think her name was Aline? She each hands us our schedule and we go our separate ways. Jace is a senior, Izzy starts the second year and I start the first year of high school.

 

I knock on my classroom door nervously. Great, now I have to excuse myself for coming late to the teacher and on top of that I also have to introduce myself. I never come late and I’m every definition of awkward. Socially and in general. I have no idea what to say and just end up stammering and eventually say something that shouldn’t have been said. I usually prefer to just plug in my earphones and shut out the world.

 

I wonder how Jace and Izzy are handling this. They’re probably not having as much trouble as me. They can literally walk into a room and win over everyone’s heart like they’re some sort of Cupid in teenage form. Well I’m the opposite. I’m like a demon in teenage form: you avoid them and you’re good. Okay, not a demon..maybe a zombie. When I do think about it that’s kind of how my previous classmates looked at me. They looked at me like I’m about to start a zombie apocalypse and infect everybody with my “obvious” nerdiness. Like seriously guys? Just because I’m quiet and distant and have straight A:s doesn’t mean I’m a nerd.. it just means I care about my flipping future and that I’m socially awkward. I actually do have pretty interesting hobbies.

 

Okay I have stop myself from thinking because apparently the teacher didn’t hear me because I’ve been standing here for the past ten minutes. I knock again and this time a large muscular blonde man opens the door while slowly raising one of his eyebrows and stares down at me. Literally. Stares DOWN at me because hell, this man is hugeeee. Is this dude the fucking teacher?

 

“M-my name is Alec Lightwood..I-I’m new” I mumble fiddling with my earbuds.

 

 

 

“Kid, I seriously can’t hear a thing you’re saying, if you’re even talking at all”

 

 

 

I start blushing. This man’s voice is seriously scary and then all of a sudden he gestures me to come into the classroom and I turn to see what in my eyes looks like one hundred eyeballs staring straight at me and my blush deepens.


	2. First Day Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new friendship is being born!

The man continues sarcastically:

“Could anyone here hear what he just said?”

Some guy from the front row raises his hand and I’m relieved that someone decides to save my soul. That is until the guy actually opens his stupid looking mouth and answers:

“Something with…” he says and imitates my incomprehensible mumble and people start laughing. I wish he never opened his goddamn mouth.

“Shut up Aldertree!”

What the hell? This teacher is something else. Then he turns to me

”And you. Mind telling me who you are because I have never seen you before?” Then he eyes me from top to toe.”Are you someone’s little brother?” A lot of people tried to stop themselves from laughing again .

It’s not that I’m super short I’m actually average in height but the thing is I’m really skinny because I stopped eating as much as I used to after the thing that happened a few months back. It’s not that I’m starving myself it’s just that I have no appetite because all I can see is..blood. Also, the family table is not that welcoming anymore. My mother never looks at me and my siblings sneak glances at me all the time. I always end up eating a little and then excuse myself and bury myself in my room.

So, I’m in general tiny and I have what my sister calls a baby face plus I’m fifteen. But really..thanks a lot teacher. I mean is he really a teacher or a substitute?

I didn’t realise that I’ve been silent for a long time until the “teacher?” clicks his fingers in front of my face and snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Are you present?” he says and earns snorts from the entire class.

I swallow and answer more clearly than the last time.

”My name is Alec Lightwood”

I can’t bring myself to say more without running out of there like ten hellhounds is chasing me but thankfully I didn’t have to.

“Ah you’re the newbie. I was told you were suppose to come Wednesday?”

Thankfully, again, I didn’t have to open my mouth.

“It is Wednesday...” I seriously want to thank the girl who said that because I don’t want to answer and maybe make the teacher I’ve only now met to look stupid. I’ve already ruined my first impression and I seriously don’t want to dig an even deeper hole and fall in it myself.

“Right.. I always mix Wednesdays and Tuesdays. Well my name is Hodge so only refer to me as Hodge and don’t you dare pull that “Sir” bullshit on me. Now moving on why the hell are you twenty minutes late on your first day?” He talks seriously fasts. _I was actually only ten minutes late but you didn’t hear me knock._ Of course I won’t say that and decide to tell the truth:

“W-well I-I didn’t know we start 7.30”

He looks at me like my hair has gone pink and I start blushing even more.

“So..you don’t have a puncture?” I shake my head. “And you didn’t forget some keys at home?” I shake my head again. “And your alarm clock rang? And your dog didn’t die right before you were about to go to school? And you didn’t twist your ankle?” I nod on the first question and then keep on shaking my head.

“Kid...you seriously need to work on your excuses. I have an entire list on my desk of the top ten excuses that I’ve ever heard. If you want you can take a look because you seriously need it when it comes to the other teachers. Except for me I always know, but honestly: ``I didn’t know we started 7.30´´ is just lame. I think the number one excuse I have is ``well..3 days ago I was with my obsessed dad in a casino and I played out all of my money so I couldn’t afford taking the bus yesterday..or the day before that and I probably won’t tomorrow´´ and that came from a senior of mine”.

Wait so this so-called teacher wants me to lie so he can write it down on a stupid list for future students? Um..not doing that. In normal situations this kind of humiliation would have made my face glow like a christmas tree but I’m too busy staring dumbstruck at the teacher. Hodge opens his mouth again:

“Well we shouldn’t let you stand there like a statue for long we have to get you a seat. When are you born?

I just keep staring at him like an idiot because what use will that information do?

Noticing my expression he starts explaining:

“Here in Brooklyn High our seating order is arranged depending on when you were born. January is in the back and December in the front. Why? Because people born in January are older, have grown more and are therefore longer so they would just block people from seeing if they sit in front of someone. Those who are born in december are the opposite because they are younger and therefore shorter than everyone which means they have to sit in the front to be able to see.  Those who are born during the other months sit in the middle. So, when is your birthday?”

What. The. Hell. Kind of logic. Is this…? I’m serious this blondie is nuts. Great. January in the back right?

“December 31th” I answer nervously. I always sit in the back and sometimes in the middle but never in the front row.

“Oh New Years Eve? Wow then you’re sitting in the front row. Move over Lydia!” So that’s the girl that saved me before. Lydia.

I’ve been too focused on Hodge idiocy to be able to take in the fact that everybody has been staring at me while silently laughing. So with a flushed face I sit down on my new place with everyone’s eyes still on me and plug in one of my earbuds. What a horrible day.

“Hi there” I look to my right and find the Lydia girl staring at me so I take off the earbud. Don’t screw this up Alec.

“Hi” I say and she smiles.

“Did you move here or…?

“Y-yeah I moved here just recently”

“Cool, well welcome to BH _(I guess that stands for Brooklyn High?)_. I’m Lydia Branwall, president for this year.” This year has a what?

“I’m Alec Lightwood” I repeat for the third time and the next question I _have_ to ask because there is always _those people_ in a school that you wanna avoid like the popular kids or the big bully. Basically the social groups. So I blurt out:

“I-Is there s-something I should know about this school? Something important about the people here?”

“Well there is no one in particular...except for Magnus of course but surely you already know about…” Lydia stops herself when she sees my confused look. “ WHAT THE FUCK!?” she practically screams and I look around panicked but thankfully everybody was too focused on their own loud conversations to notice Lydia’s outburst. And Hodge..isn’t even here. Lydia taking my expression into consideration lowers her voice:

“How. Can you. _Breath_ in this school without knowing who Magnus Bane is??? He is the king in this freaking school. Everybody wants to be close to him and everybody wants to date him. Guys and girls. Magnus himself doesn’t even care. He is a freewheeling bisexual who can be with any creature on this earth without a care and he rarely does dates. He picks and tosses. The ultimate bad boy.”

“So he is some kind of High Bad Boy of Brooklyn High?” I say attempting some kind of humor but all I get is a serious stone looking face.

“Actually he is and you’re lucky if you manage to talk to him. I’m serious, the day you get him to speak to you is the day you should buy a lottery ticket. Maybe even two. Or ten.”

She’s funny and I think I’m slowly warming up to her.

“Well, where is His Majesty?”

“Right behind you” And I spin around so fast I start to feel nauseous but I don’t care because the thought of Agnus? Manet? Mangus? having heard their conversation was much worse.

“It’s the guy in the middle”

And thank god because the guy has his head turned in the other direction talking with someone from the row behind him and how the hell didn’t I notice him before?

He basically stands out even from behind and he is sooo tall. He has designer clothes that’s tight in all the right places and I can see that he has styled his hair for what seems like hours and put some..glitter?, on it and it looks so spiky but yet so soft. I can also see that he is seriously muscular. If this is him from behind then what is he like from the front? How couldn’t I have noticed him before? But Lydia is right. Just from his clothes he glows the words _Bad_ and _Boy_.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood stop staring and concentrate on the text I’ve given you!”

Hodge’s voice echoes throughout the classroom and my cheeks turn crimson red as I jump out of my seat and quickly turn to my assignment while the entire class tries to stifle their laughter. And they don’t succeed.

Oh, NOW he is back after being absent almost the entire lesson AND he calls out my name! My FULL name in front of everyone and not only that but also the entire class caught me looking at _someone_ behind me. If..Manet? Mangus?, is as famous as Lydia says he is then everyone knows who I had been _obviously_ staring at.

I look to my left and see that Aldertree guy glaring at me together with another dude sitting beside him. Now I know what writers mean when they write _“If looks can kill I would be so dead by now”_ because they’re looking at me like I’ve just insulted their mother. I start to feel really nervous and I have a bad feeling about this. This is not how I imagined things would go.

All the while Lydia has been silently laughing with an amused expression. What’s even worse is that _Hodge_ is doing the same but is making it more obvious. _Way. More. Obvious_.

**I hate this fucking teacher.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Malec...indirectly:)  
> Omg so happy season 3 of shadowhunters is coming!


	3. The Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes:)

The rest of the lesson is less embarrassing and after I look at my schedule I see that I have Hodge in English, Math and P.E. So I’m going to have this exact class and that exact same teacher in three subjects. Two of them I have three times a week _each_. Fuck. When the lesson ends I quickly get the hell out of there completely not hearing Lydia calling my name because of my loud music.

The day goes smoothly and then it’s lunch. I take one look at the food and I want to throw up. I look around in the cafeteria and notice Izzy and Jace sitting in their own groups clearly having made friends already. There were times where I could have just walked over to one of them and started talking but not anymore.

Flashes of the night from Raj’s party starts to manifest and I could hear the screams and the laughter and....

”ALEC LIGHTWOOD!” I jump and turn around immediately and see Lydia waving her hand while the entire cafeteria is watching. Grateful for snapping me out of those haunting memories but still embarrassed beyond belief I walk over to her. Seriously does the sophomores have a secret competition on “Who can make the new kid’s face reddest?” because it’s freaking working.

Lydia is sitting with a redheaded girl and a glasses boy. Oh no..now I have to socialize. I take off my earbuds and sit down next to Lydia.

“Hi” I mumble.

Thankfully Lydia, always my savior, takes over.

“Guys this is Alec he’s new. Alec this is Simon and Clary.” she introduces and points.

The redheaded girl Clary smiles at me and says:

“Hi Alec, Lydia talked about you. I’m so sorry about what happened with Hodge but..” She didn’t get any further because the glasses boy Simon opens his mouth totally interrupting her.

“I’m not single”

My blood is starting to run cold and my eyes widen because has Simon already figured it out? The secret only my family know about and maybe thought that I was interested in him?

But maybe this school don’t have anything against homosexuals? I mean the most popular guy in the school, (I can’t get his name right), is bisexual and being gay is not that different right? Right? But Clary and Lydia just start laughing. Lydia explains:

“Sorry Alec it’s just that Simon’s boyfriend is really possessive and to avoid trouble Simon lets everyone new know that he is taken. His boyfriend is seriously scary and if he sees Simon talking to someone new especially if it’s a guy..he takes them to a corner to have a little chat”

“Y-you’re gay? I ask Simon.

“Nopp I’m pansexual and my boyfriend’s name is Raphael. He sits at the first table from that door. Third seat to the right” Simon answers and points.

Over there seven people are sitting and eating and..wait a minute isn’t that?..

“Lydia isn’t that the popular guy you told me about in English?” I ask.

“Yes, Raphael is best friends with Mr Popular. Him and two other girls: Catarina and Tessa, and three other boys: Ragnor, Will and Jem. Will and Jem are a couple and we all have our suspicions about Catarina and Ragnor but nothing is confirmed. Tessa is single and Raphael is with Simon” Lydia answers.

Wow a lot of people here aren’t heterosexual. That’s kind of comforting because it wasn’t like that at my old school but maybe here I don’t have to hide who I really am.

Again, The King has his back turned against me so I can’t see his face and I can’t help the next question that comes out of my big mouth.

“Is His Highness single?” Everyone at the table laughs and I blush. If it’s about the question or the nickname I’ll never know. Simon answers while still laughing.

“No the king has no queen and I doubt he will. He has never gone further than the first date then he just tosses and swipes Right to the next person. He rarely even does that. Dates I mean. You really have to be interesting if he goes on one date with you but no more than that. And he’s never had a legitimate girlfriend or boyfriend but that doesn’t stop people from trying”

“Oh..” I answer at the same time as the Group of Seven walk out of the cafeteria with their backs turned towards me.

What a douche.

I hate players more than anything because it’s like they don’t realise what they’re doing when they practically hold someone else's heart in their hands and the next thing they do is break it. The thing about breaking a thing is that it will never be completely repaired. For example If you break a glass and then start glueing all the pieces together you’ll still be able to see cracks everywhere. It can never go back to being a flat smooth surface.

This can’t just only happen with love or crushes but also with other things. I learned that the hard way. My stomach starts to flip and I start to breath faster. I try to calm down and turn to look around in the cafeteria.

Conveniently that’s when I spot her in all her evil glory. Camille Belcourt. I will never be able to forget that face. The face that destroyed everything. She goes _here?!_ Oh yeah she did say she isin't from the area when we were in Idris! Thankfully she hasn’t spotted me and I sneak a glance at Jace who also hasn’t seen her. But then she turns her head and looks straight at me with surprise and then she starts smirking.

I need to get out of here because everything is starting to spin. I quickly plug in my earbuds hoping music will help and then stand up starting to speed out of here.

“Alec are you okay? Where are you going?” I don’t even know who asks that and they probably think I’m a total freak by now but I don’t care because I really need to escape.

I run down the hallway trying to find the school bathroom turning my head left and right. Then when I turn left again I see the Group of Seven and Oh. My. God. What. Is. That?!. And I run into a trashcan.

To keep myself from actually falling _into_ the trashcan, I push with my hands in front of me trying to balance myself but end up falling on the floor.

A lot of people start to laugh and I look up at them. Or more specifically I look up at one guy because how can I not? He is gorgeous. He is mesmerizing. He is basically shining the light of beauty into my blue eyes. Mr Popular has makeup applied to his face but it’s not too much and it’s not too little. It’s fucking perfect. The eyeliner is so flawlessly drawn and his face is just as flawless and his styled black hair matches everything and his skin is goals and…

“Are you okay in there?” A girl next to His majesty asks and I think it’s either Teffa? Tessa? or Carina? Casina?.

My cheeks turn bright red and I quickly stand up facing the Group Seven and then I see Simon’s boyfriend.

“S-Simon’s not single!” I blurt out without thinking heeding Lydia's warning and my blush deepens. The entire group starts to laugh and I want to cry. And yet I don’t because the sound of His Royalness laughing is magic and totally worth the embarrassment. Probably seeing my state they try to stop laughing.

“Yeah I think we know that but that wasn’t my question” The same girl says with a grin.

Oh yeah. But why was she asking if I’m okay?...right I almost fell into a….FUUUCKK!! I ALMOST FELL INTO A TRASHCAN IN FRONT OF THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE UNIVERSE!!!I swear to god this can only happen to meee! Now I really wanna cry but all I can do is just stare at the idiotic trash can gaping. And the group start laughing again at my expression and seriously that goddamn blush on my cheeks never stops shining brighter. And then they start to introduce themselves.

“I’m Catarina.” “ I’m Tessa” The girls introduce themselves happily. Then the grumpy guys are next Raphael being one of them.

“I’m Ragnor.” “ You clearly already know who I am”

“I’m Jem.” “ And I’m Will” These two guys are really enthusiastic. Only Manet left. But the Bad Boy just stands there smirking and oh that smirk can do things. It can make people melt, it can make people bolt for their lives and it can start wars. Tessa answers instead.

“You probably already know this is Magnus” She says and gestures towards him. And _again_ without thinking my stupid not-used-to socializing big fucking mouth opens and blurts out:

“O-oh I thought your name was either Manet or Agnus b-but I was unsure so I-I just referred to you as ``His Majesty´´ so I-I…” Then I finally manage to stop myself from talking because what the actual hell am I saying??!!!

They all stare at me dumbstruck. Even Magnus. And then as if someone pushed a button they all start to laugh uncontrollably.

Jem and Will are on the ground and the girls are leaning against the wall trying to hold themselves up. Even grumpy Ragnor and Raphael are laughing. Magnus is holding himself up by using Ragnor’s shoulder and  I’ve officially humiliated myself and I should be banned from ever speaking to a human being ever again because besides my siblings I just don’t know how to. So I do the only thing I can do. The thing I almost did during the first lesson: run like ten hellhounds are chasing me.

“Hey! Wait a minute!” Again I don’t know which person asks it but this is the second group today that probably thinks I’m a freak.

I finally find a bathroom and I start to wash my face attempting to cool it down because _god I am red_. My cheeks are seriously sticking out like two tomatoes. Oh god what have I done…*PING*

I glance down at my phone that managed to survive the humiliating fall and see a text from..Lydia Branwall? And it’s from a group chat with Simon Lewis, Clary Fray, Lydia Branwall and..me. I stare totally confused and then open the text.

**Lydia Branwall:**

**Hey Alec! You looked really sick when you left I hope you’re okay. If you’re not then you should go home because you seriously didn’t look well. Btw I added our phone numbers and added you to our group when you were what looked like** **_really_ ** **deep in thought because I told you but when I wanted to hand back your phone you didn’t react and then you suddenly took it and left. Just so you don’t think I took your phone without permission.**

 _Oh._ Then I get an another text from the group.

**Clary Fray:**

**We also wanted to ask you if we could hangout this weekend. Watch a movie or something?**

*PING*

**Simon Lewis:**

**Yeah man we’re thinking Sunday? Fast and Furious 8?**

Whoa.. wait they’re asking me out? They don’t think I’m weird for just bolting? Wow I guess this school is really open minded but what should I answer? I mean if I go I’ll have no idea what to talk about and as you can see I’m really bad at talking. Then again they’re probably already aware of that so they know I won’t say much right? Plus they can’t be asking me out, out of pity because I’m new, because then they would only hang out with me in school and not outside. And I seriously need to change my lifestyle so I quickly text a “yeah sure” before changing my mind.

Now just what the hell is Fast and Furious 8?

I walk out of the bathroom trying to block all thoughts of Camille but I do remember the Group Seven so I avoid taking the same route while I google Fast and Furious. Well, if I’m not going to be clueless at Sunday I have to binge watch this film serie.

I manage to avoid seeing Camille and meeting Group Seven for the rest of the day and instead I focus on Lydia, Clary and Simon who are actually pretty fun to be with. We even stay a bit in the hallway after school and start to talk about whatever. Even I participate a little and I can slowly feel myself getting used to these three people. When I come home Jace and Izzy are already there and they’re eating dinner without me. I sit down at the table and then mum starts asking about our day. Correction. She starts asking _Jace_ and _Izzy_ about _their_ day and just nods once in my direction.

**It never used to be like this but now, there’s no turning back because what has been done, has been done and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malec..indirectly..again:)


	4. An unexpected turn of events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one  
> Sorry for any mistakes!

I spend the last three days studying my ass off because not only is Hodge’s mouth big but also his homework so I haven’t been able to watch the Fast and Furious films. So here I am on my way to our meeting place outside Starbucks with no clue as to what we’re going to watch because I didn’t watch the trailer either. Not only that but Simon texted us yesterday saying something that almost made me cancel.

**Simon Lewis:**

**GUYS I’M SO SORRY BUT I KIND OF TOLD RAPHAEL THAT WE’RE GOING AND HE IS STILL SUSPICIOUS OF ALEC AND CLARY SO HE ALSO WANTS TO COME. HE AND THE REST OF THE GANG I AM SO SORRY.**

First I didn’t understand why only me and Clary and not Lydia as well. Turns out Lydia is lesbian but Clary is straight. Wow good thing Raphael doesn’t know that I’m gay.

But that’s not the issue here. The problem is that Group Seven (or should I say Group S?) is coming too and because of the previous humiliating accounter, I was going to cancel. But I didn’t because Sunday means everyone is going to be home. My siblings are not going out and both of my parents are going to be home. Which means another day filled with resentment towards me and reminders of the incident that happened a few months ago and that means it will be another day with me sitting in my bathroom crying nonstop while questioning my existence.

So no I didn’t cancel because being at home is worse than meeting Group S again. Maybe. But Clary,Simon and Lydia will be there and we’ve actually grown closer over the past four days. We text everyday and I even told them about what happened with Group S in the hallway and they started laughing nonstop. That’s why Simon was so apologetic when he sent that text but if my new friends are going to be here today then maybe I might make it because with each passing day I feel less awkward around them.

So I just grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and a black T-Shirt with a black jacket because I was in a real hurry and on my way to come late.

I turn around at a corner and there they are. All of them. Lydia, Simon, Clary are waving at me... and Will and Jem are doing the same?! Catarina and Tessa are smiling at me while Ragnor and Raphael are looking grumpy as ever. Magnus is smirking the exact same smirk that he had  in the hallway and God I try not to stare at his appearance. I reach the two groups.

“Hey” I mumble.   

Everyone starts to greet me except for Magnus who is just standing there eyeing me from top to toe making me flush.

“So lets goooo. Lets get moving guys! I’ve seriously waited _a year_ to watch this movie can we pleaseee hurry upppp!” Simon is practically whining like a desperate kid in need of Ice cream. But Raphael just smiles at him and takes his hand and wow this guy turned from grumpy to loving with a single eye contact with Simon.

“Come on mi cariño let’s go” Simon kisses his cheek excitedly and they start walking in front of us. The rest of us just laugh at them and start to follow. Even I couldn’t help but smile.

“They’re really cute” I tell Lydia and Clary.

“I knowwww they’re adorable especially with Simon’s dorkiness and Raphael being totally weak for it” Clary responds.

“And the way they just get lost in each other's eyes every time they look at each otheeer” Lydia continues with a dreamy tone.

“Are you going to buy that lottery ticket?” I ask Lydia my head gesturing towards Magnus.

“God no, being in Magnus’s presence is easy since Simon’s dating Raphael but getting him to TALK to you, now that’s luck. He only talks with his group of friends and then he’s actually the one doing the talking to the point of annoyance. That’s what Raphael tells Simon.” Lydia answers.

We reach the cinema and quickly take the best seats.

This is horrible.

The seating arrangement is horrible.

Of course Raphael insisted on sitting next to Simon. Next to Raphael is Lydia and Clary. Next to Simon is Jem and then Will. Next to Will is Tessa and then Catarina and Ragnor. Next to Ragnor is Magnus and then me. I’m sitting next to the King after I practically (insulted?) his name four days ago and he is seriously intimidating but I hope the film will take my mind of things.

And Oh God it did take my mind off things to only fill it up with other things. So much violence and near death experiences and I’m about to throw up because the scenes are giving me flashbacks to that day. I start to feel the haunting memories come back with full force. I grab the arm seat and squeeze the stone hard material harder and harder.

“Ow”

I turn around and see Magnus glancing down at his arm where I’m squeezing like my life depends on it.

He doesn’t sound angry or annoyed instead he says it very softly and is now looking at me curiously. Still, I quickly pull my hand away stammering something that resembles an apology but it doesn’t stop the feeling of nausea possessing me and I feel Magnus’s eyes on me and that’s it. I stand up and quickly stagger to the restroom.

I start washing my face with soup because I seriously don’t want throw up today but it’s too much and I fall to the ground. Oh no, please not a panic attack.

My breathing speeds up and I start seeing black spots imagining that night all over again and I try clutching at my throat although I know it’s useless. I distinctively feel something warm against  my back but it’s probably just the wall.

It becomes worse and worse and I think I’m going to faint. That is until I feel someone cupping my face but I don’t know who because of my blurry vision until I hear the voice.

“...just breath with me. In and out. Inhale. Exhale. Slowly. Focus on my eyes and only my eyes and don’t think about anything else.

Magnus.

I do as I’m told and it’s starting to get better because now I finally see his eyes. Those eye. Are they even real eyes? I know they’re dark brown because I’ve seen them before but in this light they are golden green-like even though it’s impossible. They are so fascinating that all I can do is stare.

“Good. Really good. You’re doing great Little Flower. Now count down from ten with me..10...9...8…”Magnus continues and what did he just call me?

I do as I’m told again and after a few minutes it’s over and reality kicks in and I start to blush because Mr Sexy just saw me in this state and now I’m noticing the hand he has on my back and the hand he has on my face. And did he just talk to me? I guess we’re buying that lottery ticket after all Lydia.

“I-I’m s-s-so sorry. R-really t-thank you I-I” I try to talk but easier said than done and he interrupts me.

“Why are you saying sorry? Just lean back against the wall and relax, Flower.” He speaks softly and reassuringly and I do as I’m told for the third time. Did he just call me _flower? Twice?_ First time he did it I thought I might’ve misheard since I was just coming down from my panic attack but now I hear him loud and clear. But I don’t say anything because I kind of..like it?

After a minute or two of actually-not-so-awkward-silence Magnus speaks.

“I hope it’s not too inappropriate but do you mind telling me what triggered you in there?”

No I couldn’t answer him because then I have to say why and that means I have to tell the story. The story about what happened in Raj’s party and he’ll hate me. Because everything is my fault.

“Umm nothing triggered me I just felt really bad. Th-the same thing happened Wednesday”

“I don’t believe you. My mother is a psychologist and she taught me a thing or two but if you don’t want to tell me it’s okay” Magnus voice is still so soft and kind so I answer him.

“The violence, the near death experiences, the danger…” And Magnus will probably ask “why” now because all these things are normal in movies even I know that. But instead he just nods.

“Okay lets get you out of here. Wait here darling and don’t move I’ll be right back.” Magnus flashes me a beautiful smile and steps out of the restroom.

All I can do is obey that handsome face and try not to think about the fact that he just called me Flower and Darling in the last ten minutes.

Magnus returns almost immediately and by then I’ve managed to calm down and wash my face a couple more times.

He crouches down beside me and smiles kindly.

“Well do you wanna stay here or do you wanna go grab something to eat?”

Wait I’m going out to eat with The Magnus Bane? I actually kind of want to because he has this mysterious yet carefree aura surrounding him and I just wanna unlock every secret hidden behind those beautiful eyes. I still think he’s a douche though and going out to eat means eating and that doesn’t sound so..appealing.  

“Umm w-what about the movie and the others?We can’t just leave them a-an-and…” I say attempting to find an excuse not to go but Magnus interrupts me by a simple finger on my lips. The hottest guy in the universe’s finger is on my lips. Please take notes at that.Then he takes it away slowly while staring into my eyes and I fight the urge to lick my now super dry lips. I can feel my face becoming more red by the second.

“Don’t worry I took care of it and now lets go. I brought your things along with me” Magnus says and I notice my wallet and cellphone in his hand and he hands them over to me.

“Thank you” I say shyly and his smile widen and he helps me up. When we’re about to head out one of the employees that assisted us sees us and she grins at me while giving two thumbs up. I can’t help but smile.

“Whoa what is that? That’s the most angelic smile I’ve ever seen in my entire life..! Why don’t you do that more often?! I’ve only seen you smile twice today and wow I must say it’s really dazzling and this is coming from the most shining human being alive!” Magnus exclaims and winks at me while smiling and I blush.

He’s right I don’t smile that often and it’s not something new because I never smile at things unless they really impress me. But with time and because of a certain..person I started smiling more and more. That person taught me how to smile and do a lot of things but now I’m back to my previous state not dearing to smile at just anything because I don’t deserve it. Someone like me shouldn’t smile.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you darling I meant it as a compliment! I like your smile Alexander.” Magnus states seeing the shift in my expression and okay, I heard that right? I’m not imagining things? He called me by my full name and it sounds so beautiful coming from him.

My full name. Not even my parents call me Alexander only one person ever did. The same person who taught me how to smile and I could feel tears starting to sting at my eyes and another panic attack arising but no. I can’t. I can’t bother Magnus more than I already have and he probably thinks I’m really weird. I mean, he’s been with several people right? I bet no one had a panic attack and got upset because of a simple compliment. I made Magnus miss out on a movie that’s, according to Simon, one of the most popular movies and the last thing I wanna do is make him regret that decision more than he already has. So I start to focus on something else. We’re going to McDonalds right? It’s the closest source of food from here and it’s approximately 5 minutes away. What am I going to order? And I have to eat otherwise Magnus would surely think he totally wasted his time. Maybe I could only order fries..? Without ketchup of course but will he think that’s weird? Slowly the bubble of panic that have been building inside me fades away while I try to think of a way to escape this situation.

Thankfully I don’t have to think about food anymore because Magnus enters Starbucks instead and I just follow him silently. Did he sense my panic when he said that we should go out and eat? He did say his mother is a psychologist maybe he got some of her observing talents? Or I’m just overanalyzing things but I really don’t want to be an inconvenience to him or be the reason that he’s having the most boring day in his life.

We sit down at an empty table and a girl comes over to take our order. So, what would a normal growing teenage boy order?

“ I will take a grande chocolate chip cream frappuccino. And with blended cream of course.” Magnus says and winks at the girl. The girl smiles and winks back and then she looks at me with an almost annoyed expression. He ordered a _what now?_

I look down at the menu and see what Magnus ordered and I order almost the same thing. I have to take a large right?

“Uhh I’ll take a large gingerbread cream Frappuccino blended créme” I say robot-like reading straight from the menu because what the hell is that? And why the long names?

“I think you have to re-phrase your order” The girl says while she’s smiling forcefully and Magnus snorts. Wait what? I don’t get it. I start to blush and look up at Magnus that’s covering his mouth attempting to hide a smile. He doesn’t succeed. I look up at the girl that’s waiting impatiently for my answer but I have no idea what to say. What’s going on?

“You mean you’ll take a **_Venti_ ** Gingerbread Cream Frappuccino…?” The girl asks pretending to be completely clueless.

“I-I guess…? I answer.

“Thank you for your order they’ll be here shortly” She says like she’s been rehearsing for an important exam but before she goes she flashes a smile at Magnus.

When she’s finally gone Magnus burst out laughing and stays like that for a few minutes. I don’t get it.

“Oh Alexander I’ve never laughed so hard at someone! You’re completely adorableee!” Magnus says between laughs and I blush harder at what he called me. But I still don’t get it.

When Magnus finally stops laughing and sees my clueless expression he smiles.

“Venti means large Darling.” He laughs again. “And Grande means Medium and Tall means Small. I swear to god I usually hate all those idiotic Starbucks puns but you should have seen yourself!”

“Oh” I answer and he laughs. His laugh is like music and I love music.

“You don’t come here often do you?” He asks.

“N-not really no” I answer. Will he think that’s weird?

“Didn’t any of your exes drag you here?” He asks. It’s a totally normal question. But I’m freaking out.

Oh no this guy is like a freaking dating machine and he’ll definitely think I’m weird if I tell him..But seriously? What the hell, he already thinks I’m weird! I got a stupid panic attack just from a couple of violent scenes from a movie. There wasn’t even blood! So to hell with it!

“Not really” I mumble and he raises an eyebrow.

“Really? Well that’s surprising. Where did they drag you instead?”

“Nowhere.” I answer silently and Magnus lifts both of his eyebrows in surprise. But then he sees my expression and I silently die when he starts gaping surprised.

“Just to be clear here. You have dated before right? Or you know, done other things?” He asks.

I shake my head and I guess now is the time he’ll laugh at me but he didn’t. He just looks generally surprised as if he can’t believe it.

“Oh my god what? I don’t believe it! Someone with your looks could easily get a date!” He exclaims and I can only sit there and blush with embarrassment.

They were quiet for a moment before I open my mouth.

“Y-you’re weirded out right?” I ask with embarrassment and what a stupid question because of course he is!

“ No no I’m not weirded out just surprised! I just can’t bring myself to imagine it, they all should line up for you..” Then he leans over and puts two of his fingers on my now red cheek.”Because you’re so handsome but yet so cute and... _innocent._

Ha! I want to laugh out loud. Me? Innocent? If only he knew he would totally change his opinion about me. Someone like me could never be innocent. Not anymore at least.

It takes me a moment to realise that he just called me handsome and I look up at him and find him gazing into my blue eyes with his fingers still in the same place. I stare at him with the same intensity and I never thought I can get so easily lost in someone's eyes although I know this doesn’t mean anything. Magnus only sees me as the awkward boy he found sitting on the restroom floor having a panic attack and deciding that maybe they could go out and grab something. Plus I can’t start having feelings for him because I know they will never be returned because he is Magnus Bane. I’ve heard enough from Lydia, Clary and Simon to know that I should treat Magnus like fire. You can come close but no too close and you absolutely don’t give in to it because then you’ll hurt yourself and I’ve had enough of that. So I break our trance by looking down clearing my throat and answer him.

“I don’t really know about that. People prefer my brother or my sister and I usually just stay in the shadows because as you’ve surely noticed I’m not exactly an expert at keeping up a conversation.” Magnus removes his fingers and laughs at that. Is he mocking me? But then he says:

“ You know what I like about you? You’re honest and say what’s in your mind like the first time we met. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone get my name wrong or call me “His Majesty”straight to my face. That’s what makes you so fun to be with. You’re straight up when it comes to things.”

I smile at that because me blurting things out has always gotten me into trouble before with mostly my parents. And then I remember our first meeting. Our first horrible meeting and I can feel panic starting to build up and I open my mouth to explain myself but Magnus beats me to it and changes the subject:

“Your siblings huh? Isabelle and Jace Lightwood? I must say I enjoy Izzy because come on, her style is not to compete with! Of course that applies to everyone except for me I could easily win because I’m fabulous, but that blondie though? No thank you. He is waaay too cocky and waaay too full of himself. Not that I’m not any different but the difference between me and him is that I actually do it right and I’m not a total dick. No offence.”

I can’t help it. I start laughing and I can’t stop. Then Magnus starts laughing with me. When we both finish laughing I look up at him.

“Um, they’re not in our year how do you know them and how did you know we’re siblings?”

“As you already have so specifically declared, I kind of am the King and I know who everyone at BH are.”

I bite my lower lip.

“N-no offence but how could you be any different than Jace?” I mumble.

“What do you mean?”

“H-how many people have you been with? Y-you can round them down.” I ask unsure if I’m trespassing a territory I shouldn’t be in.

“Well I lost count at seventeen but in my defence it’s rare that I’m the one taking the first step. It’s always them coming to me and I can’t help it. I like to flirt and it’s incredibly easy then one thing leads to another.” He answers and winks.

The girl that serves our table is finally on her way to our table and I wonder what took her so long and I’m just about to comment on it when Magnus says something that spikes my interest.

“For example I can easily pull that girl in with a cheesy line. I consider myself gifted at the art of flirting and come on, I also do have the looks for it.” He says while smiling teasingly.

I usually never do this but I want to see him in action so curiosity takes over and just before she puts our orders on the table I can’t help but whisper:

”Prove it” and I’m not sure he heard me until I see him look up in surprise but then he starts to smirk at me and I can feel my heart skip a beat at that smirk.

Don’t get too close Alec.

**It will burn.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I agree with Magnus about the Starbucks puns but come on! It was ALEC in STARBUCKS I just couldn't resist


	5. An unexpected turn of events Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Malec  
> Again, sorry for any mistakes!

I look down and now I know why she took so long because  _ wow _ . Okay I know I don’t come here often, actually I don’t come here at all but I can bet on my house that this, whatever this is, is not suppose to look like that. First of all the cups are so big and didn’t Magnus order a grande? Medium right? I ordered a large but Magnus cup is waay bigger than mine and his cup is so overfull that the cream is dripping down the cup and spilling over at the table. She also added a couple of biscuits thats sticking out from the drink in all directions and don’t get me started on the chocolate sauce..that almost looks disgusting. My drink looks totally normal. I look up at the barista and see her smiling flirtatiously at Magnus. 

Well, come on show me how you woo the girl Magnus Bane. 

But somehow, I feel a powerful hate towards the girl and I try to tell myself that it’s because she’s clearly not doing her job as a barista and treats customers unfairly based on looks because Magnus hasn’t even said a word to her the whole time. I should be complaining but instead I just feel angry and uncomfortable like I don’t belong when Magnus looks up at her and meets her smile. Then I feel him kick my leg under the table as if he’s saying  _ pay attention now _ . Like I can not pay attention when he is smiling like that.

“Thank you darling”.

“Anytime. Tell me if you need me to put in something more in your drink” She answers and winks at him. I’m pretty sure if you put in something more the plastic will burst and you’ll get a table filled with..whatever that is to clean up.

“No I’m good I don’t want to trouble you." Magnus answers. Then: "You don’t look so well.” Magnus states while looking concerned. 

Wait is this how you flirt because I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t say that?

“Yeah I do have an aching headache. Long day but I’m fine.” Then she leans closer to Magnus and looks into his eyes seductively. “I’m more than fine”

I wish I never challenged Magnus because now I’m not only feeling angry and uncomfortable but also strangely..disgusted.

Magnus pushes some hair off her face and smirks. 

“I can imagine. It must have hurt pretty badly when you fell from heaven huh?” Magnus says like he’s actually asking a question like it really happened and winks.

Oh. Wow. It took all I have not to burst out laughing because did he just say that?! I know I asked for cheesy but no girl would fall for that! At least that’s what I thought because the girl starts to blush furiously and I wonder for a brief second if that’s how I have been looking like the entire I’ve been sitting here talking to Magnus. Then she smiles awkwardly and sprints away. 

She comes back a few seconds later with a pen and writes down her number on Magnus’s hand and quickly runs away again. When we’re sure that she’s gone we both burst out laughing and I feel bad. I hate these sorts of things. Guys fooling women or men. Or women fooling men or other women. I’ve experienced the latter and I’ve learned to despise such manipulative people because it’s so..cruel. For example this girl is probably going to go around all day or week expecting a phone call and will she get it? Maybe, maybe not. And if she doesn’t get it maybe she’ll get sad, disappointed or angry and all because she fancied the boy laughing in front of me that called her an angel. 

But still I laugh and not because of what he did to the girl but because of the cheesy pick up line but still I feel extremely guilty afterwards. He really is a total asshole but somehow..I really enjoy being with him and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much in a really long time.

Then Magnus starts to talk about his group of friends while we drink our frappuccinos and I briefly comment on how much I ship Raphael and Simon. Magnus’s entire face lits up and he starts to talk about how much he also loves them together and how much they love each other in secret. 

He tells me about how he one day went over to Raphael's house to make sure everything was fine because Raphael's family had left town and asked Magnus to check out their house once or twice just to be safe and maybe stay over. He tells me how he entered Raphael's room only to find Simon sleeping in the bed with only his boxers wearing Raphael's shirt while clutching another one of Raphael's shirts. Once or twice he was murmuring Raphael’s name. Magnus tells me how he sent a picture of the scene and told Raphael and that he didn’t get an answer. Instead Raphael showed up two days later alone without his family 2 weeks earlier than he should’ve and stormed into his room hugging and kissing Simon while Magnus was watching from the peeping hole. 

I have to smile at that. I like Simon a lot and before I saw him and Raphael together I thought that Simon deserves better than a grumpy mean person and now I still think Simon deserves the best and that he got it. I don’t think one can find a better person than Raphael for Simon that loves his nerdiness and endless talk of Star Wars. He loves Simon the way he is no matter how many annoyed eye rolls Simon gets from literally every person that’s acquainted to him. I wish every person could be like that towards their lover and not a cheating manipulative bitch.

“So what are your hobbies? I do yoga and I enjoy swimming although it ruins my makeup.” Magnus interrupts my thinking and I blush at the question. Is it embarrassing? I mean is it something normal or cool or is it totally lame?

“Hey it’s fine you can tell me I won’t laugh or judge.” He says noticing my reaction. “Is it Disney channel? Are you still hung up on Kim Possible?” I smile. “Oh I know! You play Pokémon Go and you pretend to go to the grocery store but secretly you’re actually on a quest to catch some rare pokémon!” I laugh at that.”Is it porn?” I literally choke on my drink and start coughing. Okay I should tell him otherwise he’ll think it’s something worse than all that.

“Um I sketch” Clary is really good at drawing and at anything that has to do with art. I only sketch doodle-like and mostly unimportant stuff but I do have a weird habit of always doing wings. Different kinds of wings and I also have a thing for hands. No idea why.

“Interesting. Was that so embarrassing?” He says and gives me a sarcastic smile.

“...and I um.. love archery” I admit. Magnus eyes widen with surprise but then he gives me a big grin.

“Omg really?! That’s not embarrassing that’s so cool! How long have you been doing this? How far can you shoot? Can you shoot moving targets?! Can you shoot with any bow? Even if it’s broken?! Does this mean you’re good with knives too? Are you like a ninja?! Omg do you have Shurikens hidden on you in case of an attack?!” Magnus asks question after question with such great enthusiasm he sounds like when Simon is talking about Star Wars. Now I know what Simon means when he said Raphael tells him, that in their group Magnus is always the one talking to the point of annoyance but I don’t find it annoying. I find it rather amusing and I'm actually happy that he seems to like my hobby. 

My passion for archery is something else. It’s the only thing keeping me grounded. I  _ need  _ it like I need air especially after what happened. I stopped smiling, I stopped eating like before and I became more distant. People have different ways of dealing. Some do boxing and others run. Jace does boxing and he used to bring me along. He said he can let go of everything there and just  _ punch _ . Other people run or do other activities.

People also have different ways of dealing with sadness when you’re in it too deep that you just want to  _ feel something _ . Anything. Others don’t want to feel at all. Some get drun k and do drugs. Others use sex. Others do self harm and maybe cut themselves. But me? 

I have archery. 

It’s in that moment when you don’t think as you aim at your target and just thoughtlessly release the arrow. Then right after you’ve done that, even if you know it will hit where y ou intended it to hit, just for a brief second you start to worry. “ _ Will it really hit?” _ It’s in that moment when you drop everything and just focus on that thought. Then when it does hit where you wanted it to hit you forget everything and just feel that proud happiness over yourself that makes everything so worth it. You do that arrow after arrow and slowly everything starts disappearing. You do that until your fingers bleed and you get lost in the sensation that is archery. You  _ feel. _

The worst part of it is when you come home to your family’s ignoring looks and snarling comments and everything comes crashing back into your brain. But at least you got some peace.

“Alexander?” Magnus snaps me back to reality and I realise I’ve been silent for a long time. I’m about to answer all of his question when he beats me to it like always. “Are you tired? I suppose we have been sitting here for long. Lets go” Magnus goes up and I start to collect my things. 

Then I look up and I see him talking to the male barista who is smiling at him with a blush clear on his face. Magnus turns around and discreetly winks at me to come. I head over there.

“...suppose you’re tired.” Magnus tells the barista. Oh no same pick up line?! “But well you should be” Magnus says while smirking seductively. “ Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” He says and winks again. The barista blushes harder and Magnus still smirking exits the store. 

** God he really is a player and that pick up line sucked more than the other one. I smile at the barista who looks like he doesn’t know what to do and head out after Magnus. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for next chapter: Fun's over.


	6. The Consequence

When I exit the store I see Magnus standing next to Ragnor with the entire group already there.

Oh, I didn’t realise how long we were here.

Simon was talking excitedly with the group about the movie and everybody pretends to listen except for Raphael that looks at Simon amusingly. I seriously like those two together. Simon then turns around and sees me.

“Omg Alec you should have been there!!!! There was this guy a-and h-he just…!” he starts while gesturing wildly with his hands. I don’t get a thing he’s saying. Then when he starts describing really big things he uses Raphael’s huge hands instead, his own hands apparently not being enough to describe the action and the entire group starts smiling widely. Raphael just stands there with a super poker face and it’s so hilarious we all start to laugh. What makes it even funnier is that Simon thinks we’re laughing at what he's explaining and now and then he puts in a “I know right!?” or “ I know it’s hilarious”. We laugh even harder. I don’t think I’ve laughed so much as I’ve laughed today and I feel guilty about it because I shouldn’t. I know people tell you to move on and it will get better if you do that but the thing is you can only move on if everything is finished and this is so not finished. This is as _unfinished_  as it can get and it will always stay like that so how do people expect me to move on?

“Alexander?” I hear Magnus’s voice and look up. “Are you okay?” Everybody stares at Magnus with shock.

“Y-yeah” I answer shyly.

Then our two groups separate and I’m alone with Simon, Clary and Lydia heading home.

A black bird comes flying down towards us and I duck reflexively. It circles around behind me and then flies towards the sky again. There is only one bird and only one. No more. I smile sadly and the others seems to notice that.

“Alec?” I peak up at Simon.

“Listen man, if there is anything bothering you or making you uncomfortable you can tell us” Simon says.

“ You know that we’ll always be here for you right? Even if just met a couple of days ago I have a feeling we’ll stick together for a really long time” Clary fills in.

“Whatever it is, you can talk about it with us and don’t try to deny that there’s nothing bothering you because there is. I noticed it the first time I talked to you but we won’t pressure  you to say anything you don’t want to say. But we’re your friends so don’t lie to us and say that everything is okay. I just wanted to say that.” Lydia says with a serious voice while looking straight ahead towards the road.

I’m stunned. I’ve never met such accepting people before. Except for once. They know that something is wrong and they’re not pushing me instead they’re just letting me know that they’ll always be here for me. But if they find out what’s really going on will they still be here for me?

But for now they are and I say the only thing that can describe what I’m feeling.

“Thank you”

After that it was silent and then we all head in different directions except for Simon and Clary who lives in the same area.

When I get home I find my parents sitting on the couch while watching TV and Izzy on a chair texting. Jace is in the kitchen looking for something interesting in the fridge.

“There’s food in the fridge” Dad says emotionlessly without looking away from the screen.

“No thank you” I mumble as I start to head over to my room but not before I hear dad say one final thing.

“Fine you can stay in your room decaying for all I care! You do deserve it after all. Useless kid”

Nobody protests.

When I’m in my room I fall on top of my bed tears starting to emerge in my eyes. Then someone knocks on my door and Izzy walks in. This is a surprise and I quickly blink away the tears.

“Hey brother” Izzy says her voice serious.

I don’t answer.

“Alec remember the times I was always by your side no matter what? I never left you and always defended you even if you were the one who was wrong. Always.”

Is still don’t answer but I can feel the panic rising.

“Alec answer me damn it!”

I stay quiet. Like always. Like I did that night. I didn’t say anything.

She strides forward and puts one arm on each side of my shoulders and starts to shake me.

“That’s it Alec! Tell me what happened that night now!”

Nothing comes out of me and she shakes me harder and puts her face close to mine.

“Alec talk!” Then.” DID YOU DO IT!?” She screams the last sentence and tears starts to roll down my cheeks. She lets go of me and exits my room slamming the door leaving me there crying and I don’t stop crying until I eventually fall asleep.

* * *

_Ten year old me is laying down on the grass looking up at the sky._

_“Alcyyyy!”_

_“Ew don’t call me that” I say but still, I smile._

_“ Admit it you love it when I call you that don’t you Alcyy?” He says with a baby voice._

_“Stop ittt” I laugh._

_“That and Alexander. You love it.” I smile “Omg look up!” He shouts and points at two birds flying together._

_“It’s two birds? So?” I ask not getting it._

_“But look! There is an entire flock of birds flying everywhere but those two are flying together never leaving each other's sides!” He exclaims amazed._

_He’s right. The two birds have totally abandoned the others and is just sticking to themselves._

_“That’s you and me. The bird to the left is me and the one to the right is you because it’s black like your hair.  That’s us up there. We will always fly together Alcy and even if people try to separate us we will never abandon each other. We are forever. Me and you Alexander” He says and smiles at me._

_I look up at the two birds and I smile._

_“Always and forever” I say._

_“No not forever Alexander”_

_I glance at him surprised and to my horror I see his face filled with blood. There is blood coming out of his eyes and mouth and...everywhere._

_“Why Alcy? We were supposed to fly together.” He cries as his clothes gets soaked with blood. I want to crawl over to him and do something but I’m completely paralysed. I start to cry begging him not to go but all I get from him is:_

_“Why!? You don’t deserve forever!”_

* * *

I wake up and I sit straight up in bed tears soaking my face.I’m super sweaty and I open a window. Of all the dreams this was definitely the worst one and I can feel a panic attack starting to come up. Maybe I had this dream because I’m being reminded of what I’ve done. Being reminded that I shouldn’t be happy the way I was yesterday.

I need to shoot. I need to shoot some arrows right now or I don’t know what I’ll do.  

I tiptoe down to our basement with my breathing increasing every second that goes and start to search until I finally find them and I run out of the house holding a bow and some arrows. I don’t care if someone hear me or sees me they wouldn’t care anyway. I stand in front of a tree in our backyard. I swallow trying to calm my breathing and start to aim. And I never miss even if my head feels like it’s pounding like crazy. I aim and I hit over and over again until my hands start to hurt but I don’t care.

My panic attack long gone I just stand there and shoot not caring if anyone looks out the window and sees me in the dark crying and shooting. My family already thinks I’m mentally insane and the only reason they haven’t made me go see someone is because it would bring shame to the family.

When I finish it’s already dawn and I walk back panting to the house finally calm and start to get ready for school. I walk past my parents and siblings who just stare at me and I go straight to my room to take a shower.

School isn’t that bad. Surprisingly, when I always walk by Magnus he always shoots me a smile in my direction making me involuntarily blush and return the smile. First time he does it I’m not sure it’s meant for me and I look around behind me causing him to laugh silently. All lot of people stare. Then I start to get used to the unexpected smiles, I mean he did help me through a panic attack and we spent 2 hours in Starbucks talking about each other. It’s normal that he’ll greet me in the hallway right?

Unfortunately I’m not in a good mood today after tonight and I’m barely even present when Clary, Lydia and Simon are talking in the cafeteria but they don’t say anything. I drown myself in music and try not to think about that person but I just can’t and I start to feel so cramped in the cafeteria. I take a deep breath and tell the group I need to go to the restroom for the sixth time today. I have this pit in my stomach that won’t go away no matter what I do. Am I being punished for allowing myself to let go yesterday?

I get up and walk down the hallway where I see Group S and when they see me they all smile (except for Raphael and Ragnor that is) and I force a smile on my face but all I want is to get out of here as fast as I can. Then I spot (Aldertree I think?) staring at me with hatred together with the guy that’s sitting next to him during Hodge’s classes. I think his name is Meliorn? I quickly look away and finally reach the restroom.

I get in and thank god no one is here.

I spoke too soon because next thing I know I’m being shoved against the wall my breath knocked out of my skinny body. The person who did it is strong and I look up and I’m suddenly face to face with Aldertree that’s looking down at me with pure murder in his eyes. My heart starts beating faster and I hear the door open and Meliorn walks in.  

I slowly stand up and I take one look at them and I know what’s coming. Meliorn starts to raise his fist at me but the restroom door opens and I thank god for that.

Again, I spoke too soon because out of those doors the evil queen emerges with a wicked smile. I start to feel sick at the bare sight of her.

“Hello sweetheart long time no see.”

If I thought that the sight of her is enough to make me sick I don’t even know how to describe what her voice does to me. I take one step back involuntarily. Camille smirks and gives the boys one look.

**“Get him”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Alec..


	7. The Guilty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes!

The first punch hits my stomach knocking the breath out of me for the second time and I let out a pained sound. Meliorn picks me up from the ground and holds me in a strong grip in front of Aldertree that just keeps on mercilessly punching me everywhere. Except for my face. I guess they can’t do that because then people will see that I’ve been beaten up and ask questions. Questions these guys don’t want me to answer. 

I just stand there and taking it punch after punch recalling all the horrible things I’ve done and I’m almost glad that this is happening. I know it’s weird but I’m almost relieved thatI’m finally facing the consequences I deserve. I almost smile at that.

Suddenly Aldertree stops and I look up slowly my body trembling and see Camille holding up her hand but Meliorn is still holding me firmly. She approaches me with a smirk and I flinch.

“First Jace and now Magnus Bane, Alec? You can’t seem to back off.”

Wait what?! What does Magnus have to do with anything? Is it because of the smiles? But they’re only greetings!

“W-wha-wha?” I manage to say because I still can’t breath properly and I’m standing there panting for my life after the many hits to my stomach and my whole body is shaking and I would probably fall on the ground if it weren’t for Meliorn’s strong arms. Then Aldertree grabs my collar and puts his face so close to mine I can see his red pupils. Is he.. high?

“Magnus is mine! You don’t have any rights to waltz in here like a clueless newbie and then just after being here for barely one week share secret glances with Magnus Bane! You got that? GOT THAT?!” Aldertree roars and I flinch away for the millionth time. Wait a minute. This guy thinks there’s something between me and Magnus?

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Camille is not here for Magnus. She is only here for Jace but she knows that Aldertree is into Magnus so she told him that something’s going on between me and Magnus. Of course he doesn’t believe it at first but after all the smiles we’ve been sharing in the hallways he’s apparently convinced that whatever Camille is saying is true. Meliorn is here to back up his best friend. But Camille? She’s here for revenge. She wants revenge for what happened with Jace and she’s using Aldertree’s anger that she has been feeding, to do it. They’re just puppets that she’s using to get to me. 

A sudden anger starts radiating from me. After all that happened that night that’s all she thinks about? Revenge?! I still haven’t told Jace about what Camille almost did and what I stopped but I can’t believe she wants  _ revenge _ for me stopping it! I can’t believe that after all the events that happened that day she’s only thinking about what happened with Jace?! Jace isin’t even the main character in that night’s story! How dare she not care about the most important person of that night?!

She steps closer to me and Aldertree punches me again and I stagger and can’t help but let out a painful moan and Meliorn tightens his grip. 

“Too bad  _ he  _ isn't here to rescue you. Like he always did” She says sweetly and strikes a nerve. This whole time I never shed a tear but with those words I can feel my eyes starting to sting and I glance down onto the floor. Aldertree stares confused above me where I can feel Meliorn shrug and Aldertree continues his abusing making me bend over automatically and Meliorn tightens his grip even more.

“If you say something about this to anyone it’ll only get worse just so you know.” Aldertree hisses between punches and everything is slowly starting to become blurry.

Then Camille opens her mouth again.

“You know even if you blame me for what happened, it wasn’t my fault. I may have been an accomplice but you were the one that acted.” She snarls moving closer.

_ “Alec please please please stay with me just look at me buddy it’s gonna be fine just look at me..” _

Who says I only blame her?

“I laid something out there but  _ you  _ were the one that chose it’

_ “Alec no no no no stay with me just look into my eyes please don’t do this!” _

“I put it out there but  _ you  _ were the one that chose to take it. Not me!” She hisses.

_ “Alexander you know I’ll always love you right? But please don’t do this! Nonononono ALEC STAY WITH ME. STAY WITH ME STAY WI-NOOOO!!” _

The tears were flooding down my cheeks now and the boys think that it’s because of the beatings because Aldertree nods satisfied and Meliorn lets go of me. I fall down onto the floor sobbing. I can take punches I’m used to them. Me and Jace always used to go boxing together beating the crap out of each other but what Camille said? Hurt a thousand times more than the beatings. 

“You were the one that did it not me. You should only blame yourself. Just look at you. Such a little nobody. You don’t deserve to be here.” She finishes with disgust and walks out with the two confused boys. Her words reminds me of my dream.

_ “You don’t deserve forever” _

I don’t. I’m laying there crying my eyes out thinking only of him and not at the bruises forming under my shirt because I couldn’t care less. 

Eventually I stagger up wincing at the pain and limp over to the sink and take a look at myself. I look like a complete disaster with puffy eyes and my hair stands out in at least three different direction. My entire face is wet with tears and I start washing my face but the tears come back. After 15 minutes I’m finally calm enough to walk out and get to class just in time and I walk in.

Magnus smiles at me. I don’t smile back. Aldertree and Meliorn smile a satisfied smile. How can something as simple as smiles cause so much trouble? I know I shouldn’t do as they say. I know I shouldn’t reject Magnus like this when he’s greeting me but I do it anyway. Because I’m scared. Because I’m a coward. Because I’m weak and can’t escape her because I know what she’s capable of.  

I head for my seat next to Lydia who gives me a look of question. I don’t say anything and when I sit down I can’t help but wince slightly because of the bruises. Out of the corner of my eye I see Aldertree and Meliorn smirking. 

The rest of the week just gets worse. Aldertree and Meliorn always seems to find a way to corner me and beat me up. Days turns to weeks and now seven weeks later it’s still going on. Magnus has long since stopped acknowledging me together with the rest of  Group S. Clary, Lydia and Simon has noticed that something is wrong but they couldn’t get anything out of me. When they speak in the group chat I just put it on silent mode. I’m basically failing at everything except school where I at least try to keep my grades up. 

The bruises on my body are bad and I’m worried that they’ll soon break something and I have no idea how to explain a needed hospital visit because lately they’ve been using different... _ methods,  _ their hands not enough to cause harm but what they always stay away of is the face and other places like the neck that can be seen by others. I wear gloves now so I can cover up the wounds on my hands caused by the bow and arrow that I’ve been using everyday now. My nightmares haven’t disappeared either. It feels like I’m failing everything in life but the worst part is that I think I deserve it. 

During P.E I always change in the toilet so no one sees my bruises but this one time I forget to lock the door. I take of my shirt and look in the mirror and even I get disgusted by what I see. I can’t help it. I let a single tear make its way down my left cheek although I know I deserve everything I’m getting. I’m so useless and worthless I can’t even face the consequences like a man.

**And that’s when the door opens and no other than Simon walks in. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the beginning of what I have in store;)


	8. The Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First half of the chapter there is one important sentence that's a spoiler for a future chapter I'm planning on writing;)

“Hey Alec, man have you seen my...OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED?!” Simon screams and I pull him in and lock the door before anyone comes.

“P-please be quiet please” I plead as I try to cover my body. I start to pull on my shirt but Simon stops me his eyes wide and swallows.

“Alec who did this to you? A-an-and when? An-and for how long? And where were we the whole time?” Simon asks faintly fighting his tears but I can no longer fight my own and I start to cry. Simon puts his shaking arm around me and hugs me.

“A-Alec listen, please answer my questions I need to know. Please”

And I do because I can’t fight anymore. Because I’m pathetic.

“ I-It’s A-Aldertree a-an-and M-Meliorn. F-for a-about s-seven w-weeks now.” I sob and Simon lets go of me and tries to look me in the eye. His own eyes are filled with tears and I feel so bad.

“Alec I’m so so so sorry. We knew something was going on with you but we never...please can you forgive us?” All I can do is nod because this isn’t their fault. I am the one that didn’t say anything and they were just being nice maybe thinking there are problems in the family or something and they simply didn’t want to pry. Not that there aren’t any problems in the family.

“Alec I’m so sorry. We are so sorry. I’m going to make them pay one way or another! Stay here!” Simon commands and starts to head out angry but I grab his hand.

“N-no Simon please! I don’t want you getting hurt please!” I cry panicked and Simon looks me in the eyes again. His own eyes are red now.

“Alec do you trust me?” He simply asks his eyes pleading for to say yes.

I don’t trust easily but I’ve been such an ignoring asshole for the past seven weeks but they still stick with me. They didn’t leave me out of anything. They go out every weekend and every weekend they ask me if I want to come and I’m always the one rejecting. But they never rejected me. So yes I do trust that they care about me which I find surprising because I haven’t exactly been the most welcoming person and haven’t done anything to earn it.

“Y-yes” I whisper hoarsely.

“Good” Simon smiles sadly and hugs me again. “I’m so so sorry Alec” he whispers. Then he pulls away. “I’m going to fix this don’t worry okay?” Then he leaves.

I pull on my shirt and try to ease my breathing but I’m so worried and I wanna punch myself. People always get hurt because of me! Haven’t I learned anything yet? Apparently not because here I am telling Simon and I might have put him in danger as well. Now we’re both screwed. But if he can fix it..

However Simon didn’t do anything because on my way out of the locker room I get cornered again but I’m already used to it so I just stand still as they do their routine. Meliorn grabs me with one strong hand over both of my wrists firmly keeping them on my back and Aldertree positions himself.

You know, when something new happens to you, you get overwhelmed. It’s like when you get a new phone. You become super happy and excited but after one week or two you’ve already gotten used to it and you don’t feel any of those emotions anymore when you look at your phone. It’s because it’s not something new anymore instead it’s something that’s always there and you’ve simply gotten used to that.

The daily beatings from Aldertree and Meliorn are the same. At first it was painful and overwhelming but now it’s not that out of the ordinary. That’s why I barely squirm anymore because pain and me have become friends.

But then I open one eye and see light reflecting on something and I see Aldertree holding somethings. It looks like a stick but it’s metal and now I’m actually starting to get scared. Are they going to hit me with that?!

I feel my eyes widen and see Aldertree grinning like a high murderous maniac and I close my eyes because this is something new and it is gonna hurt like a bitch because I’m pretty sure he’ll break something. Involuntarily I start to tremble and I can almost see his grin getting wider and wider. What if he kills me?

I can hear the sound of the metal being swung in the air and soon I am going to feel it…

I hear a sound of metal connecting with skin and a loud cry. Was that me? But why can’t I feel anything? Or..have I gotten used to this so much that even metal can’t get me to scream? But that’s physically impossible! Then I feel something shake around me and I would have guessed it was me because I’m shaking like hell right now but this shaking is going in another rhythm. Meliorn. But why is he trembling?

I slowly open my eyes but instead of finding Aldertree standing there grinning with a blood soaked metal stick like in action movies, I see him in the quite the opposite position. Laying on the ground whimpering in pain with no bloody metal stick.  I look up and see no other than Raphael Santiago holding it instead with a serious pissed off looking face. Behind him I see Magnus Bane. He is looking equally as pissed off and my eyes widen at the sight.  

Magnus looks above me at Meliorn and with a voice full of hatred he hisses “Go…”

I feel the shaking arms around me let go and Meliorn rushes out of the room at the same time as I tumble on the ground struggling to breath. Aldertree starts to stand but doesn’t really succeed and Magnus uses the same voice he used on Meliorn that sends shivers down my entire body “Leave..and for your sake, I hope you know what will happen if you ever touch Alexander again.”

Aldertree nods desperately and starts to stand up while limping his way out of here however when he was about to go through the door Raphael stretches out one of his legs where Aldertree is just about to walk causing Aldertree to stumble and fall on the other side of the door that Raphael closes while showing his middle finger.  Magnus rushes over to my trembling panting body and carefully lifts up my face.

“They didn’t hurt your face huh? Smart. Are you okay Flower? Where does it hurt tell me.” He says so softly while gazing into my blue eyes like he can find the answer there.

Why is Magnus being so nice to me after I’ve basically flat out ignored him for the past one month and a half? I don’t deserve it. But still I can’t help but breath out “E-everywhere” because it’s too much. During the beatings it’s like I’ve lost the ability to feel but afterwards? I can’t even begin to describe it. Then I hear a hoarse voice squawking:

“Um p-please can I come out now? I-I wanna get to Alec..” Simon. Is Simon here?

“You can come out bebé” Raphael says and I see a wide eyed Simon with a tear soaked face peeping from behind a wall on the other side of the room. Then Simon runs towards me and gives me a big hug while sobbing.

“I-I feel so bad Alec how couldn’t I have known I’m so sorryyy!!” Simon sobs and I hug him back both us laying on the floor.

“I-It’s okay Simon and thank you? Y-You are the one that told them right?”

“Y-yeah and I hid because I can’t stand the sight of blood in real life in case there was some and well.. Raphael wouldn’t let me.. I can’t believe I let that happen to you Alec we knew something was wrong but I-I..!”I silent him.

“Um Simon? Listen, you shouldn’t blame yourself I was the one who didn’t say anything and you three can’t read my mind. Instead I should be thanking you because I’ve been a total asshole this past month and you still helped me.” I say weakly. Simon pulls back and looks at me.

“Alec of course, we just thought it was something really personal and that we shouldn’t butt in. Alec you’re one of us. Me, you, Lydia and Clary we’re a group. A squad. We are...SLAC or CLAS. It’s the first letter of our names combined! Omg which one do you prefer!?” I look up and see Magnus smiling and Raphael rolling his eyes but still with an amused smile on his lips. I on the other hand can’t believe what Simon is saying. After how I’ve treated them they see me as one of them. I’ve never really been a part of a squad I just had..one person really. This school really is accepting and I’m actually really touched. I smile at him something I haven’t done that often nowadays.

“T-thank you Simon . Um.. I think SLAC sounds cool? I-If that’s okay with you..?”

“That is more than cool and Alec you’re always gonna be one of us. We really like you!” Then he grins with his eyes still puffy from the tears” Besides you got me already the second  you called Magnus “His Royalness” in the cafeteria and...what you said the first time you met Raphael in the hallway! Man, that was hilarious! It must’ve been awkward as hell!” We look at each other then we burst out laughing and I wince from the pain. Simon stops laughing and turns around looking at Raphael.

“Rapha can we please take him to the school nurse?” He asks..sweetly? Those two really do change when they are in each others presence.

Then out of the blue Magnus’s start to speak.

“I can do that. But before I would like to have a minute with Alexander” He says and nods at Raphael who nods back.

“Simon lets get you cleaned up you look like a mess. Come on.” Raphael gently reaches for Simon but Simon shakes his head and looks at me.

“Simon it’s okay I’ll be fine with Magnus you go with your boyfriend. No offence you do look like a mess” I say trying to show off some type humor so he’ll think I’m really okay.

Simon regards me and I smile so he’ll be convinced. Simon nods slowly and Raphael puts one arm around him and takes him out of here. When they are gone Magnus turns to me with an intense look on his face and the lights in the room brings forth the golden-green I saw in the cinema and my breathing hitch and my heart starts beating faster as I stare at him. I don’t know why and I blush a deep red.

“Alexander…” He says with an emotionless tone and I swallow and look into his beautiful eyes nervously.

“Y-yeah?” I stutter licking my lips still panting slightly.

Oh god what am I supposed to say now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so for the next 2 chapters I'm going to focus a bit on the relationship between Alec and Simon because I'm REALLY going to need that later. (Of course there is still gonna be lots of Malec)
> 
> Also thank you so much for all the kodus, comments etc. I really appreciate it<3


	9. The Realisation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really long one!  
> Sorry for any mistakes!

Magnus takes one step forward with a face that hides all possible emotions and it gives me goose bumps.

 

“Alexander. Why were they beating you up? Don’t bother lying those guys usually don’t meddle with other people’s business unless they have a reason to. So tell me and be honest.”He says firmly and looks at me with a stone serious face. I start to panic because what am I supposed to say? I definitely can’t say anything about Camille and her reasons because that’s off limits. But I _could_ tell him about Aldertree and Meliorn but how am I supposed to tell him that _he_ is the reason. I bite my lip and stay quiet. Then Magnus nods.

 

“It’s because of me isn’t it?” he states and I start to protest but he holds up a hand silencing me. He walks over to me.

 

“Lift up your shirt”

 

I blush because A) my body is covered in bruises and I don’t want him to see that because then he’ll feel guilty B) I don’t want him seeing my disgusting bruises C) THE Magnus Bane is gonna see me shirtless and I’ve been around enough to see how well built up Magnus is whereas I am so skinny with not a lot on. He’ll be very unimpressed and D) It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable to have those golden-green eyes staring at my naked upper body.

 

“ _Now_ Alexander” Magnus says it so determinedly that I know he won’t have it any other way and with a flushed face I take of my sweater. I hear him inhale sharply and I start to cover my body with the sweater for the second time today but Magnus grabs the sweater and tosses it to the ground. Magnus stares at my body so intensely I feel I’m getting red like..everywhere. Then he looks up with furious eyes.

 

“I’m not gonna let this pass Flower…” He says angrily and I feel my heart beating faster at how he’s talking to me.

 

“H-how did you know I-I was here? I stutter and I curse myself for my inability to talk especially when it comes to Magnus and my heart can’t stop pounding a trillion beats per second.

 

Calm down Alec you cannot go down this road he is Magnus Bane and you’re a nobody. Or you are somebody. You’re your family’s greatest disappointment. You’re probably your friends greatest mistake and... _he_ is your greatest betrayal. But.. I can’t control my heart. It’s like Magnus is controlling it everytime he enters a room or stands so close to me.

 

I try to escape these thoughts and instead focus on what Magnus is telling me.

 

“ I was sitting next to Raphael in biology when suddenly the door burst open and Simon came in crying looking at Raphael. Raphael took one look at Simon and quickly got up to him. I followed. When we got out Simon could barely speak and Raphael had to calm him down. He told us what happened and who it was. Then we saw them. Aldertree and Meliorn high as ever holding some kind of metal thing. We followed them and saw them get in here.” Magnus looks down at me his eyes warm now, but there is still a hint of determined vengeance in them, and caresses my cheek. “I’m sorry Flower that we didn’t get here sooner but they locked the door and since this thing is hard like metal we couldn’t break it down and had to wait until Simon unlocked it with hair pins. I don’t even want to know why he had them.” He added attempting some humour.

 

I suddenly feel a great respect for Simon. Not that I didn’t before but now it’s different. That must have been embarrassing to come crying into a classroom. He embarrassed himself for me and he didn’t even care. He did everything he could to help me even after how I treated him and the others. It feels like I can really count on him now. If only he can count on me because I’ve already proved that no friend should ever count on me. No matter what.

 

Then I remember what Magnus said.”Magnus don’t do anything please. Just let them be.”

 

Magnus removes his gaze from me his expression turning cold.

 

“ Never. I’m going to find them and make them regret the day they laid eyes on you” he snarls his body language reeking vengeance. If only he really knew why and what I had done, I doubt he would've interfered with Aldertree and Meliorn. Maybe he would've helped them.

“Please? Can you do this for me please?” I’m practically begging but I don’t care because they warned me. It’s not that I’m scared of what might happen to me. I seriously don’t. I’m scared of what might happen to Magnus. I’m scared of Camille and what she’s capable of. Although I still think Magnus is a douche but he helped me countless times. He helped with my panic attack, took me out, he didn’t judge me, he was kind and not rejecting. He, The King, even smiled at me, the new kid, in the hallway and some people even started looking at me with respect. And now this. Maybe I got him wrong? Maybe he’s not a total douche. Maybe he has a reason for him to be who he is just like I have a reason for my own situation.

Magnus sighs when he says my expression.

 

“Okay fine but on one condition” I nod”If anyone _ever_ bothers you again in any way you tell me immediately. Even if they just _look at you_ weirdly you come to me straight away” He says darkly. I gulp and nod again but I don’t understand. Why would THE Magnus care about me? “Lets go to the school nurse” he says and stands up.

 

“Umm, w-why do you care so much a-about me..?” I ask hesitantly and Magnus just glances at me and extends a hand. I take it and he helps me up and I clumsily try to put on my sweater while wincing from the bruises. We head out into the hallway but not before I hear Magnus whisper something I almost missed and doubt I heard:

 

“Because you’ve unlocked something in me”

 

I follow him silently through the empty hallways to the school nurse. But if the school nurse sees me won’t she know? I’m just about to tell Magnus to not open the door to her office but it’s too late and he enters. I gulp and follow after him angrily. After all she can’t force me to take off my sweater right?

 

“Hey Kathy! Listen there is this thing my friend here has to help me take care of and you can’t really be here…” Magnus says to the nurse pretending to sound nervous. I stare at him in shock. What is he saying? The nurse, Kathy, eyes Magnus from top to toe and smiles approvingly at what she sees. Are nurses allowed to do that..?

 

“Magnus Bane always a pleasure! But no you know I can’t leave my office to two kids besides, I can help you..?” She says smiling flirtatiously. Okay, this is definitely wrong and I start to fidget wanting to get away from here. Magnus looks down at his feet and chews at his lower lip still faking it.

 

“B-But y-you see I-I have this allergy th-that causes things to a-appear on my body a-and I-I have this cream that I-I have to apply all o-over my body. I-I forgot t-to do that a-at home s-so I asked Alexander to help me out a-and I-I know you’re a-a nurse b-but you’re also a-a woman a-and I-I don’t want to g-get n-naked in front of you….” Magnus stammers and damn he’s good. I nod at her playing along as I try to punch away all thoughts of Magnus naked body out of my head.

 

It actually works because she smiles sympathetically and nods.

 

“It must be so hard on you sweetie to have that kind of allergy and of course I’ll give you two some privacy and I’ll even write you a note to your teachers. You poor thing” She smiles sweetly and I hate her. She steps out of the office but not before she gives Magnus a bright smile and send me an annoying look. First the barista and now the school nurse seriously?!

 

Once she steps out Magnus smiles proudly.

 

“Thank you” I whisper shyly while glancing down at my shoes.

 

“Yeah I was good wasn’t I?” He teases while watching me.

 

“Y-yeah you were” I answer still looking down.

 

“Yeah, you are not that hard to imitate.” I blush furiously and look up at him.

 

“I-I don’t talk l-like that!” I gasp with tomato cheeks. He laughs for the first time today and then steps closer and..starts pinching my cheeks?!

 

“Aww is my little flower embarrassed?” He says and continues pinching my cheeks. I’m totally and utterly a loss for words and I just stand there avoiding his gaze while radiating what feels like hundreds of degrees of hell fire. He laughs even more and removes his hands so suddenly like he got burned.

 

“Owww it burns!!!” He shouts theatrically while making a show of blowing at the fingers he’d been pinching my cheeks with. I feel my entire body heating up even more and I duck my head wanting the ground to swallow me up.

 

Magnus continues to laugh but then he stops and takes my hand.

 

“Come on lets lay you down on the bed and I’ll open a window to cool you down you little fire radiator.” He smiles amused and chuckles. I still ducking my head let him lead me to the bed where I lay down. I hear him open a window. Tease.

 

“Take off your sweater Flower” He commands grinning. I obey nervously. I close my eyes and hear him open a bottle. Something cold and creamy starts touching my upper body with Magnus hands sending shivers across my being. I keep my eyes closed and try to give in to the nice sensation that is Magnus big soft hands.

 

After god knows how long I slowly open my eyes only to find Magnus staring right into them. His unknown-color eyes is drinking my blue ones in like water and I flush. I’m completely mesmerised by the beauty of his eyes and I start a quest to find out their true color. They are so pretty. He is so pretty and handsome. Then I find myself looking downwards at his lips and he starts bowing down towards me. He leans in and I’m ready for someone to wake me up from this once in a lifetime dream. I don’t know what I’m doing and I know I shouldn’t do this but all me and my 1 000 000 beats/second heart wants is this beautiful douchebag standing in front of me so I also lean in. I can feel his breath against me. I tilt my head slightly..close my eyes...part my lips..

 

“WHO IS IN HERE GET OUT!!!!” Someone bangs at the door and we both jump snapping us out of our spell and I quickly put on my sweater while Magnus cleans everything. I’m too dazed to register who the voice belongs to until Magnus opens the door and Jace walks in with a girl beside him. Jace stares at us eyes wide and disbelieving then quickly takes out his phone and starts typing while saying something that sounds like “she’ll kill me if I don’t do this, he’s all she’s been talking about”.

 

After a few minutes of just standing awkwardly Izzy suddenly runs in panting. Jace’s girl left because she had class.

 

“I came as fast as I could! Where is Magnus Bane?!” She says looking at Jace but then her gaze flickers to me and Magnus.

 

What the hell is happening..?! Like..can someone please explain how it went from me almost having my first kiss with Magnus Bane to both of my siblings standing in front of me?! I fidget uncomfortably for the second time and I know I must look completely flushed.

 

“Magnus Bane! Me and Jace have been wanting to meet you since like forever!” She blurts out and then she blushes slightly. She clears her throat and extends her hand.” Isabelle Lightwood”

 

Of course they’ve been wanting to meet him they’ll do anything to become more popular and climb up in the social popular scale and Magnus is an easy way to do it.

 

Magnus takes her hand and kisses it while smirking. I feel a strange tug inside of me. No, I’m not jealous, I tell myself. Then Jace steps forward and extends his hand while grinning with that expression that makes girls faint.

 

“Jace. Jace Lightwood. At your service.” He says and winks. I want to laugh because Magnus seems to be the only one vaccinated against Jace because he raises an amusing eyebrow eyeing him from top to toe skeptically. Judging by his expression Magnus doesn’t like what he’s seeing and he doesn’t take his hand causing Jace’s face to falter a bit as he lowers his hand. Then Jace clears his throat and looks at me instead and immediately his face hardens with anger and pure rage.

 

“What are you doing here?” he snarls and Izzy puts a hand on his arm. Magnus answers for me and I feel bad because I know Magnus isn’t the type to talk to people he doesn’t like.

 

“Alexander here was helping me with something concerning my medicine. And what are you doing here” I’m shocked because his voice sounds so..harsh. My siblings look at me surprised.

 

“Well I came here because I saw that Kathy nurse was on a break and I was going to.. _you know_...with that girl I was with.” Jace says quick before he turns to me with that same harsh tone. “And why do you know Magnus Bane?”

 

I think what he meant to say is “How can someone like you know someone like Magnus freaking Bane?!”. I don’t really know what to say but thankfully my blonde hero always rescues me on cue.

 

“Omg Alec!!” I hear Lydia shout and I look up and see the group..my group on their way here looking panicked and scared. My siblings turn around to face them and I quickly give them The Look that I hope indicates that they shouldn’t say anything in front of my siblings. I don’t have to worry about Magnus since I kind of..trust him? My group thankfully gets the memo and start to fix their facial expressions. Simon looks better now. Before they arrive I see Jace looking at Clary.

 

“So damn hot” he says in trance. Yeah, I guess Clary is attractive.

 

“Really sexy..” I hear Izzy say and I roll my eyes.

 

“You too Izzy? I know Clary is attractive with her red hair and all that but…” I mumble but Izzy interrupts me.

 

“I’m not talking about the redhead I’m talking about the blonde girl” she snaps and I practically see her zooming in on Lydia just as they approach us. Great. Let me get this straight the guy who gives me serious heart palpitations’s best friend is dating my friend and my sibling wants to date my two other friends. God, it’s like I’m being attacked from all directions.

 

Thankfully, again, I don’t have to introduce anyone because Jace takes one step towards Clary and brings her hand to his lips.

 

“It’s Jace. Jace Lightwood. Alec’s big brother. It’s Clary right?” he says smiling and kisses her hand. Cary blushes nodding and I roll my eyes in secret. Then Izzy reaches for Lydia.

 

“I’m Isabelle Lightwood. Alec’s big sister.” Izzy says with the same expression as Jace.

 

“I’m Lydia Branwall.” Lydia says and smiles sweetly eyeing Izzy from top to toe. Now I roll my eyes as obviously as I can and my siblings glare at me.

 

“I’m not single!” My siblings were too busy eyeing Lydia and Clary to notice Simon but now they’re looking at him. I can see them take in his appearance: Black jeans, white Star Wars T-shirt, Star Wars socks that’s visible and white sneakers that are extremely dirty. Then they gasp almost at the same time and Izzy is the first to open her mouth.

 

“You’re the one they call The Unapproachable One! You’re Raphael Santiagos boyfriend right?!”

 

“Yes he is” We all turn around and see a grumpy Raphael approaching looking not too happy and Simon yelps at his voice. I look up at Magnus trying to hide a smile but I shouldn’t have done that because Magnus himself is also trying hard to hide his smile. Why? Well, because Simon looks like he just got caught cheating having a threesome or something when Raphael slowly approaches him sternly. Izzy speaks up again.

 

“Ohhh so you’re all Alec’s friends and since one of you is dating Raphael here it would explain why Alec knows Magnus.” Izzy exclaims like it’s so obvious while looking at Jace. I feel Magnus tense beside my and I look and I’m surprised to see him rather..annoyed or angry?

 

“Figures. Surprised he even has 3 friends. He only ever did have one and even that..” Jace says mockingly with an extremely dark tone but Izzy puts one hand at his shoulder and shakes her head again warning him that this is a subject that should not under any circumstances be opened. I feel my breathing starting to increase and my heart raging. Why are they doing this to me? Even though I deserve it they’re my siblings! At home they can do whatever they want with me but why are they embarrassing me like this here!?

 

Then I feel a hand resting on my back and I look up again at Magnus who’s looking down at me with worry noticing my state. I don’t know what to say or do. I honestly just want to run away and never return. I see Magnus starting to open his mouth looking irritated as hell when Simon steps forward towards my siblings beating him to it.

 

“I don’t really like how you’re speaking about Alec because he is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. He’s amazing, he’s shy and his sense of humour is awesome. I think he has a big heart and really, he is just a little panda that you wanna hug! I don’t care if you’re his siblings or not ,because you sure as hell don’t act like it, but nobody insults my friend.” he says facing my siblings who’s just staring with shock at Simon. Lydia and Clary move so they’re standing beside me and I’m utterly shocked.

 

For seven weeks I’ve been the worst so-called friend ever and here they are saying that I have a big heart and defending me against my own siblings. I can’t believe it and I feel a new sort of respect towards all of them and they seem to surprise more and more. But...they don’t know what my siblings know and I’m seriously scared that if they do they will treat me the same. And now I realise that I don’t wanna lose them no matter what.

 

Raphael who has been standing quietly takes one look at a very annoyed Simon and then looks at my siblings who flinch under his piercing gaze. What is it with Group S that makes them so damn intimidating especially Magnus, Raphael and Ragnor?

 

“Don’t you have class?” He says darkly and they flinch again taking one step back.

 

“W-well yeah but we wanted to…” Jace starts but this time Magnus interrupts them.

 

“Leave.. _now_ ” He snaps and everyone looks up at him in surprise. Yeah, who am I for Magnus Bane to defend me? Then Izzy and Jace shoots me evil glares as they start to leave.

 

“No offence but even though your sisters fashion is on fleek I don’t like either of those two.” Magnus tells me irritated while looking at where they had been standing moments ago.

 

“I-It’s okay” I say but I don’t really know what to feel. They’re only like that because they know what happened that night. Or they _think_ they know what happened but either way it’s still my fault. The thought of Magnus treating me like Jace and Izzy come as a punch in the stomach and I’m surprised. No Alec you can’t! You can’t have feelings for him! But how long can I really deny my Magnus controlled heart palpitations? As long as it takes.

 

“ I agree but the brother is soooo handsome..!” Clary exclaims dreamily.

 

“And the sister is soooo freakishly sexy…!!” Lydia exclaims longingly. Then it’s Simon’s turn.

 

“Mmmmm..but their attitude needs some serious hard Raphael discipline…” We all burst out laughing and even Raphael rolls his eyes but with a smile fighting to burst out on his lips. When Simon sees this he grins. He always does that when he manages to get Rapheal to smile.

 

“Yeah Simon I wonder what kind of _discipline_ Raphael gives _you_ ” Magnus says and winks. Simon blushes really deep red and takes a few steps back hiding behind Raphael and they all laugh except for me and Raphael. Seriously, I feel with him because same? How many times have I not started blushing involuntarily and wished that the ground would swallow me up? I did it a few moments ago and at least Simon has the guts to do it. But I can’t help but smile guiltily and I can tell Raphael also wants to do it but he controls himself much better than me.  

 

“Everybody leave him alone” he says sympathetically.

 

“Of course Raphael we’ll leave him in your _ver_ y _capable_ hands..” Magnus says evilly and everyone laughs even more. Seriously Magnus is such a big tease. You can barely see Simon now as he hides his existence behind his taller boyfriend and honestly I don’t blame him. I bet if we were in his shoes we would have wanted to do the same but not dare to. I can’t look at this any longer. Simon was a real friend for me who stood up for me everytime and I haven’t done anything except being a total asshole so before Raphael has the time to open his mouth again I interrupt him.

 

“C-can everybody s-stop laughing at him?” Magnus is the first to stop and Raphael looks at me in surprise. Clary and Lydia both teary glance up at me ..with pride? “Umm I mean, I’m just saying that uhh..” I stammer and I curse myself because really Alec?! After everything Simon has done for you you can’t even speak a comprehensible sentence? Get a grip! I swallow and try again.

 

“W-what I’m trying to say is umm w-what’s going on between Simon and Raphael should stay between them a-and.. it’s kinda none of our business..” I mumble shyly and blush when I see Lydia’s, Clary’s and Magnus’s proud faces, Raphael that’s looking at me with respect and Simon’s flushed face peeking out from behind Raphael back with surprise and gratitude written all over it. I stare down at my shoes. Then Lydia and Clary quickly but teasingly apologizes to Simon.

 

Then we all had to get to class even though we are so late and start walking down the hallway and I try not to wince from the pain as Simon approaches me.

 

“Alec thank you for saving me and I’m so sorry I talked like that to your siblings!” He exclaims desperately.

 

“Simon you have nothing to thank or apologize for besides I should be the one thanking you. You practically saved me..” I say and I mean every word. Then Lydia and Clary comes over to me.

 

“ Alec we’re so sorry about what happened we should have done something!” Lydia sounding desperate as well.

 

“Alec we’re so sorry we were horrible friends you were getting beat up and we just..” Clary says on the verge of tears.

 

“Guys stop it like I told Simon I’m the one at fault because I didn’t tell you and you can’t read my mind so don’t you dare feel guilty about me okay?” I say serious because I can’t let them feel guilty about this because this beyond their control. It’s beyond anyone’s control. Lydia smiles sadly.

 

“I think Simon is right you really are a panda..” she says and I roll my eyes.

 

“Omg we got it!!!! Lydia you’re barbie because yeah you do look like a barbie and Clary you’re firehead and Alec you’re panda! We all got secret code names! This is perfect! All we need now is walkie talkies and we can go commit crimes!!!!”

 

“And what are you?” Magnus asks Simon but his expression says that actually he really doesn’t want to know.

 

“I’m Darth Vader duhhhh..!!!” When Simon sees our clueless expressions he gapes. “ Darth Vader is like the big bad in Star Wars and…!” Simon starts but Raphael interrupts him.

 

“Shut up mi carino.”

 

Simon shuts his mouth as quick as he opened it and everyone smiles.

 

“And you’re never gonna get a walkie talkie I won’t allow it” Raphael states simply and Simon starts whining but I don’t hear or see them anymore because all I see is the evil queen straight ahead of me smirking. She walks towards me and when she’s about to pass by she bumps into me and drops to her knees all her books falling on the floor. She looks up innocently.

 

“I’m so sorry! Help me out?” She asks sweetly and I know I have to play along because if I don’t then everyone will know I have a history with her. I gulp and bend down and start collecting her stuff while the others walk away except for Magnus. Then when I hand her the books she leans in and whisper so quietly only I can hear what she’s saying.

 

“You shouldn’t have done that with Aldertree and Meliorn. Or you know what? I’m happy that you did. Now, face the consequences because after everything that we’ve been through you clearly still have no idea what I’m capable of , Little Nobody.” She whispers venomously and then she thanks me and walks away but I’m not aware of that. All I can do is freeze wondering what she’ll do. Will she hurt Simon? Or Magnus and Raphael? Today is when I realise how much these people have come to mean to me so much that I don’t care what Camille will do to me I just don’t want her to hurt them.

 

“Are you alright Alexander? You look pale” I glance up at Magnus and I force a smile while nodding. I have to pretend everything is fine. He is still frowning but he gives me a slow smile.

 

“Well my class is that way so I guess I’ll see you soon?” He says somewhat hesitant and points at the opposite direction of where Camille headed. I nod.

 

“See you soon. A-and Magnus? Th-thank you so much for everything today I-I don’t know..” I start but he puts one finger at my lips silencing my rambling the same way he did back in the cinema all those weeks ago. He removes his finger slowly and I follow the finger’s journey back to Magnus’s side not helping the smile forming on my lips.

 

“Stop with the “thank you’s” already darling. I would actually have snapped at your siblings if Lewis hadn't beat me to it. It was really hard keeping my rage in when I heard them talking to you like that. It was my honour to help you” He teases and I laugh at that but the pit in my stomach that Camille left is still there. Then I can’t help it.

 

“The honour was all mine Your Sparkliness” I say while bowing down slightly. I earn a chuckle from Magnus and I blush at my actions. Then he does something unexpected. He leans down and kisses my red cheek slowly and tenderly. I freeze. His lips are so soft as they meet my skin sending shivers down my body and my face grows a trillion degrees hotter and I’m pretty sure he can feel the temperature increasing under his lips. He moves his lips to my ear and I can’t help but shudder slightly.

 

“Farewell my beautiful little flower” he whispers making me shudder even more. He pulls back and looks at my shocked wide-eyed face. He starts smirking that ultimate bad boy smirk and walks away. I feel like my heart is doing front-and back flips in my chest . I turn my head to the opposite direction to where Camille left.

Camille. The person who makes my heart increase with fear.

 

I turn my head towards where Magnus just disappeared. Magnus Bane. The person who makes my heart flip with….

It’s at that moment I realise I can’t deny it anymore. This person made me forget all about Camille (one of the two people that have been haunting me for almost a year now) with one single eye contact with me and replace my thoughts with something else.

  
**It’s at that moment I realise that I can no longer deny it. I have a miserable crush on the King of Brooklyn High and I’m soooo screwed.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jace...


	10. The Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes!

The rest of the week goes smoothly. Physically that is. Mentally? Not so much. I’m a complete nervewreck. I’m either thinking of a particular sexy someone with enchanting eyes or I’m worrying about what a particular evil someone told me. All the while I’m trying to avoid Magnus as best as I can because crushes can disappear right? Right? There is no beatings anymore but I receive several murderous looks from various of people I don’t even know and that was exactly the look on Aldertree’s and Meliorn’s face’s before they beat me up and without helping it I’ve developed a fear of staying in the cafeteria and being in the hallway alone. So I stop doing that and instead I lock myself in the restroom at breaks. A least that’s what I plan on doing but ever since the day where the group...my group...found me beat up they wouldn’t leave me alone. They have noticed my uneasiness I have regarding Camille and Magnus (although they don’t no that) because they commented on my mood but they didn’t wanna pry so they stopped and instead they made sure I never leave their radar.

 

Finally when the week’s over I go home and quickly rush up the stairs to my room to avoid any contact especially since we have some guests over. I take a shower and I quickly go to bed. I have to take care of my movements because the bruises are still fresh and they hurt and I’m kinda happy that they do because it means that I’m in pain. Which I should be and I’m satisfied. I’ve thought about hurting myself and it’s not that I like pain it’s just I desverve to be in every level of pain because everything is my fault I deserve to feel the same pain that _ he _ felt when he.. 

 

I don’t realise I’m crying until I look up and meet my own reflection in the mirror that’s hanging on my wardrobe door. Why Alec? Why were you so weak? Why are you still weak?  Why couldn’t you fight a bit longer? 

Why. Were. You.So .So .So . WEAK?!!!! I wanna scream. I wanna break something. Anything. I need to let it out and I can’t use archery because there are guests here (not that I care) and what I really wanna do now is scream. I grab my pillow and stuff my wet face in it and cry out for all that I’m worth. So useless. I’m such a nobody. I’m literally laying on my bed roaring in a pillow.

 

Again, I don’t realise that I’ve fallen asleep screaming and crying until I wake up the next morning with red eyes and my vocal chords feel like they’ve been ripped into a million pieces. My parents are at work and won’t be coming home until 3 in the morning or something and my siblings are sleeping over at their friends houses judging by the note I’m surprised they even bothered leaving me on the fridge. Home alone. I quickly put on netflix before I go into self loathing like yesterday. I don’t even bother to put cream or something to ease the pain from my bruises because I like how I wince every time I do something. Because it reminds me of how I got them and why which I should remember

 

When it’s 6 in the afternoon the doorbell rings interrupting my nap and I get up. I nervously walk over to the door. No one should be coming here right now. I curse Jace for breaking the peeping hole (like who can manage to break a peeping hole isn’t that close to impossibe?) and I think: screw it and I go into the kitchen and grab a knife. So useless you can’t even defend your own thin pathetic body Alec. 

 

I approach the door and I swallow and begin to open it slowly keeping the knife hidden. Then I take a deep breath and open it really quickly and  I am just about to raise the knife when I hear three familiar voices.

 

“HEY PANDAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!” I nearly jump out of my skin in shock because right in front of me my group is standing grinning like crazy with two boxes of popcorn and large bottles of soda and five bags of different kinds of chips. I’m too busy being in shock and hiding the fact that I have a knife on me to register what they just called me.

 

“H-hey guys umm come in?” I say insecurily, gesturing towards the living room,because I’ve never had an entire squad of friends in my house. I quickly hurry to the kitchen as soon as I close the front door to get rid of the knife. I walk into the living them seeing them standing there a bit awkwardly. Right it’s my job to make them feel welcome and I have to do my best for these people that has supported me so much so I take a deep breath.

 

“Umm hey? Nobody is home my parents are at work and won’t be back until tomorrow and my siblings are sleeping over at their friends houses so there will be no awkward encounters” I assure them and they all exhale at the same time. Then Simon takes the word.

 

“Great!!! Listen sorry not sorry for interrupting whatever it was that you were doing but I have to change your lack of movie knowledge. SO GUESS WHAT?! We’re gonna watch Superman, Captain America and oh! Binge watch Supergirl!!”Simon is practically jumping up and down with excitement and Clary and Lydia are laughing and telling me that they bought snacks and I feel so touched that they wouldn’t take no for an answer when they asked me to hang out and came here instead. I’m not annoyed that they came but I feel guilty because they’re wasting so much time on a useless lost cause that is me.

 

“Um thank you so much I really appreciate it but..I don’t wanna destroy your weekend because I’m not exactly so fun to hang out with..” I mumble. I look up and see them gaping and then they approached me.

 

“Alec, our Panda, you are so much fun and you don’t even realise it” Lydia says like it’s the most obvious thing she has ever explained. I have to admit that I’ve kind of gotten used to the nickname although I’ll never say it out loud.

 

“Panda, you’re literally the coziest person I’ve ever met you’re like our cute little brother!” Clary exclaims and I duck my head embarrassed.

 

”I’m  not even gonna say anything. You already know how I feel about you man. Sorry about that by the way”Simon declares and he’s talking about what happened to my siblings. I smile and I nod making everyone start cheering for some reason and start doing preparations for the movie. And I wonder why they haven’t asked me anyhting about my bruises. They’ve literally spent every minute of the week asking if I’m in pain but maybe they didn’t want to remind me of it today? Maybe they want to have fun and distract me? Friends to that right? Well, I do get reminded almost every second when I move and I like the punishment.

 

We end up curled together in my bed watching on the TV in my room (yes I have one and I also have a bathroom for my myself and a mini fridge because everyone in this house wants to make as little contact as possible with me) and surprisingly I don’t feel uneasy being curled up in the middle. Then Clary wants to take some group pictures and I shy away because who the hell would want ugly me in a picture with three other hotties but they would have none of it and started taking photos.

 

When we were binge watching supergirl and the popcorn was out and I headed down to the kitchen to pop some more. I take a glance at the clock on the wall and realise it’s already 21.35. I press start on the microwave and wait.

 

“..rry, sorry,sorry,sorry!! I’m so sorry!!! But we were binge watching supergirl and we were so caught up with it that I didn’t notice the time!! Yes I know it’s not an excuse…” I hear a desperate and pleading Simon storming down the stairs looking a bit panicked while clutching his phone. I’m guessing he’s talking to Raphael because Simon is only like this when it comes to him. 

 

“I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again. Yeah I’m okay why? No I’m fine! Really sorry Rapha…” Simon says looking really sincere and I turn my attention back to the microwave giving Simon some kind of privacy and I start hearing those popping sounds. “Yeah we’re having fun just introducing Alec to the world of series. Yes. I know. Bye good night!” Then.”I’m really sorry Rapha” Then I hear Simon click the end call button. I turn around and see Simon looking a little down.

 

“Everything Okay?”

 

“Y-yeah. I know this will sound weird but we have this rule that if I’m out more than til 21.30 I have to call and check in with him. I forgot. I know it must sound so weird..” He explains and I interrupt wanting to reassure him the same way he always does to me. And I’m not doing it because I wanna return the favor, it’s because I really want to be a good friend to him because I really like him (as a friend) and I’m gonna try putting everything I have in this relationship.

 

“I-I think it’s cute! Th-that he is so possessive of you.” I blurt out and I mean it. Simon chuckles.

 

“I guess..I-I actually do secretly love it but don’t tell anyone I said that not even him I trust you okay?” I smile and nod not surprised. Then he smiles too.” There was this one time I didn’t take the rule seriously I thought it was a joke or like an empty threat. So I was at some friend’s house with other friends and it was really late and I forgot to call him. However I didn’t think anything of it and I didn’t notice that he’d called me like five times. Next thing I know someone broke down my friend’s front door and I see Raphael bursting in with Magnus and Ragnor and looking at me like I’ve just killed their family!!” We both burst out laughing and yeah, I can totally imagine Raphael doing something like that.

 

Simon continues explaining through his non stop laughter.

“Turns out! He had my phone tracked and located me to that house!” After what seems like an eternity we finally stop laughing. “Oh and guess who had to pay for the broken door? Me! Appranetly that was my punishment. That and the weird looks I got from literally everyone at school for weeks. And my friend’s mother wasn’t that nice either. Lets just say that, that friend hasn’t spoken to me ever since. This happened like one year ago about when we were freshly dating and lets also say that ever since I’ve taken that rule more seriously. Today was the first time.” I feel bad because I don’t want to be the reason why they fight. Simon notices my expresion and hurriedly starts reassuring me.”It’s not your fault I´ve been out late plenty of times it’s just today I was less responsible and there were things on my mind and you have nothing to do with that.”

 

Finally.

 

“Spit it out Simon”

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve been on edge the entire week tell me what’s wrong”

 

“N-nothing”

 

I sigh.

 

“Simon you said it yourself we’re friends and we shouldn’t lie to each other. You were there when I needed you and now I’m here and you clearly look like you wanna talk to someone but you feel like you don’t have someone to talk to. Obviously you have your boyfriend that you can talk to whenever you want but if it’s something you can’t even talk to Rapheal about then it must be about him. Are you guys okay?”

 

Suddenly Simon cheeks flare up.

 

“Nonono we’re fine. But yeah you’re right it has something to do with him and I don’t know what to do. I’m..scared” I start to worry and approach him.

 

“Simon tell me. Has he tried to do something you don’t want to do?” Pictures of Jace at Raj’s party flashes in front of me. But Simon’s eyes widen and he starts shaking his head violently.

 

“Nonononoooo!!!! It’s not like that at all!! It’s just….” he trailes off and gulps. “Alec, panda, please please promise you won’t laugh or judge.” he exclaims nervously and for the first time I feel this weird urge to hug him because who the hell am I to judge someone so amazing and pure as Simon? I nod reassuringly and give him an encouraging smile.

 

“Th-the thing is. We’ve been dating for one year and we’re on our second year and...Alec I’m so...I’m so in love with him okay?! A-And I don’t know how to tell him?! What if he doesn’t feel the same or think it’s too soon?! I-I’m completely lost Panda…” he slumps he shoulders and look down on the floor. I just stand there gawking and staring at Simon totally dumbstruck like an idiot. But no. This time I’m not the idiot. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so oblivious as Simon in my entire life!

 

“Simon..” I start but then I hear Clary upstairs.

 

“GUYS WHERE IS THE FUCKING POPCORN?!”

 

“Um there is something wrong with microwave and Simon is helping me fix it sorry!” I lie then I turn to sad Simon again not passing by how easy I lied without a second thought. I really have come to like Simon. Then I continue saying what I was about to tell him.

 

“Simon you’re so stupid! Have you seen how he looks at you? You’re telling me that the guy who breaks in to a stranger's house like some kind of hulk because you didn’t call him doesn’t love you? Are you telling me that the guy who came home 2 weeks earlier than he should’ve just because he saw a picture of you in his bed wearing his close calling out his name in your sleep, doesn’t have feelings of love for you?! Yes Magnus told me in starbucks. Or are you telling me that the guy who is grumpy as fuck but turns into a shining star as soon as he lays eyes on you like you’re some kind of sun doesn’t treasure you? Simon, Darth Vader would never be this stupid!” I finish lamely and I curse myself for not being able to support him but I’m proud that at least I didn’t stutter. 

 

Simon’s cheeks are completely red and his eyes wide and maybe my little monologue did help and I continue.

 

“S-Simon he’s the only one that loves and enjoys your endless rambling about Star Wars. You’re amazing together. Both you and him, where people would see flaws in each of you, you two see perfection. Simon. Tell him.”I say desperately trying to make him understand. Because sometimes there are things that you’ve always wanted to say and you don’t realise that until...they’re gone.

 

“B-bu-but hooow..?” Simon sputters shyly. I don’t know and I think.

 

“Simon tell me how you two got together.” He smiles slightly and I can tell it’s a fond memory.

 

“I had been having this crush on him since like in the middle of sixth grade but I never thought THE Raphael Santiago would even look twice in my direction. It was later in eighth grade on new years eve (your birthday) that our year decided to rent a nice place and throw a party. I saw him there looking sexy as ever and honestly (and don’t laugh now) all I could think about was how freakishly hot he is. Like he was literally radiating sexiness from his entire body and..” I roll my eyes but smile and Simon clears his throat. “Anyways, I took a couple of drinks that the guys in our year managed to buy and then I went outside and found him sitting on the bench. And well, I kind of blame the alcohol because I actually had the guts to sit next to Raphael freaking Santiago. He was kind of going through something back then that I can’t really talk about and we talked about it. Then suddenly we were really close and we leaned in at same time but then he got up suddenly and left. I had never felt so heartbroken in my entire life I literally started crying because of the rejection.”

 

Now Simon is smiling goofily and I guess now is the best part. 

 

“I was standing alone outside watching the fireworks with the others when they started to count down. I was so sad and depressed. Then when they were at 1 (one second before the new year would start) I felt someone grab me and embrace me. Exactly at zero I felt his crazy soft lips on mine and wow it felt like I would..” I interrupt him with a smile.

 

“Simon I don’t want to hear the rest. Please.” I grin. Just then we see Clary and Lydia heading down the stairs.

 

“You guys really take forever. Me and Clary have to go now.” Lydia says and smiles at me.

 

“We should definitely do this again panda!” Clary says and then they both hug me and I don’t really know what to do in this situation. Then they say their goodbyes and leave. Then I get an idea.

 

“Simon you’re gonna tell Raphael now! Today!” I blurt out and Simon’s eyes widen.

 

“What are you talking about Panda? I can’t do it on the phone! He made my first kiss special then I should make my love confession also..” And I fill in.

 

“special right?!” I bite my lower lip “I have an idea but it’ll sound really cheesy and something that comes straight from a movie or a book or a story you read online so don’t judge” He nods and I tell him. “Okay so in our house we have a pool…”

 

After I’m done Simon is just staring at me and then he burst out laughing. 

 

“This is Rapha we’re talking about he’s not gonna..” I interrupt him again.

 

“Simon if this weren’t coming from you I would think that the story you told me about how you two got together is totally made up. He broke of your kiss the first time because he wanted it special and waited until the count down. He’s that kinda guy. When it comes to you that is.”

 

Simon looks really nervous.

 

“But how will we get him here? I can’t tell him because he’ll know immediately if I’m lying.”

 

“Call him. I will talk to him.” Simon obeys but not before he says “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this” but I can see the excitement on his face. He clicks on the number and hands me the phone while covering his mouth making sure to do no sounds. I hear Raphael’s voice through the phone and I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so worried before and I feel bad but I have to do this. For Simon.

 

“Simon?! What’s going on?!”

 

Izzy used to tell me that I’m an amazing actor and with my talents in archery she always used to say I would fit perfectly in some action series. If only I were comfortable around other poeple that is. Lets hope she was right.

 

“R-Raphael um it’s me Alec. I-I don’t know what’s happening to Simon he won’t talk to me. He’s mad for some reason and I-I don’t know. I figured maybe I’d call you…” I say faking panicked and I was about to continue when he interrupts me.

 

“On my way.” he hangs up.  When I tell the news to the shocked Simon the first thing he says is:

 

“Damn you were amzaiiing.” And then. “Oh hell nah I’m not paying for that motherfuckin door later. Just saying.” And we burst out laughing until we realise shit, a worried mad stressed-out Raphael is on his way and we start panicking and get to work. 

 

15 minutes later we hear a car parking in front of my house and Simon runs into the pool house but before he does I grab his arm and tell him: “Simon he loves you so just be yourself” I wish I could listen to my own advices. Even though I’m youngest I would behave more mature than them all and it quickly became my assignment to help Jace with the drinking and nurse Izzy when someone broke her heart but what  did not know how to do is help myself. Maybe because I shouldn’t need help but they should.

 

Then I quickly go open the door because oh hell nah I’m not getting grounded for the rest of my moutherfuckin life. Though, it would be funny to see my family’s expression when they come home and they see a broken door. Priceworthy. 

 

I open the door just when Raphael goes up the stairs looking stressed and I feel even more guilty. At least Ragnor and Magnus isn't with him. I try to ignore the immediate disapointment I feel that a certain sexy someone isn't here and try to focus on the fact that I hadn't even given Rapheal my adress.

 

“Where is he..?” he hisses and I can’t help but take a step back.

 

“Um h-he is in there by th-the pool and h-he won’t let anyone in and…” Before I can finish he goes to the direction where I’m pointing. My reaction was an act but my stuttering wasn’t. Really scary…

 

It’s been five minutes and I’m really on edge. What if this is totally lame? 

 

I’m horrible I know but curiosity takes over and I start peeping through the window. I see them standing by the pool and Simon’s face is beat red and Raphael is frowning looking...worried?! Worried as fuck! Oh Simon!! He probably started this with “I have something to talk to you about..”. The guy’s gonna think you’re gonna break up with him, Simon!! 

 

I just wanna scream at him through the window and then Simon catches my gaze. I give him an encouraging smile and mouth the word “Now” as clearly as possible. I see him close his eyes, gulping and then opening them again. Raphael actually looks freaking nervous. 

 

Hurry up Simon the guy’s misunderstanding!

 

Then I see Simon looking into Raphael eyes with a defeated look and I can see him mouth the word “you” and I see Raphael go all wide eyed. Then he takes a step closer to Simon and omg I can see him also mouth the word “you”. I close my eyes. Finally. When I open them again they’re kissing. Now I know what Magnus was feeling when he wanted to take a picture because I find myself guiltily take up my phone and snap a picture. Then they pull back and stare so lovingly into each others eyes and I smile and snap another picture. When I look back up they’re kissing again and now it’s more intense...okaayy time to close the curtain Alec! I wonder if Magnus would have kept watcing...stop thinking about him Alec!!!

 

I distract myself and look at the pictures. They’re perfect. They being all fluffy in front of the pool that’s lit up by lights that we had to hang on the ceiling and with balloons on every corner. We worked really hard for that especially with the lights that come in different colors that we use on christmas and I feel so happy that I could do this for Simon. I feel that I finally made somebody happy. Finally made something right and I’m so happy for Simon.

 

I accidentally swipe right and I freeze and I remind myself why I  never go into my photos. There. Me and  _ him _ laying on the sofa stuffing popcorn in each others faces. Another swipe. Now my head is on his lap and I’m sleeping while he is drawing things on my face with markers. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.Swipe.This one is a selfie of when we ran away from home when we were eleven but his  and my  mum tracked us down.Tears is staining my screen and I sob laying down on the couch.

 

“I’m so sorry. So sorry. So sorry but I couldn’t…” I whisper sobbing. “I miss you...I miss you so much..”

*PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

 

I sit up startled. Wait isn’t that Simon’s annoying ringtone? I see his phone on the kitchen table and I wait for it to stop ringing. Only it doesn’t and I go up and I don’t even bother checking who it is when I’m  about to reject the call but my eyesight is so blurry from the tears that I just click somewhere and instead of rejecting I accept the call. Damn it. I put the phone hesitantly to my ear and the voice I hear makes my blood freeze and my heart start pumping blood faster.

 

“Solomonoooooo!!” Magnus!?And is Solomono...Simon? “ So I’ve been trying to call that annoying ass boyfriend of yours but...Solomono? Why haven’t you interrupted me yet like you always do with your rambling?

 

I swallow and I can feel my face turning red. The one person I’ve been trying to avoid and I am in no condition to utter a word right now but yet I have to.

“H-hey Magnus….” I stutter faintly my voice still hoarse from the crying. There is a pause and then when Magnus responds his tone goes from annoyed and careless to teasing in record time.

 

“... _ Flower _ …” He says like he wants to challenge me and I can literally feel him smirking with evil. My heart rate picks up more than before and I know I must look completely flushed.

  
**I tighten my grip on the phone with tears still hanging on the edge of my face. I close my eyes and open them again. Deep breath. Damn it.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lame chapter sorry..  
> I know there is no Malec in this chapter and I'm sorry but I promise there will be Malec next chapter but here I just had to focus on Alec's and Simon's relationship in the best way because like I said before, I will need it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes

“Lost your voice flower?” He teases his voice still challenging and I clear my throat.

 

“H-hey M-Magnus.” I stutter as I try to eliminate any possible suspicions of my previous crying. Damn it Alec I know you’re a stuttering idiot face to face but you’ve always had it easier to talk on the phone but apparently Magnus does something to you that you shouldn’t let him do!

 

I hear a chuckle from the other end.

 

“I think you’ve already said that darling..” I curse myself and I can hear him chuckle again.

 

“Where is that friend of yours Solomono?”

 

“Y-you know his name is Simon right?” I ask while washing my face.

 

“Yes I know his name is Solomono so where is he? Not that...I’m in a rush to finish this conversation but I just need Rapheal to do something for me and he always responds if it’s Simon. After that, I’m _more_ than _delighted_ to continue this conversation with you _pretty boy_ …”

I’m seriously scared of my heart jumping out of my chest. His voice..it’s so deep…

 

“Are you okay I can hear you panting?” Then. “Does the bruises hurt…” he asks his voice dark now and I shiver.

 

“No” I lie and I don’t want to lie because lying has already destroyed so many things so I change the subject and start telling him that Raphael is here and what happened. But not before making him promise not to spread it around his friends and etc. So I tell him and it helps me think of something else and it makes me calmer. When I’m done it’s silent on the other end.

 

“M-Magnus?”

 

“Omg I can’t believe that happened!!!”  I hear him shout excitedly and I pull my phone away from my ear slightly. “Omg. Darling you’re incredible.” I smile proudly because I do feel good that I could do this one thing for a friend without failing. I start pacing around in the room.

 

“You’re a _keeper_ aren’t you pretty boy?” He states smugly and my breath gets caught in my throat and I walk straight into the kitchen door falling down on the ground with a grunt and an “ouch”. Embarrassed beyond belief I can literally hear Magnus laughing his ass off because I accidentally pushed speaker.

 

And well of course, I mean we are talking about me here, because exactly at that moment the side door opens and a satisfied looking Raphael comes out holding hands with Simon who has his head bent down looking like a tomato. They both look up at me or rather, look down at me and the two stare really weirded out frowning down on me. Well I can imagine the view: me sprawled out on the floor with one of my hands on my probably swelling forehead, eyes wide, face flushed with a laughing Magnus on the other end of Simon’s phone that’s somewhere on the ground.

 

“...Do I want to know..?” Raphael asks sarcastically and Simon smiles at him.

 

“Raphael!!” Magnus laughing voice is still being heard loud and clear and I stand up immediately and look for the phone while keeping my head down. Way to fucking go…

 

“Please mi amigo tell me you filmed it when Alexander fell!” Magnus pleads.

 

“Magnus...what do you want..?” Raphael asks grumpily.

 

“Oh well I was trying to get ahold of you so I called Salomono!  Although I’m happy that Flower here answered rather than your boring dorky ass boyfriend”

 

“Do.Not speak of him like that. Got it?” Simon looks up at Raphael and smiles shyly. Then Raphael takes the phone from me and goes outside. When he’s gone I look up awkwardly at Simon who grins at me and starts hugging me.

 

“Panda Panda Panda Pandaaaaaaaaaaa thank you soooo muchhhh!!!!!!” He beams and I try to get loose.

 

“So how did it go?”

 

“H-he said it back! A-And he started saying things like he doesn’t care that I’m total blabbering dork and that I shouldn’t be worried!” He releases me and looks down on the floor and smiles. “I love him so much” I smile back and I was just about to open my mouth when Simon starts grinning at me mischievously.

 

“So, Magnus Bane? Going strong I see?” I blush and duck my head not looking at Simon anymore.

 

“I-I dunno what you’re talkin bout..” I mumble and I can literally feel Simon grinning.

 

“Yeah sure you don’t’! Flower huh?” Simon continues teasingly and I still don’t look up. Partly because I’m embarrassed but also because I’m ashamed. I can’t believe my stupidity! I have crush on Magnus Bane the one guy everyone warned me about. Simon seems to sense this because he puts a hand on my shoulder and leans down to try and make eye contact with me.

 

“Hey Alec? I’m teasing you. Listen. I know that we’ve been talking about how much of a player he is but..I’ve seriously never seen him give anyone this kind of attention. He cares. He actually _cares_ for once. Him taking an interest in someone is normal but after he goes out with them once he gets sick of it. You two sat what? 2 hours in starbucks and I actually expected him to ignore you the next day but he didn’t. Furthermore, man, I have never seen Magnus Bane so angry and frustrated except for once when everyone thought I was cheating on Rapha. (It was a huge misunderstanding). He took care of you afterwards, snapped at your siblings and he made Aldertree and Meliorn drop down the popular scale at school. (Yeah  I know you didn’t know that). He was so damn pissed. He still _is_ judging by what Rapha told me. And. AND. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you two look at each other. And! The only one he has ever given a nickname to is Ragnor. He calls him cabbage. The other people he has been with? He doesn’t even know their names even if they repeat it a thousand times. You? Hell, he doesn’t just KNOW your name he actually bothered to pay attention that one time in class when Hodge called you Alexander AND he has given you a nickname. Panda, do you really want me to continue?” I just stand there cheeks burning, mouth wide, gawking at Simon.  Because there is just no way that savage Magnus Bane could possibly feel something for useless me. And wait a minute..! I gasp and look up at Simon.

 

“H-How did you know that..that..I’m...gay?” I whisper the last word and Simon smile reassuringly.

 

“I didn’t but after I saw the way you look at Magnus I figured maybe you’re bi,gay or pansexual like me. Panda I really don’t have anything against it! I kind of...I’m kind of shipping you with Magnus...Hmm then we have to come up with a ship name! Magnus and Alec….well there is Malexander..or Alnus..or...Maglec...Ma..lec...OMG MALEC!!!” He literally screams it and I try to hush him.

 

“Simon there is no way okay? Like you said he has never dated anyone seriously and someone like me doesn’t stand a chance…” I mumble. Simon sighs and then smiles gently at me.

 

“M’gonna ignore the fact that you just admitted to having a crush on him and move on to the important part. Maybe the reason why he hasn’t had a serious relationship with someone is because he has tried but he didn’t like any of them. Girls nowadays are cheaters unless they really love someone and guys are total assholes. And if I’m gonna be honest, if I were him I would be really careful about starting a new relationship because literally everyone just wants to be with him because he’s godly good looking and extremely popular. They’re all fake and I think he knows that and maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to go further with anyone. Maybe he’s not a player. Maybe he’s just a normal fucking human being who doesn’t want to be used but instead be loved and appreciated forwho he is and not his appearance and popularity. The two things everyone wants from him. But you? Hell, you couldn’t even remember his name!”

 

I’m about to answer that yeah he’s right but Magnus couldn’t possibly be into me, when Raphael returned. He eyes me from top to toe and quirks a brow skeptically while looking really weirded out. He continues his stares and I start wondering if I’ve grown a tail or something.

 

“Magnus says: Sweet dreams….. _Flower_ ” He hesitated at the last word and my cheeks burn even more. Simon laughs at him and gives me a meaningful look. Then Simon looks at Raphael and his own cheeks heat up. Yeah..I don’t wanna know what’s going on in Simon’s head right now and is Raphael smirking..?  Then Raphael looks at me and his expression hardens a bit but not so much.

 

“Simon told me you’re the reason why he even gained the courage to do this and that you’re behind all of this.” he says and lazily gestures towards the pool and I nod. He looks me over and then. “Thank you Panda” he says and starts walking towards the door leaving me and Simon behind gawking.

 

“Mi idiota, are you coming?” Simon snaps out of it first.

 

“U-um y-yeah. M’just gonna grab my stuff. Alec can you go up with me?” I nod and we head up. Then Simon turns around wide-eyed.

 

“Holy shiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! He likes you! Raphael likes you!”

 

“Is that a good thing...or a bad thing?” I ask hesitantly.

 

“Super good thing duh! Oh my god what if he approves of you because Magnus likes you? What if Magnus has been talking about you non-stop?!” Simon is practically jumping and I raise my eyebrows.

 

“Or maybe it’s because I made his boyfriend finally confess to him in a special way..?”

 

“Yeah or _that_ but still!!! Omg this means we can do sleepovers!! Rapha almost never lets me do sleepovers only with people he has met because as he puts it: “you never know with these drinking high assholes nowadays” and I have to admit he’s kinda right. Aldertree asked me to stay over once and he was fun back then. I was so mad at Raphael for not letting me go and we fought and kept telling him that he can’t control me all the time but lets just say...he was fucking right. Did you see Aldertree’s eyes? High as fuck. And after what he did to you. But now Rapha knows you’re not a drinking high asshole so we can spend more time with each other!”

 

I duck my head and smile. I usually hate socializing but Simon is different but at the same time I’m so afraid to get close to him. What if Camille finds out that we’re close? Will she hurt Simon? Or worse will she tell him? But he’s Raphael’s boyfriend would she dare to hurt him? And besides how would she know that we’re having sleepovers and hanging out? But still that spark of fear inside of me that something bad will happen doesn’t disappear. Then I look up and see Simon’s bright face and couldn’t help but smile slightly.

 

“I would love that..” Simon grins then Raphael’s annoyed voice is being heard from downstairs as he shouts for Simon pissed. Simon jumps and quickly gets his stuff. When we go down Raphael’s already in his car and Simon gives me a quick hug. What is with people and hugs?

 

Then I can’t help but mumble:” Play safe tonight” Simon’s face heats up and sticks out his tongue at me making me smile. Then he walks out leaving me alone. I quickly go up to my room and plug in my earphones trying to forget about the pictures on the phone, Magnus and Camille.

 

When it’s monday I almost come late to Hodge’s class and when I sit down Magnus passes by me with a teasing smile and something else I can’t really put my finger on. I shyly return the smile but what I notice later is that Simon is right. Almost everyone is glaring at Aldertree and Meliorn who are just sitting uncomfortably. I sigh. I told Magnus not to do anything! Won’t this make this worse? Camille must know by now and I’m still waiting for her revenge and it’s keeping on edge all the time because now Simon, Magnus and Raphael are involved and I’m scared for them. Someone pokes me in the head and I jump turning around to find Simon grinning at me.

 

“I switched places with Lydia so she’s sitting next to Clary. Damn, it’s like everyone is one second away from attacking Aldertree and Meliorn! Then again Magnus was one heartbeat away from _killing_ Aldertree and Meliorn. (Lets call them Meliotree). But then a specific _flowery_ _someone_ convinced him otherwise. Hmm, who could possibly be able to tame Magnus Bane’s angeeer?” Simon quirks a teasing brow at me and I roll my eyes but still I feel uneasy. Simon sees my worried look and put his hand on my arm.

 

“Don’t worry he didn’t say it was you they were bullying. I’m not even sure what he told everyone but I’m sure that Magnus wouldn’t put you in such a position where everyone would stare at the new bullied kid. But Alec….” Suddenly Simon seems a bit insecure.

 

“I know Aldertree has a major crush on Magnus..did they beat you up because of it?” Yes but no. They wouldn’t have done all that without Camille and Camille’s reason is entirely different than the two guys but I can’t mention Camille so I just stay quiet. Why. Why do I always stay quiet? Me being quiet and withholding information was the start of all problems I have!

 

Simon expression turns sad.

 

“Yeah and I think Magnus knows that and he’s really pissed. Judging by what Rapha told me the day we helped you Magnus had been snapping at everyone until he made Meliotree pay in the best way. I heard they were called to the principal’s office for you know...drugs. Alec, you know, Lydia, Clary and me have still not forgiven ourselves for letting all those things happen to you. I know you didn’t tell us but we could have stuck with you whenever you disappeared. We’re also guilty in this Panda even if you don’t think so.”

 

“Simon...please it’s not your fault it really isn’t please just stop thinking that.” Simon drags his mouth a little and I can tell that whatever I say his thoughts aren’t going to change and I feel a pang of regret. Why am I always the cause of people getting hurt?

 

Then freaking Hodge walks in and if I thought that I was almost late it’s nothing compared to how late he is.

 

“So students before someone starts to play smartass and make a remark of how late I am let me tell you one thing your stupid minds can _maybe_ understand: I’m a goddamn teacher who has more than one subject therefore I have thousands of essays and papers to go through. So _I_ _am_ allowed to come late because _I’m_ a teacher and _we_ have a lot of stress to deal with and many things we have to worry about during the day. Got it you simple minded people?”

 

Simon leans over and sarcastically whispers:

“Excuse of the year”

 

I also lean over and reply very annoyed at this:

“Yeah like, try being a student, Hodge. Or no better: try being a student and have yourself as a teacher Hodge” Because honestly? I’ve gotten freaking exhausted of him and it’s only the beginning of the first year. This causes Simon to burst out laughing.

 

“Lewis. Lightwood. Care to share?” Hodge’s sarcastic voice fills the room and both me and Simon sit straight blushing. Where the classroom always this quiet?

 

“Come one share with us I think everyone can use some happiness.” Hodge says impatiently. Me and Simon look at each other helplessly both not wanting to get kicked out. Then an annoyed grumpy voice echoes through the room.

 

“You’re already late stop stalling and lets get on with this lesson we’ve already wasted 20 useless minutes”

 

Simon looks back and shoots his boyfriend a quick thankful smile. I do the same but Raphael just rolls his eyes.

 

“Well okay Santiago. Everybody guess what? Since you have a ten pages long essay already til friday I’m not gonna give you something so bloody.” Everybody exhales and then he puts the papers he has been holding down at the desk. “One of you please distribute these instructions that you’ll have to your next essay that is due in _one week_ and that you’ll have to do a group presentations of by comparing what you wrote with another person and find out the reason why it’s not the same or why it’s so similar and that if you had to re-write it how would you have done it differently or similarly and why etc. and present all that to the class next week on _friday_.” He claps his hands together and the sound rings in our ears. “So who wants to have the honor of distributing the papers?”

 

Literally the entire fucking class just stare at him like he just told us that he’s gonna bomb our houses and feed our corpses to his dog. Then no other than Magnus Bane comes down to distribute and everyone just stares at him because since when did he ever bother? I look at him discretely and he actually has a secret spark in his eyes but I’m too busy leaning over the table face in my hands trying to process the fact that Hodge just signed my grave with an essay and an additional project that requires me standing in front of the entire class and talk in front of those gold green-like eyes that I can’t even speak on the phone with without stuttering.

 

I finally look up at meet Simon’s equally as pained face.

 

“Wanna work together?” He asks me making me shocked. Why would he want to work with me?

 

“Uhh yeah if you really want to but you know..I’m not that good at talking..”

 

“I know that’s why you can understand me. I have a fear of standing there presenting. I literally hate it.”

 

I sigh. “Me too but at least you can talk to people normally”

 

“Trust me when I go up there I will be no different than you”

 

I sigh again.

 

“I like how he comes in here preaching about stress and then gives us this..” I say sarcastically and Simon nods. I take up my paper that Magus had left on my desk without me noticing.

I gasp.

 

“Omg Simon...” I breath staring shocked in front of me and Simon frowns and I give him my paper. After a few seconds Simon gasps too and stands up automatically.

 

“OH MY GOD YESSSS” Simon shouts while holding his hands in victory and every. Single. One. In the room. Fucking stare.

 

“Again Lewis?” Hodge sounds irritated and Simon’s eyes go wide and he sits down quickly embarrassed. I look around and see ma **ny people m** aking their best effort not to laugh. Even I want to laugh only the embarrassment is keeping me but what is keeping everyone else?

 

Then I hear a girl beside Simon whisper to her friend that looks like she’s gonna explode with laughter.” Come on fight it think of something sad. You can’t laugh. Not at Lewis you know who’s boyfriend he is and Magnus Bane seems to like that new kid”

 

I look up at Simon who just sits there awkwardly and I try to make myself invisible.

 

“I’m grateful I have Rapha because otherwise this would have been a thousand times more embarrassing and dude, be _thankful_ that Magnus _exists_ ” he whispers with a teasing tone at the last part and I smile insecurily. Then I nervously look back at Magnus who catches me looking and winks. I quickly turn back around face flushed. I swallow and glance down at my assignment paper and read it again because I have to know if I’m hallucinating even though Simon also read it.

 

**Little Flower,**

**Sunday, 3.30 pm at the amusement park. Me. You. Alone. Second date.**

**P:S your hair looks so soft from the back;)**

**XOXO Fire Radiator.**

**/Your one and only royal king of the Brooklyn High Navy Magnus magnificent and sparkly Bane <3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That assignment Hodge gave, I have it right now:(


	12. Camille's Plan part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy....  
> Sorry for mistakes

I can barely concentrate on the lesson all I can see is the note Magnus left me with my heart thudding harshly. Me? A date? With Magnus Bane? Second date? Wait..that time at Starbucks was a _date_? Not that I have any experience over what a date is but still.

When there is a couple of more minutes of the lesson Simon leans over again to the panicking me.

“Oh my god Second freaking date? Man, you’re so special I’m almost jealous!” I roll my eyes embarrassed.

“Says the guy who is dating Raphael Santiago?” At that Simon blushes and can’t help but glance back at Raphael. I follow his gaze and I see Raphael meeting Simon’s eyes and freaking winks!

“O-okay so back to you and Magnus now and instead of saying“I told you so” I’m just gonna say you were wrong and I was right and that you should always listen to me. Okay since this is Magnus Bane I have to train you. Firstly what kind of kiss do you first kiss a guy with?” At that I duck my head.

“I have never kissed anyone…” I mumble and Simon gasps.

“You gotta be kidding me? But you have done other things right? Dates and shit?”

“No..” I murmur. “And why do people keep on asking me that?” Now Simon’s eyes widen.

“Who has asked you that?!”

“Magnus”

“Omg he was practically asking if you’re single and how much experience you have so he knows how far he can go! That means he was infatuated by you the first time he saw you! His response?”

“He didn’t believe me..he said the girls should all line up for me..”

“Alec you are the most stupid Panda that has ever lived. He didn’t believe it because he thinks you’re goddamn beautiful and he wanted to make a move on you but he didn’t know whether or not you were gay/bi. By the way how does he know that you’re interested in boys? Did something happen?” Now I shut the hell up and my cheeks burn.

“Aleeeeeeec tell me. Now!” Simon warns.

“We almost kissed in the nurse’s office...but Jace interrupted then you guys came..” I mumble and Simon gasps again and squeaks:.

“Oh holy mighty! The royal family is changing blood from Bane to Lightwood-Bane!!! How could you not have told me?!!!” I press my hand against Simon’s mouth and hush him. When he nods I slowly remove my hand.

“Simon I’m nervous I’ve never been on a real date…” I admit playing with my gloves nervously until Simon puts his hand on mine.

“Panda listen. I’ve known him since forever and he has never reacted this way towards anyone. Ever. He likes you and if you think you’re gonna screw this is up because you’re antisocial (because you are antisocial) he already _knows_ that you’re awkward and if Magnus Bane is willing to go out with you twice then he likes the shy, stuttering, awkward panda that you are. The only thing you have to do is be yourself, hmm?’’

I nod carefully and before I have the time to say anything class ends and Simon pulls me close.

“And you really think I’m just gonna let you go? Just like that? I’m gonna train you so hard that you’re gonna woo his entire existence!”

I sigh as I pack my things.

“I don’t even know what he likes..” At that Simon grins and shakes his head.

“You are so wrong but so lucky because..” He puts his arm over my shoulder walking out of the classroom and then points at himself.” Your friend happens to be a couple with Magnus Bane’s best friend. You are sooo lucky to have me.”

I lift my eyebrow sensing the disaster of this idea.

“You mean _you_ are lucky to have Raphael” At the mention of his name Simon immediately smiles goofily and nods. I sigh for the millionth time.

We wait for Raphael to get out and when he does Simon starts grinning widely.

“Heyy Raphyyy!”

“Idiota” Raphael nods in acknowledgement at Simon with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Umm wondering is Magnus with you..?”

“No he has something to take care of. Why?"

“Well y’see I’ve been thinking about what to give Magnus for his birthday and well..”Simon stops when he sees that Raphael’s not even listening because of the obvious lie.

“Okay fine! We need to know what Magnus likes: food, sports, subjects to talk about, buildings, cities, conditioner, shampoo, fucking everything!! Not that it’s for anything special we just wanna know..” Simon blurts out and Raphael stares down at him before turning to me.

“He asked you out didn’t he?”  I stare down at my shoes embarrassed and nod.

“Wait how do you know? Omg has he talked to you about Alec?!” Raphael looks at Simon and quirks a brow.

“He didn’t even _have to_ your theater in the classroom was confirmation enough idiota.”

Simon avoids his gaze.

“Well come on tell us!”

He sighs wanting to get out of here and I hate that I’m being such a pain in his ass.

“Me and Magnus are the only ones who absolutely hate chocolate nougat so do not buy that. We like chocolate but not nougat. Overall he likes sweet things but he is more formal. Like, he’s the kind of person who prefers sitting in a fancy restaurant eating steak than being at home stuffing his face with chips, candy and chocolate watching netflix. Subjects? Well he likes everything but only if he likes the person he is talking to. Literally, you can talk about anything and he would find it interesting if _you_ are interesting. Oh, and don’t bother with Magnus. Even though he’s Mr Popular (an annoying one if you ask me)  he’s a very understanding person so if you don’t want to talk then don’t talk. He’ll know and he’ll just take on the mission of talking.”  Yeah I can understand that and I think back at the day where we went to starbucks and how much he helped me and somehow it wasn’t awkward. The situation was embarrassing but not awkward. Meanwhile Simon’s just staring at his boyfriend.

“I love that you’re so close..”

Raphael rolls his eyes. "By the way we quit early today because you know that receptionist? Aline? She killed herself. Adios Idiotas” and goes away. Me and Simon are a bit shocked at the news and discuss it for a bit.

The rest of day Simon is rambling about what I should wear and etc. I barely pay attention because although I’m super nervous for the out of nowhere date I have, at every corner I see Camille’s evil face. Her face is twisted in a way that tells me she has cooked up something and the knot in my stomach grows everytime I see her. I’m so caught up in my thoughts and music that I barely sense when Jem calls out to me until Simon knocks at my shoulder. I swing around and take off my earbuds and I’m face to face with Group S that’s grinning knowingly like crazy and I shift nervously especially when I see Magnus staring at me. I look away so I don’t get caught up in my on-going quest to find out his true eye color. Jem steps closer to me and points at a girl standing behind me.

“Dude she has been eyeing you since day one!” Then Will fills in:

“Yup we thought we should let you know. Ask her out!”

I shift even more and I don’t know what to say. I mean it’s not like they will judge if I’m gay. Jem and Will are gay and Magnus bisexual and Raphael is dating a guy so they won’t say anything. But it’s not easy to say the words “I’m gay”. When I first told them to my parents in an outburst they didn’t react that well. My siblings were supportive but our school didn’t really accept gay people. And don’t they know that Magnus asked me out? I feel my phone vibrate and I look at it.

**DARTH VADER:**

**Tell them. They won’t say anything I promise on the contrary they’ll be happy that you’re honest. Just do it. Plus, you already have a boyfriend to-be;)**

I look up flushed at Simon and then at the group. I swallow and I mumble.

“I-I’m gay…” Jem and Will beam.

“Well why didn’t you say anything?! Here I am trying to hook you up with a girl! But don’t worry I’ll find you a guy!” Jem and Will smile knowingly at me as they say one sentence each. Then Tessa steps forward.

“You two back off let the guy find his own person..if he hasn’t already that is” She murmurs the last sentence and I blush because they know. But why are they doing this?

“But why didn’t you say anything, Sweetie?” I look up at Catrina and I fumble for an explanation not wanting to sound like a typical teenager who’s afraid to come out. My eyes linger at Raphael.

“Because I would like to keep Simon as my friend” I lie and they all laugh and I can hear Magnus chuckle. Raphael rolls his eyes something he always seems to do while mumbling “idiota”.

“True Raphael, you would threat Alec everyday! Okay we have class lets go!” Catarina says and they all say  “see ya”and goes. When Magnus passes by he whispers: “Until next day my radiator” and I go all stiff and warm as he walks away. I look at Simon who has his mouth pressed together in a wide grin.

“You know that was a test right? They know Magnus asked you out but they wanted to make sure that you’re actually interested in men. Omg Aleeeec this is gonna be great!! I can see the future! You, me, Raphy, Magnus. Double date! It’s gonna take some convincing to Rapha though but it’s gonna be greatttt. I ship you so hard alreadyyyy.!!!!! Omg Saphael and Malec on a double date!!!” I quickly walk past Simon flushing.

“Shuddup already!” Simon follows me.

“Aww are you embarrassed? By the way what’s bothering you? There is something else..” Just then my eyes catch Camille who’s standing by the lockers kissing a guy and my stomach twist. Weren’t she with another guy before? Doesn’t surprise me she’s the same as always and I feel so disgusted.I don’t answeer Simon and instead we continue walking while Simon changes the subject to star wars. What am I supposed to tell him? I can’t say anything about Camille that was the deal we made..because she has that stupid thing on her phone that can destroy everyhting.

The week passes by quickly and the school is mourning Aline. When it’s thursday I get home only to be welcomed by a piece of paper thrown at my face by a furious red-faced Robert. I stare wide-eyed as he moves closer to me.

“You really are useless what is this?! You can’t do anything right can you? Not friends not school not the right kind of romance not anything!” I stare shocked and confused and then I start to involutarily tremble as he raises his hand to hit me and his hand collides with my cheek so hard I almost fall down onto the floor. I put my shaking hand on my cheek and I see blood. His ring slashed through my skin. I look up at him and realise my vision is all blurry and I’m trembling like hell.

“People is gonna look down on us because of you! Even the girl who got this in her mailbox by mistake was smirking mockingly because of you! You’re ruining the family name with your gayness and stupidity!” If Robert was yelling before, now he is roaring making me step back scared with tears falling and the worse thing is that mom, Jace and Izzy are just pretending like nothing is going on. “YOU ARE A DISGRACE YOU LITTLE BUG” He raises hand again and I clench my eyes shut but I don’t feel his hand and I look up and see Izzy standing in front of me.

“He is not worth it daddy!” she snaps breaking me even more. I swallow and grab the paper that was thrown at me and crying rush up the stairs.

“YEAH YOU BETTER TRAIN AT RUNNING NOW BECAUSE WHEN YOU’RE EIGHTEEN YOU ARE OUT!”

I stumble into my room as I close the door and fall on the ground crying desperately. After a few minutes I look at the paper and I’m utterly shocked. It says that I’m failing every single one of my classes.  I sit up staring at the paper that soon has tears all over it. It can’t be right! Even though I’m new I’m one of the best in all my classes! Is it because of the disaster today in Hodge’s lesson? No but that shouldn’t affect my grade and what about the rest of my teachers?! I don’t understand! I don’t understand!

I look at the paper sobbing even more. And I thought that school was the only thing I’m doing right! My breath is coming out quick because I feel so small, useless, helpless, hopeless and with no idea what to do. I quickly stand up with the pit in my stomach growing bigger and bigger filling up my throat blocking me from further breathing and thinking straight. I barley see my bow and arrow as I quickly lift them and aim at my dart board I have at the wall. And I don’t care as I aim with shaking legs and hands and shoot. It doesn’t help. The room spins more and more and I’m hyperventilating until I drop to my knees not being able to get oxygen in my head and it’s like I’m feeling everything all at once and I clutch at my throat desperate for air. I read online about different techniques you can use to calm yourself and prevent panic attacks but everything is just blank now.

And then everything goes black.

I open my eyes dazed not knowing where I am for a second. It felt weird opening my eyes like something is stinging all over my face and then I remember: coming home, dad, the letter, crying and..fainting. My eyes widen because I’ve only fainted once and it was the day after that night. I sit up and take a glance at the clock and immediately stand up because I start in 30 minutes.

When I get to school I still have this lump in my throat not going away as I walk into Hodge’s classroom and I try to keep my head down so I don’t have to respond to any smiles or hello’s. When I sit down I glance to the side and see Lydia sitting there and not Simon. Thank god I can’t handle speaking to Simon right now. She smiles at me and I just nod.

Hodge is late. Again. At the end of the lesson I walk up to him when everyone is gone and I can see Simon waiting for me outside.

“Hey Hodge. Yesterday I recieved this paper and it says that I’m failing all my classes and I-I just d-don’t understand..!” I shake my head violetly fighting the tears and Hodge eyes me with surprise and motions for me to give him the paper. When he reads it..he tears it apart then squat so he’s almost face to face with me and I’m surprised because Hodge is never gentle and he never treats us like kids.

“Alec that paper is bullshit and as your mentor I’m gonna go talk to the other teachers and the principal. We’re gonna fix this. I mean please! This class is full of idiots and don’t get me wrong you’re also an idiot but...slightly less. There is a difference. You’re one of the best I’m gonna fix this.” I feel relief wash over me that this was all some sort of mistake then I look up at him.

“Since when are you my mentor?” He smiles.

“Since now. So if you’ll excuse me I have to glue this paper up and show it to the others and fix one of my favorite student’s grades.”

“Thank you” I mumble confused and he motions for me to get out. I quickly wipe away any signs of tears and face Simon that looks worried.

“Everything okay?”

“I honestly don’t know” Because I don’t. I freaking fainted yesterday and all for an misunderstanding. Maybe my family is right. I am mentally ill. I look up right in time to see myself crash into someone.

“Sorry!” I blurt out and look up and see freaking Camille.

“Quite alright sweetie just…. _watch where you’re going”_ She says it as if it has a secret meaning and I immediately get a bad feeling. Then I see her look at something behind me and I follow her gaze to Hodge that is talking to a teacher with my paper in his hand. I face Camille again and see her smiling proudly before she goes.

I don’t know if it’s because of seeing her or because I’ve calmed down since Hodge talked to me and mind is clearer but holy shit how didn’t I think of this!? It was obviously a mistake but one mistake in one subject is acceptable but every single one of my subjects? Very fucking unlikely. Then there is the way she warned me about things getting worse and she knows better than anyone why my family hates me..

_“Even the girl who got this in her mailbox by mistake was smirking mockingly all because of you!”_

Of course. I was too busy panicking and fainting to think logically. Maybe I should fail all my subjects! Is this what she meant when she basically threatened me or was this just me seeing what she is capable of? Because hell yeah, the thought of her being able to hack into the fucking school system really does scare the shit out of me. What if she can do the same thing when I apply to college or university? Is this what she is trying to say? That she has the power to destroy my future? I don’t know if I’m scared or mad. All this because I was a pain in her ass all those months ago?

Thing is, she is not the _least bit affected_ of what happened after. The thing that destroyed my life and she is not even regretting anything..and I can’t even….even if I wanted to do something I can’t because of the thing she has on her phone and probably backed up and I can’t expose her without pulling myself down with her which I honestly don’t care about but here we come to the source of my problems. If I go down my family goes down. We are all in too deep now so nothing can be exposed. Poor Raj. He got paid to shut up and therefore he’ll also sink down with us.

Isn’t it funny? If I, little nobody, utter one word I’ll ruin myself, my family, Raj, Raj’s family and Camille. I can do nothing. I can only stand there seeing my future fall apart. Simon, Lydia and Clary. What if she goes after them? She has a tendency to go after everything I love. And If I start being close to Magnus he’ll also get hurt. I have to cancel date. I have too. But I just..

“Panda? You okay?” I jump slightly and look up at a concered Simon and I realise I’ve been standing still for a while.

“Yeah I’m good” I manage to say. Then before he starts protesting I change the subject. “Simon I’m cancelling. The date. With Magnus. I can’t”

Simon raises his brows and he has that smile on his face like he is waiting for me to say “I’m just kidding” When that doesn’t happen he gapes and looks around quickly. He takes my arm and drags me to the restroom and checks if someone is there.

“You are so not doing that. I don’t care if you’re sick. I don’t care if it’s your sister’s birthday. I don’t care if you’re dying. You are fucking going cuz I signed up for this. I’m here for this. Malec is gonna happen and you’re gonna blow everyone’s mind and I’m gonna sit and watch in the front seet while you take the throne. I heeeere for this. You are not fucking cancelling. On Saturday we’re going to your place and we’re gonna find something for you to wear. In case of an emergency we go shopping because well..no offence but your clothes consists of grey or black sweatpants/jeans with either a white or black long sleeved sweater. Lets also not forget about the gloves too.”

No. No I can’t do this to Magnus. Please Simon understand. I start to panic.

“Simon. Simon please I don’t wanna go. I’m serious. I will screw it up either way but is it so hard for you to understand that I don’t want to go out with Magnus Bane?” I plead desperately but Simon looks at me blankly and then re-position himself so he looks like he’s thinking.

“You know if you want I can hide in the bushes and observe and text you want to say” For goodness sake Simon! I’m almost hyperventilating right now but Simon takes my hand.

“Simon.” I exclaim desperately.

“Oh hush Panda” When we go out into hallway I see him standing there as gorgeous as ever and my breath gets caught in my throat. He can’t see me but...he’s so hot, kind, helpful, understanding and so perfect. He’s the kind of person who you can call for an emergency any time even if it’s in the middle of the night.  Simon clears his throat and I avert my gaze quickly and he chuckles teasingly making me flush slightly.

“Still don’t wanna go?” I gulp. One date. It won’t hurt right? Plus no one knows about it so how would Camille find out? Although Camille isn’t exactly needed to screw this up because I will take care of that job nicely and I bet Magnus don’t want anything to do with me later. I’m scared of going out with him because of Camille and because this is my first date and I’m uninteresting as fuck and he is Magnus Bane and he’s so fabulous and has so much more experience than me and I know he’ll get bored. But there is this small piece of me that can’t deny my magnetic attraction to him and feel the tiniest bit of anticipation of talking to him again. One date wouln’t hurt right? No one would know. I turn to Simon.

“Only this once” Simon grins.

At the end of the school day I go home to and to my relief no one is home.

Saturday comes and right now I’m stressed as fuck thinking of all the scenarios where I could screw up with the Amazing Magnus Bane. Which is a lot. When I hear Simon ring the doorbell I’m scared of how my parents will react to this visit. I haven’t seen them since the thing that happened thursday. I don’t want Simon to be here but he insisted and now I’m walking up to my front door hoping that this is not me and Simon’s expiration date. I open the door slowly and he walks in. Once I welcome him I feel Simon grabbing my arm and giving me a questionable look. I force a smile that is supposed to tell him that everything is fine.

Then Dad shows up out of nowhere and stares down at me and I shudder remembering what happened two days ago. I wanna shrink under his gaze and run away but I have to pretend everything is fine in front of Simon.

“Got a call from school today..” he snarls and then eyes Simon from top to toe. “Don’t get too close to him kid.” He tells Simon and I wanna cry. We go up to my room and I close the door.

“Um you can leave if you want.”” I murmur knowing that he’ll gladly take the offer.

“Why the hell would I do that? Listen, I don’t understand why your family is so mean to you and I think it has something to do with why you’re always so down and...I hope someday you’ll tell me what’s going on. All I know is that something happened and your family hates you for it but I think there is another side of it all. Because I know you Alec.” I glance up at him with surprise and see his determined face. He is right. There is another side but that side isn’t any better than the revealed one.  

“Wow what is that? You do archery?!!!!!!! So cool!” Simon rushes forward and grabs my bow and I reflexively take it from him. He looks up at me apologetic.

“S-sorry Simon I acted on impulse it’s just that...I love archery. It keeps me grounded. I do it all the time as you can see from the holes here. It’s...the only thing of mine I value” I whisper the last sentence.

“Oh. No I’m sorry I should've asked I kinda get over excited and start ruining things as Raphael puts it. I think it’s so cool. Like extremely cool you have to teach me.” I smile and nod.

Simon starts going through my close and I just stand there recieving and trying on clothes. I firmly state that I want to keep my gloves on and he gets annoyed but eventually settles that I should wear my archery gloves because it’ll look cooler. When we’re done the house is empty. Jace and Izzy doing sleepovers again and my parents working nighttime. We descend the stairs and at the door Simon looks at me.

“Alec can I ask you something?” I nod.

“...Does your parents hit you?” The question knocked the air out of me and I don’t know what to answer and I can feel the nervousness coming. What will Simon do? Call social services or something so they’ll take care of it? I don’t know anything about that. Fear rushes in and I look around and I know soon I will start hyperventilating and tears start to sting my eyes.

“Alec?! Alec calm down” He steps forward totally panicked and hugs me. For once a hug actually does something to me. It calms me but not enough. “ I’m sorry Alec I didn’t mean to...It’s awful..I won’t do anything. You got scared because of that right? I-I won’t. There are no wounds on you so it’s not that extreme so I won’t tell anybody. Do they do it often?”

I shake my head.

“ Good. You can talk to me whenever you want. You can sleep over at my place whenever and how much you want. Everyday even! I’m so sorry Alec. Just know that you can always talk to me about these things okay? Please. Please Panda” I nod and now I’m carefully coming down from my inner war after hearing Simon’s reassuring words. Oh Simon. If you knew would you stay with me? He pulls back and smiles sadly. He has tears in his eyes. How many times haven’t I gotten him to cry? Then I see his eyes widen.

Suddenly I feel a hand press onto my mouth and another one on eyes. I try to break free ad kick the person who is pressing up behind me but no matter what I can’t make him/her loosen his/her hold. Then I feel my body go slack and extreme nausea hit me and everything starts spinning but in a comfortable way. My body is begging for sleep and to just give in but the voices in my head is telling me to stay awake. But those voices are going further and further away until I can’t hear them anymore and I feel the hands covering my eyes going away.

I manage to open my eyes a little bit and see Simon’s lump body before the darkness wash over me.

* * *

_I’m walking through the garden looking around._

_I spot him and walk over._

_-Like the flowers? I ask grinning. He turns around and grins too._

_\- My favorites are the red roses and blue violets. They look so welcoming. When I get married I want red roses and blue violets decorated everywhere! I’m giving this assignment to you Alexander. Don’t screw this up my Best Man._

_We burst out laughing._

_-Maybe a bit too soon to think about weddings? We’re twelve!....You would really like me to be your best man? I ask shyly and he looks at me surprised._

_-Of courseeeee! I’m trying not to take offence. We’re gonna be each other's Best Men! Our wedding is gonna be the same day and we’re gonna dress the same. I’m gonna be with my beautiful bride and you with your hot husband! We gotta find you a handsome one I’m still not giving up on you! Alcy you’re my best man, my best friend, my best everything. We’re even closer than brothers!_

_I smile at him and curse myself for my insecurities over my boring personality._

_-You’re also my best man, my best friend and my best everything._

_Then he turns to me and frowns._

_-You mean I was._

_I look at him confused. What does he mean?_

_-I was but not anymore and you know that more than anyone don’t you Alcy?_

_Then he is covered in blood and I see the ground turning red and I feel drops of liquid landing on me and I look up. To my horror I see it’s raining blood staining my now trembling body. I look back at him panicked and crying while the entire world is turning red but he just shakes his head sadly crying too._

**_-Alcy. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m dead. And it’s all because of you._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops....*Runs away*
> 
> (So sorry if I'm doing something wrong when I describe the panic attacks or the drug's affects in the end)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I don't know how I will write this but I'll try so here goes:  
> IF YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE READING SUCH THINGS AS VIOLENCE, DEATH THREATS ETC. DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER.

“Slap him again. Goodness.”

 

I don’t know who the voice belongs to but I feel a sting on my left cheek and my eyes burst open and I notice that my face is covered in saltwater from the tears and I know I must've been thrashing around. But..as soon as I open my eyes I still can’t _see_ . For a second I panic thinking that I’ve gone blind until I recognise that it’s a blindfold against my eyes and the events that happened on my porch come crashing back down on me. Me talking with Simon. Someone holding and pressing a piece of paper against my mouth. Simon’s limp body before I faint. I got drugged. I got drugged and kidnapped. This is the second time I’ve been drugged and the consequences of it is bad and I’m almost glad this is happening. Maybe someone upstairs is punishing me. Maybe I’m gonna die today and reunite with _him_. I taste inside my mouth. This feels different than the last time. Then again last time I thought it was alcohol. So much for my first drink ever. Ended up with my best friend..not being here anymore.

 

“Stop crying!” A rough voice snap and I realise, although it took some time because she is doing something to make her voice different, that the voice belongs to Camille and I feel my blood freeze. But..if I die now..I don’t really mind. I _want_ to reunite with him. I miss him so much and I’m ready. I want to get my punishment but then I hear a voice beside me cry out full with fear:

 

“Leave him alone!” Simon. Simon!. Simon!!! Now I’m panicking for real and try to move my hand but I’m tied up. My wrists are tied together above my head and my feet are also tied together.

 

“Simon?!” I shout panicked.

 

“Alec?! You okay?!

 

“Simon I’m so sorry!” I cry.

 

“Schh It’s gonna be fine” I can hear how his voice breaks with fear. No. I knew this would happen. I should have stayed away. I should never have gotten friends. I should never have have accepted the date….Magnus! Is he here too?!

 

“S-Simon is it only us?” But before Simon could respond Camille’s voice returns.

 

“Yes it is and you’re far away. No one can help you without us exposing where you are. Which we won’t” I hear her approach and tears are still rolling into the blindfold. I can’t believe I’m doing this to Simon!

 

“You’re his friend huh? I knew another friend of his. Long time ago. Seems like yesterday.” I can hear her beside me speaking to Simon and I want to beg her not to tell him anything.

 

“I wonder if you would still stand up for your precious and _innocent_ Alec if you knew what he did.” I can feel my body tremble and I still try to fight the handcuffs around my hands against the wall even though it’s useless.

 

“I-I will stand up for him no matter what!” Simon’s voice is trembling and Camille chuckles. No Simon. You won’t.

 

“Really now? Even his family hate him now. How can you, after have known him for two months or so be better than them.”

 

“P-please don’t.” I sob faintly and I hear her burst out laughing. But it wasn’t a normal laugh it was an evil laugh that almost creepily resembles Mwahaha and I can’t help but shiver. Then Simon’s determined voice shoots up.

 

“I-I don’t care! I won’t turn my back on him. If his family did I don’t care they obviously didn’t know him like me. I don’t care if he has stolen, robbed a bank, shot someone or sold drugs I will always stand up for him.” I wanna cry he really is close with the two last ones.

 

Camille’s laughter is now echoing which means we’re in a very empty non-furnitured room. So maybe a basement not an abandoned house. Maybe.

 

“You don’t know how close you are but this little thing that you call “friend” here will pay.” Then I feel her steps approaching me and I can feel her face close up on me and her breath is close to my ear.

 

“You have something of mine. Where is it?” She hisses in a whispering tone. What is she talking about?

 

“What?” I ask my voice extremely raspy.

 

“Well maybe you won’t talk right now. But maybe later when I make sure both you _and_ _Simon_ are limping coughing blood” Her words hits me like a bucket of ice cold water.

 

“Please don’t hurt him I don’t know what you’re talking about please please please.” I plead and beg but she silences me with a hard slap.

 

“Don’t touch him!!”I can hear Simon scream and I let out a sob.

 

“What a pathetic sight you are Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Well, until next time when I come in and maybe _then_ , you will co-operate. I will call on them in a minute” Then I hear her footsteps leaving.

 

“Alec?! Are you okay?! Please tell me she didn’t hurt you”

 

“Simon I’m so sorry. So so so so so sorry. Please forgive me please” I sob.

 

“Alec please stop crying. You have nothing to apologise for I’m with you all the way okay? And whatever horrible thing you did you can tell me. I won’t say to anyone and I promise I will not leave you. Is that what you’re scared of? Leaving you? I won’t. And is this why you have been hesitating?”

 

“Wh-what do you mean?”

 

“Everytime I say something about hanging out you get this fear struck face and forced smile. Is it because you knew maybe they would go after me? I don’t care! Is this also why you didn’t wanna date Magnus because frankly I don’t think he cares either. You know, if I could pick one person to be captured with right now it’ll be you Alec. Do you know who this is? The girl?” I hear Simon’s voice is thick with tears now.

 

“Y-yes”

 

“Tell me”

 

“No”

 

“Alec.

 

“Because if we by some chance get out of here Raphael is gonna ask who it was and I don’t want you to lie and either way you’re gonna tell Raphael the truth because you can’t lie to him and I absolutely do not want anyone to know her involvement.”

 

“Why?” Then. “Alec does she have something on you?”

 

“Y-yes”

 

“Then we’ll take care of it”

 

“You can’t it’s impossible even if you tell Raphael. There is no way out of this. Simon please. I’m just so sorry for this. What if we don’t make it out? I wish you could spend your last moments with Raphael now instead of useless me that gets you into trouble”

 

“No Alec! We’re getting out of here! And fine don’t tell me who the girl is but please know that whatever you did you can tell me. I-I wish I could see you right now.” I gulp and I still think something bad is gonna happen here.

 

“I wish you could call Raphael and….omg Simon!”

 

“What?”

 

“Raphael! What time was it when you were leaving my house?14.00?”

 

“Y-Yeah?”

 

“Raphael’s rule. The rule you two have Simon!”

 

“Omg! We must have been out for a long time right? I can’t feel my phone in my pocket but if I don’t answer and my crazy boyfriend tracks us down…”

 

Then we hear a door upon and footsteps coming closer. Then someone takes off my blindfold and I blink away the tears.The room is big and dark. It almost looks like a huge garage and in the middle of it I see Meliotree standing smirking. I look to my side and see Simon’s now also unfolded teary face and he looks at me with panic.

 

“Now let us begin” Meliorn says darkly and through my tears I mouth “I’m sorry” to the trembling Simon and he looks at me scared but a little..determined?

 

The first punch from Aldertree took me by surprise because I had been concentrating on Simon and I cough violently trying to get air in. My old bruises hasn’t healed yet and the pain is unbearable.

 

“STOP IT!” I hear Simon scream and then another punch but this one is not for me but for Simon who yelps and makes a painful sound.

 

“Leave him alone it’s me you want please!” I plead breathless earning another fist.

 

It continued like that for god knows how long. Aldertree beating me and Meliorn beating Simon and at this point I just deserve to die knowing that beside me Simon is getting beat up probably for the first time in his life and it’s my fault. Kind, loving and loyal Simon is getting hurt because of me.

 

They even got in some very few punches in the face and I can feel my lips and nose bleed.

 

*PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

 

Relief wash over me as I hear Simon’s annoying ringtone.

 

“Crush the phone” Aldertree hisses and I glance at Simon panicked. I wish i hadn’t because Simon’s face looks horrible and my heart sinks a thousand miles. I must look as horrible if not more because Simon sobs at me giving me a once over. Then he glances at himself and tries to give me a brave smile. But if they crush the phone…

 

“Are you an idiot? If we crush it the caller will know something's not right and this is supposed to happen discretely and judging by the name of the caller “My love <3<3” it’s his boyfriend. Raphael. You know how he is. He can’t know something is wrong with Simon which he will if we break the phone or don’t answer. We wanna do this under the radar and if you break the phone you really don’t think that his first suspicion won’t be us? So what’s it gonna be Al?”

 

Aldertree walks in front of Simon and to my horror he pulls a gun out and points it against Simon’s head. Simon whimpers and I start fighting uselessly at the cuffs and scream. I feel a really hard sting on my right cheek and I look up shocked at Meliorn who’s holding another gun against me.” I let out a quiet sob and I see Aldertree standing between me and Simon now.

 

“One word from any of you, the other dies.” He points at Simon. “ You’re gonna answer the phone and convince your boyfriend that everything’s alright and keep it casual and realistic and drag it out if you want. If you don’t, your friend dies.” Simon nods desperately and Aldertree turns to me.”She told me by now, you don’t really care if you live or die, though I don’t know why but anyway, if you utter a syllable when Simon’s talking on the phone, Simon dies. And you’re gonna shoot him with your own pathetic handcuffed hands against mine on the trigger. Meliorn will hold you and by now you probably know how strong his grip is so do not. Even. Try. Understood?” I nod frantically not bearing having another friend dying by my hands. I look at Simon who’s trying to even his breathing so he’ll sound normal and Meliorn gives him some water.

 

“I’m sorry..”I whisper faintly and Simon looks at me and again tries to smile and it breaks me how hard he’s trying just for me.

 

Raphael calls a third time and Aldertree answers and presses speaker and him and Meliorn holds the gun closer to our faces.

 

“Simon…..” You can hear Raphael growl in anger and tears rolls down Simon face at the sound of his voice. So close yet so far away. I know how that feels like. To feel so helpless. I see Simon swallow and respond.

 

“Raphael. I’m sorry baby but my phone wasn’t next to me.” Didn’t Magnus say they keep their love under the radar? So why is he calling him Baby? And since when does he call him by his full name?.

 

“Why wasn’t your phone next to you.” Simon looks up panicked at them and Meliorn presses the gun harder at my face and it hurts. Aldertree gives Simon the look that says “Make something up’’.

 

“Because I was on my way to pick up the cake and forgot it. Our cake for our anniversary tomorrow. I picked your favorite. Chocolate nougat. I know you and Magnus adore it.” Nononono! Simon no! What are you doing?! I don’t even know if this is smart or stupid but the outcome won’t be good if Raphael doesn’t cooperate right now! Simon continues.

 

“Unfortunately I can’t pick it up babe but can you and Magnus do it? But please hurry up before the store closes honey. I’m with Alec and I just twisted my ankle so I can’t move. Sorry I didn’t answer your call my love.”

 

“Me and Magnus will pick it up right away take care of your ankle mi carino.” Simon gulps and more tears are coming down but his voices manages to stay normal.

 

“I love you Raphael” And my heart breaks. You’re such a monster Alec.

 

“I love you too my Simon” Aldertree ends the call.

 

“Well wasn’t that cute” he comments and Simon looks at him in anger.

 

“Disgusting. Come on man we gotta fix our alibi and I need more of that thing you gave me. Gives me the best rush”

Aldertree smirks and he and Meliorn walk out.

 

“Omg Simon I’m so sorry this is happening everything is my fault!” I sob and Simon shakes his head.

 

“Alec stop it right now. I’m with you all the way. I’m glad I’m here with you I can’t bear the thought that you’d be here alone. But don’t worry Raph and Magnus will come. They’re so stupid that they didn’t figure out the meaning of what I was saying but I knew that they’re high and I took advantage of that”

 

“ What did all that mean? I know they hate chocolate nougat and that it’s not your anniversary” Simon nods.

 

“When I told him to come with Magnus to pick up the cake and that I can’t move because of my twisted ankle and that you're with me I meant: Please come and save us take Magnus with you and hurry up because I’m tied up so I can’t move and Alec is also with me” I duck my head.

 

“ I don’t deserve you Simon. If only you knew..”

 

“Make me know! I’m so tired of seeing my probably best friends to-be depressed, beat up in school, beat up at home, beat up psychologically and now kidnapped. Whatever it is I will always stand by you and I won’t utter a word. Even to Raphael. I can’t lie if he doesn’t know right? And before you say that you don’t wanna be the cause of us fighting but well if that bitch has something on you and that’s why you can’t tell me, Raphael will understand that I can’t either. But at least we’re two in this Alec. You can’t judge how I will react if you don’t tell me and I can make a freaking blood oath if you want. I just promise..so much please believe me.” I look down not being able to meet his eyes.

 

Simon’s about to open his mouth again when Aldertree and Meliorn are back.

 

“ Aww they’re crying…” Aldertree’s smug face appears in front of me and I look away. “Don’t be so embarrasseeed!” Then he turns to Meliorn.

 

“When will she be back?”

 

“I don’t know but she said to keep them alive.” So the gun thing was an empty threat?!

 

“But she didn’t say in what shape did she?”

 

“No..what do you have in mind Al?”

 

“I’m just saying we have Simon Lewis, Raphael’s Santiago’s boyfriend and therefore “The Unapproachable One” and we have the new kid Alec Lightwood that the school’s king has taking an unnaturally strong liking to. We have them right in front of us Meliorn.” He goes to Simon and lifts his chin up. “The little princess to the prince and..” He comes to me and caresses my cheek and I flinch away.”  the queen to the king. We have them under our mercy and we’re just standing here beating them up?”

 

“What do you have in mind?” Meliorn repeats and I look at Simon panicked for the millionth time because no, this can’t be happening to us. Aldertree eyes us and licks his lips.

 

“They have nice bodies..how about we have a taste?” Aldertree says and I shiver disgusted and panicked and all kinds of emotions are running through me because no, the same thing that almost happened to Jace can’t happen to me. And Simon…

 

“Start with me!” I blurt out because Simon is in this mess because of me and I’m gonna do everything to not let anything happen to him.

 

“Alec no..” Simon says determined but the other two just laugh at this.

 

“What makes you think you have a choice? We’re gonna take you both at the same time. Very hard and we’re gonna enjoy when you scream each other's names.” Then Meliorn turns to Simon. “ Or when you scream Raphael’s name. But it shouldn’t hurt that much for you, you’re already used to it aren’t you?”

 

For some reason I find myself thinking of Magnus. I may or may not have had a dream about me and him..together. Maybe it happened more than once. I wonder will he accept me after this? If he knows will he still look at me the same? First the blood I already have on my hands and then my now dirty body. My body will be full of impurities. How will I even look at myself in the mirror. How will Magnus look at me? Will he throw me away like all the other girls? But I don’t want to. I want those unknown eyes to look into my blue ones intensely like he does every time. I wanna hear his calming voice as he tells me to breath. I wanna see him smile and oddly enough..I wanna be the reason for that smile. Now I know that I’m far too gone with Magnus. Beyond saving.

 

I wanna hear him call me flower again..

 

Aldertree lifts up my shirt exposing some of my chest and I shiver at the sudden cold. He makes a disgusting face and glances back at Meliorn.

 

“We did a good job didn’t we Mel?” Meliorn smirks and nods in agreement. Then Meliorn lifts up Simon’s shirt.

 

“Clean like a baby now but tomorrow he’ll be the same state as Alec after all the beatings so we better enjoy your skin now before that.” Simon tries to pull away from the touch and I feel something hard punching me in the gut and shocked I feel it’s like time stops for a second and I’m completely breathless at the force. I release breath and I barely inhale. I fight to breath as I hear Simon screaming.

 

“You see that’s what it’ll happen if you don’t behave Lewis. Same goes for you Lightwood” Meliorn snaps.

 

Aldertree come closer to me and I feel his breath against my ear.

 

“I’m gonna enjoy this. Do you really think Magnus will come even close to someone like you after this? I’m gonna enjoy this thoroughly.”

 

My breathing comes out short as I feel tears rolling down. I feel Aldertree touching my chest then going lower, lower, lower and lower and I’m full on sobbing. It’s like I’ve lost all sense of reality. I can’t hear, I can’t see, I can’t speak, I can’t move and I can’t breath. The only thing I can do is feel. Feel Aldertree’s hands going lower unbuckling my belt then going lower. I’m not aware of anything anymore.

 

At this moment I’m glad Jace was drunk and not aware of what was happening even though I stopped it before it went further. But being full on conscious and knowing is a feeling that is indescribable. You read about on the internet, you talk about it in school, with your parents but when it actually happens it’s something else entirely.

 

Beside me I distinctly hear Simon scream and some other noises but I’m too busy crying and staring blankly ahead to register that. All I can think about is that _finally_ I’m getting my punishment and maybe watching the same thing happen to Simon is also apart of it. Knowing everything is my fault. But why?! Simon doesn’t deserve this! Why?!

 

I’m too busy in my own whirl of thoughts to even notice Aldertree’s missing hand. I feel a pressure disappear from my wrists and my legs and my crying mess of a body fall forward. I feel strong arms catching and holding me bridal style and the warmth I’m embraced with is everything I can ever ask for. Such warm and fuzzy comfortable arms I could stay in them forever and fall asleep. I’m slowly going down the path of sleep because in this person’s arms I feel how exhausted I am from the beatings, the crying, the screaming and from the fear. Then I feel someone stroking my face.

  
“Schh it’s okay. I’m here now. I’m here love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it.
> 
> I'm so sorry but I know I usually post mondays, thursdays and saturdays but I won't be able to post this saturday and next monday because I'm going to Paris for four days. Therefore next chapter will be up next week on thursday and as an apology next chapter you'll know what happened that night:) Sorry!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is at last! Sorry for any mistakes.  
> Okay I suck at giving out warnings:  
> (DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THINGS LIKE DRUGS, DEATH AND RAPE)  
> I hope that was good..

I slowly open my eyes and find myself covered in a blanket with someone next to me. I’m in a car with people.

 

“So the fuckers were going to  _ rape  _ you huh?” Raphael.Did he save us?

 

“I should have fucking killed them or done something worse” Magnus. Is he also here? Murder, Rape. Those two words implies so much that it hurts just to think about them. But now when they’re said out loud I can’t help but think back to that horrible day where everything went downhill..

 

* * *

_ -Nice party huh? _

_ -Yeah Raj, pretty nice.., I say although I’m beyond bored. _

_ -Hey, isn’t that your brother’s ex? I freeze and turn around _ _ and  _ _ see Camille’s smug face. And..aren’t those cuffs? I get a bad feeling and start to follow her but Raj stops me and insist on me having a drink. I st _ _ an _ _ d there a good five minutes telling him. “no”.  _

_ I walk down the hallway and open room after room looking for Jace. When I try to open one room the door is locked. Before I turn away I hear Jace’s drunk voice: _

_ -Stawppp. Down’t wannaaa. _

_ -Of course you want to darling now keep your hands still so I can tie you up. I freeze at her voice and quickly start to bang on the door. Then push hard and start throwing myself at the door. Luckily the door isn’t that thick and gives in. I burst into the room and to my horror I see Jace laying down hands tied, shirtless and slurring nonsense. Camille is straddling him with only her bra with her hands on Jace’s pants. _

 

_ -GET OUT!, I scream and she curses and goes away quickly and I rush over to Jace. I untie him and ask if he’s okay but as soon as I pose the question he passes out. I cover him with  _ _ a  _ _ blanket and walk out taking in the realisation that I just stopped my brother from getting raped. I hurry down and try to find Camille. I don’t wanna let that cheating bitch out of my sight.  _

 

_ -Alecccc! I turn around and find a drunk Izzy. Another one? _

_ -Aleeeec you have to try this drink it’s delicioussssss and come on you’re fifteeeeeen! You don’t wanna know what I was doing at your age... _

 

_ No and I don’t want to know. Like Raj she tries to persuade me to drink and eventually I think what the hell. Everyone here is drinking and I just stopped my brother from getting raped by his Jace-obsessed cheating bitch ex-girlfriend. Maybe I could use it? People do drink their troubles away… _

 

_ I carefully take a sip and..it’s fucking disgusting and feels..weird. Like an unfamiliar taste….well I guess this is the alcohol everyone has tried to make me drink. Disappointing and horrifying. Meanwhile Izzy is whistling. _

_ -By the way he is out back in the balcony if you wanna tell your best friend you just had your first drink eveeer. _

 

_ I smile and go out to the b _ _ alcony  _ _ wondering why the hell he is in the back of the house. I open the doors to the balcony and find him standing there kissing two girls at the same time. I make a disgusted face and he opens one eye and sees me. He breaks the kiss and smiles at them. _

 

_ -Sorry girls but my best friend needs me and he’s more important. Out. _

 

_ They walk away while glaring at me and I walk up to him and notice immediately that he is so fucking drunk. He can barely stand and I grab him before he falls. When I do I feel a bit groggy myself and I wonder if it’s because of the alcohol. For a second everything spins and then goes back to normal. _

 

_ -Alcy guess what? I just landed a threeway. You should join us sometime and make it  _ _ a  _ _ foursome. _

 

_ -First of all ewwww you really are drunk and second of all I just stopped Camille from raping Jace and third of all I just had my first drink. _

 

_ He gapes at me and looks me over. _

 

_ -Who are you and what have you done to my Alcy? And what? Camille? _

 

_ -Yeah I walked in on them and I’ve been trying to find her bec _ _ ause I don’t want anything more to happen. I have no idea what to do should I tell him?  _ _ Have you seen her? _

 

_ -No..That bitch. I wanna fucking kill her for touching Jace. Alcy? Are you okay? _

 

_ I start to stumble on my legs and my head is spinning and suddenly I see my best friend four times. I feel him grab me and my head hurts so much.  _

 

_ -How many drinks did you have? _

 

_ -One _

 

_ -How many fingers am I holding up? _

 

_ -Dunno. Maybe thirty? _

 

_ -Hello boys _

 

_ Even like this I immediately recognise her voice and I can feel his hands tighten. Camille. _

 

_ -Back away bitch. _

_ I can feel he’s a he _ _ artbeat  _ _ away from hitting her. _

 

_ -Oh alec..so helpless now..finally now that you’re not a pain in my ass anymore I can have my way with Jace. You  _ _ always step in my way and I’ve had enough. _

 

_ Wait. Did she drug me? Then I feel her hands on me but her voice is going further away. _

 

_ -And maybe I’ll take you next sweetie. _

 

_ -You stay the fuck away from him. _

 

_ I can see her reach for him and I push her away. Or I push something away. I hear her yelp and I push again but this time the body I touch feels different. I hear someone stumble and a sound I know comes from whenever he falls and I instinctively rush forward and try to grab something.  _ _ Anything.  _ _ I feel something hard close in my hand and I don’t know what I grabbed but I do know th _ _ at  _ _ I’m gonna hold on as long as it takes. _

 

_ -Alec help me! _

 

_ -He can’t help you. _

 

_ -NO I won’t let go! _

 

_ No one can see us here. we’re in the back. I can’t shout for help because nobody will hear over the music I can feel myself getting he _ _ avier _ _ and he _ _ avier _ _ and my body just wants to let go and my grip falters a little but he holds my hand tighter. My best friend’s life is in my hands and I wanna sleep. No. I have to fight. _

_ I hear Camille chuckle. _

 

_ -It’s not a matter whether or not you want to sweetheart. You simply can’t. _

 

* * *

“ Alexander. Alexander!!”

I tr ash my legs around in the car hitting every spot I can trying desperately to grab something. To grab him and keep him from falling. I don’t stop until I feel someone embrace me tightly and the same warmth from before is going through me.

I slowly open my puffy eyes and stare right into another pair of worried eyes who has a mix of colors in them. Magnus.

 

“M-Magnus?” My breath is shaking and Magnus smiles gently.

 

“It’s me my flower” He slowly picks me up bridal style again and takes me into a huge house or mansion. He saved us. Magnus saved us..my eyes shoot up.

 

“Magnus where is Simon? Is he okay?”

 

“Schh he’s with Raphael upstairs. Don’t talk now. First you need a shower. I’ll prepare a bath for you” We walk into a massive room that consists of deep gold and silver colors and a lot of modern expensive furniture with a king sized waterbed on the other side of the room. He sets me down on a cushion and goes into one of the three doors in this massive he avely decorated  room. I look down at my hands and I see how scratched and bruised they are from the cuffs. 

 

After a minute Magnus comes out and carries me to the bathroom  a nd I have to admit that although people touching me is my least favorite thing but with Magnus it gives me a sense of security. And although I will never say it out loud I kind of..like being in this man’s arms. But I don’t wanna be a pain in the ass and mumble:

 

“Thank you but I can walk by myself”

Magnus looks at me with a soft unsure smile.

 

“I know. But I like you like this. Me holding you assures me that you're safe.” I gulp and blush looking away. I hear him chuckle and he lets me down onto the bathroom floor and..is that a..Jacuzzi?!I mean..my family is rich in all but this is taking it to a whole other level. I feel so dirty being in here. Everything is so clean and gold and shiny (just like Magnus) and..I’m not. Before I can say something Magnus speaks up:

 

“Put your clothes through the hole in the wall it’ll go through the pipes in the house and land in the laundry basket.” When I stare at him wide-eyed you can see he tries hard to bite back a laugh and he adds:” Don’t worry your clothes are just gonna take a journey through the pipes and land in a basket. See it as they’re taking a slide in the playground and the pipes are the slide!” It’s not that I don’t understand what he is saying it’s just..what the hell? These kinds of things exist?

 

Magnus puts a hand on my shoulder and I look up nervously:

 

“My bathroom is all yours Flower” he declares and winks. Then he is out before I can process what he just said. This is his bathroom? I’m using his bathroom? Again I find myself pushing away all thoughts of Magnus naked and start to undress instead. Then I groan out loud and almost fall to my knees because of the pain. And when did it start to hurt when I breathe? I look down on the catastrophe that is my chest. Oh no..did they break a rib? Or more? Of course they did. I try to continue to move the shirt up my head and wince trying no to panic that I have broken ribs . 

 

When I’m undressed I step into the glorious bathtub. It is only then everything comes back to me. I got kidnapped. Simon got kidnapped because of me. We got beat up and..we almost got raped. I feel extremely guilty and I’m ready to get the hell out of these wonderful people that are Magnus, Raphael and Simon’s lives forever. 

 

Good thing Lydia and Clary didn’t get involved but there is just one thing that is not right here..C amille  said: “You have something that belongs to me” But I don’t? What do I have? Nothing. I am nothing. I stare down at the water and for a second, just for a second I consider the scenario of me drowning myself. My family would be thrilled. My friends would be safe and..my crush would also be safe. But they don’t deserve it. I do but not them. My family don’t deserve the satisfaction. After everything Simon has gone through for me I can’t just leave him like this. And Magnus..what would he feel?

 

I finish my bath  and  carefully stand up shallowly. It hurts to breath as I pull on one of the two bathrobes that are hanging by the door. I exit the bathroom and on the bed I see clothes. I move closer and on top of the grey pij amas sweatpants and white thick hoodie there is a red flower. I smile and blush despite myself and try to pull the clothes on. 

 

I move and stand in front of a giant body length mirror and stare at myself and almost burst out laughing. Broken underlip, a bit swollen but very red cheeks, messy wet hair, sweatpants I have to pull up with my hands like a dress if I’m able to walk and a hoodie where the sleeves are dangling some decimeters from my arms. I look oversized and broken. But Simon. I have to find him.

 

I exit the room and descend the stairs whispering his name.

 

“Alec? Alec?!” In front of me Simon rushes forward looking the same as me but minus the oversized part. I look away ashamed. Simon stands in front of me and then hugs me and I wince crying out.

 

“Oh sorry!!” Simon looks at me worried and I manage to breathe out:

 

“I think ,my ribs are broken. Or I don’t know” 

 

“What?! I don’t..well it did look like they hit you harder than me. Way harder. That bitch. Alec you need to go to a hospital now!”

 

I shake my head frantically.

 

“No hospital. Parents will know. Can’t happen..sorry Simon”

 

Simon shakes his determinedly and looks  at  me sharply.

 

“If you say sorry one more time I’ll get mad. I’m glad I was with you. What if you went through all of this alone huh? Then I wouldn’t have known what was going on with you which I do now even if it’s not all of it. And. Don’t you dare. Start avoiding me. Listen. I’m not giving up. We’re solving this. She h as something on you? Got it. But the way she was talking? It was like  _ you _ have something on  _ her _ because she said and I quote: you have something that belongs me. Where is it?” What does that sound like to you? You have something she wants and if we find out what it is then we can..I don’t know...trade? If it’s information she has on you we can make her sign a contract or something? I think she will agree on that because whatever it is she thinks you have on her she risked going in for drugs, kidnapping, abuse and rape and we need to find out what the hell it is. But first I need a name. Who the fuck is the bitch?”

 

I only stare at Simon and realise he’s right. For a moment I imagine a life without Camille blackmailing me from telling the truth. and maybe, just maybe my family will stop hating me and maybe my future won’t be ruined. But it’s too risky.

 

“Simon no. I can’t get you involved anymore. By the way where is Raphael and Magnus?” Suddenly aware that none of them are here. Simon sighs.

 

“ I want to be involved and I don’t know I’ve been trying to call Raphy but he’s not answering. Our boyfriends just went out saying they’ll be back.” I blush and look away.

 

“Um..we’re not..I mean..there is no...uh we’re not a couple” Simon raises his brows and looks at me skeptically.

 

“Whatever that makes you sleep at night Panda. But alec. Don’t avoid the subject at hand now.” I sigh and look down.

 

“Simon..” Then we hear a door open and then we see Magnus and Raphael show up and my heart sinks. Simon inhales sharply and rushes to his boyfriend not caring and kissing him all over. Raphael has a swollen eye and cheeks and there is hint of a previous nosebleed. But I’m only looking at Magnus that has a broken lip and one cut at his right cheek and he too has a hint of a previous nosebleed. I don’t care that I should be ashamed because I caused this or that I should stay away from them and instead I walk up to the beautiful glittery man and cup his face with my hands with teary eyes.

 

“W-why? Why did you do it?”

 

Magnus looks down  at me and sighs.

 

“Trust me the other two look way worse.”

 

Then Raphael angrily speaks up.

 

“Yeah imagine their face but with a bit of a redecoration with a lot of red colour. Probably broken noses and jaws. Probably won’t be able to walk for a long time. Hopefully a broken rib or two. Or five.”

 

“They got away with it once the same thing is not happening again. Don’t worry about the police they won’t say anything unless they’re ready to confess everything they have done.”

 

I’m still staring at Magnus and speak up voice we ak. .

 

“I didn’t want you getting hurt. None of you. Why Magnus?”

 

Magnus now just gazes into my blue eyes with a predatory look and I’m ready to back away but I can’t stop staring into those beautiful eyes that traps my soul in. Now he looks really predatory and I’m about to move when he leans down and presses his lips against mine so softly but yet so hungrily. I’m first surprised but then I begin to move my lips and oh god he is good. Even if his lip is bleeding it doesn’t taste weird because now I understand why  all the girls and guys want him. He is amazing. I can’t help but shiver at the sensation of Magnus’s lips and it’s not until now I know that I need this. Magnus kissing me makes me forget everything and my lips tingles. 

 

Now I know that when people or movies/series say that when you kiss someone you have feelings for you’ll see fireworks is total bullshit. You don’t fucking  _ see _ the fireworks you  _ feel _ them. My entire body is one big firework that is about to explode.

 

Meanwhile I try to move my lips in synch with him pretending I know what I’m doing although I don’t know what I’m doing. am I supposed to go up? Down? Maybe sideways?And what the hell am I supposed to do with my head? I stick with following Magnus lead until we bre a k apart both needing air and I look up at him flushed heart thumping and breathless. I don’t think I ever could have imagined a better first kiss.

 

“That's why” Magnus says and then swings his head sideways and kisses my hand and I realise I still have my hands on either side of his cheeks and I quickly take them away and look down at my feet embarrassed beyond belief. Then I hear someone whistle and meet Simon’s eyes that’s winking at me while still clinging to Raphael who just rolls his eyes muttering an audible: “fucking finally”. Now I’m even more embarrassed because although the kiss was so great and I’m still dazed by it I’m pretty sure Magnus just had the worst kiss of his life. Then I feel someone put their hand on my hot cheek and I shyly look up and meet Magnus’s beautiful eyes.

 

“Why are you breathing weirdly flower?” Oh. Oh shit.I hear him curse.

“Of course they did” Then he looks at me and he looks really pissed but not at me. “I’m sorry Alexander” then he carefully presses a hand on my ribcage earning a highly audible whimper from me and I step away automatically. Then Magnus approaches me and lifts me up again for the thousandth time and sets me on the couch in the living room all the while cursing. He leaves and comes back with ice and lifts up my shirt and I expect him to do a disgusting face and pull away so I turn my head not wanting to see his re action . To my surprise I feel a hand caressing my bruises and I shiver and look up to find a hurt expression on his face. 

 

“We’ll have to put some cream on this flower” He whispers and then I feel Ice connecting with my skin and my body arch at the sudden cold. “Sorry. I need you to inhale sharply every now and then although I know it’ll hurt but it’ll help.” I nod and see Simon treating Raphael on the other couch still clinging to him and I clear my throat.

 

“Raphael?” He looks up at me. “Umm, I understand if you don’t want me to have anything to do with Simon..I’m so sorry for getting him hurt and I know I shouldn’t be involved with you guys anymore..”

 

Simon had been all over Raphael this whole time but now he stands up crosses his arms across his chest and looks at Raphael sternly like he is giving him  a warning. Or at least he tried to. Raphael looks at him for a moment and then sighs.

 

“Dios..look Alec. I don’t like that you keep on putting my boyfriend in danger and neither that you’re not telling us the cause of it. I don’t like that you’re so close now and people can use him to get back at whatever you think you did. I don’t like that you’re in Simon’s life. But...what I  _ don’t _ dislike is  _ you _ . For once I actually like one of Simon’s friends. And the rest of his friends are two girls because no one else dares to approach him which is because of me and I’m not exactly complaining. But..he can’t relate to them and I’ve noticed that it makes him a bit sad that he doesn’t have anyone to talk to (other than me) that understands because he doesn’t have any brothers either and his father is not..available. He always rants about how much you appreciate and accept him and that you don’t get bored of him like others and that he thinks you’re so cute and yada yada yada. You make him happy. So I need you to tell me about the blackmail so we can fix this.” I’m stunned at the words that I’m hearing because I didn’t think Raphael can talk like this. Simon had slowly let his gaze down at the mention of his dead father but now he is staring at his boyfriend with so much love he could have tattooed the word on his forehead.

 

I pause.

 

“Fix the blackmail?” This time Magnus  answers .

 

“Yes darling, Simon told us (he had to). Part of the reason why we didn’t call the police. If we did you would have gotten into trouble with whoever that has something on you because you ratted them out and...the other reason is because we wanted to beat the living crap out of them and make them the walking dead(which I took great satisfaction doing). Like I s aid, they won't dare turn us in because then they would bring themselves down for kidnapping, abusing, attempted rape, misuse of drugs, doing drugs, to even own a gun..should I continue?  What we want from you now is two things. A name and what whoever has on you so we can fix it because this is getting out of hand.”

 

Fear shoots through me because what am I supposed to do? I can’t tell them because then I’d have to tell the story because what she has is the reason why I can’t forget that night because she has physical, perfectly edited, proof of it all recorded vividly with pictures and probably backed up somewhere. And I just can’t let them know what happened. They would hate me just like I hate myself..

 

“N-no” I let out with a shaky breath. But Simon got beat up and almost raped because of me and they surely can’t accept my answer without a reason so I go with the truth because I trust them. But not enough to tell them everything. “I’m sorry but I can’t take that risk. If what she has gets out it’ll destroy 9 lives” I explain thinking about Camille, Raj, Raj’s parents, my parents and my siblings and me. How much prison time for covering up a body and withholding information and helping? A body that hasn’t been found yet and made the person’s parents kill themselves. Three death. Two suicides and one murder. One body that’s still missing and buried somewhere.

 

“So it’s a she?” Magnus asks and I realise Simon didn’t tell them that detail. “9 lives? So it’s that bad huh..But considering what Simon told us you have something on her too?”

 

“I have no idea but it seems like..she wanted something from me but I have no idea what.” I answer earnestly and Raphael speaks up.  

 

“Well you need to find out what it is so you can use it and bring her down. In the meantime..I can’t keep you and Simon away from each other but we’re not letting you two go alone. Magnus’s mum will be home in a couple of hours and my house doesn’t work but Simon’s family is in Florida now so you can stay at his house.” I’m trying not to note that he knows that I don’t wanna go home but I guess from the way they’ve seen how my sibling are tow ards me it's not th at  hard to see that I don’t exactly have it comfortable at home. But still I want to object but Simon beats me to it:

 

“WOHOOOOOOO!!!!!” He cheers jumping and then: “OWWWWW FUCK!” He screams as he cups his chest in pain and I look down in shame and Raphael facepalms.

 

“Me and Raphael won't say anything to anyone. We'll have to stay at Simon’s for like a week so nobody sees our state at home cz I’ll will never hear the end of it with mum.” Magnus states.

 

“Dios if Mama sees me I think I’m gonna consider going deaf intentionally. Anyway no words to the rest of our group and no words to Clary and Lydia. In the meantime Alec, figure out what you have on this bitch and Simon, try not to do something stupid even if I’m there one can never know with you and….Alec?” He looks me over skeptically. “You look totally and utterly ridiculous.” Then everybody start laughing and I awkwardly look down at my..Magnus’s clothes that’s at least 2 sizes bigger and probably more. Then Magnus caresses my cheek and smiles. 

 

“Don’t mock my princess..” He says and I blush making him chuckle. Then Simon st ands up looking annoyed .

 

“Um. Hello? Excuse your royal ass but Raphyy is the prince making  _ me  _ the princess not Alec. Panda is your queen I thought we already sorted this out!” I laugh despite myself with the others at Simon’s angry outburst and Raphael puts one arm over Simon.

 

“Dios love, you whine exactly like a princess.” Simon smiles and kisses Raphael’s cheeks lingering a little on the bruised one and I smile.

 

“There is that smile again that drives me crazy.” I look up at Magnus embarrassed and I remember. Hooooolyyy shittttt we kissed. I kissed my crush. My crush kissed me. Does this mean he is interested in me..? But how? I’m nobody whereas he is...everybody and everything. But I have to know what's happening between us now.

 

“Uhh..I mean..I get if you regret what happened moments ago..totally understand..you know..you probably don’t want me close after hearing the thing about the nine lives...and..” Then I felt his lips on mine again turning me several degrees hotter and making me shiver. He pulls away.

 

“Shut up Alexander. We know each other after starbucks and I think over the past weeks we’ve been getting closer and finding out things about each other. We kissed. You clearly like me and I like you. A lot. I think you’re adorable, cute, kind, selfless, sympathetic, loyal, trustworthy and just beautiful, darling. Starbucks was the first time we seriously talked. I would like to make that our first date. Would you like that too?” 

 

I blinked and after all those compliments it took me a moment to take in that Magnus is asking if we can become...wait is this real? But he’s never been in a relationship before but Simon did say.. can I hope for this? He knows the risks for being with me and despite all that he w ants to be with me? . I’m lost. What if he gets hurt? But I doubt anyone can hurt Magnus Bane. I close my eyes and do what I always do when I’m lost. I think of him. What would he say to me. Almost immediately his voice fills my mind.

 

_ -Alcy listen. Don’t let your father destroy you. The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go. And you need to let him go. Alexander, everything happens for a reason. If something bad happens maybe it’s because later on it will lead to something beautiful. You deserve to be happy and have a life you’re excited about. Don’t let others make you forget that because no matter what happens, you deserve happiness. No matter any inconvenience that happen because of you, you’ll always deserve to be happy. _

 

_ I remember how he put his hands on either side of my shoulders and looking into my crying blue eyes. _

 

_ -Choose people who choose you. _

 

I open my eyes holding back the tears and look up at Magnus who probably thinks I’m totally weird by now. But I’m only met with a worried expression and I’m filled with a sudden urge to remove that expression otherwise I wouldn’t dare to do what I’m about to do. I smile slightly and take his hand from my chest and kiss it. I whisper into his palm while gazing into his eyes:

 

**“I would love to be your queen”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to go through this properly so I'm sorry if something is really weird. I'm not that satisfied with this chapter but well..I hope you enjoyed it:)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes:)

I stare as Magnus and Raphael goes up to take a shower. Wow. I have a boyfriend. And it’s Magnus Bane.I try to slowly take in that realisation but Simon destroys my faze speaking the words out loud:

 

“Duuuuuuudeeeeeee! Bitcchhhhh!!! You just got a boyfriend. You just got Magnus Bane! Dude. If I were you I would tattoo that on my face for all to see!”

 

I smile slightly at his enthusiasm but I have to get one thing done first.

 

“Simon can I borrow your phone to call my house?”

 

“They took my phone remember? Use Raph’s.” He gives me Raphael’s phone and I dial the number taking a deep breath.

 

“Hello?” Jace. Well that’s still better than Dad.

 

“Hey Jace it’s me Alec. Listen can you tell mum and dad I’m staying over at Simon’s house for a while? His family is in Florida and he doesn’t wanna be alone.” I lie.

 

“Alec?” Jace answers seconds before I hear my dad’s voice asking who is on the other end and I hear Jace explaining what I just told him. “Alec? You’re so screwed man.”

 

Then I hear dad’s barking voice:

 

“ALEC GIDEON LIGHTWOOD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WE CAN’T EVEN TRUST YOU WITH STAYING HOME ALONE?! NO. NO WE CAN’T. YOU JUST GO AND DISAPPEAR WITHOUT EVEN LOCKING THE HOUSE! WHAT IF SOMEONE ROBBED US HUH?! AND NOW YOU CALL LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED ASKING TO STAY OVER AT SOME PERSON’S HOUSE?! YOU COME HOME RIGHT NOW AND I’LL SHOW YOU…” I hear someone take the phone before he can finish the sentence and by now my composure in front of Simon is slowly faltering.

 

They weren’t even worried that something might've happened to me? They really think I just disappeared? Since when do I do something so irresponsible? And the fact that they’re only hearing from me at 11 o'clock?

“Alec?” Mum. “Stay over at that friend’s house you shouldn’t come home when you’re father’s like this.” Then she says something that’s barely audible but I still catch it. “We don’t want another murder on our hands.” Then she hangs up and I feel an arm on my shoulders.

 

“Alec are you okay man?” I swallow containing myself and nod faintly. Simon is about to say something when Raphael’s phone goes off. I look at the screen: Clary Fray.

 

“Clary has Raphael’s number?” I ask confused not taking Raphael as the social type.

 

“Yeah. Once I broke my phone and I was hanging out with Clary and I needed to call him for something.”

 

I take another breath wondering what she could possibly want and answer pressing speaker.

 

“Uh Hey Raphael ! Well it’s me Clary..Me and Lydia are just wondering if Simon’s with you because..well..we’ve been trying to reach him?” Clary sounds nervous and really, who can blame her?

 

“It’s me Clare. What’s up?” Kudos to Simon’s everything-is-fine-we-didn’t-just-get-kidnapped non-faltering voice.

 

“Oh thank god it’s you Simon! Have you heard from Alec?”

 

“Right here.” I answer clearing my throat.

 

“Oh. Wait what are you two doing together right now? And with Raphael’s phone?” Me and Simon look at each together. Oops…

 

I lock eyes with Simon panicked and start: Well..um I was on that date right? So..” I urge Simon to take over.

 

“Well..Alec was so nervous that I convinced Raphael that we join them making it a double date..and..it’s over now and I drove Alec home…” Then he urges me to continue and I add lamely:

 

“We’re at my house right now and Simon asked Raphael if he could borrow his phone in the meantime because Simon lost his and...mine is dead..”

 

“Oh Simon...idiot....but oohhhhhhh how did the date goooo?!” Clary asks.

 

We take one look at one another and reply at the same time:

 

“It was a very unforgettable night.”

 

“Ohhh I want to hear all about it laterrr! Anyway. Lydia has been contacting our year to announce that we don’t have school on monday because we’re mourning Aline and her funeral is gonna be on that day. I miss her so much even if she was only a receptionist. She always fixed my tardy’s. She was so young too! 20 or something. You know, I heard she applied to Harvard and came in! Why would she commit suicide? Anyway are you coming?”

 

It took me a moment to remember that Lydia’s the class president and that’s her job when Magnus and Raphael walks in. That was a quick shower. Then I see Magnus. Without his make-up and it’s so natural...How can someone be so beautiful? He winks at me and I realise I’ve been staring and quickly look away. Simon clears his throat stifling his laughter. Raphael’s about to say something when Simon puts his finger over his mouth, mouthing:scchh..

 

“Um no I don’t think we can make it.” Simon answers.

 

“Why?” She asks sounding shocked and Simon glances at me gesturing for me to make something up.

 

“Uhh well..you know Hodge’s project? Well we kinda haven’t started yet so..we need to do that..” It’s not totally a lie and Simon gives me a thumbs up.

 

“Oh yeah that. Well you’re idiots..” Then there’s a pause. “Alec? There is something I’ve been wanting to tell you and this isn’t exactly the best way to do that but it’s now or never. You know your brother? Well..we’ve been kinda talking...kinda texting...kinda meeting up...kinda starting to date..?”

 

I sigh. Well fuck…but I kinda did anticipate it.

 

“And let me guess Lydia is seeing my sister?” I ask although I already know the answer.

 

“Yeah..she wanted to tell you herself though..but is it okay?” I sigh again.

 

“Clary, who you pick to date is none of my business.” I reply none too harshly because the line I just gave Clary is something I just wish everyone could understand. Then Simon speaks up.

 

“You have horrible taste in men…”

 

“Wha??? Look who’s talking you’re boyfriend scares the shit out of like...everyone!” She counters and It’s my turn to stifle my laughter because Raphael is standing right there.

 

“Umm that doesn’t mean he’s bad! That everybody find him scary is their problem not his. And not mine either!” He fires back defending his boyfriend.

 

“Well yeah he is really hot…” She says and now I interrupt before she says something Raphael shouldn’t hear.

 

“Maybe we can talk about something else than how hot Raphael is?”

 

“Sure why not? We can talk about how hot _Magnus_ is! Damn that guy he’s really drop dead gorgeous. It’s hilarious every time I catch you checking him out because it looks like you’re on the verge of swooning!” Clary mocks. Why did I open my mouth? Beside me Simon is laughing his ass off and I specifically avoid glancing up at Magnus.

 

“Okay Clary you want something more?!” I ask wanting to hang up.

 

“Awww Pandaaaaa has a cruuush!!!” She sings baby-like causing Simon to laugh even more and I grab the phone from the table.

 

“Goodbye!” I hang up with burning cheeks.

 

“OMG embarrassing as fuck like he’s standing right there!!!” Simon laughs and I stand up quickly wincing a bit.

 

“I need to go to the bathroom.”I lie and rush out of there still avoiding Magnus gaze.

 

Just when I am about to open the door to the bathroom, I feel someone grab my arm, twirl me around and push me causing me to go into somebody’s chest. The movement wasn’t harsh but it still caused me some pain and I whimper slightly. I look up and meet those dazzling eyes and my breath hitch. Magnus regards me with an amused expression our bodies still flushed together making me blush even more and my heart explode. He bends down reaching my ear.

 

“For the record darling, I think you’re drop dead gorgeous as well. Much prettier than your supposedly sexy older siblings. I think I prefer the shy youngest instead.” He whispers and kisses my cheek making me shiver slightly. He pulls back with one hand around my waist and the other still on my arm that’s now resting against his chest close to his heart. He locks eyes with me and I open my mouth trying to say something.

 

“Hmm? I didn’t quite get that sweetness.” He says. I lick my lips and try again.

 

“I think you have enchanting eyes” I whisper before being able to stop myself.  He gives me a bright smile and cups my cheek.

 

“I don’t get that very often. People think they’re strange or weird” Then he looks me over searching my face like he’s trying to find something. “What you don’t realise is that your eyes enchant me just like my eyes enchants you. That deep blue color..it’s dazzling. “ My face burns even more at the compliment and I look down for a moment. “ And of course..those tomato cheeks will never seize to amuse me. Absolutely adorable I just wanna pinch them.”

 

“..Stop…” I whisper not being used to compliments at all sense Jace and Izzy are always the center of attention.

 

“Why darling? You deserve to..”

 

“Magnus?” Raphael interrupt and I jump surprised. “ Your mum texted. She is coming home in like half an hour we should get going.”

 

Magnus takes my hand and I hear him whisper to himself: “Cockblocked again..” And I smile remembering how Jace walked in on us.

“Lets go my flower.” We walk back to the living room holding hands and I’m met with Simon’s smug face his eyes zooming in on our hands. I look away embarrassed. I’ve never done anything like this before. Before we step out the front door Magnus stops.

 

“Shit how could I forget. Broken ribs.” And then he picks me up and starts walking towards the car. I yelp trying to get away causing myself more pain.

 

“Stop struggling it’ll only hurt darling.” Magnus states and I hear Simon giggle behind me. Magnus opens the car door and sets me inside like I’m 3 years old.    

 

We drive to Simon’s house and I struggle to stay awake because I’m so goddamn tired. Suddenly I feel something heavy on my shoulder and I find Simon already asleep on me. I smile a little and rest my head on Simon.

* * *

 

I wake up to a sound of a camera snapping and I feel movement on my stiff shoulder. I see Simon getting out of the car rubbing his eyes and I do the same. Bending to get out of the car is painful and Magnus helps. Still holding my hand Magnus holds up his phone in front of Simon and Raphael.

 

“Aren’t they adorable?!” I step around and take a look at the screen. There, is a picture of me and Simon sleeping on each other and I hear Simon squeal.

 

“Omg so cuteeee! That's gonna be my new phone background! Not my fault Rapha doesn’t let me have a picture of him!” He reaches down onto his pocket probably looking for his phone. He pauses and sighs. “..As soon as I get a new phone that is...”

 

We all roll our eyes and start walking towards Simon’s house.

 

“Hey Magnus! Aren’t you going to carry Alec?” Simon asks teasingly. I don’t wanna say it out loud so I try to tell him with my eyes: Fuck you....

 

Magnus turns around and with one quick movement sweeps into his arms and Simon giggles and I just lay there avoiding everyone’s gazes. There is no use fighting it.

 

“Disgusting..” Raphael mutters and Simon quirks a brow.

 

“Really now? Because it’s not like we haven’t done….”He starts sarcastically but stops himself when Raphael gives him a look of warning. I smile and I hear Magnus laugh.

 

“No need to hide it Raphael we all know how much you _spoil_ Simon..” Magnus teases and Raphael snaps his head towards him.

 

“Cállate por favor, and just stick with your blue-eyed boy.”

 

“Trust me I will” Magnus winks at me and I look away while Simon giggles even more. Traitor...

 

Once inside Magnus finally sets me down on the couch and disappears into the kitchen. Simon’s house is not like Magnus’s. It’s you know...normal just like mine and I feel less anxious here. Magnus comes back with ice gesturing for me to lay down carefully.

 

“Remember what I told you before?”

 

“Yup. Inhale sharply once in awhile, keep the ice on my chest and rest”

 

He ruffles my hair and smiles down at me. “Good boy” He laughs playfully and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling. “It shouldn’t be more than one broken rib. Maximum two otherwise it would have hurt way more. It’ll take maybe six weeks to heal properly.” He gives me another ice pack that he puts on my bruises and I hiss at the cold. “Keep the ice there for 10 minutes and then remove it for 20  and re-apply.” I nod shakily. “Simon!!??” He calls and he actually uses his real name.

 

Simon’s head pops out behind the kitchen door. “You don’t have to scream I’m next door!”

 

Magnus just rolls his eyes. “Do you have Arnica cream or something?”

Simon pauses thinking. “Yeah I think mum just bought some cz y'know I have very sensitive skin and…”

 

“I don’t care just go get me the cream!”

 

“Okay okay..Jesus Christ….” Simon mumbles and walks away.

 

Now Raphael pops up and looks at me.

 

“What did the redhead want?”

 

“Oh yeah..we don’t have school on monday because it’s Aline’s funeral..”

 

“Did you two say anything about tonight?”

 

“No..” I answer at the same time as Simon shows up with a bottle of cream.

 

“Here ya go!”

 

Raphael is still regarding me.

 

“Por favor..Simon go get him some clothes I can’t look at him when’s he’s an oversized mess!” I had completely forgotten that I’m still wearing Magnus’s clothes.

 

Simon and Magnus stare at Raphael and they reply at the same time: “No! Shut up!”

 

Simon comes over to me and lifts the sleeve of my hoodie (more like a dress and not a hoodie) making my arm follow the motion.

 

“He looks like an oversized bear! Super cozy! He’s not changing clothes.” Simon states determined and Magnus hums in agreement. Raphael shakes his head and facepalms probably not understanding these idiotas.

 

“Where is the guest room now again?” Magnus asks lifting his arms preparing to carry me. I put my hand on his chest to stop him.

 

“Um I actually prefer the couch. They’re always cozier than beds.” I admit shyly and it’s the truth. Whenever I can’t sleep I move to the mini- couch in my bedroom.

 

Magnus regards me for a bit and then nods.

 

“Okay then, Magnus and Raphael take the guest room, I take my room and Alec, I’m gonna go fetch some blankets for you.” Simon declares.

 

“Thank you” I say but before Simon goes Raphael grabs him with a frown and asks:

 

“Why am I sleeping in the guest room?” I put a hand over my mouth to cover my full-on grin while Simon is shifting from one foot to another, a bad habit I also have.

 

“Um where do you wanna sleep?” Simon asks not meeting his gaze but Raphael doesn’t answer and instead moves past Simon heading for the stairs.

 

“I hope your room is clean for once..” He says before he disappears. Simon turns red and mumbles something about blankets and hurries out of here.

 

“Okay….” Magnus starts and then we both laugh. Simon is back with blankets and then disappears again up to his room.

 

Magnus takes on the mission to tuck me in and I just lay there feeling like a baby.

 

“Hmm..I wonder if Simon has earplugs…”

 

“Why?” I ask and Magnus smirks.

 

“Maybe we’ll need them tonight.” He gestures upstairs with his hand. It takes me a moment but then I get it and I even start blushing earning a laugh from Magnus.

 

 

“You really are innocent, darling…..Lets see if we can change that…” He teases making me even more red trying to push away any pictures that shouldn’t exist in my mind. Magnus smirks and hands me the cream. “Apply this before you go to sleep.”

 

I nod still not looking at him. Then I feel his lips on that place that connects the jaw and the cheek. What is it with Magnus and his touches that sends electricity through my body? The kiss lingers a bit before he pulls away.

 

“Good night, Buttercup.” I close my eyes and smile.

 

“Good night, Sparkles.” I hear a soft laugh before it’s quiet and I open my eyes starting to feel his absence.

 

I quickly apply the cream and then snuggle into the blankets. I inhale sharply, feeling the pain from doing so, and then exhale. I close my eyes and feel the exhaustion wash over me and I drift off.

 

For once I don’t dream about something that should be in a horror movie but instead of Magnus’s eyes. They’re shifting. One second they’re normal brown but in the next they’re gold with slit pupils like a cat's. They just keep on flicking back and forth.

Something that looks like blue and orange..mist?..is radiating from his hands and there's something behind him that can be described as a black hole but instead of it being black it's purple. Then it turns blue. Then orange. Shifting like his eyes. A mystery indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed some fluff:D  
> Spanish translation:  
> Callate por favor: Shut up please.  
> (When I use Spanish in this story it's straight from google translate, sorry if something turns out to be incorrect but I take French not Spanish:))
> 
> So this chapter was more like a..filler? I realised I had momentarily forgotten about Clace and....are Lydia and Izzy= Lizzy?  
> Next chapter will contain more of the plot because if I had continued this chapter it would have gotten way too long. So yeah this is a filler.
> 
> Also, just to clear the air, Raj is not Alec's dead friend. It was his party but he's not Alec's best friend. I will reveal the name shortly (If you haven't figured it out yet<3)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! (Kinda nervous about posting this. It didn't really turn out the way I wanted)  
> Sorry for any errors:)

I open my eyes slowly and feel myself sweating as hell. I push the blanket off of me but it’s still not enough and I groan.

 

“Ohhh you’re finally awakeeee!! Ah shit that looks warm as hell..Although you’re super cute in Magnus clothes I’m gonna go get you something else to wear.” Simon sprints off before I can even say good morning. He comes back with clothes stuffed in his hand.

 

“There ya go! Magnus and Raphy is out getting us something to eat. You slept for a really long time!” He hands me the clothes. I take a look at the shorts and the T-shirt feeling a bit uncomfortable. “Something wrong Panda?”

 

“Uhh..do you have something long sleeved? And I don’t feel that comfortable showing off my legs. If thats okay?” I say knowing that I can be honest Simon. Magnus’s oversized shirt did a good job of hiding the scars on my hands from shooting arrows gloveless.

 

Simon nods and takes back the clothes. He comes back a moment later with really thin sweatpants and a Star Wars sweater that will be just a little big on me. I thank him and go change. Thankfully I’m able to hide my hands inside the sleeves and I step out.

 

“Looking good!” Simon comments and I give him a small smile. Simon starts shifting from one foot to another his eyes investigating the room.

 

“What is it Simon? Spit it out.”

 

“Wha..how did you know I wanted to say something?”

 

“Because I also have that bad habit that whenever I wanna say something but I’m too nervous to do so I shift my feet and start biting my lip. It’s rather annoying.”

 

“Right?! Well good to know..but I just wanted to..” He steps closer and brings his gaze up to meet mine. “I want to help you. I wanna find out what that girl thinks you have and I wanna help you out from whatever mess you’ve gotten yourself into. I don’t wanna back away and frankly, you’re not the one to decide whether or not I will hate you or leave you. Also it’s not your decision to make to keep me out of this because of my own safety. It’s mine. And I’m saying I want to help you so let me do that.”

 

I sigh "Simon I appreciate it but I..I just don’t want..I..”

 

“What Alec?! You don’t want what? What are you so afraid of?!”

 

“For you to disappear…” I whisper. There is a pause before Simon breaks it.

 

“Why? Did someone disappear from you? And is that what you blame yourself for? Alec please talk to me..”

 

A loud bang breaks the conversation and we turn around and see Magnus and Raphael emerging. Both of them put bags on the kitchen counter and they both look worse than yesterday but not by much. I’m guessing Aldertree and Meliorn didn’t get in many hits since both Raphael and Magnus only have a bit swollen cheeks, a visible broken lip and then Magnus’s cut is starting to heal. The cut is really not that big only 3 cm long.

 

“Morning flower.” Magnus greets and I smile nodding. Then he brings some sorta star wars baggy cushion to the table and puts his hands in front of it like he’s presenting a project. “Broken ribs first” I laugh and sit down comfortably and he goes to fetch me some ice giving me a kiss on the cheek first.

 

Everybody settles around the table and Raphael starts to unpack what he and Magnus bought.

 

“So..butter,toast, cheese, disgusting nutella, cornflakes, milk and this roundish jar that is called..” He pauses and turns the jaw over and reads: “Honey. Whatever that is”

 

Magnus laughs. “Raphael if someone hears you they’re gonna think you’ve never been fed in your entire life.”

 

“I just hate breakfast but my idiotic boyfriend can’t live the day without it.” Simon smiles and kisses his boyfriend’s cheek sweetly. Raphael actually smiles a bit and I clear my throat making everyone turn to me. Ashamed I scratch the back of my head.

 

“I really appreciate that you went out of your way to get this but I’m like Raphael I don’t really..eat breakfast.”

 

Simon frowns as he begins to pour milk in a bowl. “So you don’t eat lunch since you never go with us to the cafeteria and now you don’t eat breakfast either and you’re super thin. I don’t think so. You’re eating.”

 

I’m about to protest before a piece of bread is shoved into my mouth. I remove it and cough out some bits.

 

“Either you’re eating or I’m shoving food down your throat. Got it?” Magnus says sternly and I nod. “And keep putting ice on your ribs like I said yesterday.” He adds and I nod again.

 

After we’re down with breakfast we watch some TV which resulted in me falling asleep on Magnus’s shoulder him caressing my hair. The day went by pretty fast because we actually spent the time to do Hodge’s big as project until It’s monday and we get a call from Clary. Raphael mutters something as he approaches me and Simon both of us focused on the game of cards.

 

“Your stupid friend with the carrot hair wants something. Tell her to say everything she wants to say now. I don’t wanna be bothered by her annoying voice again.” Simon tries to give Raphael a glare and then takes the phone pressing speaker.

 

“Hi Clare. Alec’s also here. He’s staying over and Raphael went by the house.” He says already ready with an excuse.

 

“Sounds fun! Okay before your boyfriend gets pissed I got us all tickets!”

 

“Tickets to what?” We ask at the same time.

 

“To the Star Wars thing that’s opening this winter! You know the one you’ve been talking about for like a year Simon!!” Simon drops his cards and I glance down at them. Thank god he would have totally won…

 

Somewhere in the background I hear Magnus and Raphael mutter: Oh no..

 

“Cl-Cla-Cla-Cla-Cla-Cla-CLARISSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!” Simon screams and starts jumping with the phone. “How did you get them. How?! Where?! Who?! When?! HOWWWW?!!!!!”

 

“Well you know my brother's gonna work there and he got free tickets and I told him to get four of them. You, me, Alec and Lydia. We would have given it Jace and Izzy and gone on a double if you weren’t crazy about that place.”

 

“Omg Claryyyy! That place is expensive as fuck!! Thank Jonathan from me! But when are we going?”

 

“Saturday. Are you in?”

 

“Hell yeaaaaaahhh!!!! And Alec too! I’m gonna drag him with me!” Clary laughs and ends the call. Simon gives the phone to Raphael and crosses his arms. “I’m gonna hate you if you don’t let me go. I’m not even gonna listen to you. I’m going even if I have to jump from a window.”

 

Magnus smiles: “Let the boy go Raphael you can’t keep him locked up.”

 

Raphael frowns

 

“I wish I could…” Then he looks up at Simon and me. “Fine. But we’re coming with you. Not risking another catastrophe.”

 

“Wohoooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! But wait. You know they’re really expensive right? The tickets.” Simon asks.

 

Magnus smirks

“Have you met me? They’re really cheap for me.” I roll my eyes and stand up to get a glass of water.

 

In the kitchen I suddenly feel someone's arms circling around my waist and I look up and see Magnus hugging me from behind. His lips touch my ear and he nibbles my earlobe spreading warmth throughout my body.

 

“Saturday. No running. No riding rollercoasters or other rides and no jumping. What you’re allowed to do is walk. Understand?” He whispers and I nod. “Good” He turns my head around and kisses me on the lips. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good at this but I completely melt down into him and I’m thankful he’s holding me. We stand there for I don’t know how long until someone clears their throat. We turn around and find Simon shifting from one foot to another.

 

“Um..the project Hodge gave us? We still have like a lot left...so..”

 

Magnus sighs.

“Cockblocked part 3. I swear to god if people don’t stop I’m gonna take this pretty boy to a room, lock the door and have three guards outside.” I blush furiously at his words and he glances at me. The corner of his mouth tilts up and he looks at me amused. 

“Ops. Did I say that out loud?”  I nod super embarrassed and he smirks. “So when are we gonna have our second date? Hopefully without the..you know...me saving you all the time part.” He teases and I gape at him.

 

“That’s not fair! First time you weren’t meant to show up in the restroom! And the second time..!” Then he doesn’t the thing where he puts his finger on my lips shutting me up.

 

“Whatever you say flower. Now go do your homework.” I glare at him. He snorts and pulls me in for another quick kiss that has me melting again. He releases me and I almost stumble towards a grinning Simon.

 

“Oh and Alexander?” I turn around finding him holding a glass of water. “I think you forgot your water darling” He winks and I rush forward taking the glass before I flee the room with Simon behind me.

 

Simon sighs staring up at the ceiling of his room. “I ship it so muchhh. Malec…”

 

“Could you shut up so we can continue?”

 

“Okay okay. I’m just saying if you ever need some advice about certain _things_..you know I’m also dating a guy so if you wanna ask something…”

 

My face turn beet red and I throw a pillow at his face the motion causing me some pain but I don’t care. Simon laughs.

 

“I’m just saying! When you reach the point in your relationship where you do _certain things_ you can always..” Another pillow hits his face. “Or if you wanna know when is the right time to _you know”_ Another pillow crashes into him. “Hey! I’m trying to be a good friend here?!” Now a blanket comes flying onto him and he struggles to get out making me laugh painfully. When he finally wrestles his way out of it he huffs and I laugh at his messy hair.

 

“Can we continue Hodge’s suicidal assignment now?” I ask.

 

“I could teach you about another assignment that involves a certain hot M and a gorgeous A and a handsome G and a sexy N and a breathtaking U and a unique S if you want so..”

 

“THAT’S IT!” I cry and stand up ready to fling myself at him when I hear someone clear their throat. In the doorway Raphael is standing without us having heard the door open. He eyes us like we’ve just grown five heads and blinks.

 

“So...I’m just gonna go and pretend I didn’t hear this conversation and have some of that disgusting Nutella that you people call chocolate and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get so disgusted that something else than this conversation is filling up my mind. Adios.” Before he goes we hear him whisper something that sounds like: “Qué demonios did I just hear?”

 

Finally Simon breaks the silence.

“So. How long do you think he’s been standing there?”

 

“Dunno but enough.” Then we both burst out laughing.

 

* * *

Monday isn’t that different. I’m almost done with my essay whereas Simon has a bit left. Magnus and Raphael aren’t here because apparently they both have a part time job. Magnus usually works Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays but since he’s not gonna be able to come in on Saturday because of the Star Wars thing he’s working extra today. I’m grateful that me and Simon have shitload things to do so we don’t have to resume the previous conversation all over again.

 

Tuesday morning I wake up feeling something on my face. Something that’s tickling me from my forehead down to my cheeks, over my mouth and when it reaches my nose I push my face away from the touch. When I  hear someone laughing quietly I open my eyes. I sneak a look at my side and see Magnus’s smiling face close to mine his hand hovering above my face with a feather in it. He leans down and gives my a kiss making me smile shyly.

 

“Wake up sleeping beauty. School day..” At the mention of school the smile fades away from my face and I look for my phone but remember that it was taken.

 

“What time is it Magnus?”

 

“Seven.”

 

“SEVEN? We start in half an hour!?”

 

“Yes so?” I remember that I’m dating probably the most rich and carefree human being I’ve ever met and slowly try to scramble myself out of bed.

 

“Magnus I know you have money. I also have money. Plenty of it. But that doesn’t mean I can ditch school. Maybe some day the money will be gone and what are you gonna say?: I thought it would last forever so I ditched high school and never bothered to get a job? Or what if you wanna move? Become independent and live for yourself? Or pay for your wife/husband and kids? What are you gonna do? Ask Mommy and Daddy for money?”

It came out harsher than I intended it to but this is a very sensitive subject for me since my parents basically left me after finding out that I’m gay. It was different when they found out about Izzy being bisexual because she's a girl but I'm the only guy in the family (that's blood related) to take over their company and I was expected to not humiliate the family like Izzy. At least for Izzy there was hope for her to end up with a guy. Although mum still stuck with me but after what happened to my best friend she too closed of and I realised that if I wanna live I have to do it without help and by working hard by myself.

 

I look up at Magnus's frowning face ashamed of myself. “I’m sorry Magnus…”

 

He looks up and his frown deepens.

“For what? You’re right. You didn’t say anything wrong darling and I’m sorry if I made it seem that I don’t care about my future because I have plenty of money because I do. I do care.” Something painful flashes through his features and I step closer and slowly get down onto my knees in front of him. “When I was 13 years old my father was in an accident. He was left in a coma for one year and a half. The money came from dad and my mum was worried we would lose everything especially since the hospital fee was expensive. I started working extra and I learned that like you said, it can all go away just like that. Just because you have money doesn’t mean you can slack of. We’re good now but I still don’t want to quit my job. When my father woke up he didn’t remember me or my mother. He still doesn’t.” I feel tears tingle at the corner of my eyes and I lean forward giving him a hug. I take in his smell that’s mostly Simon’s shampoo and bury my face in the crook of his neck.

 

“I’m so sorry” I mumble my voice muffled.

 

Magnus sighs sadly.

 

“Point is Alexander, most people with a lot of money don’t realise this until they are put in a position where they can lose everything. My father went into a coma. What happened to you?”

 

My hold around him tightens. I killed my best friend and I got blackmailed to keep quiet unless I do want everything to be taken away from me.

 

“And for the record I do have straight A’s.” I can’t help but smile at that and Magnus pulls me away and cups my face with both hands. He’s about to lean in when Simon sprints in.

 

“Alec get ready we’re starting in like 25 minutes and...oh. Ops” He quickly  rushes out of here and I quickly pull back awkwardly and rub my eyes.

 

Magnus looks clearly annoyed. “Cockblocked part 4 it never seems to end and now the moment is forever ruined.” I smile and he grabs my arm.

 

“Alexander. Talk to me whenever you’re ready. I won’t say anything. I won’t judge.” I nod and hurry up to get ready.

 

It was rather a struggle to find something that isn’t related to Star Wars in Simon’s wardrobe but eventually I came to school with black jeans and a green sweater. I actually think I’m starting to like green. Our first class is Hodge so no pressure of coming late. According to the schedule we start 7.30 but according to Hodge we start in the earliest at 7.45.

 

Before we walk into the classroom Magnus nudges me.

 

“Take it easy today. No sudden moves; you’re injured.” I nod and sit down beside Lydia and that’s when I remember, I’m injured! Lydia voicing the thought out loud yelps.

 

“Omg Alec you’re injure! Broken lip and is your cheek a bit yellowish bluish? And Simon? And what the hell happened to Raphael and Magnus? Alec answer me?!”

 

“Well..uh..um” Where is Simon when I need him? “Well the date? Me and Simon almost got mugged and..we kinda got hit and that’s when Magnus and Raphael came in beating down the guys. It’s nothing really” I lie but it’s still close to the truth. She shakes her head.

 

“What do you two always get into? But you’re okay right?” Wow she actually believed it. Sometimes Lydia can be a bit oblivious. I nod at her question and she smiles a bit. “So apart from the horrible beginning how was the date?

 

I sigh but still smile.

 

“We kissed..more than once..”

 

By now Lydia is sounding like a fangirl.

 

“Omggggg?! Really? And what more? I mean like, what’s your relationship? Where do you stand?”

 

I bite my lip and play with my english book.

 

“We’re dating. We..he’s..I’m..He’s my boyfriend..and I’m his.” It feels strange saying it out loud yet it sounds so right.

 

“Wait what? You do know he has never been in a real relationship? Like, did he say the word boyfriend?”

 

My eyes widen in surprise because no he did not?! I just assumed? I mean...shit..what if he didn’t mean it that way? But he kissed me? He said he likes me? But what if he wants to be...I don’t know..friends with benefits or something? Am I overthinking this?

 

I’m just about to ask Lydia what this mess means when Hodge walks in. Man, his timing sucks!

 

“Good Morning class! Or maybe it’s not that good it’s rather dark considering what I’m just about to tell you. I promised you that as soon as I get more information I wouldn’t hide things from you. Well, you all know about Aline right? Same day she died was the day some of our cameras broke down so we couldn’t see her..commit the suicide. Cause of death? She slit her wrists.” The entire classroom goes quiet and everyone just stares down at their desks. The picture of Aline with slit wrists is doing no good to my mind right now.

 

“Jeez Hodge, when we asked for info we didn’t need to hear this..” Lydia whispers to me and I nod.

 

Hodge continues after a moment of silence.

 

“Furthermore, your classmates Aldertree and Meliorn? They both have been hospitalised. They were involved with some gang or something. It doesn’t look good for them but they’re far from dying. ..almost.” I freeze and turn towards where they usually sit. I hadn’t noticed that they weren’t here. I turn towards Magnus and he gives me a reassuring smile. Raphael is only sitting there looking like death cracking his knuckles. I turn around again and listen to the rest of the lesson although I don’t really pay attention.

 

When class is over Simon and I meet and we both start to rant all at once.

 

“Shit..I mean..oh my god..can you believe that?..Hospitalised..didn’t they overdo it?..No I don’t think so..But still Simon!..Alec you know what they did..But can’t Raphael and Magnus get caught?...Alec calm down I think they took care of it….” Then Simon jumps into another subject.

 

“Hey? Don’t you think it’s weird? The Aline thing? She got into _Harvard!_ I’m guessing she was working here so she could get the university money but why did she kill herself?”

 

“I don’t know..”

 

“And don’t you think it’s weird that the cameras like..glitched or something at the same day? That’s not a coincidence.”

 

“I don’t believe in coincidences either but maybe she did it? I mean if I committed suicide I wouldn’t exactly want anyone to see..”

 

Simon sighs and shrugs.

 

“I don’t know..it’s just...weird..she was such a sunshine..Like all the employees here are depressing except for her. But I dunno..”

 

* * *

On wednesday I’m getting more and more nervous about my relationship with Magnus. Are we in a relationship? We haven’t talked since tuesday morning because as soon as I get to Simon’s place I study and fall asleep. Furthermore I haven’t seen Camille around either which is both a relief and terrifying.

 

On Thursday I’ve had enough. While Lydia and Clary is still, after 3 days, trying to get information about our date that didn’t actually happen I decide that I need to talk to Magnus. We’ve all been going with the: me -and-Simon-almost-got-mugged story and there were some suspicious looks from Group S but eventually they stopped asking. My ribs are healing but it still hurts.

Suddenly I see him appear as glorious as ever with his group and I start walking down the hallway determined as fuck. Except I didn’t make it that far until someone knocks me down sending my thin body sprawling on the floor. Why does it always have to be me?

 

A boy looks up at me furious and starts shouting.

 

“You’re that new kid aren’t you?!” Will I ever stop being the new kid? I pull myself up in a sitting position and give the boy his books. He yanks them away from me. “Watch where you’re going newbie!”

 

“Is there a problem here?” I turn and see Magnus behind me this time _he’s_ looking like death. The boy’s face pales. By now everyone in the hallway has stopped talking only paying attention to us.

 

“N-no. I was just walking and this guy walks into me making me late for class..” He stutters. Magnus raises his eyebrows.

 

“Well, my boyfriend wasn’t the one staring at his phone walking 100m/s.” I can feel my face heat up at the word. Boyfriend. Well, at least we got that cleared? Meanwhile the boy is just confused as fuck.

 

“Who?”

 

“Are you dumb? My boyfriend. Alexander. _The newbie_ as you seem to like calling him. The guy _you_ just knocked down.” Across the hallway gasps can be heard and a lot of phones coming up. Magnus continues. “ Do you have amnesia? Would explain why you’re running this way instead of heading the way you’re supposed to which is the other way. We have biology in the A building not the C building.”

 

The guy looks like he prefers being in hell than standing here. He glances up at me nervously.

 

“Listen man..I’m so sorry.. I really didn’t know you’re his boyfriend! N-Not that it would have changed anything! Okay uhh... I’m gonna be late!” He runs off after that. He runs off in the wrong direction again.

 

“And what are you still doing on the floor?” I quickly pull myself up and face Magnus.

 

“You know the entire hallway is whispering right?” I tell him. This is the last chance for him to say that he lied to just keep the guy off of me. Last chance to back down and leave me but instead Magnus turns up the volume of his voice.

 

“Let them.” He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. “Hey everybody! This guy is my boyfriend. End of story.” Then he leans forward and kisses me and like always I'm not aware of anything except for his touch. He pulls back smirking down at my red appearance. But still I can’t help but feel happy that he actually announced it. And that he’s actually proud of it. Magnus starts frowning at everyone in the hallway. “I know we’re both hot but show’s over. Stop gawking and get to class.” Immediately everyone gets their books and the hallway's starts moving. Magnus winks at me, kisses my hand and returns to his group.

 

Meanwhile I’m just standing there like: what the fuck just happened?

 

“Wow. Did that just happen?” Lydia appears beside me.

 

“It did.” Clary responds. “Congrats our Alec boy!” I roll my eyes and Simon flings his arm over my shoulder.

 

“That double date is soooo happening..”

 

“Oh the Malec and Saphael double date you’ve been dreaming of?” Clary asks.

 

Simon glares at her.

 

“Yes. And Clace and Lizzy are not invited!”

I frown

“ _Clace_ and _Lizzy?_ Simon what the fuck do you make up all the time?” Simon shrugs.

“I’m just saying. Sorry I know that they’re your siblings but sassy girl and blondie are strictly prohibited from our dates. They would ruin the mood. Anyway gotta get to class!” I roll my eyes again and we separate.

 

* * *

Friday afternoon I close my locker and Izzy pops up out of nowhere making me jump.

 

“Wtf Alec?! I mean if you’re dating the Magnus Bane I expect for you to tell me like right away!” She says clearly annoyed. I shrug and go past her.

 

“You aren’t exactly welcoming Izzy.”

 

“ _I’m_ not welcoming? I can’t help it if you don’t talk to me! It’s not like I haven’t tried but you refuse especially after…” I fling around facing her.

 

“Do not say his name!” I snap. Izzy takes a deep breath and looks at me.

 

“Alec since that night I’ve been trying to repeatedly make you talk. I’ve tried being there for you but you just don’t budge. Maybe because you did it? I just need you tell me. Did you kill him?” She whispers the last part and my eyes shoot up to meet hers.

 

“Izzy there is no use telling you anything. You’ve already made up your mind! And really? You’ve tried being there for me? When dad was going to hit me you _really_   tried! Wait what was it again?:  _He’s not worth it._ Thanks for the support.”

 

“It’s because you’re not telling me anything! Both me and Jace have tried! You know how much we love you!”

 

“Love me? You mean you _loved_ me,you barely care now! You can’t even walk past me without giving me the evil glare! Especially Jace! Or don’t you remember when he embarrassed me in front of my friends? You two haven’t even gotten an explanation of what happened that day you just assumed! If this is the definition of love according to you two then hell, I feel sorry for Clary and Lydia! Stay away Izzy.” I snap before I rush out of here but before I turn around the corner I glance back at her.

 

I see her looking down at her heels frowning, thinking about something before she turns around and walk away. We used to be so close Izzy. Why didn’t you give me the benefit of the doubt? You and Jace.

 

I quickly get to class and Lydia asks if something is wrong. I shake my head no and concentrate on not being nervous because me and Simon are presenting that stupid project soon.

 

* * *

We walk out of the classroom in silence.

As usual Simon is the first to break it.

 

“That went....”

 

“ to fucking hell?” I fill in because it did. The entire presentation went to hell. The projector didn’t wanna start and whenever it did and me and Simon mustered up the courage to talk, it shut down again. And again. And again. Until we moved to another classroom and by then we had already used up all the courage we had in store for the day.

 

“Yeah..lets go home and grab some icecream.” I nod and we grab our stuff from the locker relieved that the day is finally over.

 

* * *

On saturday Simon is all over the place with things he wants to wear and bring.  Raphael rushed out of the house in the morning saying he needed to go to the coffee shop. That was ten hours ago. Now I get why. Hell, I don’t wanna be here.

 

Magnus is still working the afternoon shift because one of the workers called in sick and he volunteered. He should be here soon. I hope.

 

“ALECCCC!!” I sigh asking what it is now. “Omg we’re going soooon!! Have you seen my Darth Vader shirt???”

 

I frown at him.

“You’re wearing one.”

 

“Noooo! This one is different from the one I’m looking for! The other one is like more blackish but still bluish!” How can something be both black and blue? I don’t understand colors…

 

When it’s finally eight o’clock we’re ready to go. Magnus and Raphael are on their way there but we’re driving to pick up Clary and Lydia with Simon's car. I sit in the passenger seat still 15 years old so I can’t drive although I learned how to before my older siblings.

 

“Okay so it’s left here…” Simon murmurs and we enter Clary’s block where we’ll meet them up. Simon is not a terrible driver but he’s also not the best. We spot an orange dot.

 

“Yup I can see her hair even from this distance. Now it’s only straight.” He declares.

 

“Yeah you should slow down now.” I mumble as I stare at the houses lining up from the window.

 

“Alec what the fuck?” I spin around and see him trying to push the brakes.

 

“What’s wrong Simon?”

 

“I can’t slow down!” Then we hear a *ping* from the car console and I spot a phone. My phone. I pick it up.

 

**Unknown:**

**You didn’t want to give it to me which means I’ll just have to get rid of the witnesses. Meaning you two. Say Hi to your best friend from me Alec / XOXO CB**

 

I read the message out loud without thinking and I instantly go pale.

 

Simon looks at the road in horror.

 

“Is that from the bitch that’s behind all of this?!”

 

I swallow.

“She’s a-a hacker. Sh-She hacked into the school system and changed my grades!” I say quickly.

 

“Alec hacking into the school system is one thing and a fucking car is another! She would had to hack into the main frame and have like wireless access and shit!!! ALEC I CAN’T STOP THE CAR!!”

 

I quickly take off both our belts.

“WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE SIMON! JUMP!”

 

The last things I hear before I open the door and jump is Clary’s screaming.

* * *

Everything hurts. I can’t breath. My chest is sending waterfalls of pain that’s spreading all across my body. I try to pull myself off the ground not succeeding. Panting I look over my shoulder. I feel something dripping over my face but I don’t care. In front of me I see Clary shaking over a limp body screaming holding a phone. Said body is not moving. The person has blond hair. Lydia. I ignore the pain and scramble myself up on my feet but quickly fall down again not being able to breath. I feel someone helping me up and we walk together towards the body. As I take in the bloody sight in front of me I fall onto my knees crying and the arms around me start to shake and let go of me. I grasp Lydia’s unmoving hand not letting go. I can hear her struggle to breath while her eyes are wide open. I see Clary doing something but I don’t know what while crying frantically on the phone.

 

I hear sirens and a car stopping beside us. People are rushing out but I’m not aware of them all I’m aware of is Lydia. Someone tries to take her away from me but I hold on harder. I’m not letting go. Not this time. I let go of him but I won’t let go of her.

 

All the while I continue sobbing her name together with someone beside me that I’m guessing is Simon. I think someone is trying to talk to me but I don’t care. I have to hold on. I feel someone take me from behind and yank my hand away carrying me. I know that warmth. Magnus. I must’ve been knocked out if they all had the time to get here. Simon’s sobbing is getting further away but I just, _need to hold on_. They take her away from me and I keep on screaming her name. Until I’m a sobbing mess and only one name comes out of me in a whisper:

 

“Sebastian. Please don’t go. I’m sorry. Don’t leave me. Sebastian..” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translation  
> Qué demonios= What the hell. (I hope it means "what the hell")  
> Welcome to the story Sebastian!
> 
> So I wanted to describe Lydia more vivdly (I would love to do that) but I'm afraid that I'll overdo it and you all will think: Shouldn't she be dead?
> 
> I hope you enyojed the chapter! I made it especially long (this is basically two chapters in one) since I won't be able to update on thursday because I have 4 essays due this week. Furthermore, I want to give you something well written because next chapter is an important one;) See you all Saturday!


	17. The Story

I blink and stare up at the white ceiling. I move to my left body hurting a bit and take in the white room. Hospital for sure. Why does hospitals always have to be white? But why am I..?

The car.

Simon.

Lydia.

The last name made me sit up straight and strangely I didn’t feel so much pain. I notice that from my arm there is a tube that leads up to a drop. I carefully sit up and start removing the weird tube from my arm. I look down at my body and see that I’m in a dress... fuck it. I head for the door when a nurse comes and jumps at the sight of me.  

 

He shakes his head and laugh.

“Scared me there little kid. You shouldn’t be standing up. How are you feeling?”

 

“Like nothing? Listen um, my friend Lydia Branwall? Car accident? Where is she? How is she?” He looks down at me and nods.

 

“She’s in surgery. She was critical when she came in but she should be better now. But lets worry about you. It says here that you have 2 broken ribs, possible concussion, scarred hands, twisted arm, a lot of body injuries and some facial ones and you have some back injuries. You should lay down so I can call the doctor seeing you removed the drop from your arm.”

 

“Please! Can you just go and check on her? And Simon? Simon Lewis? And then I’ll do whatever you want!”

 

“That sounds tempting” I turn towards the door and now a female walks in. Hello Alexander Gideon you can call me Iris. I’m your doctor.”

 

I clear my throat.

“Call me Alec. Listen doctor I don’t mean to be rude..but please could you just tell me what’s up with my friends?”

She regards me and sighs.

“Alec. The other boy that came in didn’t have any serious injuries. I believe amongst...other things he just have some injuries because he was lucky that he landed on grass. The blonde girl went in for surgery. She’s not critical and for now things are looking good.”

 

I breath out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and look up at her hopeful.

 

“Can I please see them?” She shakes her head.

 

“That wasn’t our deal Alec. Harry here have already explained your condition right?” She says gesturing towards the nurse. I nod but I only caught half of what he was saying and just tuned out the rest of the medical blabbering.”Good. We need you to stay in for some time and you avoid talking to the police since both your redheaded friend and the other boy already did and the stories match, they don’t need to hear it a third time.” I frown. Shouldn’t the police question all involved?

“I’ve just called your parents. They are on their way. But first can you follow the light?”

 

My what? Okay of course they are supposed to call my parents but oh no. I internally panic as I follow the light that’s coming from.. her pencil?

 

“Okay..good. You removed the tube..you know what that is? That drop contains morphine that’ll ease your pain.” The nurse, Harry, that had left the room comes back and tells her something. “Okay Alec your parents are here I’m gonna go and talk to them. Visiting hours are over so maybe you won’t see them until tomorrow morning. But we’ll see if we can let in a quick visit” She says before leaving the room with Harry. Shit.  _ Calm down Alec. Do something that will distract you. _

 

I look at the ridiculous dress that I’m wearing and I reach with my hand opening the drawers beside me. There is a closet beside the bed on the other side and I move to open it. I find a pair of white pants and a shirt with the hospital’s name stapled on it and start to change which was really difficult doing in a sitting position after have jumped out of a speeding car.

When I’m done the anxiety is back.  _ What will they say? How will Izzy react that I almost killed her girlfriend? But do they know that? How is Lydia and Simon? What’s dad gonna do to me as soon as the door to my room closes? What’s gonna happen? _

 

“Alec!” I hear and flip my head towards the voice  when I’m someone suddenly embraces me. The person pulls back and I find myself face to face with no other than Jace. Without thinking I push myself away from him and shift my body away from him. Jace blinks and takes a deep breath and starts what sounds like a rehearsed-in-front-of-a-mirror-a-thousand-times speech that leaves me utterly stunned.

 

“Alec. Ever since what happened to Sebastian I resented you. I hated you because how can someone do that to their best friend? You didn’t offer an explanation you just stood there while your best friend was dead a couple of meters under you. The truth is, I wanted to resent you. I wanted to hate you. That want just overclouded everything until I believed I hated you and behaved like a dick. And..you don’t seem as the kind of person to just..leave a bleeding body. You’ve always been the kind heart in the family. I wanted to hate you and I believe I did but today...the thought of losing my baby brother made me realise that I never succeeded with that want. I can’t stand you not being here because whether I like it or not, I love you.” I wince as I feel him pulling at my heart strings noticing he’s been talking to Izzy.

 

“Where are the others?” I ask shakely trying to ignore what he just said because after everything he’s really standing here now telling me this? I can’t fall for it but I desperately want to. I miss him. I miss my big brother.

 

“Izzy is getting info about Lydia and mum and dad are talking to the doctor. Alec. Tell me what happened that night. I’m listening. I didn’t pay attention back then but I am now.”

 

I look up at him blinking away the tears.

 

“I-It all started with you Jace. Y-you were the beginning of many things that led to another. You know Camille?..” Suddenly we hear someone loudly open the door and through it dad comes out looking furious. He strides over to me and I flinch. 

 

“What do you want Alec? Tell me now. Attention? Well you got it. Or do you just want to destroy everything that I have ever built? Everything me and you mother have ever built? Do you want to ruin our reputation? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! I bet the car thing was your fault! Everything is! Do you want to kill off another person? Is that what you want? Not enough that we had to cover it up the first time but now..”

 

“Enough father” Jace interrupts and I look up at him totally surprised. During all these months he has never ever stood up for me. But Robert barely glances at his adoptive son.

 

“Jace out. And let me raise this little 3 year old kid.” I shift away even more eyes wide. Of all the times he has laid his hands on me he has never said something like that. When Jace doesn’t budge Robert snaps his head his way. “NOW!”

 

“I’m sorry sir but if you don’t back away from Alec now I’m calling on somebody.” In the doorway Simon stands with cruthes. _ How long has he been standing there? How much did he hear? _

 

“Who are you to come in here and threaten me?” Robert snaps.

 

“A person. And that person is gonna call security soon if you don’t back away and leave this room. Now” Another voice replies and suddenly Magnus appears in the doorway with eyes full of venom. Roberts eyes flickers from one person to another until he swears exiting the room. When he’s gone there’s silence until Magnus breaks it.

 

“Hey blondie.” He greets. “Bye Blondie.” Under different circumstances I would have laughed.

 

“I’m not going anywhere!” Jace snaps. I glance down at my fingers and sigh. Always so stubborn.

 

“Jace please leave.”

 

“What? They should leave! You were just about to..” My head shoot up at him annoyed.

 

“Jace just leave…”

 

Jace regards me for a moment before he too existw the room. When he’s gone I continue the task to examine my fingers. Magnus breaks the silence once again.

 

“Alexander. We heard what your father said.” My blood freeze and my breath hitch. I feel someone hands on my shoulder and I notice Simon has approached me.

 

“Alec calm down. Just breath.” I didn’t notice that my breathing has increased but I can’t calm down.  _ They know They know They know They know… _

 

“Alexander look at me” I feel Magnus finger lift my chin up and I lock eyes with his mystical ones. What I see in his eyes surprises me. There is no judgement or accusation or hate… only raw worry. I watch Simon and see the same thing and it helps me calm down to some degree. Through the door Raphael also enter and he doesn't even look mad at me.

 

“I told myself..” Simon starts. “I told myself not to pressure you. To let you take your time and trust me more. I know there was something wrong since day one but I waited. I just didn’t know  _ how  _ wrong things were and I’ve had enough. This was the last straw Alec. Lydia could’ve died. She still can!  _ We _ could have died! It’s time Alec. You have to tell us and you have to trust us. From what I’ve heard until now it involves something with a dead body and well, you know me. I live for that kinda shit!” He adds in the end attempting some humour. 

 

And that’s it. No more running away. No more avoiding the truth because they’re right. We all could have died because of me. Because of my secret. And if they wanted to rat me out wouldn’t they have done it a long time ago? Or fled the room the second they heard what my father said? Instead they helped me and by now they know that I killed somebody and they still don’t look at me differently. And that’s it. After Sebastian I find myself doing what I promised myself not to do anymore: trust people.

 

“Okay. I’ll tell you but...please..lock the door.” Simon walks over to the door and locks it. Magnus lifts me up from the bed ad puts me in his lap and under different circumstances I would’ve been embarrassed but right now, this is what I need if I’m supposed to get through this. I’ve never talked about this to anyone before and I find myself carefully start telling my story.

 

“It’s ..umm. The girl? Her name is Camille.” I feel Magnus’s arms around me tighten. “She is Jace’s ex. They had been together for two years or so when he...when I found out that she had been cheating on him. Jace thought she was  _ the one _ , always spoiling her but I kept on telling him to break up with her. Once I found out about the cheating I told him but he didn’t believe me. He loved her and didn’t wanna lose her and I think to some extent she also didn’t want to lose him. Because she was obsessed. She still is. Anyway he talked to her but she reassured him that no such thing happened and made me the liar. Ever since, she has hated me and I tried multiple times to convince Jace but she was too good. I had never seen Jace love someone so much before.”

 

“One day, we were at a party and I caught her cheating again but this time I closed the door slowly and looked for Jace. He followed me and watched his girlfriend cheat on him. He went into the room and broke up with her and only after did he find out about all the other guys she has been with. When Jace broke up with her she tried her best to get back together with him. When he was at parties and he was drunk she always wanted to take advantage of him but I always stopped her. Every single time.” I pause and try to calm myself down. Taking deep breaths. I know I shouldn’t have started the story this way. I should have talked about  _ him _ but I just can’t yet.

 

Magnus is rubbing circles down my back soothingly and I unconsciously grab his other hand squeezing it.

“A few months back we were at a party at our friend’s, Raj’s, house. Camille did the same thing but different. She is crazy. I caught her carrying handcuffs and after knowing her and how insane she is, I followed. I didn’t get far because Raj tried convincing me to drink and I was wasting my time to decline. Eventually I went looking again until I found her. Her and Jace. Jace was...he was cuffed to the bed and she was straddling him almost naked. I intervened again and helped Jace but Jace was so far gone in the alcohol that he passed out. I went searhing for again ready to throw her out or something because I couldn’t call the police because it wouldn’t make any difference. Firstly, her mum and dad are lawyers and really? A girl raping a guy? Who would buy that? Anyway I was so mad I was ready to hit her btu then Izzy came, stopped me offering a drink.” I stay silent after that because I’m ashamed to continue.

 

“Alexander we won’t judge you we all make stupid mistakes.” Magnus whispers and Simon gives me an encouraging smile. I take a deep breath and continue voice weak my eyes tearing up.

 

“I-I took it. I-I drank. It was my first time ever I didn’t know the taste! I didn’t know what it was suppose to taste like! And I shouldn’t have drunk but I just...I was so sick of always butting in and I just witnessed my brother almost getting raped and I thought what the hell? If this is not something to drink away then what is? I thought that after fucking everything, I could use a drink. And I think..she also thought the same. She also got sick of it. Sick of me butting in so she..drugged the drink but I didn’t know because it was my first time and I had nothing to compare to! I was about to continue searching for her when Izzy told me that...my best friend was on the balcony at the back of the house. I scanned the room and I couldn’t spot Camille and I was worried about him so I went to the balcony..” 

 

“Is he Sebastian?” Simon asks and I look up as I’ve just heard a gunshot at the sound of his name. “I heard you call his name.” I nod carefully.

 

“Before you continue to what I think is where it all went down, tell us about him. Something to distract you for now.” Magnus says. I exhale and close my eyes a small sad smile tugging at my lips at the memory of him.

 

“He is..he was my best friend. But that’s not enough to describe him. He was even more than that, we were brothers. We were closer than brothers. W-we were one. We did everything together, always. He always picked me up when I fell down and I did the same. We were each other's anchors. I-I-I-I killed him..” Now I’m full on crying and Magnus presses me gently against his chest and by now I thought they would flee or something but they are still here. Magnus hugging me. Simon playing with my hair but I have to finish. There is no going back now and I ask them a question.

 

“Remember a few months back when there was a missing body? A teenage boy? H-He committed suicide but nobody could find his body? They still haven’t instead they only found a note?” They both nod slowly realisation dawning on both of them. It was all over the news.

 

“What happened on the balcony?” Simon asks softly and I sob.

 

“I-It wasn’t really a balcony it was more like a rooftop? I-I don’t know but it was really high up and concealed and I wondered what he was doing there. Wh-When I went I-I saw him super drunk making out with two girls and when he saw me he dismissed both of them. I told him about the drink and Camille and he got so pissed. That’s when I started feeling groggy and he noticed that I’ve been dr-drugged. E-Everything was starting to get blurry and I-I saw triple of everything.”

 

We hear a knock on the door and all three of us jump at the sound. “Alec?” Mum. I look up at Magnus and Simon with wide eyes.

 

“Hey Ms Lightwood..um..I’m helping Alec change. It might take a while!” Simon shouts and I exhale slowly.

 

“...I’ll come back later..” She answers. Simon turns to me and I notice his eyes are slowly getting wet. I look away and force myself to continue.

 

“She came in. Camille. She said she can finally have her way with Jace now that I’m out of her way and that maybe she’ll take me next. She knew Sebastian was drunk as fuck and that he’s super protective of me and wouldn’t leave my side.” I pause again because this is it. “I-I pushed her when she approached me and I-I guess she was gonna get back at me because I think that’s why Seb-Sebastian was in front of me. I-I p-pushed again with a lot of force b-but like I said he was in front of me a-and it was so weird because..I-I-I ended up pushing him instead. A-A-And he was so drunk I-I could hear him stumble and then I hear the sound he makes whenever h-he tr-trips over my archery equipment in my room and from years of you know..trying to catch him, I reached out. I managed to grab something I don’t know what but he couldn’t use his hands to scramble his way up. I turned wanting Camille to help but she was just standing there smiling, teasing me that I would let go eventually. When I faced her again she was gone.”

 

“Stop” I hear Magnus say. I don’t dear looking up at him and just bury my head in my hands. Will Magnus hate me now after hearing but everything? But instead I hear him tell Simon. “Go out and get him a glass of water.” I hear the bed shift, a door open and close with Rapahel following Simon. “Flower look at me.” I don’t look. “Alexander love, face me.” I shift and I slowly unfold my face and glance up at him through my wet eyelashes. I don’t see the same disgusted horrified expression my family gave me when they found out instead I see sadness and a small smile.

 

“Alexander I can’t believe that you’re blaming yourself for this. You got drugged. It was the first time you ever had a drink and yes, you did drink alcohol which wasn’t the smartest thing you could have done in that situation but you’re a teenager. Any other person would have more than one drink after that. But the girl to drug your drink was uncalled for and normally a sip wouldn’t have done anything to you.” Magnus can’t continue because Simon and Rapahel walk in with a glass of water that Magnus takes and places against my lips. I take a sip realising how thirsty I am before emptying the entire glass. Magnus puts the glass down on a table and then cups my face kissing me. It wasn’t intimate or romantic more like a reassurance and for me to relax which I do. He pulls away and looks at me with patience.

 

I clear my throat.

“I was holding not planning on letting go but..my head was feeling lighter and lighter and my body heavier and heavier with each passing second and I just wanted to fall down onto the floor. S-Sebastian..he tried talking to me to keep me awake. I tried to pull him up but I couldn’t muster up the strength to do it. It was all too much. I tried and tried to stay awake. I-It’s like..imagine yourself not having slept for days and everyday you’ve been..lifting huge rocks up a mountain. Then you just come home in the middle of the night and all you wanna do is collapse. Wh-What I felt was worse.I..I..the last thing I hear before I collapsed was “I will always love you Alcy” he used to call me that..” I choke on my words and Magnus presses me harder against him.

 

“I-I woke up with a headache..and looked over the ledge and I saw him..all bloody..I saw my best friend's body and his eyes were staring up at me and his head looked....”I shake my head sobbing not being able to continue the description. Nobody had noticed him because this part of the house was in the back where nobody goes. I ran. I was going down to call 911 when I felt someone yank me to a corner.”

 

“I looked up and I saw Camille and I was about to push her away because I didn’t have time for her bullshit but she pushed her ipad into my hands. I-I..there was a se-security footage. Raj’s parents have cameras all over the house because they were robbed once. I looked down and I saw us. I saw me pushing Camille and It looked like we were having an argument but then..I see her  _ leave _ right before I pushed Sebastian and the only thing you can see after that is Sebastian falling and me running away. N-Nothing else! I-I didn’t hold on to him, Camille wasn’t there, I didn’t faint, I didn’t wake up on the ground. I asked her what the fuck is going on and she told me that she edited it.”

 

I hear both of them curse knowing what’s coming next.

“She said that she cut out the part where she left when I was holding on to him and instead put it where we had been “fighting” and then she cut out every scene she had been in after “she left” and before I pushed Sebastian. She also cut out the part where I was holding onto him, fainted and woke up. She had manipulated the entire footage so perfectly I didn’t know that was possible!” I sob.

 

“That takes some serious amounts of skills Alec but it doesn’t surprise me. If she could hack into a car then she can manipulate a security footage flawlessly. Damn..that bitch is even better than me..”Simon chokes out and I realise he’s crying too.

 

“So in conclusion, all people could see in the footage was you having an argument, Camille leaving and then after that you pushing Sebastian and then leaning over the ledge looking like you just realised what you had done and then fleeing the crime scene.” Magnus clarifies and I nod.  

 

“She said that if I tell anyone that she was involved in this she would spread the video or go to the police and turn it in, have me arrested and get my family to pay off a huge fee and my family’s company will go down and we’ll be ruined. I didn’t know what to do but I knew I couldn’t do this to my family. I didn’t wanna ruin them. I stupidly fell for it and I knew I couldn't call 911 now because what should I tell them happened? I was having a panic attack and I was so clueless and stupid the only thing I could do was return to the balcony and scream. Then Izzy knowing I was on there came to pick me up.” 

 

“She saw the body..she screamed and wanted to call 911 but she didn’t have her phone and I was just sitting there..I had called mum telling her to come. She came in just when Izzy was about to grab my phone but mum stopped her. I don’t really know what happened. The drug’s effect was still on me and I still wanted to go to sleep. I couldn’t focus on what was happening. The only thing I could see was my best friend’s dead body until I felt someone shaking me. Izzy was asking me what happened and I didn’t know what to say. I felt so extremely guilty and I think her face told her what she wanted to know because she slapped me and started crying. Then..mum told us to not call 911 and to wait. She was on the phone for a while before she put us in the car half-carrying passed out Jace. After that I don’t know what happened but I think dad called in some reliable guys to cover the body and then digitally wrote a note that said that Sebastian was going to commit suicide and no one would be able to find his body because he wanted to be alone forever and not buried with hundreds of old people. My family paid off Raj’s family to keep quiet. After that things were never the same with them blaming me.” I finish with a sob. Silence fill the room and then I feel Simon wrapping his arms around me.

 

“Can I ask you some things?” He asks and I nod. “Why did you push him?”

 

“B-because I was drugged and couldn’t see in front of me and I thought..” I start but Simon interrupts asking the next question.

 

“How were you drugged?”

 

“Because I was stupid enough to take that drink when I should have..!”

 

“Why did you take that drink?” He asks.

 

“Because so much was happening and everybody recommends drinking after you have been through something big and I had just grown so tired and Jace almost got raped and..!”

 

“Why was Jace almost raped?”

 

“Because Camille wanted him and he didn’t so she was forcing herself on him when he was drunk”

 

“Why didn’t Jace want her?”

 

“Because they broke up and..!”

 

“And why did they break up?”

 

“Because Camille cheated on him”

 

Simon pulls away and locks eyes with me.

“The way I see it, it all started with Camille being a cheating desperate bitch and she was continuing on proving it throughout the events that happened later. You just happened to get in the middle of it”

 

“Alexander, Simon is right. You are not to blame for this you were just trying to protect your big brother over and over again until it backfired on you and you’re not to blame for that happening. She is sick. Camille? As in Camille Belcourt right?” I nod and look up at him. Were they together? 

“She also tried to blackmail me to start dating her. I think it was before her and Jace started dating. She claimed she had a sextape on me and she would post it online. I didn’t believe her and she asked if I really should take that risk. For a moment there I was a bit scared because yes, I used to sleep around and I didn’t know the people I met at bars well enough to know that they didn’t put a camera or something in the room but...I know myself. I know that my tastes aren’t that horrible.”

 

I sigh.

“Are you sure about that? You’re with me after all…”

 

“Alexander! You’re a wonderful person! All this that you’ve been telling me? It’s like you’re only explaining to me how fucked up she is. You’re not the guilty one here she is! She used you! Don’t let her use you even more! She was planning this all along. For you to take all the blame and for her to get off the hook. She hates you and she wants you to be in this pain. This is what she wants. You’re letting her win darling.” I blink. I never thought of it like that. “She is safe right now because she knows you won’t make a move against her because let me guess, you think you deserve everything you’re getting? She knows that you think that way and takes advantage of it and abuse you because she knows you will oblige.” I look up shocked. I do really feel that way. But isn’t it true? Don’t I deserve it? Sebastian was wrong I don’t deserve happiness no matter what. But I can’t help but think that Magnus is right on some level…

 

“Hey Alec” I face Raphael who hasn’t said a word during the entire story. He’s probably not gonna want me to spend time with Simon anymore…”Stop blaming yourself for others shitty doings to you. She fucked up. Not you. Now stop playing right into her hands, get to your senses, get out of this fucking hospital and find out what she thinks you have.” I stare dumbstruck at Raphael. 

 

They all make it sound so simple and easy. They..are not reacting like a person who just found out that their friend killed someone would react. Not like my family reacted. There is a faint voice whispering at the back of my mind that if I really was the murderer and they truly believe that now that they’ve heard the real story, wouldn’t they react differently and not be helpful at all? But that can’t be right can it? A knock is heard and I quickly wipe away any traces of tears and Magnus carefully lifts me up so I am laying on the bed. The nurse, Harry pops up.

 

“Visiting hours were over a long time ago.” I glance up at the clock on the wall and see that it’s like 11 in the middle of the night or something. Then the nurse locks eyes with Magnus. “But of course I made an exception just for you..” She says and winks. It’s stupid I know, but I can’t help but feel irritated at Magnus. I’m supposed to be his boyfriend and I’m sitting right here watching my nurse flirting with him after he probably flirted his  way in here with Simon and Raphael. But then Magnus does something I didn’t expect him to do when the nurse moves forward about to probably write down his phone number on Magnus’s hand. Magnus pulls away.

 

“Sorry sweetie but I have a boyfriend. He’s laying in front of you and he’s the most gorgeous, innocent and sweet person I have ever met. I only have eyes for him so kindly step away from me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being a bit late and I finished this in the middle of the night so tell me if anything is confusing. Probably there are a lot of mistakes and I'll edit tomorrow after the best sleep of my life.  
> Also sorry if things are medically incorrect I'm not really educated in that field and I've never really been hospitalised so I don't know about things like protocol and etc.  
> I haven't had a proper sleep for four days so I hope you enjoyed this chapter and good night:)


	18. The beginning of Sebastian and Alec

I feel heat rush up my neck and my cheeks burn at what Magnus just said. The nurse, Harry frowns at me his cheeks turning pink as well with embarrassment.

 

“Uh, sorry.”Harry mumbles and moves to stand by the door. “Um you need to get out now. All of you” 

 

Magnus gives me a kiss and Simon gives me an encouraging smile leaning forward to whisper in my ear: “I don’t blame you for anything please believe that. Your best friend, Sebastian, seemed like a really nice protective guy and if he were here I can imagine him rolling his eyes telling you off. Nothing that happened was your fault and we’re gonna get revenge because that bitch is a little piece of absolute crap that’s going down.” I gulp and nod holding back the tears.

 

I see Raphael regarding me before he exits knowing he and Magnus heard what Simon just told me. Then he says: “Nobody messes with Raphael Santiago, his boyfriend and Magnus Bane.Don’t worry Idiota.” I don’t know if the morphine in my system makes me hallucinate but was that a smile he gave me before he left?

 

After everyone’s out the nurse approaches me hesitantly. Well yeah, flirting with a guy that is your patient’s boyfriend right in front of the patient and then being left alone with said person can be a bit embarrassing. Well whatever. Too bad for him.

 

“I’m sorry for you know…” He starts and I only give him a nod. 

 

I guess I kinda have to get used to that now don’t I? Everybody chasing my boyfriend..well I can’t really do anything about it since he’s known for not ever have dated anyone so nobody will guess I’m his boyfriend. Instead he’s known for being a playboy and did other things with people..oh shit. 

 

My eyes widen slightly.

 

How am I supposed to satisfy him?! I’m not ready for doing anything beside kissing. It’s embarrassing, scary and I think I’m gonna explode. And when is it appropriate for us to do  _ that _ ? We’ve been dating for like a week is it time already? Is it too soon? Is it too late? Shit what if  Magnus will get tired of me from lack of.. _ you know _ . But I know shit about sex! Shit..I really do need Simon. But..

 

“Ow!” I hiss and look down at my right arm where Harry the boyfriend stealer is pushing a needle through my skin. I see blood seeping through my arm and I have to admit it’s kind of satisfying if it wasn’t me getting poked. “S’excuse me what are you doing?” I ask terrified. Harry cleans the blood, brings the tube to the skin pushing it in and put tape on. 

 

“Well that’s what you get for removing those before.” I glare at him and he sighs. “ It’s really for your best to keep that in. The morphine is still in your system haven’t you wondered why you don’t feel intense pain? Well as soon as you come down from it it will all start to hurt again and I’m guessing you want to sleep peacefully right?”

 

I continue glaring at the nurse. 

 

He and Kathy would make a great couple…- I think remembering the school nurse.

 

“I held of your parents so your friends could visit you saying visiting hours were over but usually family members can enter. They’ll visit you in the morning and until then try not to attempt an escape out of here. You seem like the type.” I fucking hate this nurse. I put on my best fake smile that clearly says “Get the fuck out”

 

“Thank you Harry, I would very much like to sleep now.” Harry returns the fake smile and turns towards the door taking the hint.

 

But you know, why not?

“Uhm Harry? Don’t turn off the lights I wouldn’t want people to notice when _my_ _boyfriend_ sneaks in and have to turn on the lights in the middle of the night. But well..he kind of like having it dark so leave it be. That reminds me, don’t lock the door will you!” I order snuggling into the blankets. I can distinctly hear my lie making him curse and I couldn’t help but smirk. Oh, I hope he stays as my nurse. Flirting with my boyfriend? I’ll show you..

 

The word boyfriend makes me smile. He had been so supportive..now that I’m laying down the realisation of what happened dawns on me and I realise that I told them. I really did the thing that I feared the most and it went  _ okay _ . I just told them about...and they didn’t get scared or angry! They didn’t resent me. All the things my family did when they found out. Instead they were trying to comfort me making sure I don’t blame myself. What did I ever do to deserve such people? I’ve only left death behind me. What will Lydia say when she wakes up? W-Will she wake u-up?

 

And Sebastian..all the memories of him that just opened up so many of my wounds that I’ve been trying to ignore. His blond hair, his reassuring smile, his kindness. Maybe, just maybe, having Camille and everyone else blaming me made me believe it myself but after today, after telling them the story and I wasn’t faced with resentment and instead with pure kindness, maybe it wasn’t entirely my fault. Maybe..just maybe..

 

But it doesn’t change the fact that he’s gone. Forever. There is nothing I can do to make him live except in my memories but it’s too painful to open them. I loved him so much..

 

I cuddled into the blankets as I wept tears staining my face. I’m like that until I start to feel drowsy and sleep takes me into another place a long time ago. A couple of years ago where it all began...

 

 

* * *

_ I glance down at my shoes and try again but still all I can manage is to tangle up the laces and make a weird knot that shouldn’t be there. I try to unknot the knot and start again. Come on Alec you can do this! Behind me I hear three boys laughing. _

 

_ -Aww look Alec can’t even tie his shoooes!-One of them teases and I flush with embarrassment. _

 

_ -You need heeeeelp?- Another one fills in.  _

 

_ I swallow and try again but I can’t seem to get it right and they laugh even more. I want to cry and I feel someone shoving me in the back. _

 

_ -Awww are you gonna cryyyyyyy?!- I gulp and try again. And again. I hear them laugh even more and I can feel the tears starting to emerge in my eyes as I try to swallow the lump in my throat. _

 

_ -Hey! What’s going on here?- Someone asks and I look up and see a blond boy approach us. _

 

_ Not another one… _

_ One of the boys steps up in front of the blond one and laughs. _

 

_ -He can’t tie his shoeeessss!!! -He teases and I clench my eyes shut. _

 

_ -Fuck off Brad. A week ago you didn’t even know how to eat with a fork!-I hear the blond one telling the other boy, Brad, and I look up surprised and grateful.  _

 

_ And wow. Such harsh words for a little 5 year old boy. _

 

_ Brad frowns and the rest of his group starts backing away when the blond boy stands in front me looking like he would kill anyone who approached. Brad stands still looking like he’s trying to find something to say until he turns red and leaves together with the rest. The blond boy crouches down in front of me and grabs my shoelaces from my fingers beginning to tie them. _

 

_ -There are two techniques for tying your shoelaces. One, you grab these two and form them like an oval like this and then you put one over the other and then a hole will form here and you slip this through it. The other technique is more difficult but  more efficient. I’ll teach you when you have mastered the first one. _

 

_ I pay close attention at how he does it and when he is done I look up at him with gratitude. He smiles at me and I can feel my cheeks turning pink. Why must I always be so awkward? _

 

_ -Um I...It’s..I have older siblings...they like to spoil me a lot and never lets me do things like this on my own..s-sorry if that’s weird… _

 

_ \- I get it. _

 

_ Then his smile grows wider. _

 

_ -You’re so cute with those red cheeks! Oh and I think your eyes are magical. Big and blue! _

 

_ I smile and glance down at my tied shoes embarrassed for getting so much compliments. _

 

_ -Haha you can’t even tie your shoes!!! And I don’t mean that in an offensive sorta way more in a you’re-so-adorable sorta way. _

 

_ I smile shyly at him and he laughs. _

 

_ -Don’t worry. I’m gonna take care of you. I won’t let them come near you ever again. I pinkie promise I’m gonna protect you no matter what. I like you. Not like all the other idiots here. What’s your name? _

 

_ -Alec. _

 

_ -Alec? Kinda boring.  _

 

_ -It’s short for Alexander..? But nobody calls me that.- I add not sure if that’s gonna help. _

 

_ -Really? Well, I strive to be unique and that sounds much better! Alexander. Gives me the impression of a cute little prince. But we need a nickname for you. Aly? Nah..my mother’s friend’s name is Aly. How about Alcy? It suits you. Small and cute! _

 

_ I flush even more and smile. This kid is really outgoing.  _

 

_ -Hey you wanna go play with the slide thing?-He asks and I shift uncomfortably. _

_ -Omg don’t tell me you’ve never tried it! _

 

_ -Umm I have a fear of heights..-I admit and he smiles. _

 

_ -It’s not even high up! You have to try its fun! I’ll be at the end of the slide catching you I promise! _

 

_ We go towards the slide and when I’m sitting at the top ready to slide I can feel butterflies in my stomach as I push, lean forward and let my body slide. I close my eyes shut when gravity takes over and I feel someone's arms wrap around me. He holds me and laughs. I open one eye.  _

 

_ -How was it?! _

 

_ -Not as scary as I thought it would be? _

 

_ -Hahaha well that’s a start! _

 

_ I give him a bright smile but then I hear someone laugh mockingly behind us. _

 

_ -Naww Alec needed catchiiiing!!! _

 

_ The blond boy lets go of me to swirl around angrily at the boy behind us _

 

_ -Did you say something?! Because I thought I heard something but I’m not sure? _

 

_ The boy’s eyes widen and runs away. That’s when I realise I don’t even know the blond's name!  _

 

_ -U-um..W-What’s your name? _

 

_ He turns around smiling and ruffles my hair. _

 

_ -Sebastian! _

 

* * *

Whoever walks into Alec’s room that night would see him laying there peacefully smiling with wet cheeks. Something he hasn’t done in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handed in my final assignment I'm finally free!  
> So this chapter was solely dedicated to Alec and Sebastian. I wanted that in one chapter and I hope you liked it


	19. The next day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors:)

My eyes slowly open and take in the room I’m in. White. Hospital of course…

 

“Morning buttercup” I whip my head to the other side so fast I feel a bit dizzy and see Magnus sitting in a chair beside my bed smiling.

 

“Uh..morning Magnus. Um what are you doing here?” I ask. Magnus raises his eyebrows and look down at me with amusement.

 

“Oh. Weren’t you the one that told the nurse that I was supposed to sneak in? Well, imagine my surprise as I walk in and see you sound asleep.” He jokes making me blush.”You thought I didn’t hear that? I was right outside darling”He laughs and leans in to kiss my red cheeks. “Dream good? You looked so peaceful.” He whispers into my ear and I gulp.

 

“I..It was..nothing I wanna talk about.”

 

Magnus pulls away and stares into my eyes dead serious.

“The point of you telling us the story you told before was for us to help you. It was for you to feel that you’re not alone. So don’t be alone. Don’t bottle things up. Open up. Even if whatever you have to say is sad, happy, devastating it’s okay to share. It’s always better to talk because it’s not healthy to just keep everything inside when you have someone to talk to. Alexander I’m your boyfriend, I’m here for you, so talk darling. Of course some things you can’t talk about but I want you stop bottling things up dear.”

 

I nod slowly and glance up at Magnus with teary eyes.

 

“I just dreamt of how me and S-Seb-Sebastian first met.”

 

Magnus smiles softly and strokes my hair and I close my eyes leaning into the sensation.

“I bet it’s a lovely story because if he won your heart then he must’ve been an incredible person. Wanna share flower? Of course only if you want to buttercup.”

 

“Buttercup and Flower. I like them.” I admit shyly.

 

Magnus grins and kisses my cheek again and I clear my throat awkwardly.

“It was..It was in kindergarten. I didn’t know how to tie my shoes and some kids were mocking me. Then S-Sebastian showed up out of nowhere telling them off and after that he taught me how to tie. He..He protected me alot. All the time. He never left my side. When we first met he said he liked me and as he used to say: “You always manage to put a smile on my face by just being yourself A-Alcy and not a lot of people has been able to do that.” I quote trembling a little at his name and what he used to call me.

 

I open my eyes and take in Magnus’s sad ones and look away. I’m barely able to hold my own tears back.

“He is right.” Magnus says.

 

“How? It’s not like I smile all the time..” I mumble.

 

He grabs my chin and turns my head so I’m facing him.

 

“It’s not about whether or not you smile. It’s  _ you” _

 

I blink confused.

 

“I don’t get it..” I mean I am a really boring person..

 

Magnus chuckles and grins.

“How did we first meet? The first time.” He asks and I frown.

 

“Um the movies?” Magnus quirks a brow totally amused by this..oh.  _ Oh. _ Immediately I feel hit rush up to my neck and I can’t help but let out a laugh on my behalf soon followed by Magnus.

 

“I’ve never been so grateful for trashcans before dear, that whole scene was hilarious!” Magnus laughs and although I’m radiating fire like never before I’m laughing with him. When we calm down Magnus smiles.

“See? You always bring a smile to a person’s face.”

 

“By..being humiliated all the time?” I was going to continue but Magnus presses his mouth against mine shutting me up. 

 

We sit there for a while slowly giving simple kisses until I can feel him teasing my lower lip and I automatically open up letting his tongue slide in and well..I’m so fucking gone. Like, remember the fireworks I was referring to? Forget them! We’re talking about a bomb here. My body feels like a bomb that’s about to explode as his hands slide up to my chest and I cling to his biceps and try to breath normally. I experimentally meet his tongue with my own hearing him gasp and surprisingly, after watching my best friend toungefucking other people, it’s not disgusting. It feels so good that I let out a moan without helping it. 

 

He pulls away regarding me and I flush. Pathetic. I moaned just from a simple kiss. Magnus has surely had better...but then Magnus smashes our lips together shutting my thoughts this time. Tongue kissing is not as hard as I thought it would be and I realise that when Magnus pulled away before I kind of missed it...

 

I don’t know when it happened but suddenly half of Magnus body was on the bed on top of mine and I’m clenching his biceps desperately feeling the muscles as one of his hands curls into my hair and the other one cupping my cheek as our lips move in synch making my mouth go hot. He slowly slides his tongue around my mouth as I meet him halfway the action spreading warmth and tingling sensations to certain places of my body.

 

Wait a minute. Waaaiit a minuteee. Is this it? Are we gonna do it? But I’m hurt and Magnus would never do it like this. But I’ve always heard from Izzy that hospital sex is the shit so maybe this is it? But I’m so not ready! Or am I overthinking this? Simon where are you?!!

 

I lay there silently panicking inside as we’re making out tongues slowly swirling around each other both moaning until someone clears their throat and I reflexively pull Magnus away immediately missing the touch. 

 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to be mad for being interrupted in the middle of a hot make out session or happy because in the doorway Harry is standing looking like a harvested tomato that doesn’t know what to do. Magnus is still half laying on top of me and he turns around smirking at the nurse.

 

“Something wrong nurse?” He asks  _ and oh his voice sounds so husky and so sexy _ . I turn even more red at the thought and glance away towards the window trying to make the sky outside calm me down. 

 

“Uh ehm..no..yes? His parents are waiting. His mum and siblings so..” He responds and I go from secretly jumping (because of all people Harry the boyfriend stealer walked in on us) to pale in a matter of seconds. 

 

“Okay got it. Could you let them in maybe after 5 minutes darling?.” Magnus asks and the nurse nods hurrying out of here. Magnus turns to me.

“What happened to my radiator?” He teases looking at my cheeks.

 

“I..Magnus, me and my family isn’t exactly that..close. We..well..”

 

“I know. It’s kinda obvious. I can get around your siblings and I haven’t met your mother but your father? Excuse me Alexander but that man is something else. Does he hurt you often?”

 

I gulp and start fiddling with the mattress.

“I..he..there is no going around that he does hit me after what you heard when you guys walked in on us before. It’s obvious it’s not the first time he has intended to touch me so y-yeah..h-he does..”

 

“Oh Alexander..” He strokes my cheek looking at me lovingly. What did I ever do to deserve this kind of attention?

“Does he make you do things? Is that why you have those scars on your hands?”

 

“No. Those are from the bow and arrow. When I’m sad I shoot. Without gloves.”

 

Magnus takes my left hand and kisses the palm, the backhand and starts with giving each finger butterfly kisses. Then he moves on to the next hand. The movements makes my hands strangely tingle a lot and I shiver as I can’t pull away.

 

“I don’t want you ever hurting yourself flower. See this is your problem sweetness. You bottle things up and then vent out with the bow and arrow hurting yourself in the process. You do that again and again but does it really change anything? Do you feel better? I get that it calms you down but does it really feel better up here?” He asks pointing at my skull. “No it doesn’t because you’re doing this alone. I want you to, next time something happens and you want to lash out with archery I want you to resist and talk to someone. I mean it . Pick up a phone dial my or Simon’s number (or even Raphael’s) and start venting. Just rant your heart out. Keep on lashing out on the phone until you feel like you got everything out and then you’ll feel better. Do you wanna know how I know? How did you feel after you told us your secret?”

 

“Better? I expected you to loathe me and never talk to me again.” I murmur nervously.

 

“Let me guess, you always thought ”they’re kind to me now but as soon as they know it’ll all be different” all the time? I nod slowly astonished and he smiles.

“But that didn’t happen didn’t it? And now you feel like a weight has lifted off of your shoulders because it feels like our relationship and you and Simon’s friendship isn’t fake.”

 

I look down at the sheets thinking for a second before I glance up at him again smiling slightly.

“Magnus you...you’re really good at this. Didn’t imagine the High Bad Boy of Brooklyn High to be a wise man.” I joke and Magnus throws his head back laughing and I grin.

 

“See? You bring a smile to people’s faces!” He beams for the second time and I grin wider. Then I realise he’s still laying on top of me and my hands are still in his. I glance up and I find him gazing down at my lips with those spectacular pair of eyes. I don’t know how long we stay like that but when I hear voices down the hallway I remember what we asked Hary to do. I clear my throat.

 

“My family is..y’know..” I say and he nods.

 

“Right. Til next time Buttercup” He says and kisses both of my cheeks before he exits. I sink back into the sheets exhaling. I need to talk to Simon because I can’t overthink it like this every single time he touches me. 

 

“Alec?” My heads snaps up startled and I find Izzy, Jace and mum standing in the doorway. It’s visible that Izzy has been crying, Jace looks upset and mum just stands there with a pokerface. I lay there waiting. I have no idea what to say or do so I wait for them to make the first move. Izzy steps forward slowly until she ends up running to me. I feel her arms around me and I still just lay there surprised.

 

She pulls away and cups my face.

“Oh Alec I was so scared when I heard, I wanted to visit but Jace wanted to as well and I went and checked on Lydia and when I came back that nurse said I couldn’t come in and..”

 

“Izzy.” I say interrupting her blabbering and she immediately shuts up regarding me with sad eyes. “I…” This time she interrupts me.

 

“Alec I’m sorry okay? Me and Jace talked after you spoke to me in the school hallway and we...we want you to tell us what happened and this time we’ll listen we’re so sorry.” I stare at her. Seriously? Now? Months later? Months of harassing, abusing and resentment she suddenly wants to listen? I can’t help the rage that fires up inside of me and I snap at her.

 

“Yeah now you wanna know! After what? After me having a talk with you making you realise that you coming up to me at that balcony and immediately drawing a conclusion by yourself without me having even uttered a single word, was wrong? I can’t believe it! You and Jace! You just assumed because I was sitting there! You’ve known me ever since I was little you really think I have the heart to...you really think I have the heart to kill my bestfriend?!”

 

Izzy sobs and Jace looks away. Mum who was standing without any movement suddenly looks down.

 

“A-Alec. Little brother please. We’re sorry okay? And you know what he meant to me. And we really do love you so please make us understand the thing we ignored that night. Please brother!” Izzy pleads.

 

“And what did it take for you to realise that I’m actually your brother?” I snap my head towards Jace. “What about you Jace? What did it take for you to walk up to me telling me all those things you told me before? What did it take? It took me dying. That’s what it took. And you call yourself siblings!” I cry without helping it as tears flows down my cheeks.

 

Izzy goes up and runs out. Jace approaches me and crouches down in front of my bed grasping my hand. 

“Listen man I’m sorry. I just..you know what he meant for all of us. He was family. So when we saw him like that and you just sitting there doing nothing we saw red. I’ll make it up to you brother but you have to know that we couldn’t help but react that way when you didn’t want to answer our questions..”

 

Typical Jace. He’s right but he’s still my big brother. He should always stand by me and the fact that I didn’t say anything didn’t seem suspicious at all to him?! I just sat there watching my best friend’s dead body for no reason? And now he’s making up excuses for his and Izzy’s behaviour for the past months of torture? But well, I guess that’s the best you can get out of Jace. 

 

“Go.” I say because if he stays and I watch the big brother I loved so much making up excuses for not cutting me some slack I will explode. I just can’t have him in my room right now. He nods, lets go of my hand leaving. Only mum left. 

 

She just stands there for what feels like forever until she finally opens her mouth.

 

“You seem well.” She says simply and I nod wiping the tears away from my eyes. “I heard from Robert what happened before in this room. Did he touch you?” I frown confused. Since when does she care?

 

“No but he always does anyway so..” I respond trying to voice my thoughts and for a second I see something change in her expression. She moves to the door and just when I think she is about to leave she closes the door locking it. There are two locks and she turns each one slowly, my stomach flipping with every lock. Then she turns to me in slow motion and I clench my fingers around the sheets my other hand on that weird button that makes the nurse come. Because I know my father.  _ He _ is predictable. I’m trained and prepared for him but mum? She’s the quiet one that observes and that’s almost scarier because I don’t know her next move. I don’t know who is more terrifying father or mother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the Malec and family drama. Next chapter Group S is gonna pop up:)
> 
>  
> 
> So I wanted to ask something...how would you guys feel about a wingfic?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes in my writing!

When she is almost by the bed she pauses and I swallow. What is she going to do to me...

 

"Alec...my son. I've done a lot of bad things for a reason..or I make it seem like a reason."

 

What is she talking about? She closes her eyes for a couple of seconds and when  she opens them I see sadness and...regret? I've never seen her like this before. But I know that look. That's the look I have everytime I see myself in the mirror. That look tells so much yet so little representing feelings that are buried, deeply hidden inside a box that's tucked away far in an unknown place. It's the look that says Don't help me because I don't want it even though I secretly do but if that happens the outcome is not gonna be good.

 

"Mum?" I shift uncomfortably and she takes a step forward. 

 

She slowly puts her now trembling hand on the sleeves of her sweater pulling them up. I observe her totally confused until I gasp clasping my hands over my mouth in horror.

 

All the way up her arm there are red marks covering her flesh. Some has brown around the edges and some looks somehow more fresh than the others. It's like the patterns are eating up her skin demanding to be a part of her.

 

"Mum.." I whisper my voice trembling. "Wha..who...how?" I breath out and she sighs. 

 

She looks at me sadly her eyes slowly watering even though she is trying to keep her composure.

 

"Your father has a thing for hot things I guess.." She says her voice betraying her completely.

 

"D-Did dad do that to you? D-Did he?" I plead for her to answer and she draws a hand through her hair exhaling shakily.

 

"Yes he did honey. He still does. I owe you an explanation. Y-Your father does this to me as punishment whenever he can't have his way. When I heard what happened to you I had to come here and honestly I can’t hold back any longer. He said that if I ever showed you any kind of affection he would..do this to me. Once he caught me making you dinner by the stove. He threw the pot, took my arm and put it against the hot eye burning me.I kept telling myself that I’m doing what he wants for your sake but truthfully I do it for myself. Because I don’t wanna get hurt even more than I already have. Because I was scared…” She starts sobbing and I take her hand.

 

“Mum..” I whisper and she leans forward, pulling me into a hug.”Why? Why did you stick with him? Why are you still with him now?”

 

“Because I don’t want us to separate it’d be bad for all of us. Money, the reputation, everything! I’m so sorry Alec do you know how many times I wanted to sit next to you and have a talk? But I was just so afraid to..get burned.”

 

“Mum why do you care about our reputation? I get it, without it we would go under but...you can divorce dad and he won’t dare telling anyone the real reason. No one needs to know. And if he lies and spreads bad things about you just threaten him with saying you’ll tell everyone what he did!”

 

“No Alec I can’t divorce him. You need your father. Maybe not you but have you seen him with Izzy? I can’t lose her to him and I haven’t exactly been Izzy’s ideal mother. He always said that I shouldn’t come close to her because she is his precious little daughter. He didn’t even get that mad when she said that she is bisexual because he was so convinced she would choose a boy in the end. Alec I don’t want to lose Izzy.”

 

“Mum? How long has this been going on?” I ask perplexed at what I’m finding out just now.

 

“He’s always been cruel to me and I was planning on leaving him but then I had you and I can’t really manage and pay for an entire house, 2 children and 1 infant on my own. With time he got more aggressive especially after you came out and I was still supporting you. But then after Sebastian the burns came.. Alec can you forgive me for leaving you?”

 

“Mum I’m so sorry. And of course. Can you forgive  _ me? _ ” I nuzzle my head in her shoulder the way I used to before and she starts stroking my hair.

 

“Of course! But for what? You didn’t do anything wrong. Listen Alec after that night I wanted to sit with you and listen to what happened but your father…” She sighs heavily. “I don’t believe for a second that you did it. At least not on purpose and I can’t believe how Izzy and Jace rushed to think that you did. You can’t imagine the anger I felt towards them. The anger I still feel. Alec I’m so sorry for being selfish.”

 

“Mum stop any person would have done the same. He was  _ burning _ you.”

 

“ Alec..I know you wouldn’t do it. You’re my sweet boy you can’t possibly do something like that and after yesterday when I heard what happened to you I decided that I’m done. I’m gonna  be with you if I want, I wanna comfort you if I want and I want to buy you Ice cream if I want and I don’t care if I have to pay for it later. So Alec could you please tell me what really happened?” 

 

I close my eyes. Mum. How I’ve missed her and I want her to know. I always knew she wouldn’t judge me and I was surprised at how different she became when I came out and even more when she didn’t even glance my way after that night.

 

“Mum. You know Camille? Jace’s ex?...” I start telling her everything. When I’m done she pulls away and wipes my tears. “Mum was it my fault? Did he die because of me? Were Jace and Izzy right?”

 

Mum shakes her head.

“Alec this wasn’t your fault. Not even a little bit. I don’t want you to ever blame yourself. She manipulated you. That’s what she did. And Jace? He was sitting there blaming you when he was a part of it all. Alec honey it was not your fault.” I put my head on her shoulder.

 

“Mum what do I do now? Lydia and Simon and Raphael and Magnus and you and everyone got hurt because of me.”

 

Mum cups my face and pulls me back to stare into my eyes.

 

“I told you he was doing those things to me a long time ago. That wasn’t your fault. And what happened to your friends is because of that girl and yes you need to somehow stop it. We can’t tell the truth now because then we all will probably get arrested and if you did back then you would be arrested and monitored and our family would be ruined. You made the call you thought was the right one and it’s okay Alec. But you need to find out what she has on you and use that.” I nod slowly. “And Alec? Stop blaming yourself.” I sigh and then smile a little.

 

“Mum? You know Magnus? He’s not my friend..he’s my um boyfriend..”

 

First mum’s eyes widen and then she smiles down at me.

 

“Since when?” She asks.

 

“A week ago..”

 

“Does he know?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Reaction?”

 

“Same as yours.”

 

“I like him when can I meet him?”

 

“Mum….” I groan. There is a knock on the door and we both turn to the doors’s direction. We both quickly rub the tears away from our eyes and mum covers her arms standing up. She goes up, unlocks the door opening it slowly. First I can’t see anyone but then several heads pokes out from the doorway.

 

“Aleeeeeec!!!” Suddenly Tessa is walking into the room heading for the bed. 

 

“Oh look our clumsy boy looks better!” Will steps inside followed by a smiling Jem.

 

“You really need to stop getting into trouble” Catarina says standing beside Ragnor.

 

“Yes please.” Ragnor mumbles and Caarina gives him a scolding look.

 

“Idiota.” Raphael simply mutters causing some of them to chuckle and behind him Simon struggling with the crutches appears.

 

“You feelin better?!” Simon beams and hurries to come in looking at me weirdly. If anyone is going to notice that I was recently crying it’s Simon. And apparently Magnus too because he walks in giving me a kiss on the forehead and looks down at me with concern. 

 

“Everything alright?” I nod and give him a small smile.

 

“So you’re Magnus.” Mum states and Magnus turns around facing my mother who is assessing him from top to toe. “I’m Alec’s mother.” Magnus, not knowing if my mum is like the rest of my family puts on a poker face and extends a hand.

 

“Magnus Bane, I’m Alexander’s boyfriend.” He says and mum takes his hand shaking it. 

 

“Alexander huh?”She smiles at me knowing the only other person that ever called me that. “Nice to meet you. You can call me Maryse please take of my son.” Magnus face lights up with a smile and nods.

 

“Of course Mrs Lightwo- Maryse- and it’s a pleasure to meet you too” 

 

Yeah..but I don’t think it’s a pleasure watching this awkward exchange and I clear my throat.

 

“Mum these are my...friends, Will, Jem, Tessa, Catarina, Ragnor, Raphael…” Before I can get the chance to say Simon’s name he steps up extending his hand.

 

“Hey! I’m Simon Le….” He didn’t get far because one if his crutches falls down and in an attempt to grasp it the other one falls and he stumbles. He’s about to fall but Raphael leaps forward grabbing his waist with one hand and his shoulder with the other. 

 

Simon extends his immediately again. “Lewis! Simon Lewis! Alec’s man!” He introduces face flushed and I can see that Raphael is mentally facepalming himself as we all laugh. Mum stare at him confused with a smile and then turns to me.

 

“I thought Magnus was your boyfriend? Do you have two? Is this some kind of love triangle?” We laugh even more at that and Simon flushes even more.

 

“Wait no! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant..like...I’m his buddy man...like his emergency caller...I’m his person!..I’m his friend..really close friend!..Best buddy you know..I’m..”Simon tries to clarify and Maryse chuckles.

 

“I know I get it. I was just teasing you I do it all the time with Alec it’s always just as funny. You two get the exact same reaction!”

 

“Mum…” I groan and she laughs.

 

“I’ll leave you in your friend’s care then. Take care of him.” She says.

 

“Mum..” I repeat.

 

“Don’t worry Mrs Lightwood we will.” Jem assures and with that she walks out with a smile.

 

Raphael is still holding the red Simon and he stares down at his boyfriend clearly annoyed.

 

“”I’m Alec’s man?”” He voices and Simon’s eyes widen.

 

“I didn’t know what to say it just came out wrong!..I’m your man..” Simon says and smiles lovingly. Raphael’s face soften and he kisses Simon’s cheek quickly and start picking up his crutches.

 

“Get a room.” Magnus says. Raphael looks up irritated.

 

“Look who’s talking. Making out in a hospital bed for anyone to see?.” Now it’s my turn to blush. He saw that?

 

“At least we were alone in the room darling. But well why didn’t you just knock you and Simon could’ve joined” Magnus winks and I look up at him in disbelieve.

 

“Ohh I’m sensing a double date hereee” Tessa says totally not getting it.

 

“Make it triple!” Will shouts and lifts up Jem’s arm.

 

“See? I’m not the only one that wants it!” Simon looks at Raphael as a matter of factly and Raphael rolls his eyes.

 

“If we go one time will you shut up?”Raphael mutters.

 

“YES!! WOHOOO!!!” Simon walks up to my bed and hugs me and I whimper.

 

“Simon broken ribs remember?” I breath out and he immediately lets go.

 

“Right sorry Panda!”

 

“Simon either you stay still beside his bed or you’re standing in a corner alone.” Raphael tells Simon who gapes.

 

Magnus whistles beside me and winks at us. Then he points at Raphael and Simon with his thumb

 

“Raphael discipline…”

 

“Cállate, eres molesto como el infierno Magnus.” Magnus laughs at that and then he motions for me to scoot over in the bed and I awkwardly move further to the side. Then he lies down beside me and start caressing my hair. I blush slightly and try to not seem awkward as Magnus is casual about the situation.

 

“Aww how cute! Who would have thought? Magnus Bane having a lover.” Catarina smiles at us and Magnus scoffs.

 

“I just didn’t like the others my dear Catarina.” Magnus says.

 

“Okay enough of this relationship drama you all have going on. How are you feeling Alec?” Jem asks and I’m grateful for the change of subject.

 

“I don’t really know. I guess I’m still on morphine so I don’t really know the pain if you get what I mean.” He nods and I ask the question I’ve been wanting to ask since they stepped foot in here. “How is Lydia?”

 

Now Magnus answers.

 

“Don’t worry flower, she’s going to be fine. She’s still unconscious but she’s stable and they’re waiting for her to wake up. She should wake up any time.”

 

“And Clary?”

 

“She is by Lydia’s side. We were just there. She didn’t want to leave Lydia alone. Your sister and brother are also there.”

 

My heart clench at the mention of Izzy and Jace remembering how they were telling me to forgive them. I want to I really do..but they really did hurt me. I always did things for them. Covered for them when they were going to partys or when they needed money, I always drove them to school because they were terrible drivers and I always cooked when our parents weren’t home because Jace is lazy and Izzy..lets just say no one wants food poisoning. It just feels like a huge backstab and I can’t take it if they do that to me again.I just feel like I need to know if they’re serious but I don’t know…

 

“Everything alright dear?” I meet Magnus’s eyes and nod giving him a small smile.

 

“Magnus? I wanna go to Lydia.” Magnus presses a kiss on top of my head.

 

“Sure thing darling but I don’t think the doctor wants you to go up now.  _ I _ don’t want you to and she is still unconscious you can’t do anything for her. I promise you the minute she wakes up I don’t care if I have to carry you down the hallways, I’ll take you to her.”

 

I bite my lip considering it.

 

“Thank you Magnus.”

 

“Always darling” He presses another kiss on my forehead.

 

“Yeah...I think we all should just GTFO now.” Simon laughs nervously and flush turning my head away from Magnus’s gaze.

 

“Agreed. Please. I don’t want to watch this a minute longer.” Ragnor mutters and Raphael hums in agreement.

 

“Haha get better Alec we’ll visit you later!” Will says and Jem does the same. After everyone is out Magnus goes up to close the door waiting for Simon to exit. God I really need to talk to him. Simon leans in and gives me a hug and I whisper as quietly as possible:

 

“Simon I really need to talk to you about something..” I whisper.

 

“Same..I think I know what Camille is up to. It’s just a suspicion but still.” I freeze at that with widened eyes.

 

“ _ What? _ ”

 

“We’ll talk later.” Simon pulls away before I can say anything more and turns crutches in each hand.

“I’ll come by later with card games!” He turns to Magnus. “As much as I love Malec I still need my friend and if we’re gonna be stuck here then I want to spend time with him. Sorry not sorryyyy!” He says and walks out grinning like an idiot. Magnus shuts the door behind him.

 

“Well that means we need to value every moment we’re alone darling” He says and winks at me. Wait does that mean..? Simon come back! 

 

Magnus starts walking towards me and climbs into the hospital bed predatorily and I gulp as he approaches giving me a tentative kiss making me automatically curl my arms around his neck the tube following the motion. Then he pulls away and gives my lips one last butterfly kiss before I hear sound in the room. I glance past Magnus’s head and see that he has turned on the TV. He smiles smugly and lies down beside me lifting my head so it lies on his chest.

 

“No need to get all red Radiator it’s only Harry Potter.” He teases and I playfully slap his thigh. “No need to get violent dear, save that for another time, place, occasion and  _ position _ if you know what I mean.” 

 

“M-Magnus!” Heat rushes up all over my face and Magnus laughs his chest rising and falling. He cups one of my hot cheeks and laughs again.

 

“You should stop that darling or you’ll burn my shirt..”

 

This time I don’t do anything that’ll make him tease me more and instead I stick with just shutting the hell up but I can’t help the smile that appears on my face and I turn  my head burying my face in his chest to hide it.

 

“Now now pay attention to the movie Harry Potter is good. This is the part where Harry and Ron can’t go through the wall and have to use a flying car to get to Hogwarts. Quite hilarious.” Magnus says but I still don’t budge.

 

Eventually I do and I watch someone named Harry and Ron riding a flying car and getting tangled up in a giant moving tree. Then there is this lady that’s apparently the vice principal and the head for a house called Griffindoor or something like that, what’s her name Mrs McDonald's? I like her. Now and then we both laugh and I enjoy it when his chest rises and falls against my head. This is nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translation (hopefully it's correct)  
> Cállate, eres molesto como el infierno Magnus= Shut up you're annoying as hell Magnus
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it:)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes:)
> 
> Okay I don't really know if you put a warning for this but there is some sex talk in this chapter so consider yourself warned I guess...?:)

“Buttercup. Flower. Sweetie. Angel. Blue eyes..” I hear someone whisper and gently nudge my shoulder. I start to slowly wake up and realise that my head is against something hard and something that’s moving. Something that’s breathing. I slowly glance upwards and see Magnus smile down at me and I realise I fell asleep on him.

 

“Thought you would never wake up you’ve been sleeping for a long time darling.” He whispers and kisses my cheek slowly.

 

“Morning Magnus.” I whisper back a little embarrassed. “Um how long?”

 

“Lets just say it was Sunday afternoon when you fell asleep and now it’s Monday morning beautiful.”

 

I blush a bit at that and can’t help but snuggle into the blankets a little and he chuckles pressing a kiss on my forehead before stroking my hair.

 

“So how was the movies my blue eyed angel? You fell asleep during the fourth.”

 

I blush a little at the nickname and I frown up at him. Then...I start babbling.

 

“What the hell is wrong with Ron? He wouldn’t even listen?! Yeah, like Harry _wanted_ to throw his name in the goblet of fire!” I start sarcastically. “I can’t believe Ron got mad and didn’t even wanna hear Harry out and instead believed what other people said! Like Ron? Fix yourself! You’re supposed to be his best friend? Like..okay lets just say Harry did find a way to put his name into the goblet what does Ron want? Does he want to participate? Is that what this is all about?He wants to die? Go ahead Ron, put in your name and let Voldemort kill your ass! Or was it because Harry didn’t tell him he found a way to put his name in it? That Harry kept it from him and Ron felt backstabbed well guess what buddy? You’re backstabbing him right now! Be the bigger person for fucks sake!”

Magnus keeps on laughing while I rant about the fourth movie and how disappointed I was at Ron.

“I mean don’t you agree with me Magnus?!” I look up at him and he pulls up his arms in the air in defeat.

 

“I agree I agree!” He says grinning and I laugh at how scared he looks like to disagree with me. He smiles and pulls me in closer, leaning down to randomly kiss my nose making me giggle a little.

 

“You’re so cute.” He kisses me again this time on my hairline. I blush and shake my head.

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“Shut up. If I, Mangus Bane, say you are then you most definitely are.” I smile a little.

 

“And who exactly is Magnus Bane?” I ask mockingly.

 

“Alexander cutie Gideon angel Lightwood’s boyfriend.” He answers without hesitation and I try to splutter something in response but my attempt at comprehensible english gets overthrown by his laughter.

 

Then I realise something and pull away

 

“Magnus it’s monday!”

 

Magnus frowns at me.

“So?”

 

Has he really forgotten?

“School Magnus? You forgot about school! You should hurry up and get over there!”

 

Magnus laughs and gives me a quick kiss.

“Don’t worry I turned myself in sick”

 

I only gape at him in shock.

“Magnus you can’t miss a day of school just because of me you have to go.”

 

Suddenly all traces of laughing Magnus is gone and he looks at me dead serious.

“ “You can’t miss a day of school just _because of me_ ?” Alexander, you're not just _anyone_ . If anyone is worth missing a day of school for it’s you. If needed I would take an entire month off and I wouldn’t fucking care. Alexander, I know that I’m experienced and I know that you’re very much _in_ experienced but I’ve never felt like this towards someone before. I _really like you_.”

 

I stare at Magnus, cheeks burning and take in what he just said. _I really like you._ I mean I know we’re a couple but to have it said out loud like that. He likes me. The man I’ve seen with magic and cat eyes in my dreams actually likes me. I don’t know how but he does. I slowly cup his cheek with one hand and rest my forehead against his.

 

“I really like you too, Your Highness. And thank you it’s..It’s also the first time I've felt like this towards anyone..” I glance down at his lips then and for the first time I slowly lean in and press my mouth against his. I feel his lips start to move and he wraps his arms around me gently. The kiss is slow but passionate making us melt against one another as we taste each other carefully. I’m about to curl my hand into his soft hair when the door bursts open.

 

“Hey Magnus is Alec finally awake!? Oh...woops…” We break the kiss turning around seeing Simon in the doorway with his crutches grinning like an idiot. Okay, I’m on board with Harry walking in us. Totally okay. But Simon?! Behind him another nurse also tilts her head  smiling at us which reminds me..How the hell did Magnus get permission to spend the night with me?!   

 

I quickly back away from Magnus my face aflame and I almost fall down but Magnus grabs me in time while laughing with Simon.

 

“Sorry to disturb you Malec, but like I said before I need to spend time with Alec so bye!” Simon laughs and Magnus whirls around at him.

 

“Don’t you have Raphael?!” He asks annoyed. “Goodness you’ve been coming in here every hour to check if Alexander is awake.

 

“Raphael’s mother and I forced him to go to school. No way I’m failing this year and I need him to tell me what’s going on in class since I don’t really know your group so much and Alec, Lydia, Clary and you are stuck here as well. Anyway, me and Alec need some bro time so…”

 

Magnus rolls his eyes before regarding me.

 

“I’ll be fine Magnus.” I assure him and he nods.

 

“I’ll be back in 3 hours and by then you’re done here.” He tells Simon before he turns back to me. “Take care my flower.” He says before giving me a kiss. He lifts my head and places it on the pillow before he jumps out of the bed. He winks at me and glares at Simon before he closes the door behind him. I hear Simon trying to stifle his laugh.

 

“Please wipe that grin off of your face!” Simon laughs and I realise I’m actually grinning like an idiot.

 

Simon adjusts me so I’m sitting upright before he moves to sit in front of me on the bed leaving his crutches at the side.

 

“What was it you wanted to talk about?” He asks.

 

I blush and shake my head.

 

“C-Camille first.”

 

Simon shakes his head as well.

 

“No way. You’ve been wanting to talk to me for a while. You think I didn’t notice the looks you were giving me before like if you don’t talk to me soon someone’s gonna get murdered?” I open my mouth to protest but he adds:”If you don’t talk first then I’m not telling you about Camille. Come on Panda boy, you can’t win.”

 

I sigh and then start to look around at any place that’s not Simon face.

“You know..the other day you told me that I could talk to you..about _you know_ between me and Magnus. Um..is the offer still on the table?” I ask nervously and Simon grins.

 

“Ohhhh Alec’s sexually frustrated and you don’t know how to tell Magnus! I get it…”

 

I blush really hard and shake my head quickly.

 

“Nononono it’s not like that! I’m afraid it’s the opposite. That he is holding back because of me. Because he knows how inexperienced I am and doesn’t want to pressure me. But I...I know nothing about sex..or actually I do know a little bit. Izzy mentioned some things attempting to teach me but I didn’t get what she meant…Point is I don’t want him to become sexually deprived because he is an relationship with me.”

 

Simon whistles and laughs.

“Thought you would never ask! Don’t worry Simon the sex guru will help you!”

 

I smile and shake my head.

“I don’t think you should use the word guru in that context. Maybe it’s offensive..”

 

“Fine! Sex mentor/instructor/teacher whatever the fuck! Okay first off: Alec are you kidding me? You’ve been dating for what, like a week? Furthermore Magnus doesn’t see you as a one night stand and he’s not looking for sex in your relationship. Of course sex is going to be apart of it because you want to connect with each other more and stuff like that, but not _yet_. So don’t worry. Also that subject is something you should bring up with him so I’m not gonna talk further about it because this is something you need to talk to him about. All I’m gonna do is explain some things you might not understand."

 

I quickly grab his hand and shake my head for the millionth time.

 

“Simon you can’t do this to me! I can’t talk to him he’ll realise how lame I am and leave me!”

 

Simon stares at me like I’m stupid and points at the door where Magnus had been standing moments ago.

 

“Alec have you seen how that guy looks at you?! You told him before that you’ve never dated anyone so he knows what he got himself into in this relationship. He knows how you are and he likes what he sees. He won’t think you’re lame Alec, he’ll be happy that you’re actually thinking about this in a serious manner because trust me, that guy is serious.” Then he whispers something that’s barely audible.”This is like deja vu…”

 

I frown at him.

“Why is it like deja vu?” I ask and Simon goes silent for a moment before he rubs his eyes. He looks up at me and I notice his face has immediately turned a little softer.

 

“Listen..I was in the same situation like you. I literally went crazy. I didn’t know if Rapha was toying with me and I was a virgin and really scared of getting hurt and used by someone I have crush on. Later, that turned into fear because I know Raphael Santiago is good in bed but me on the other hand..I was a virgin so I didn’t know how I was in bed! It was confusing because I didn’t know when or where or how we were supposed to do it and I wanted to be prepared as hell and actually make him..you know.. _feel something_. Do you know what happened? I was never prepared for it so everytime he touched me I flinched away. Every single time for weeks until he cornered me. And you know what? The poor guy thought I didn’t want him anymore and told me that he’s not going to force me to be in a relationship I don’t want to be in!”

 

“Oh..”I say realising the situation.

 

“And all I was thinking about when I was avoiding his touch was that next time he touches me I’ll be prepared both mentally and physically, but I never was. All the while he took my reactions for not wanting to be with him. When I did tell him what it was all about because I couldn’t stand the fact that he thought I didn’t want him. You wanna know what he did? He laughed and then he got mad because I didn’t tell him about it before. He said that I should always tell him when something is worrying me and something like sex is an important subject and I should’ve brought it up. He was really mad and couldn’t understand why I’d feel embarrassed to do it because I thought the same as you: that sex is something that should come spontaneously and if I go really deep into it with Raph, he is gonna think I’m incredibly lame and leave.”

 

He takes a deep breath and I notice that he’s not that proud of the memory.

“Point is, you should talk to Magnus. That happened between me and _Raphael Santiago_ , the grumpiest human being alive that calls everyone idiota. I think you can manage Magnus Bane who shows his love for you on a daily basis. He even took a picture of you while you were sleeping and set it as his background picture on his phone! What I’m trying to say here, is that communication is important in a relationship because without it misunderstandings will arise like the one I had. Can you believe Raphy thought I didn’t want him? Like hell! I love him so much..” He adds smiling and I smile back.

 

“Thank you Simon..I’ll talk to him I promise. I don’t want him thinking that I don’t want him..because um..I really do.” I admit shyly and Simon grins.

 

“God, that triple date better come soon..Anyway! Shoot!”

 

I look at him totally confused.

 

“Huh? What am I supposed to shoot?”

 

Simon rolls his eyes.

“You said your sister mentioned some things that you didn’t understand so shoot and I’ll explain them to you. Ask anything.”

 

“O-okay..” I clear my throat awkwardly feeling heat rise up my face. “Wh-What’s a handjob?”

 

Simon’s eyes widen and he gapes at me.

 

“Alec you can’t be serious you don’t know what a handjob is?!”

 

I blush furiously and look away.

“You said I could ask anything!”

 

Simon sighs and also looks away.

“Fine!” Then he murmurs really quickly:” A handjob is when someone strokes you please tell me you know what _that_ means..”

 

“I-I do…”

 

“Anything more?”

 

“Just..does it hurt a lot? To…. _you know..._ ”

 

“.....In the beginning but soon the pain will turn into pleasure, anything else?”

 

“Wh-What’s a blowjob?”

 

“Alec!!!!!” Simon huffs and I see his cheeks slowly turning pink. “It’s when someone sucks you off okay?! Anything else you want to ask!?” He answers my questions really fast visibly uncomfortable by this as much as I am.

 

“What’s..umm...I think she said rimming?”

 

I hear Simon groan loudly at the word and he covers his face with his hands.

“Honestly Alec...it’s when….omg...It’s when..” Simon explains to me what it is and after more questions I’m beat red and Simon is lying sprawled out onto the floor, totally defeated.

 

“SOMETHING MORE YOU WANNA KNOW ALEC?!” He shouts. There was one more thing I remember her mentioning..

When I don’t answer he goes up grabbing his crutches to take a glass of water his cheeks somewhat pink. How can he not be so embarrassed by this honestly, I’m sitting here trembling, but I need to know everything that Magnus probably already knows. I don’t want to be clueless as hell with him.

Just what were those letters? I remember her saying something _really_ quickly. What was it? Suddenly I remember the words and I blurt them out before I can stop myself.

 

“What is BDSM?”

 

Simon spits out his water onto the floor and completely chokes on it, almost stumbling to the ground. He coughs as his face changes color to crimson red in a matter of seconds and he looks around at the ground frantically, his behaviour changing completely. Weird. He’s never gotten this reaction at the other things I have asked.

 

“It’s...I...I can’t...it’s very...I..”Suddenly Simon doesn’t know how to talk and his expression changes and he looks like he wants to jump off a roof rather than to have this conversation. I don't think I've ever seen him so humiliated and embarrassed before and I've seen him plenty of times. He looks almost _ashamed_ as he doesn't want to look at me, hands trembling and I don’t want to torture him even more so I help him out.

 

“It’s okay I don’t need to know. Um thanks Simon it must’ve been very uncomfortable for you to..answer all that. Thanks really..I probably wouldn’t have been able to ask anyone that wasn’t you because it’s embarrassing as hell but I really do at least wanna know what is happening when I’m..in that position.” I say awkwardly.

Simon clears his throat still red.

 

“No problemo. It’d be bad if you don’t know what’s happening and you’re just laying there like wtf is going on. It would be hilarious though but I’m not gonna put you in that situation. It is my duty as your man to teach you!”

 

I laugh and shake my head.

“Please stop saying “my man” people can take in the wrong way!”

 

Simon grins.

“Fine. It’s my duty as your buddyman to teach you! So..back to the Camille subject now.

 

I steel myself and quickly wipe away my smile, waiting for Simon to tell me what he figured out. He sits on the bed back in the same position as before and looks at me dead serious.

 

“This will sound crazy as fuck but I’ve been thinking about it since day one and I can’t let it go no matter how much I try. You will probably think I’m utterly insane and that I hit my head really hard on the grass when I jumped from the car because what I’m about to say is not that easy to process and it will sound very unrealistic and  it will sounds as something coming straight from a movie or a serie. It will..”

 

“Come on Simon! Get on with it!” I interrupt my nerves already on edge and he’s not making it better.

 

“You have to understand the impact of what I’m about to say! It will..”

 

“Simon..I get it. Whatever you’re about to tell me, I probably won’t believe. That’s what you’re trying to say right? Now tell me so I can start not believing you.”

 

There is a pause before I raise my eyebrows at him and he takes a deep breath.

 

What he says is the last thing I expected him to say.

 

“Panda. I think Camille killed Aline.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it:D


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors:D

“Panda. I think Camille killed Aline.”

I stare at him before I burst.

 

“PffffffffttttHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” I double over laughing so much that it starts to hurt, tears welling up in eyes.

 

“WTF SIMON?! HAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? FUCKING RANDOM?! HAHAHAHA” I laugh and Simon looks offended.

 

“See I told you that you wouldn’t believe me! I’m serious Alec stop freaking laughing!” He pouts and eventually I stop trying to breath. Now and then a small laugh escapes and Simon pouts even more.

 

“Simon listen. Trust me I appreciate everything you’re doing for me and I think it’s a miracle you still want me to be your friend. I’m really happy that you’re trying so hard to help me, you have no idea but..we’re not in some sort of adventure,crime, action, mystery what-not movie or serie. Things like this doesn’t happen in real life, Aline committed suicide. I know that in movies when something sudden happens then it’s always the bad guy's fault. I know Camille is the bad guy here but that doesn’t mean we can blame every single bad thing that happens on her. But I really appreciate it that you’re trying to figure out what she is up to and...I- I love you for that” I say whispering the last words remembering how often me and Sebastian used to use them.

 

Simon still pouts but smiles.

 

“I love you too Panda. But I’m fucking serious here!!!! Just listen to me…”

 

“Simon. It’s unrealistic. Aline committed suicide. If it was a murder the police would know. I know you want it to be her fault but sometimes things like this happen and sometimes, even if we want to, we can’t really blame anyone. It just happened. Camille has nothing to do with it.” I try again to explain but Simon shakes his head.

 

“Could you just hear me out?”

 

I sigh and nod.

 

“Okay so Aline was a happy woman living cheerfully with her boyfriend. Yes she had a boyfriend. She was always smiling and interacting with students and she took her job seriously because she wanted to collect money for university. She fought so she could get the money and she achieved her goal by coming into Harvard Law which is something not a lot of people can do. She was at her happiest. Are you here with me so far?”

 

I nod and he continues.

 

“Now we have Camille. And Alec what do we know about Camille? We know she is capable of drugging, killing someone without remorse, blackmail, manipulating and she is a technical genius. She may be a sick bitch but she is also a genius bitch. Now imagine this: Camille kills Aline and we both know murder is something she does easily and steals the footage!”

 

I just look at him dumbstruck.

 

“Simon I’m sorry but that sounded ridiculous. Why the fuck would she kill Aline? Does she even know Aline? Simon this sounds unrealistic I mean wouldn’t the police know it’s a murder?”

 

“Okay well..here comes my theory. I did a little bit of digging rearding Camille, asked around (getting to know your enemy as much as possible right?) and you know I thought the whole Aline thing was suspicious from day one so it was on my mind when I heard someone mention that Camille also applied to Harvard. And guess what Alec? She didn’t get in. But Aline did. And guess what? She is first place in the line. Basically, if someone drops out she takes the person’s place. So imagine this, Camille goes to Aline and threatens her, telling her to drop out but Aline doesn’t want to. Camille tries again but doesn’t succeed so one day she drugs Aline and while she is lying down Camille slits Aline's wrists and make it look like a suicide. And you now how lazyour police department is: if it looks like a suicide then why should we check for any drugs in the body and etc. So Camille goes in and takes care of the school footage and then a couple of days after she gets a message saying she got in. I know it for a fact because I’ve heard everyone gossip of how Camille Belcourt got into Harvard Law coveniently after Aline died. And we know Camille is capable of all of this. So..what do you think?”

 

“I want to say you're insane but that prize goes to Camille so I’m gonna sick with you’re crazy Simon.”

 

“I can prove it.”

 

“Theories aren’t proof.”

 

“We’re gonna sneak into the school’s office and hack into the school system and then you’ll see.”

 

My jaw drops.

 

“WHAT? WE ARE GONNA WHAT? NONONONO SIMON WE’RE NOT IN A SHERLOCK HOLMES MOVIE. (AND YES I KNOW WHAT IT IS IZZY MADE ME WATCH IT).

 

“Come on Alec!!!! I can prove it to you!!!! I know how! What can we lose from doing this?” Simon pleads.

 

“Oh I don’t know?! We get suspended?! For life?! And then I won’t be able to finish High School and go into university and move out from home and get a job and have a good future a-and…”

 

“You’re overthinking this.”

 

“No I’m not! Plus that doesn’t tell us what she thinks we have on her!”

 

Simon considers this before he nods.

 

“Can we just break into school and then figure out the rest?”

 

“Figure out _the rest?_ We haven’t even figured out the beginning! This is insane. It’s unrealistic. Simon I know you wish your life was an action movie but sadly it isn’t!”

 

Suddenly Simon looks hurt and desperate.

 

“Alec pleeease. I really have faith in this. I really believe that this is it. Could you please let us do this? We’ll be careful I promise. Even though I’m clumsy I’m a master at sneaking trust me no one will know. Please believe me I reallyyy think she did it, you don’t know Aline as much as I do.”

 

I sigh in defeat and nod.

“I don’t think what you’re saying is logical but we’ll investigate your theory but in another way. We _are not_ sneaking into school.” I state firmly and Simon’s eyes go big.

 

“Please Alec!”

 

“No.”

 

“Alec yes.”

 

“Simon no.”

 

“Alec yes.”

 

“Simon no.”

 

“Alec no..”

 

“Simon yes...wait wat?!!”

 

Simon throws his head back laughing.

“Mindfuck!!!! Yayy we’re doing it!!”

 

“Simon no!!!” I repeat.

 

“But you just said yes!”

 

“Because you tricked me!” I exclaim and Simon laughs even more.

 

“I love how you seem to think you have a choice in the matter.”

 

I shake my head defeated.

“Oh and what am I supposed to tell Magnus.... HAHA WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TELL RAPHAEL?” I laugh. Raphael is not gonna let Simon out of his sight after this.

 

Simon blushes a bit (which he always seems to do at the mention of his boyfriend.)

 

“I’m just gonna tell him I’m gonna do something I think is right and he’ll let me go after I promise that it doesn’t involve me getting in danger in any way. I’m always honest with him no matter what and I always tell him honestly if I think the situation is dangerours or not and he knows I’m truthful." I raise a skeptical eyebrow and Simon smiles proudly. “Rapha respects me alot. He might not seem like it because of his possessivenes but he really does. He considers me in everything all the time and doesn’t treat me like I’m a damsel in distress...In serious life situations that is...point is, he knows that I can take responsibility and he trusts me to tell him if something stupid is probably going to happen. Get it?”

 

“Sure….” I answer not quite getting it. Simon is responsible. Huh. For a guy that wants to break into a school and hack into the school system and investigate a suicide that he thinks is a murder.”And Magnus?” I ask.

 

“ Just tell him you’re with me and that you need to do something you think is really important and that it’s private. I’ll make Raph talk to him but I do know that Magnus is someone who is very respectful and understanding. So... Lets go!” He screams and I give him a once-over with a skeptical eye.

 

“Simon. We’re going now?...”

 

“Okay maybe not now, school is still open...but tonight!!!”

 

Okay maybe he actually did hit his head harder than I thought. First he comes to a crazy conclusion that Camille killed Aline out of nowhere and now this.

 

“Simon. Star wars thing. Car. Camille. Almost dying. Lydia almost dying. She could still be dying. Hospital. Creepy nurse. You got crutches. I got broken ribs. And you wanna break into a school without getting caught……” I raise my eyebrows crushing his plans, reminding him of our current situation.

 

He looks around a bit sighing and pouts.

 

“Oh shit forgot about that...I got so hyped...Okay then we’ll do it after we’re discharged. I’m getting discharged in 2 days they still wanna run some scans. You?”

 

“I don’t know haven’t talked to them yet. But I have broken ribs so they’re probably gonna tell me to do a lot of resting so I can’t possibly sneak into school in this state.”

 

Simon hums in agreement.

“True. But after you’re healed we’re going. In the meantime I’ll do some preparations, I have to buy flashlights, walkie talkies...and OH! Masks!!..."Simon starts listing all the things we need to commit some sort of robbery and I close my eyes. There is just one thing I need to do first.

 

“Simon is my mum still here?”

 

He stops his listing and frowns.

“Yeah she is downstairs and you can’t believe what happened! I was going to talk to her, being polite and all, but then I fucking slipped and fell!”

 

I frown deeply, trying to stifle my laughter.

“You have crutches how could you slip and fall? Was there a banana on the ground or something?”

 

“No! That’s the thing! No banana and I fell just like that! How can that shit happen?!” Now I don’t hide it anymore and start laughing out loud.

 

“Well you never know, with you Simon everything is possible!”

 

Simon pouts trying to look offended.

“Says Mr I-met-my-boyfriend-by-almost-falling-inside-a-trashcan!”

 

I can feel my ears getting pink but I still laugh.

 

Then Simon turns serious.

 

“Hey Alec?

 

“Y-Yeah?”

 

“About Magnus. Promise me you’ll talk to him about the thing we discussed earlier.”

 

I look around the room awkwardly. I don’t want to discuss this with Magnus because it’s embarrassing as fuck but Simon is right about the things he said before.

 

“I-I promise…”I mumble insecurily and Simon grins.

 

“You know it’a such a shame that you haven’t had your first time yet because people are right. Hospital sex is hot!!! But you can’t exatly have your first time in a hospital and you’ve only been dating for a week but hell, I almost felt glad about the whole car thing! I swear to god you should try it out later if you get the opportunity. It was _hot_.”

 

I blush and squeal:

 

“Simon! I don’t wanna know! And how the fuck? You can’t even walk!”

 

Simon smirks but you can spot som pink tinting at the tip of his ears.

“Well Alec, when you’re in my position you barely have to do shit you just lie there, taking all the pleasure while moaning when..”

 

“I don’t wanna know!!!!” I cry out and clasp my hands over my ears and Simon laughs.

 

“Okay okay fine!! Anyway, when you finally decide it’s time call me so I can give you a pep talk!”

 

“Call you so you can give me a pep talk before I have sex with my boyfriend....That I actually am considering doing that tells so much about how lame I am….”

 

“Not at all! I would’ve loved it if someone did that to me so I wouldn’t have been shaking all the time when Rapha put…”

 

“DON’T WANNA KNOW!”

 

“Anywaaaaay...tell me if there is something else you need to know.”

 

I smile and put my hand on his arm.

 

“Thanks Simon. Could you do one thing for me? Could you tell my mum to come here? I really really need to talk to her...but try not to you know..break your neck or accidentally stab a nurse with your crutches on the way!”

 

Simon laughs

“Will do! Your wish is my command queen Alec of Brooklyn High!” I try to give him the most bored look ever at that statement but I still can’t help a smile from reaching my lips. "Oh and later we need to discuss plan take-that-bitch-ass-down-and-put-her-in-her-place-which-is-below-us-in-a-prison cell.”

 

“Hahahahahaha okay!” I smile.

 

Simon goes up and exits the room grinning waving his hand. As soon as he’s out the smile on my face drops and I sink further back into the pillows. I stare out the window again. I stay like that for I don’t know how long but in the end I made three decisions.

 

I’m going to find out what Camille is up to.

 

I’m going to deal with Robert because I can’t allow this to continue anymore with him but first I gotta make mum see that it’s the right decision which she clearly think it isn’t and I’m kinda frustrated about that.

 

And finally, I need to know where he is. I need to know what they did to my best friend. I tried asking multiple times but to no avail but it’s time to stop asking and start acting. I have to find out what they did to Sebastian’s body.

 

“Knock knock?” I turn around startled and see Magnus approaching me.

 

“M-Magnus? You said 3 hours?” Magnus smiles.

 

“I got bored”

 

Shit where is Simon? I can’t look Magnus straight in the eye. Not after having that conversation with Simon where he taught me some _things_ ….Suddenly I feel a hand sliding under my backside and another one just below my shoulder and I’m being swung up.

 

“Magnus?!!!” I shriek trying to get loose but then I remember my ribs and I don’t wanna make things ten times worse. Then I feel something pull slightly on my arm.”Magnus the tube thingy to the drop thingy is attached to my arm! What are you doing?” I lie there bridal style totally confused still trying to motion for him to let me down.

 

But Magnus only pushes me further against him and lets my head rest on his shoulder while he takes one of the arms that was under my body and grabs the drop and starts rolling it in front of us as we walk out of the room. I’m still protesting and Magnus kisses me, shutting me up. He always seems to do that. He pulls away and kisses my pink cheek.

 

“Hush stay still, radiator. Didn’t I tell you that I'll carry you down the hallways if I have to?” First I don’t know what he’s talking about but then my eyes widen as I remember what he promised me before. He smiles and kisses my cheek again. “Lydia is awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot it was thursday so I didn't have the time to go through it properly, sorry!
> 
> So another question: what did you think about little brother Alec instead of big brother Alec? Was it better or was it worse? Or did it even matter? Tell me what you think, if you want:)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes:))

Magnus carries me through the hallway and normally I would have died in embarrassment at all the people that’s staring at me but I’m too busy trying to calm my mind from all the questions and emotions that are increasing very time Magnus takes a step, getting closer to Lydia.  _ What will her reaction be? We were literally driving the car. If I put myself in her position...did she even see us jump out of the car? What if she thinks we run her over? Omg what if she is blaming us? It was my fault but Simon doesn’t deserbve this! Why do I always drag Simon into everything? But he’s so damn stubborn! _

 

“Alexander darling?” I notice we’ve stopped outside of a room which I presume is Lydia’s. I look at Magnus in question. I’m dreading the moment I will see her but at the same time I’m desperate to make sure that she is okay.

 

“Alexander I won’t step foot into that room until I know that you’re okay.” He says determined and I swallow looking at the open door. I’m standing at the other side of it so I can’t see the entire room. The only thing I can see is white walls.

 

“Magnus what if she is blaming me and Simon? She has the rights to blame me but I don’t want Simon to get affected by this.” I voice and Magnus squeezes me a bit tighter.

"Alexander, dear, all this wasn’t your doing. It was that crazy witch’s fault because she is assuming that you have something on her that she needs to get rid of by getting rid of you. That’s a terrible excuse when she doesn’t even know if you have what she is looking for. This has nothing to do with Seb-your best friend.” Magnus assures, careful not to mention my best friend’s name. We hold eyecontact for a while before I break it. He is right..somewhere inside of me I know he is right because this doesn’t have anything to do with Sebastian if Simon’s theory is right.

 

“She’s the devil’s spawn.” Magnus states and I smile a little.

 

“Actually, demons are the devil’s spawn.” I correct and Magnus rolls his eyes.

 

“Whatever, then she is the demon’s spawn. That kind of makes her grandfather the devil. Good enough.” My smile widens slowly.

 

“Actually, the devil’s name is Lucifer and he was an angel of heaven before he fell so he’s still an angel so technically you’re calling her an ang-”

 

“Can’t you just shut up and agree with me that she is evil. And when I say she is evil I mean it literally like, in a dictionary, if you search up the word "evil" then it should say "Camille".” Magnus jokes and I laugh. Magnus kisses my cheek. “Oh I love that sound dear, it’s like music to me.” I blush and look away.

 

“Magnus I’m ready.” I say and Magnus nods.

 

We walk in and the room is a little bit bigger than mine but it’s still white. I spot Clary talking to Lydia who is lying in the bed wide awake. They both stop talking as soon as we step in. I take one look at Lydia and I quickly want to look away. Her face is destroyed, with a bandage on top of her head and scratches that has been taken care of and a bunch of other things running through her body. I barelyeven hear Clary's apology of not being able to visit me. Lydia just..looks awful and it’s all my fau-no.

Magnus, Simon and Rapahel are right. I’m letting Camille win by always blaming myself for everything she does, letting her of the hook. This one’s on her. But Lydia..does she think we ran her over? My worry must’ve shown on my face because suddenly Lydia smiles and waves me over. I realise that we’re not moving and I look at Magnus who is returning the gaze the question clear in his eyes: are you ready?

 

I nod and he approaches the bed. I don’t meet Lydia’s eyes as Magnus sets me down at the side of the bed.

 

“Hey Alec, please look at me.” I turn my head slowly to face my blonde savior. She smiles at me: “Hey, everything is going to be okay. Clary told me what happened but she didn’t need to I know you and Simon wouldn't have done something like that. And if you're wondering Jace and Izzy are at school. Please look into my eyes.”

 

I do and she grabs my hands still smiling:

“I’m alive. We all are. It could’ve been worse. Something happened and lets just forget about it and when we all get the hell out of here we can go watch some movie.” I want to laugh and cry at the same time for Lydia being such an amazing person and that she didn’t judge before she heard the entire story and that she’s not acting differently towards us. But how can she just say that?

 

“Lydia, you almost died..” I choke out.

 

“But I didn’t and that’s what matters. I’m alive, Clary’s alive, Magnus’s alive, Raphael’s alive, you’re alive and Simon’s aliv-”

 

“LYDIAAAAAAAAAAAA” We all turn our heads and see Simon trying to somehow run with his crutches towards Lydia and when he reaches the bed he hugs her tightly. She whimpers and Simon pulls back immediately. In the doorway I see my mum linger, smiling at me and I carefully return it.

 

“Omg sorry Lyds! How are you feeling? Omg I couldn’t find Alec and I thought maybe he escaped from this awful place I mean look at it! White walls with people wearing white everywhere. I can only see white for god sake I think I’m gonna go blind and only se white for the rest of my life like have they ever tried yellow? Or blue? Or green? Or indigo?Or red? Red would’ve been really cool! But seriously I’m getting dizzy because of all the white it’s so much white that I’m gonna get sick or turn into an angel because when I think white I think heaven and when I think heaven I think angels and when I think-”

 

“Oh my god cállate Simon!!!!!” Someone interrupts and we look around searching for Raphael not spotting him anywhere and Simon lifts his phone showing us that Raphael is on the other end.

 

”I called him when I freaked out..”

 

Soon Raphael’s grumpy voice is being heard from the speaker again:

“Simon your friend just woke up from nearly dying stop talking about rainbows and heaven and start actually interacting with your friend. Oh and please..end this call.”

 

Simon blushes a bit and whispers (but we all heard him anyway):

“I love you.”

 

There is a pause before we hear Raphael reply:

“Bye idiota...I love you too.”

 

Simon grins and ends the call and looks up at us.

“What’s wrong with you guys? Why are your faces red?”

 

Now we can’t hold back anymore and we all burst out in laughter amking Simon go red.

 

“Heaven? Angels? God I have missed you Simon!” Lydia laughs.

 

I’m holding my ribs where they are starting to hurt a bit but I don’t care and Magnus looks at me worriedly before he laughs: "Oh and I got that recorded “I love you too” and Raphael says that he’s not a romantic! I’m gonna tease him for the rest of his life!”

 

I take a look at mum and also see her having a hard time holding back her laughter. Soon we all calm down and mum approaches Lydia and Clary.

 

“You must be Clary and Lydia. I’m Alec’s, Izzy’s and Jace’s mother.”

 

She shakes hands with Clary and Clary says nervously her puffy eyes visible:

“Uh Hi Mrs Lightwood it’s a pleasure to meet you..”

 

“Pleasure to meet you too. Finally I can meet Jace’s girlfriend. Be careful with him sweetheart he may seem..tough..but he’s very sweet.” Clary smiles and mum moves towards Lydia.

 

“How are you feeling?” She asks and Lydia smiles politely.

 

“I feel fine. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Lydia Branwell and I think you’re aware of that I’m dating Isabelle..?”

 

Mum smiles and nods.

“I am. Izzy has become happier since she started dating you. Thank you for that and I hope you recover efficiently.” Mum looks around at Magnus, Clary and Lydia. “It feels so nice to have all my children’s lovers in one room. Thank you for making my kids smile.”

They all grin at her.

 “It’s because Alexaner deserves to smile” Magnus replies and kisses my cheek making me redden a bit.

 

Mum smiles softly.

“He does.”

 

“Excuse me?” We turn around and see..Harry…”You all need to leave now the patient needs to rest and you..” He says pointing at me. “..need to get back to your room.” How childish it may seem I want to stick my tongue out to him.

 

Or….. I look at Simon and it’s like he can see what I’m thinking because he grins and winks in my direction telling me to go for it.

 

But no it’s embarrassing…

Then I see Harry checking Magnus out from top to toe lingering a little at the lower parts. Oh fuck no.

 

I lift my arms up towards Magnus.

“Babe lift me up!” Magnus looks at me first in disbelief but then he smirks and starst lifting me up . “Babe your hands are so big I love what they can do!” I know mum is in the room together with everyone else but everybody seems to get the memo and covers their mouths to hide their smiles.Magnus starts carrying me out of here, Harry following together with mum and Simon.”Bye Lydia!” I say and she winks at me playfully.

 

I blush as I put my head on Magnus’s shoulder.

“Babe will you stay another night? I love your company so much!”

 

“Of course my angel, I’ll be sure to stay all night long. Everything for my beautiful angel” He replies and I blush furiously while he leans down kissing my forehead.  We reach our room and I glance up at Harry seeing him all red, jealousy written across his entire being. Simon stands still so he can give me a thumbs up and a grin. Mum just shakes her head smiling.

 

“We’re going to do some scans of you in about an hour so yeah…..” Harry mumbles and then leaves. Magnus sets me down and gives me another kiss. Then he leans down to my ear:

“Jealous, flower?” I blush harder than I already am and clear my throat.

 

“He was just...you know...um checking you out..24/7..I just..I mean..uh..not that I’m going to do this everytime someone checks you out because how could they not?.. like..I mean.." I stumble over my words trying to find a good way to explain my actions. Why do I suck at words? He’s gonna get really weirded out now.

Magnus smirks and leans down to kiss my chin and I wonder why he didn’t kiss me on the lips but then I remember mum is still in the room and feel the heat get back to my cheeks in full force.

 

“I get it, darling. I love when you get jealous anyways and the look on his face was worth it. Lets continue this some more! I enjoyed you calling me babe” He says and wink. I look away and I resist the urge to bring my hands to my cheeks to cool them down.

 

“Yeah I mean damn! Did you see him? He wants to die! You two defintely have to continue doing this!” Simon announces. I look at mum who is standing there staring at us.

 

“Magnus? Could I have a minute with my mum?” Magnus nods.

 

“Of course darling! Hey, Saren! Lets go!” Magnus says before he grabs my hand and kisses the back of it.

 

“What the...I finally thought you were going to stop this stupid game of pretending to not know my name! You’ve been calling me Simon until now! And how did you get Simon to Saren?! Oh come on!” Simon says pouting while following Magnus outside. The door shuts leaving me and mum

 

“I like him. Magnus. And the clumsy boy too. They’re good for you Alec.” Mum says and I nod. “How are you feeling sweetie?” She asks.

 

“Better I think? Mum could you please come over here?” She takes the last steps towards my bed and sits down beside me. She starts stroking my hair smiling at me.

 

“Mum...I...I want you to break up with dad.” Her hand stills and her face changes.

 

“I will not do that Alec it’ll affect the entire family.”

 

“You’re right. It will. It will affect us in a good way. Jace will stop getting shit all the time and he doesn’t have to play baseball that he hates so much anymore. Izzy will realise how fake he is and she doesn’t have to take the consequences when she tells him that she’s dating a girl. You won’t have to...get b-burned all the time and I...-”

 

“and you won’t get abused anymore.” She fills in while staring of into space.

 

“Exactly. It’s a win win for all of us. Mum this is something you should’ve done a long time ago…”

 

“Alec…”

 

“Mum. This is family and it needs to be discussed like a family. I think you should tell Jace and Izzy. Please lets tell them."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are mistakes. Sorry:)  
> Oh and sorry for this being late:(

“Mum. This is family and it needs to be discussed like a family. I think you should tell Jace and Izzy.” I plead.

 

“Absolutely not. Maybe it was a mistake to tell you..”Mum says. I don’t know where this sudden annoyance come from but I just feel like we’re all going in the same circle  _ I didn’t wanna tell you because it would have consequences. I didn’t wanna tell you because I didn’t wanna lose you. I didn’t wanna make things worse. _

All of us. Izzy, Jace, mum and me. We landed ourselves in the situation we are in because we failed to act appropriately. We chose to stay quiet and ignore. If Jace and Izzy would’ve defended me against dad and mum would I still be close to them? If mum didn’t listen to dad and instead did whatever she wanted and if she divorced him a long time ago would she still be hurt? And if I said something that night instead of staring out into space like an idiot, would there have been a way to prevent Camille after all?.

 

“Mum.” I say and she looks up at the harsh tone.”It’s time to stop this. You should've done this a long time ago and if you keep this up with this man then you’re not the only one that’s gonna get hurt. We all are. He can’t do anything if we throw him out of the house. He won’t risk anyone hearing or seeing. Mum get this man out of your childrens life and let yourself have a happy ending. Let Jace follow his dream. Let Izzy date a girl. Let me..feel like a normal human being. We’re your children mum.”

 

“Oh Alec.” She says teary eyed and leans down to hug me. I put my head on her shoulder. “It’s not easy Alec, it’s not easy.”

 

“Make it easy mum. Step by step. First tell Jace and Izzy.” My voice is muffled by her shoulder as I wrap my arms around her.

 

“But what if they think I’m making it up? They think I’m a witch....”

 

There is a pause before I answer:

“Let me take care of that.”

 

Afterwards mum and me talk some more and I go visit Lydia and Clary before Harry shows up to do some tests and he takes me in a wheel chair. A female blackhaired nurse approaches me with that pen thingy that I think is either a  lightning pen or a mini flashlight. When she is done doing..whatever the hell she was doing she smiles at me.

 

“All good.”

 

I smile back.

“Thank you so much:” Before she goes I call on her. “Uh not to bother you or anything but do you know when I’m supposed to be discharged?”

 

The nurse frowns before she shakes her head.

“I don’t really know ask Harry but I presume you’ll be out of here in maybe 2 days.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

She nods and I turn my head towards Harry.

 

“She is right you’ll be out in 2 days your mum already knows.” Then he pauses before he asks:”How long have you and him been dating?”

 

Oh shit.

“Uh..a year?” I lie. I don’t want to tell him that it has only been a week because then he’ll think our relationship is still fresh and can be easily broken. 

Since when did I become so protective about mine and Magnus’s relationship? I don’t have the time to think about it before he asks the next question.

“He forgot his ring here before he went. You should call and tell. You can use my phone.” He says and takes out his phone. Why would he….oh. Because if we’ve been really dating for a year I surely would have memorised his phone number. Damn it we never exchanged numbers! But I know I memorised Simon’s new number that he got today. Apparently Raphael keeps extra phones. Simon wanted to make sure I can reach him whenever so he forced me to memorise it.

I plaster on a fake smile and take Harry’s phone.

“Okay! Thank you for telling!” Damn it. I dial Simon’s phone number.

 

“Oh and put it on speaker and give it to me I don’t like people holding my phone.” Harry says and I glare at him, handing him his phone. I hear the familiar sound when someone opens the other end and I quickly begin talking before Simon has the time to utter a word.

 

“Magnus! Babe, you forgot your ring here. Oh and I’m calling from Harry’s phone. He’s beside me, you’re on speaker…” 

Come on Simon… 

I hear him clear his throat.

“Alec-xander!” He says and I try to stifle my laughter as he sounds like he’s pressing a pillow to his face to imitate Magnus’s deep voice.

 

“Babe are you not okay? You don’t sound well…” I ask seeing Harry's suspicious look.

 

“Oh uh...I’m training Alec-Alexander. Uh What did I forget?..darling?” Oh my god I wanna die of laughter and I know Simon wants to do the same. I glance up at Harry and see him squinting his eyes.

 

“ Oh okay! Well come by later to get the ring you forgot!” I say trying to end this converstaion but of course Simon being Simon can’t let things be…

 

“Of course!-Uh...darling!” He says forgeting to add the “darling”. Then his voice turns slightly suggestive. “ I’ll also come by for other things of course...I can’t wait to see you again. Uh..darling. My Angel.” Omg Simon stop. I try to play it cool but the blush creeping up on me is not helping.

 

“Y-Yeah..uh..see you?” End the damn call Simon! And seriously is Harry so easily fooled? Well he hasn’t been around Simon much so he doesn’t know his voice  and Simon is a real expert at imitating but still..what an idiot..

 

“Can’t wait to have you under me...The things I will do to you when I get my hands on you..uh...darling.My Angel I can’t wait until I have you trembling-”

 

“SIMON! WHO ARE YOU ON THE PHONE WITH? SHOW ME THE BASTARD’S NAME DIOS, VOY A MATARLO! O ELLA!” I clasp my hand around my mouth in horror as I realise Raphael walked in on Simon.  

I hear Simon yelp and end the call.

I look up nervously at Harry and see him raise his eyebrows.

 

“That was uh..My friend’s boyfriend. He probably saw Simon talk to someone he didn’t like and Magnus hung up on us to make sure their argument doesn’t get out of hand. It happens a lot.” I lie and Harry nods slowly but I notice that he doesn't believe a word I'm saying.

 

“You know what you’re doing is prohibited. Sexual intercourse are forbidden in hospitals.” I look up and see him red faced and I don’t know if what he said is really true or not..

 

Then I say something Izzy said once only I never believed it and I still don’t.

“You’re not doing something prohibited unless you actually get caught. And you wouldn’t want to actually walk in on us seeing us…”

 

“That’s enough I got it. You’ll be out in 2 days.”

 

Oh I don’t know where this sudden boldness comes from (it’s probably because of the morphine) but I’m liking this. But I really am worried about Simon.

 

After that thay ran some more tests and it was fun seeing all the nurses eyeing Harry wondering what was wrong with him. I enjoyed their company. 

 

When I’m back in my bed mum is beside me again and I give her a look of question. She sighs and steps out of the room, coming back with Jace and Izzy. Izzy walks up to me.

 

“Hey Alec how are you feeling? Are you hungry? Do you want new clothes?Do you need something?”

 

“Izzy what I need is for you to listen..Both of you just shut up and listen.” Because I’m seriosuly getting tired of this.I motion for mum to start talking. It takes some but eventually she does.

 

She shows them her wounds and tells them everything. Izzy just stares in shock disbelieving and Jace looks away disgusted but not by the marks but by the hand that made them. When mum finishes Izzy shakes her head tears streaming down her face.

 

“No.Nonono! If this is some kind of sick joke you’re making mum then you better fucking stop! I’ve had enough!”

 

“Izzy..” Jace tries.

 

“Shut up Jace!” 

 

Mum looks at me pleadingly.

 

“Izzy how can you doubt this? Don’t you know how father is?” I fill in.

 

Izzy just keeps on shaking her head.

“No. No way in hell. He would never do that! He would never do that to me!”

 

I sigh frustrated.

“Really? Have you told him that you’re dating a girl then?”

 

“No but he would accept it! I know he would!”

 

I shake my head with sadness.

“Oh reall? Don’t you see how he started behaving towards me after he found out I was gay?”

 

“That’s different! He’s not mad at you because you’re gay he’s mad at you because he thinks you killed your be-”

 

“Izzy!” Jace snaps making her mouth go shut. I clench my fists tightly. Enough.

 

“You know Izzy you can either continue to live in your imaginary fantasy life that you think we have or you can grow up and actually see that things aren’t perfect and do something about it to make all our lives better”

 

Izzy sobs. “No..”

 

Now it’s Jace’s turn.

“Izzy if that man can beat his own son senseless without remorse then he can do this...basically what Alec means is pull your head out of your ass”

 

Izzy runs out and Jace gives me the look that says “don’t worry I’ll take care of it” and leaves after her. 

 

Mum is standing there crying shaking her head.

“I knew it. I told you. Izzy…”

 

I sigh totally exhausted and pat the space beside me.

“Come here mum”

 

I spend the next hours trying to distract her until I fall asleep. 

Sometime during the night I feel something warm over my cold body and I put my arm over the cozy material and hug it closer. I think I hear someone whisper “flower” But surely that’s only in my dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translation (Google translate)  
> DIOS, VOY A MATARLO! O ELLA!= GOD, I WILL KILL HIM! OR HER!  
> I wanted to make this different but seriously it's 2 in the morning and I can barely keep my eyes open, they are closing by themselves.   
> I noticed this before and I forgot to tell you, I kinda messed up the timeline a little bit. Sorry for those of you who noticed:)  
> Oh and I've probably done a lot of incorrect things regarding different hospital stuff like protocol and etc but I'm seriously fumbling in the dark, I've never been hospitalised. So I'm glad that in the next chapter they'll be out of there!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors:)

“Pssstttt... Alyyyy!! Allll!!! Alec! YOU MORON!!” My eyes spring open and I jolt in my bed startled and see Simon grinning over me.

 “Hahhh finally that’s more like it. Sorry I got bored.” Simon says grinning and I look at him completely shocked and incredulous. “What? Did I scare you that badly baby boy?”

 

I shake my head slowly.

“First of all don’t ever do that again and second of all...I just didn’t..you know…”

 

“What?”

 

“I just didn’t expect for me to..still be referring to you in the present tense…” I continue still incredulous.

 

Simon grins and chuckles

“Yeah you all thought I would’ve been dead by now and yes Raphael was really fucking pissed. What was worse is that I couldn’t prove it was you I was talking to because the number was unknown!”

 

“I’m so sorry Simon..what happened? Did you guys fight?” I ask. I knew that I would somehow screw things up between them. Wait to go Alec..

 

“Fight? No! I’ve told you he trusts me and when I told him he believed me cz no way I’m gonna pull such a lie. He can just go ask you and Harry if it’ true. He was just…” Simon looks down and shifts his feet. “He was just..hurt. He doesn’t want me to talk in that kinda way to anyone but him... _that kinda talk_ …”

 

I exhale relieved.

“Thank god I don’t want you to fight because of me over such a misunderstanding..”

Simon looks up his eyes big.

“Shut up you stupid! When will you realise that me and Rapha are inseperable! He knows how much I love him! Damn it, I’m already thinking about what to wear for my wedding because I don’t own a good suit and I can’t exactly ask Raph to borrow me one of his suits for our own wedding!”   
  


The room goes quiet while Simon stares wide-eyed and I’m gaping. A loud laugh escapes me and Simon turns pink.

 

“Wait WHAT?! HAHAHA!!!” I can’t stop laughing but eventually I do because my ribs are starting to hurt. I try to ease my breathing as I look at Simon teasingly. “Omg Simon...you’re so far into this aren’t you? Tell me have you planned your honeymoon too? Or-”

 

“Okaaaay! Forget everything I said! Pleaseee!!” Simon pleads and then springs up from the chair he’s sitting on only to whimper and stumble back down. I shake my head in defeat.

 

“Ow..don’t do  that sometimes I do forget I have crutches! Anyway! What I wanted to ask about. Did you talk to Mr Popular yet?”

 

I swallow and look away.

“Um..no I haven’t had the time. I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning or something.”

 

“Why da fuck you lying?” I frown at him and he raises his eyebrows and gestures towards my bed at the space beside me. “Who left those? Don’t tell me it was _Harry_.” He continues sarcastically.

 

I shift turning my head at what I presumed was empty space but instead I see a set of flowers in different color. I think about five of them are violet, another five are deep red, another are white and five more are blue. I carefully pull out a violet one and a paper falls onto the floor. Simon bends over and picks it up smirking. Something tells me he has already read what it says.

 

- _ You smile like a flower but not only with your lips but with your entire being. You’re so beautiful my flower. Sweet dreams. _

_ P.S I think you’re getting your strength back, judging by the marks you left on my arm;) _

 

I flush remembering the warm, comforting presence from tonight and clear my throat.

“You didn’t read this right?”

 

Simon looks around innocently.

“What noooo why would I read it???” I try to glare at him and fail. Then I notce he’s wearing his normal clothes. Or I mean normal being his usual Star wars self which I don’t think can be considered normal.” You got discharged?”

 

Simon shrugs. “Yeah they released me early but said that I should’ve been discharged a long time ago. You too. Your mum is paying extra for you to stay for some more tests.”

 

I sigh. She always got so overly worried about me.

“When will Lydia be released?”

 

“Probably not this week. Nor this month.”

 

“Hey Simon?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What did you tell the police?”

 

“That me and you were n the car and suddenly it started acting really weirdly. The brakes didn’t work anymore and we jumped and Lydia got hit.”

 

I nod but still..it was Camille’s fault and she’s not even going to get blamed for it. But well you can’t reveal something without revealing the rest.

 

“Have you..seen my siblings?”

 

“Yeah they’re mostly with Clary and Lydia but..they look really sad and when Clary asked why they’re not with you they looked even sadder. Did somethng happen?”

 

I turn my head away and consider this. Simon has been so supportive and trustworthy but this matter isn’t really about me, it’s about the entire family and I alone can’t make the desicion of whether or not he should know about dad. Also I don’t want to scare him away from me.

 

“Uh..they apologised for not hearing me out that night and told me to tell them exactly what happened and I don’t know I just...I didn’t want to tell them. I just need them to realise what they’ve done..I don’t know how to explain this but they really hurt me and-”

 

“and you don’t think they deserve to know the truth yet.” Simon fills in and I slowly nod.

 

I look away and whisper “Even though the truth is not really better-”

 

“Stop it. It wasn’t your fault. Just fucking stop it Alec I beg of you.” Simon says stone serious.

Oh god I wish I could listen to Simon I wish but I can still remember his face..these past few days with mum and Magnus and Harry have made me forget it. How could I? How could I forget? How could I suppress the memory? I should always remember and always recall what I failed to do.

 

“Oh Alec, nononono!” Simon leans forward wiping my cheeks and I release that I’m crying.

 

“S-Simon how can you be f-friends with me? I’m useless..sososo useless. Aren’t you afraid that the same is going to happen to you? You already got kidnapped because of me a-and-”

 

Simon embraces me and I start to cry on his shoulder. “Because you’re the sweetest person ever. I thought it the first time I saw you and I knew it that night when you helped with Raph. You’re not a murderer.” He whispers the last words. My body shakes and I give myself in to the embrace even more.

 

“But I had him.” I whisper.” I had him in my grasp, I was touching him! If only I had pulled him up he would’ve survived. If only I hadn’t taken that stupid drink..if only I had the strength to-”

 

Simon sighs heavely. “If only, if only, if only...those are hypothetical scenarios. You don’t know what would’ve happened if any of those scenaries happened. Maybe it was meant to be, maybe one way or another this was meant to happen. What I’m trying to say is that maybe all those scenarios woul’ve have ended the same only with someone else doing it. You have to forgive yourself Alec..even if there is really nothing to forgive.”

 

I cry even more and Simon strokes my hair. “Let it out. Let it all out. You need to grieve so just break down.”

 

“B-But Simon how can I love again? Is this what it’s like to be loved by me? Getting k-killed, kidnapped, almost raped?”

 

“But Alec all those weren’t your fault just like it’s not your fault that that bitch exists in your life. Frankly, that’s Jace’s fault but we can’t really blame him can we?”

 

“Simon I loved him so much. I miss him in every way, what if-”

 

“What if, what if, what if...Okay, but what if Camille had helped you pull him up? What if Jace weren’t dating Camille in the first place? What if Seb-your best friend wasn’t drunk? The way I see it, everyone had a hand in this. Camille, Jace and even your best friend. And Izzy! She was the one that offered the drink right? You wouldn’t have drank if it weren’t for her. So many what ifs but it’s still not gonna change the truth and that is that something happened and that was literally everyone’s fault and it is highly unfair if you solely blame yourself and let everyone that had an even bigger hand than you in this, off the hook.

 

I shut my eyes and more tears fall. My entire body is trembling and Simon slowly places a kiss on my cheek. “And of course you’re gonna love and you’re gonna do it with all your heart. Love is not a weakness it’s strength.Seeing you getting beat up against the wall in front of me gave me strength not to fall apart. I kept thinking, calm down Simon, stay conscious, survive this, for Alec. When you find a person you love or possibly love don’t distance yourself just like what you were about to do with Magnus.Take a step forward. You need to hold onto it and it will last forvever.

 

“You think your best frie-you think Sebastian is dead? He isn’t. He is still alive inside of you, the person that loved him so much. And he will always live within in you because you’re gonna remember him for the rest of your life. The only question is when you think back to him, will you only remember that night and be filled with sadness or will you actually embrace all the happy memories of him and let him live peacefully in your mind?Alec let him become a part of you and when you remember him..smile..and laugh.”

 

“When did you go from sex intstructor to Oden?” I say bitterly.

 

Simon bursts out laughing. “Well dats me! Don’t make me öaugh this is an emotional moment.”

 

“I miss him so much…” I repeat and Simon pulls away.

 

“Then tell me about him. Remember him and tell me. Let him live.” Simon says determined.

 

“But..”

 

“No buts, I only want good memories though. Make me laugh!”

 

I sigh and wipe away the tears. I pause for a bit trying to figure out how to talk about this.”Um..th-there is this one time when we ran away from home..”

 

I start telling Simon about Sebastian and surprisingly I don’t break down and cry like expected, instead we laughed so hard. Clary came in and interrupted us saying that Lydia missed us and we went meeting her.  Group S also came and visited and Simon, Jem and Will discussed the triple date.

Mum, Jace and me are still trying to get Izzy on our side but she’s still in denial.

I don’t see Magnus until the next day because his mother had something important she needed Magnus to do. 

 The flower he gave me, Simon caught me hugging it when I was asleep and snapped a picture sending it to Magnus. I’ve never been so mad at him before. 

I’m about to get discharged and I’m putting on my jacket to go out of this freakishly white building when someone pats my shoulder snapping me out of my thoughts. I turn around and see M agnus and oh, he looks amazing. His makeup is on fleek like always matching his caramel skin perfectly and his hair has a faint blonde streak in it and his eyes look so magnificent I can’t help but lose myself in them and his clothes..

 

Magnus smirks. “Alexander, miss me?”

 

“Huh..?” I say dreamily and he chuckles.

 

“Are you just gonna stand there undressing me with your eyes or are you actually gonna come here and do something about it darling?” My cheeks turn pink and I start to stumble over my words but he puts his finger over my lips to shut me up.

 

“No need darling.” He smiles and turns around gracefully. “So are we supposed to do anything to the room before you get out of here or..?”

 

I look down a little disappointed. Wait..why am I disappointed?  _ Because you wanted him to kiss you silly.  _ I gulp and take a step forward towards Magnus. _ When you find someone you love or possibly love don’t distance yourself just like you you were about to do with Magnus. You need to take a step forward. _

I grab his arm and he turns around surprised. I cup one side of his face with my hand and we just stand there for a minute. Then he snakes his arms around my waist and I grab his upper arms as he presses me gently against him so our chests meet. We stand like that for another minute and I’m too distracted by his eyes that are filled with desire to be embarrassed over that Magnus can probably feel or hear my fast beating heart against him. Because it's beating so fast I fear it's gonna shut down from exhaustion. My hands are so sweaty he can probably feel that too through his expensive button up shirt. We lean in and our noses brush, our breaths mixing together.

 

“I-I missed you” I confess and he rubs his nose gently against mine.

 

“I missed you too my angel” He gazes into my eyes and leans up to give them each a butterfly kiss making me blush so hard and smile goofily.”Those eyes..I wanna dive in them…”

 

I gulp and curl my hands around his shoulders destroying the fabric a little. “Kiss me” I whisper and he does. He presses his lips slowly against mine and I almost forgot how good this feels. His tongue teases mine and I fight back a moan.

 

“Alec! Yay you’re finally discharg…” We turn around and see Simon with Raphael together with Jace who is staring at us openmouthed.

 

I flush even more than I already am and try to get away from Magnus but Magnus holds onto me. He looks at me and says. “Dear, we are kings at getting cockblocked.” Still looking at me he raises his voice.”Jace? Raphael? Simon? Get. The fuck. Out!”

 

In the doorway I see Jace and Raphael disappear and Simon sends me a serious look saying  _ this is your chance talk to him  _ before he grins and walks away closing the door. I turn to Magnus with both fear and great anticiapton. He puts his lips on my ear nibbling my earlobe and I visibly shudder. He whispers teasingly, “Where were we my darling?” I close my eyes and try to calm down. When I don’t feel his lips on me I open them and see him gazing at me. He’s waiting for me to initiate it..

I surprise even myself when I hungrily crush our lips and Magnus laughs into the kiss. He suddenly gently picks me up bridal style and swings me around in circles. I can’t help but laugh and he grins while I wrap my arms around his neck pressing my lips against his once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is late sorry:(  
> But yesterday I sprained my hand and it hurts to write on the computer so I finished writing this as fast as I could. I don't think I'll be able to update on Saturday and we'll see about monday if my hand doesn't hurt much. (Definitely thursday though)  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and sorry<3


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors

All I can feel is Magnus. Him pressing his hot lips against my jawline. Him caressing my chin and my hair. His body gently pressing against mine but not too much because of my ribs. How can a person be everywhere but at the same time not? 

 

We lie there making out on the hospital bed for I don’t know how long and frankly, I don’t care. All I can feel is Magnus placing hot kisses on my cheeks, my nose, teasing me by kissing the corner of my mouth.

 

“M-Magnus..” I surprise even myself that my voice turns all needy and I blush even more than I already am. I can feel him smile against my cheek before he captures my lips with his own. We lie there panting, kissing each other desperately and I curl my hands into his now destroyed hair. I used to think kissing would be the hardest thing ever but actually the hardest thing right now is to try to calm down my teenage body. He nibbles my lower lip and his toungue teases me even more and I meet him halfway causing us both to moan. Magnus’s hands starts to slowly go down to my belt and for a second I mentally panic until I feel him grabbing the end of my sweater, his knuckles brushing by my naked skin and I shiver, not being able to hold back another moan. But he doesn’t do anything more than that. He doesn’t slide his hands under my sweater like I expect him to and I feel bad because Magnus wants more. He probably does and I’m basically depriving him. I pull back panting and I meet his lust filled eyes and wet lips. I gotta admit he looks really sexy..

 

“M-Magnus do you wanna have sex?” I ask without thinking and I quietly curse myself. My god...why must I suck at talking? But well, Magnus wants it and I..like him. I really really like him. He makes my chest go all warm and fuzzy everytime he enters a room. I can't breath whenever he's close and he makes me feel things no one has made me feel before. I don't think I'll ever feel ready for my first time and  I just don’t want Magnus to feel like he’s deprived from sex because he’s with me and I’m an amateur. I’ll probably be his worst partner ever so lets just get it over with.

Mangnus’s eyes widen and he frowns, pulling back from me. 

 

“Alexander…was that a question or a suggestion?” He starts.

 

I take a deep breath and look Magnus dead in the eyes. “I’m ready, I feel ready.” I'm not but I don't think I'll ever be.

 

Despite that my heart is racing and my nerves feels like they’re vibrating on high speed and I curl my hands into fists. I glance up and see Magnus looking at me with a hurt expression.

 

“No you’re not. And neither am I.” It takes me awhile to process what he just said and I stare at him in slight confusing and shock. Magnus pulls away completely and sits at the side of the bed. He gazes at the floor looking like he’s deep in thought.

 

“Alexander I may be inexperienced but this is new to me too. I’ve never been in a real relationship except for once and I want to make this count. So don’t think that this isn’t important to me and I don’t want to force this upon you just because you think I want it. Because I do want it, but not now.” He shifts his gaze to me and takes my hand and kisses it. He smiles one of those beautiful smiles and kisses the palm of my hand. “I know my reputation and I know you might think that I demand sex or something in order for me to want this but that’s not the case. I feel something for you my flower...something I haven’t felt in a really long time. When I saw you beaten up like that I wanted to rip those guys apart. I’ve never ever felt this anger before...when I found out that you were in a car accident I thought the worst and the feeling I got..last time I felt such panic was when my father went into a coma. I don’t wanna rush this because I want this to be special. I want us to take it slow and explore each other slowly. And remember Alexander, you set the pace and we don’t do anything that you don’t wanna do.”

 

All I can do is look down in shame. Here he is telling me how much he likes me and wants the best for me and how he wants to take it slow. And here I am basically telling him that he’s only looking for sex in a relationship. I wanna bury myself. How did I ever get such an incredible man? Why do I always get so incredible people in my life and every time, I do or say something that screws it all up. I glance up at him and see him waiting. What am I supposed to say? I decide to do what Simon encouraged me to do: be honest. If this man is sitting here spilling his feelings then he deserves nothing less than honesty.

 

“ When I first saw you and the weeks after….um..I’ve had some minor crushes before but I kinda quickly developed a huge crush on you but I didn’t wanna act upon it because I didn’t want to drag you into the mess that is me, you had a reputation and I didn’t want you to break my heart because I was sure you would, and I didn’t think you’d ever be interested in me. I thought you were a heartless jerk. I was wrong. Truth is, you’ve been nothing but supportive even when we weren’t together. You never left my side even when you found out about all the things I told you and you’ve been making me feel like I’m _someone_ all this time. Thank you...and I’m so sorry that I just came here and accused you of only wanting sex. Because despite what everyone says you’re not that kind of person.” I admit shyly.

 

Magnus smiles softltý.

“ You thought I was a jerk? Harsh..” he starts playfully before he cups my face. “ When I first saw you I thought I saw a blue-eyed angel in front of me. How could I not want you Alexander? You’re irresistible in every way and I treat you like you are someone because you are. You are Alexander Gideon Lightwood, a kind, beautiful and strong soul that survived the loss of a bestfriend, beatings, kidnapping, a car accident and god knows what your family has been putting you through. You deserve be worshipped darling!  And you have nothing to apologise for, I get it. You’re nervous and it’s your first time and it’s totally alright. Don’t feel lame about it, I’m so happy we got to talk about this.”

 

I blush creeps up on me slowly and I duck my head.

“Thank you Magnus.” Then I realise something and my head shoots up. He has been literally reciting my words…”Magnus how did you know that was how I felt? That I was nervous and thought it was lame and…” I sigh. “Simon..” But how? Wasn’t he the one that wanted me to talk to Magnus?

 

Maguns chuckles and shakes his head hesitantly. “No...well yes, indirectly it was Simon who told me but actually, it was Raphael. He told me that Simon mentioned this about you and Raphael thought I should know because “no one should walk around feeling like their only use is sex”. I know, _Raphael said that_. He makes himself seem like this constant angry guy but he’s actually the best.”

 

I smile shyly. “I didn’t think I was only good for sex, I would never think that about you, it’s just I felt like a was...I just didn’t want you to feel sex deprived because you’re in a relationship with me…”

 

Magnus raises his eyebrow. He gives a little small laugh as he shakes his head. Next thing I know his face is really close to mine and I can feel his breath against my lips and I shudder visibly. 

 

“I’m not deprived of anything darling. Just lying here, like this, is enough. You have no idea what you do to me.” He leans in, closer to my red face and brushes his lips against mine. And that’s all he freaking does. He gives me a single brush to my lips and pulls back. I'm barely able to hold back some kind of needy sound that’s about to escape my throat, making me flush even more.

 

“Soooo have you got all your stuff? Ready to go?” Magnus asks nonchalantly as he is practically standing in the middle of the room now, pretending nothing happened.

 

I gape at him and throw a pillow at him. He catches it mid-air laughing and now he throws it at me. I on the other hand is not able to catch it and the pillows crashes into my face.

 

“Magnus!” I growl and he laughs even more.

 

“Aww are you pouting?”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“Yes you are, you look like a little kid.”

 

“I’m not pounting” I cross my arms over my chest and I cant help but actually pout. Magnus throws his head back laughing and walks over to me.

 

“You’re so unbelievably cute!” He says babylike and starts kissing my cheeks but quickly pulls back. He puts a hand over his lips.”Dear god I can’t even kiss you without burning my lips there is too much heat radiating from your cheeks darling, take it easy.”

I’m pretty sure what he says is true because right now I feel like I can compete with the freaking sun but that doesn’t mean he can tease me for it! I grab the pillow again and I’m about to smack him hard in the face and probably ruin his make-up, when he catches my wrist and pulls me in for a kiss. The pillow is pressed between our bodies as our lips move against each other making us both melt. 

 

When we pull away Magnus smirks. “Wow, all it took was a kiss from my magnificent self and you’re not mad anymore. Good to know.”

 

I gape and turn away from him crossing my arms. Childish I know but whatever! Magnus chuckles and starts walking away.

 

But there is still something…

“Magnus?”

 

“Yes darling?”

 

“You said that..you haven’t been in a real relationship except for once? Um..what happened? If you wanna tell me that is, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to.” I add quickly.

 

Magnus pauses at the end of my bed and concentrates on the floor, the same way he did before.

 

“No you should know. Not a lot of people know this but well..her name was Amanda.” I shift uncomfortably. I mean I’m glad Magnus is telling me about this but he looks so hurt right now that I actually feel the urge to get up and hug him. His brows are deeply furrowed and his lips are pressed together in a thin line. I’m about to tell him that it’s enough, that I don’t want to make him remember things he clearly doesn’t want to recall. But he starts talking again and I don’t want to interrupt him. After all I know what it is like to talk about something hard and the worse thing is to get interrupted when you’re already struggling to get the words out.

 

“She was my first relationship. I was happy with her and she was too. She was the one I lost my virginity to. It was a long time ago and I was young and stupid. I gave her everything she asked for until I caught her cheating on me. With her boyfriend. It turns out she and her lover played a trick on me, making me think she loved me but all those two wanted was my money.”

 

“Oh Magnus…I’m so sorry..” I exclaim and carefully climb out of my former hospital bed. I walk up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and try to rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his arms encircle me and he rests his head on top of mine and relax. I also feel myself relax. Such an effect a simple hug can have..

 

We stay like that for a couple of minutes, clinging to each other without saying a word. We don’t need to.

 

“Darling I think we should get going before that nurse Harry shows up. He has caused enough trouble for all of us.” Magnus whispers, changing the subject and I let him. You don’t always feel like talking about certain stuff and I asked him in a very unexpected manner. Frankly, that he even told me at all makes me so happy that he feels like he can trust me just like I’ve trusted him.

 

“You heard about the Simon thing..?” I ask, an embarrassing smile forming on my lips. I feel his mouth shift on top of my head and I know he is smiling too.

 

“Oh yes and I must say it was a very creative idea but stupid. Poor Simon…”

 

I blush before I answer with confusion, trying to change the subject before he teases me about my jealousy:

 

“But um Simon told me that Raphael didn’t get that mad…”

 

“Oh he did. Kept saying how he will show his idiota not to do that again. He was quite mad”

 

I pull back suddenly and look at Magnus with worry and panic.

“Wait, what?! Raphael doesn’t hit Simon or anything right? He doesn’t hurt him right?” I ask suddenly afraid of the grumpy person. After all I don’t know Raphael that well and he is so angry all the time, except when he’s with Simon.

 

But Magnus just throws his head back laughing and winks. “ Depends on what you mean with hitting and hurting darling” 

 

Fear should probably be hitting me if it weren’t for the amusing expression Magnus is giving me. I frown with a questioning look.

 

“I don’t get it…”

 

Magnus seems to not be able to stop grinning and he shakes his head.

 

“You’re so innocent..lets get out here sweetheart.” Magnus moves towards the door but I stop him, grabbing his arm.

“Magnus explain to me…” I exclaim and Magnus clears his throat still grinning.

 

“When you get a little more experienced Alexander...anyway don’t worry about Simon anymore he’s fine. Now lets go because as much as I hate Sherwin and his endless sentences, I really am getting sick of these white walls. Oh and, I’m gonna make sure you memorise my number darling!”

 

I’m still worried about Simon though but I saw him before and he seemed fine, talking about his wedding and everything so I push that aside for later. I shake my head laughing and turn around to grab my things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My updating schedule is now thursdays and when I'm able to, on mondays as well. Sorry guys, but my summerjob is killing me inside out and I gotta have time for other things too:(<3


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any faults:)

Hodge paces the classroom before he pauses and looks at each and one of us. Apparently the school decided to make him both our history and biology teacher now because some people in this class are not doing very well in those two subjects and they saw how well we’re doing in Hodge’s classes so they messed up all our schedules. 

And well...Hodge and history..fuck.

 

“The Wave.” He finally says. “Anyone heard of it? Well, it’s gonna be a movie that you’ll never forget. I’m surprised they haven’t showed you this in middle school. My dear students, you’re about to learn how Hitler became...Hitler.”

 

What the actual fuck? I glance at Simon that’s now sitting beside me until Lydia comes back. It’s been almost a month and she’ll get discharged soon enough. Everything has been fine in the meantime, no sign of Aldertree and Meliorn, and the seniors are on a class trip to London so no accounters with either Jace or Camille. 

 

The relationship with my siblings is slowly getting better but I still just can’t bring myself to tell them. I don’t know why, maybe it’s like Simon thinks, I don’t think they deserve the truth after everything they’ve done. But isn’t the truth kinda worse? I’d have to tell Jace that he almost got freaking raped and what if he starts blaming himself for bringing Camille into our lives when it’s actually all my fau..no. It’s like Simon said, maybe it was meant to be. Maybe fate just wanted my best friend to leave me. 

 

I turn to Simon’s direction. Sebastian used to always save me a seat even though all the girls wanted to sit next to him he just told them that the seat was taken by someone special. He never paid any attention to class and never took notes but whenever my hand was feeling tired from writing, he would take over and start listening while writing down in my notebook for me. I knew I was gay then and he knew it too but yet I never fell in love with him. With how close we were you’d think I’d have a crush on him but that never happened. He was like a brother that knew me through and through. There was nothing I could hide from him.

 

“Panda? You alright?” I blink quickly, forcing the tears back and I give Simon half a smile.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Simon starts fidgeting in his chair looking uncomfortable and I frown. “Something wrong Simon?”

 

“No..I-I just...I’m curious about something but I don’t know how to ask you and now is not the right time. It’s about..you know..”

 

I sigh and bite my lip. “Simon I don’t think they’ll ever be a right time for that so just shoot. I’ve got nothing to hide, you know everything already.”

 

Simon clears his throat glancing up at Hodge who is fixing the projector. “Your family..they got so devastated after what happened with Sebast-your best friend and I just..excuse me for asking but he was  _ your _ best friend, how can your ENTIRE family become this upset? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!” Simon adds quickly.

 

I sigh again and take a deep breath. “He was..more than that. His parents were super good friends with my parents, his mum was practically best friends with my mum. He got along just fine with Jace and well...he was Izzy’s first boyfriend.”

 

Simon gapes. “Huuh?! Well, how did they break up? What happened? If I may ask!” He adds quickly again.

 

“Of course you may idiot. Nothing happened. No one cheated or did something wrong or treated the other badly or anything like that. They didn’t even get into a fight.” Simon looks at me confused and I clear my throat. “What happened was that Izzy started to take an interest in girls so she thought she was lesbian. It was all very confusing for her and she thought she only liked girls. She was going through a rough time figuring herself out and she told…” I take a deep breath”...she told  _ Sebastian  _ that she thinks she only likes girls and that she needs to figure it all out. S-Sebastian was very understanding about it and even helped her out. She later came to the conclusion that she is bisexual and Sebastian already had another girlfriend by then and well, they had both moved on from each other but they were still really good friends.”

 

Simon nods. “Wow. Damn. It must’ve been awkward for you to be the third wheel”

 

I laugh. “It was never like that..he never excluded me no matter what. I hated him for that because obviously you need to have some alone time with your girlfriend and he always insisted for me to tag along. In the end I threatened to taser him if he didn’t leave without me.”

 

Simon smiles widely. “Oh and by the way? Guess what what we’re going to…”

 

“OKAY YOU IGNORANT BRATS JUST BECAUSE I WAS FIXING THE PROJECTOR DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE ALLOWED TO TALK SO SETTLE DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP AND PAY ATTENTION!” Hodge screams and we all jump from our seats. 

 

When the movie is over we’re all raising our eyebrows. Hodge paces the room again.

“Strength through discipline. Strength through community and strength through action.” He quotes from the movie. “ Who agrees?” He asks and no one says anything. 

 

Then someone raises their hand and asks. “ Why were the students all idiots? Couldn’t they see what their teacher was doing to them?”

 

Hodge scratches his beard and shakes his head. “No. They couldn't because they didn’t think he was doing anything. They were just taking this as a joke and they were glad that they were apart of something, that they couldn’t see what they did to others that weren’t apart of that.”

 

“So that’s how the Germans explained that they didn’t know what they were doing when they were following Hitler? How could they not notice people dying?” The boy asks.

 

“Although a lot of people does it, I don’t think we can entirely blame Germany for starting the war. Look at those kids in the movie, they didn’t even know what was going on or what they were doing. They became predatory and started beating other kids. They didn't realise that their teacher became their own Adolf Hitler until the end when they realised what they’ve done. That, my dear students is the power of manipulation. That’s why we can’t blame Germany just because one person was able to manipulate their way through people. Let’s not put the blame on those people just because another person was good at thinking and opening his damn mouth.”

 

I feel someone nudging me and I turn to Simon. “Exactly. You shouldn’t blame yourself or any other person because Camille is a manipulative bitch.”

 

I swallow and start packing my things. In the doorway I see Magnus waiting for me and I smile. Only the sight of him makes my heart beat and my cheeks turning bright. Something that has been going perfectly well these past weeks is Magnus. We’ve done things from simply walking while holding hands to staying up late watching movies, to facetiming at night to hot make out sessions. We haven’t gone further than making out and then only the upper body has ever been naked. It warms my heart that he is taking it so slow with me because I honestly don’t think my heart can handle more. 

 

We’ve kinda been really taking care of each everyday. I make sure he does his homework and other things because even though he is smart as hell, he is the king of procrastinating, and  _ his  _ role is apparently to make sure I rest properly to heal. I love how our relationship has been developing, in the beginning it was just him comforting me all the time and kissing. Although I like the latter, other things are also nice. I wanna be there for him as well and I’ve been starting to get to know him on another level and I like the simple things we do like facetiming.

 

It’s been easier nowadays to hang out with Magnus and Simon and the others. For me and Magnus we always hang out at my place because mum wants to keep an eyes on us. Apparently she still hasn’t made sure if Magnus is a good guy or not. I don’t feel uncomfortable having Magnus over at my house since dad isn’t home. Izzy fought with mum demanding to know what happened and why dad hasn’t returned home but mum wouldn’t give any answers. One time he came home really fucking drunk and we let him in but he was gone by morning. Izzy was devastated when she saw her father like that. She always saw him as some kind of saint and seeing him like that...lets just say that her perfect picture of him is slowly faltering.

 

With Simon, we’ve gotten so much closer and we almost always hang out at his place or at the hospital, visiting Lydia. He has been nagging Raphael over the triple date but the grumpy boyfriend just keeps on pushing the date forward. Not that I can blame him, I haven’t even gone on a proper date with Magnus alone yet because he keeps on insisting that I should rest.

 

“Hello sweet pea” He greets when I approach him and he leans down and kisses my cheek quickly, knowing I feel uncomfortable showing affection in front of so many people. 

 

“Hey..”I greet back lamely. Magnus smiles and puts a hand over my shoulder while we walk down the hallway. Something that I dislike with being in a relationship with Magnus, is the attention. As we walk I can feel a minimum of ten pairs of eyes gluing themselves on me and I try to focus solely on Magnus.

 

“So darling, I was thinking, since you’re all healed up, that it’s time for us to go on that second date we never had. Not that I don’t enjoy all the other things we’ve been doing but I want to take you out on a proper date. So what do you say about tomorrow, thursday? After that school event thing, I thought since we quit early...”

 

I swallow and take in what he just said. I mean after what we’ve done so far you’d think a simple meet up is a piece of cake but despite that I can’t help but feel really nervous and happy at the same time.

 

Magnus frowns. “You don’t wanna go? That’s totally fine darling, maybe another time.” He says and I shake my head. All this time Magnus has been so understanding and when I at random fall asleep during movies he’ll always help me through the nightmares to the the point where I’ve even been starting to tell him about them.

 

“Nono Magnus that’s not what I...I’m sorry I’m just..nervous that’s all. “ I smile. “I would love to.”

 

Magnus grins and kisses my cheek again. “ Why would you be nervous flower? I mean I get that the bare sight of my magnificent self gives you heart palpitations but you don’t need to..” I punch his arm and he laughs. 

 

Then I feel someone grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me to a corner. I look up and see Simon staring at me with wide eyes.

 

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over! I didn’t have the time to tell you this in the classroom but don’t make plans on thursday because that’s the day you’re gonna keep your promise to me.”

 

I squint my eyes in confusion  and then raise my brow. “I have plans with Magnus that day and what promise?”

 

Simon shakes his head frantically. “Not anymore, you’re gonna get married, you have your whole life to go on a date but not every day to break into a school.”

 

I don’t have time to process what he said about me and Magnus before my eyes go wide and I glance around frantically, hoping that nobody heard. I step closer to Simon and whisper. “Simon we’re not doing that we’ll get suspended or fucking expelled!”

 

We stand there debating until eventually I give up and Simon smiles victoriously and I roll my eyes.

 

“But how are we supposed to get keys, it’s tomorrow” I ask and Simon grins mischievously. He digs in his pocket and dangles a pair of keys in front of my eyes.

 

“Don’t ask, trust me.”He says and I don’t. Because I really don’t want to know. I see Magnus still waiting for me and I sigh disappointed and a bit mad at Simon.

 

I make my way over to him. “Um Magnus? Can we do this on Friday instead? There is this thing I forgot and well..uhh.. I have to be there for Simon.” I’m not lying, I’m actually speaking the truth because I am doing his for him because now way did Camille kill Aline, that’s crazy. So I’m just gonna prove him wrong before he does something even more stupid than breaking into school.

 

I look at Magnus with sad eyes and he smiles affectionately and takes my hand, kissing the top of it. “Of course it’s okay dear, I can wait another day just make sure I hear your voice at night okay?” He says and winks. I give him a bright smile, declaring him the best boyfriend ever. Magnus is everything I could ever wish for: kind, smart, understanding, funny, fearless, hot as fuck…I still don’t think I deserve him.

 

“I’m sorry.” I mumble guiltily and he shakes his head.

 

“Don’t be. Don’t ever be. Let’s go to our next class.” He says and takes my hand.

 

The entire day I’m on edge only thinking about how much we’re gonna fuck things up tomorrow.

 

Tomorrow comes too soon and Simon texts me to wear all back and I’m about to claw my hair out at how stressed I am. When I step out of my room I come face to face with Izzy who stares at me utterly horrified.

 

“No. Nononono. Just no. Dear little brother, you are so not wearing that to school today.” She starts going into my room and I follow her. As if I’m not stressed enough, now I have to deal with my sister and her fashion obsession!

 

“Izzy for the love of god, I don’t have time for this. I really need to go now.” I say irritated but she shakes her head. 

 

“Oh no you’re not going like that. Have you ever heard of colors? It’s a school event, there is gonna be cheerleaders and hot guys in their weird football suits. And it’s sunny outside you’re not gonna wear black.”

 

I inhale and exhale slowly. “Izzy…”

 

“What’s going on in here? Why aren’t on your way to school yet?” Mum appears in the doorway and I sigh relieved.

“Because I’m trying to convince Alec that black is not an option.” Izzy says determined. 

 

Mum takes one glance at me and simply asks. “Do you want to wear that Alec?”

 

“Yes”

 

“Okay then I think it looks nice. Now go.”

 

Izzy gapes and shakes her head astonished. “I swear to god no one here has a good sense of fashion.” She turns to me annoyed. “I hope Magnus scolds you.” She turns on her heels and goes and I mouth a “thank you” to mum.

 

The school event isn’t as boring as I thought. Me and Simon sit next to group S and Magnus and I hold hands for the entire show. They’re football and cheerleaders and other stuff but according to Magnus it isn’t really as pumped up as it usually is, because the seniors aren’t here. It’s nice anyway and quite entertaining and I almost forget that I’m about to ruin my future until Simon nudges me, motioning for me to come. I bite my lip and pull Magnus’s sleeve.

 

He turns to me smiling. “Yes cutie?”

I blush and duck my head. “Me and Simon need to go now..uh..I’ll call you..later?” I ask insecurily but Magnus only gives me the warmest of smiles.

 

“Of course you can darling. Have fun you two.” He says and presses a quick kiss to my lips that leaves me with 3 seconds where I don’t remember where I am before Simon pulls me away. 

 

“This is gonna be so fucking good.” He says and I sigh, accepting my soon to be, not so bright future.

 

“Why are we wearing all black when it’s not even dark outside?” I ask irritated.

 

“Who knows? Maybe this will take all night we have to take precautions.”

 

“But..they’ll lock the doors…”

 

“I guess we’ll have to spend the night and make sure we don’t trigger any alarms until friday.”

 

“Huh?!” I exclaim horrified and Simon chuckles.

 

“Let us hope it doesn’t come to that.”

 

“If it comes to that I’m gonna choke you in your sleep.”

 

“I love you too Panda.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

We enter the vacant school and head to where Simon thinks is the camera room. We walk into the janitor’s room, down some stairs,in through another door, down a hallway and we’re about to walk through a third door when we discover it’s locked. I thank god and turn around to get out of here when Simon winks and does some kinda hand things with some sorta hairpins and unlocks it. I sigh in defeat and follow him in.

 

In the room we see a lot of equipment, some computers and a TV-like screen with multiple squares, representing each camera. 

 

Simon cracks his knuckles.

“It’s time we get her on her ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I say this enough but thank you all for your lovely Comments , Kudos and etc. And for just taking your time to read. You're the best<3


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors:)

"We've been here for an hour Simon what the hell are you doing? We should get out. Now. We haven't found anything!" I plead anxiously. I keep on glancing at the door, my nerves on edge.

Simon is currently sitting in front of some computers checking surveillance or something and by the looks of it he hasn't found anything.

"I'm not leaving until I can prove that I'm right Alec" he says, still concentrated on the several screens in front of him.

I sigh frustrated. "Simon enough. You're gonna get us in trouble and your theory is absurd. Thank you, I mean it, but we can't go blaming everything on Camille as soon as something bad happens because we want to bring her down."

Simon gives out a frustrated sound and start to scratch his hair. " i don't get it! Why can't I find anything?!"

I sigh. " What are you even looking for?"

"Since the clip where the actual murder happened is gone I'm trying to look at the clips before that one. I wanna see if she entered the school."

"Maybe you can't find anything because she's innocent?"

"Shut up I'm trying to concentrate."

We're quiet for a really long time until I eventually grab Simon's arm.  
"Simon come on we gotta get outside."

Suddenly his face lits up and he gasps. "Omg Alec, you're a genius!"

"I am?"

"Yes!!" He turns to another computer and start to type quickly. "I've been too focused on her entering the school when I should've been observing if she even left school in the first place!"

"Okay, so what are you doing now?"

"I'm hacking into the school system and I'm gonna check her attendance for that day."

"Simon!!!" I exclaim with panic.

"Relax I'm untraceable" He says and winks. I cup my face with my hands and shake my head.

I'm doomed.

Simon frowns and then he jumps out of the chair. I raise a brow and he smiles and throws himself in the chair again. He starts to type really excitedly. "Just wait a minute. I checked Camille's attendance together with Aldertree and Meliorn. They were in school all day except for last period which was exactly when Aline's time of deathy ocurred (don't ask how I know). Now I'm checking if they just bailed during the last lesson and went outside or if they actually stayed in school."

I frown. "Simon, I think if Camille wanted to commit a murder she would hack into the school system and fix her attendace so there is no way anyone would suspect her."

 

"Maybe she didn't intend to kill Aline, only to talk to her and when Aline didn't cooperate, things happened. And then maybe she had to flee the crime scene and while she was stealing the footage she didn't have the time to fix everything?."

Then he shoots up again from the chair and grins.

"See I told you! She, together with Aldertree and Meliorn murdered her! I checked the surveillance and they didn't exit the school. They were still in school during Aline's time of death but they were not in class!"

 

"Maybe they were doing something else?"

 

"Like what? Drugs? I checked all surveillance except the one that got stolen. They are not spotted anywhere. It was them!"

I bite my lip. Shit. He has a point.

I sigh and start to shake my leg. I really wanna get out of here before-...I turn around fast and freeze when I hear the sound of the first door we came through being slid open.  My breath quicken and I turn to Simon who's also completely frozen.

Simon is the first one to move and he grabs my arm. 

"Alec we gotta hide. Under the desk. Now." He pulls me down and I swallow hard, trying  not to freak out.

We start crawling on the floor towards the desk and I start voicing my thoughts out loud, "Great. Now I'll probably get suspended and maybe even expelled and then no school will ever accept me  and I won't be able to go to university and then I won't be able to have a future and I'll live on the streets having zero money with my dreams crushed and my life will be ruined forever and-"

Simon turns to me. "If you don't shut up and stay quiet all that _will actually happen!_ " He hisses and I clamp my mouth shut.  

We settle down under the table and I curl myself into a ball and clench my eyes together hard. I only notice that I'm trembling when I feel a hand on my own. I glance up from under my eyelashes and meet Simon's comforting look.

"Relax, I'll say it's my fault." He says softly and I shake my head.

"No, I won't let you take the fall all by yourself. I also had a say in this. "I whisper shakily while the footsteps gets closer and closer.

My heart is beating so fast I fear it's going to jump out of my chest and never come back. I clench my eyes shut again and only focus on my breathing while I squeeze Simon's hand hard. He squeezes back at the same time as the door to this room is being opened. 

I try to inhale and exhale evenly, fearing that panting will only make sound and draw more attention to us. We sit like this for god knows how long until we hear footsteps approaching the desk.

I bite my lip so hard I think the skin broke and squeeze Simon's hand even harder. Then the footsteps starts to fade away, going further and further away from us until we hear the door close.

I slowly open my eyes and see Simon doing the same. We look at each other and swallow and both of us can't help the smile that starts to play on our lips as we grin at each other relieved.

We turn around at the same time to crawl out of here only to be met by a pair of eyes, peeking from above the desk next to us, mere inches from our faces.

And we scream.

We jump up and hit our head hard against the wood of the desk and we both cry out a loud "ouch". I meet Simon's eyes and we slowly turn our heads to the space next us.

"And what. On earth. Do you two. Think. YOU'RE DOING IN HERE!!!!" Hodge's voice resonates  throughout the room and we both flinch trembling in fear.

We really are fucking doomed. Why don't people listen me?! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was really short although I was planning on making it a long one, sorry about that, but I have to pack for my one month trip and do other things. In addition I have work really early on tomorrow so I didn't have the time to make this longer:)  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hodge really has the worst timing ever...  
> Goodnight:)


	29. Chapter 29

Simon quickly crawls out  and I’m right behind him, trembling because this is it. This is how Alexander Gideon Lightwood’s future ends. Under a fucking desk, caught by non other than freaking Hodge.

“Well..we just you know..got lost? I needed to use a computer so I could..email my mum! Because ..uh..I don’t have a phone! And well I heard there are some really awesome computers down here so we went here!” Simon lamely explains and I want to facepalm myself. Really? Fucking really? That’s the explanation that’s going to save our future? I’m fucked.

Hodge raises our brow. “Really? Then explain why you were under the desk?”

Simon looks at me pleadingly and I bite my lip.  
“Because..um..Simon doesn’t know his mum’s email so he wrote it done on a piece of paper that he dropped on the ground and he couldn't find it. It’s very dark in here so I went down with him on the floor to look and turned on the flash on my phone.” I lie and put on a smile. Ha.Haha. Great, this explanation is even worse than Simon’s!

Hodge seems like he’s considering this “Hmm...well the computer room is locked…”He says thoughtfully. I can’t believe it! Me and Simon share a look of victory before Hodge’s loud bark cuts through the air. “I’M SO DISAPPOINTED IN THE TWO OF YOU! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF MY STUDENTS?!”

Me and Simon immediately start to ramble other explanations and sorry’s. Oh god he knows we’re lying! Well no shit..but still! Fuck!

“HOW COULD YOU?! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE CALLED MY STUDENTS!” I’m seriously about to cry because how could I let myself do this? This isn’t Simon’s fault because I agreed to it as well. “I THOUGHT! I THOUGHT….I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU TO LIE BETTER THAN THIS! YOU TWO ARE A DISGRACE!!”

We both stop our rambling and just stare dumbstruck at Hodge. What..the..actual...fucking...flipping...freaking..fuck..?

Hodge face softens and he crosses his arms. “I thought I taught you better but well...so, what are you actually doing here? Because now I’m curious. By the looks of it, you’re trying to figure something out. Because one, you’re looking at security footage and you aren’t doing this for fun because you’re looking at a precise security footage so you have a goal on your mind. And two, since you have  the attendance list in front you, I’m guessing what you’re looking for is a person.Lastly, if Simon is here then this certainly involves something serious but interesting. So what’s up guys?” Hodge cracks his knuckles. “And how can I help!”

Okay. Okay...Okay? Okay?! Huuuuh?! Simon looks at me with an expression painted with shock and disbelieve with his mouth open and I’m pretty sure I look the same right now. Then...we laugh. We literally start laughing and we have to hold onto ourselves using the desk behind us. Hodge raises one eyebrow not understanding what’s so funny and we try to stop laughing but we just can’t.

“Could you two stop laughing so we can get down to business?” But well, we can’t! Hodge approaches the computer and narrows his eyes. “Is this...is this the security footage of the day Aline died? And Camille Belcourt’s, Aldertree’s and Meliorn’s attendance for that day?” We immediately stop laughing and freeze. Oh shit…! Hodge stands up straight looking serious. “You think they killed Aline? If I know Simon right..then this is probably what’s going on, on his mind by the looks of all this. But wasn’t it ruled a suicide?”

Oh no, We can’t tell Hodge because then he’ll go with this to the police, Camille will find out and she’ll reveal everything to them about me!

“We can’t tell you because then you’ll go with it to the police.” Simon says, voicing my thoughts.

“Alec. Simon. If you know something then I have an obligation to bring this forward.”

Simon looks at me insecurily and I frown. Is he going to tell Hode? “ What if I didn’t exactly tell you? What if I tell you a hypothetical thought that MAYBE it wasn’t a suicide?”

“Simon!” I snap and he turns to me.

“Alec we need to figure this out and we could use his help. Just trust me on this.”

I bite my lip and I’m literally about to drag Simon out and curse myself for ever trusting him when Hodge puts a hand out towards me. “Alec calm down. If it’s just a made up, hypothetical scenario you’re telling me about, then it’s fine. But you have to promise me that if what you’re about to tell me is true, that you’ll eventually go to the police and make them pay. Especially that bitch. And yes she is a bitch because I had her before and she almost made me lose my job. Now tell me about your hypothetical and very made up scenario.”

Simon is still watching me and I realise he’s waiting for my approval. I don’t want this but Hodge has fixed stuff for me before and if he isn’t going to go to the police...and he’s already seen everything too what’s the point I guess? I nod shakely, signalling for Simon to proceed.

Simon tells Hodge everything but only the Aline thing, nothing more. When he’s done Hodge hums.

“So..you don’t think it’s a suicide instead you think it was that idiotic trio that did it so that Camille could get into Harvard. They drugged Aline, slit her wrists to make it look like a suicide so the police wouldn’t look further into it and then they went in and took the security footage. Their attendance matches your story and we all know they are capable of drugs. But murder? Are you sure?”

Simon nods and I shake my head but no one pays attention to me.

“But Simon. There is something that’s not adding up here. First off, Camille might have motive for killing Aline but Aldertree and Meliorn doesn’t and I don’t think they’re willing to risk going to jail for a murder because of Camille. And also, she is smart, wouldn’t she have fixed their attendance at the same time as she stole the footage?”

That’s...actually true. I glance at an annoyed Simon with raised eyebrows. I’m right after all.

“The way I see it…” Hodge continues dramatically. “Aldertree and Meliorn has no reason whatsoever to help Camille commit a murder. I think that Camille was planning on stealing the footage after she murdered Aline but when she came to do that she discovered that the footage is gone. I think we solved the mystery! Your hypothetical mystery that is. I think Aldertree and Meliorn stole the footage. If we're talking hypothetically that is.

Simon looks at me with wide eyes and I can tell how confused he is and then I can practically see the light that clicks in his eyes which means he has come to a realisation.

But wait a minute...if Aldertree and Meliorn stole it. And Camille doesn't know...wait a fucking minute! Does Camille think that ME AND SIMON STOLE THE FOOTAGE WHEN IT WAS ALDERTREE AND FUCKING MELIORN.?!

I return Simon's look with equally big eyes and Hodge continues:

"Think about it. They have no reason whatsoever to help Camille kill Aline. And Aldertree and Meliorn are smart. I know because they were my students before they went into all this drug dealing mess (yes I know about it, it's rather obvious). Camille has a reputation so if they really are “working together with her” then what any sane person would  is to have something up their sleeves. The Aldertree and Meliorn I know would never ever co-operate with someone as insane and unpredictible as Camille without having something they can use on her if she ever decided to backstab them. They have all reason to steal the footage just so that they can have somethin on her because they know it's VERY likely for her turn her back on them."

He scratches his head. "But then again, i don't know if they're able to do something as steal a footage. It's very hard. Camille is capable but Aldertree and Meliorn...?"

He claps his hands suddenly and purses his lips." Anyway! Now that I've helped you with you VERY hypothetical and IMAGINARY SCENARIO I have to go back! Good luck!"

He walks out of the door, closes it behind him. He is simply gone.

"I....can't believe that just happened..." I say stunned.

"Neither can I...but he helped us. We solved it." Simon says, still frozen at his spot.

I frown at him. "What are you talking about? It can't be them, they don't have the skills"

"Meliorn doesn't. But Aldertree does." Simon sighs and fully turns to me." Remember when I said I was once friends with Aldertree and I wanted to sleep over but Raphael wouldn't let me? Well, we met at programming. We went a course together and I taught him a lot about computers and hacking stuff. Hodge's right and it makes sense. Somehow they knew what Camille was up to, snuck in here and Aldertree took the footage so they can have something on her (it was a perfect opportunity). When Camille was..you know...DONE,  she was going to take the footage but then she saw it was gone and lets admit, she knows that the only technical genius in this school except for her is me (I'm guessing she doesn't know about Aldertree). She thinks me and you came in here, took it and also changed our attendance and it's not like we don't have a reason to take it. We have all the reason to bring her down."

I bite my lip and glance up at him under my eyelashes. He is right. It makes...sense. "Simon...what do we do?"

"Alec....I....I have no. Fucking. Idea."

We just stand there and have a moment of silence taking in everything we’ve just found out.

This, this could solve everything. If I can get my hands on that footage, threaten her, blackmail her...no! Nonono!

I mentally shake my head. No Alec, you can’t become her. If you do all that then you’re no better than that bitch.

Simon is first to speak up. “ Okay Alec, first off, what is it exactly that you want?”

What do I want? I don’t need to think and automatically open my mouth to answer.” I want three things. For her to not have anything against me. For her to pay. And...I want to...I want to find his body.”

Simon’s face twists in sadness and he steps forward to hug me. I hug him back hard to keep myself from trembling as he whispers. “I promise you Alec. I promise that we’ll accomplish all three of them and we’ll get through this together. Haven’t you...I mean haven’t you tried? Tried to find his...you know..”

“I tried. I went through all my dad's papers and deals in his office but I couldn’t find anything. Last thing I remember was that mum said that dad’s guys will take care of it.”

“We’ll find a way. I promise. In the meantime we’re gonna find the footage and we’re gonna blackmail the shit out of her bitchass-”

“No!” I pull away from him. “No Simon,we’ll do no such thing! How are we better than her if we do that?”

Simon sighs and cups my face with his hands. “Alec. Panda. Listen. To defeat your enemy, you have to become your enemy. There is no way, we have to play it tough. We have to make her pay because she is not getting away with two murders! Under my dead body!”

“Simon!!” I cry out at his last words and Simon’s eyes widens and he immediately embraces me again.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way….”

“Simon, I don’t want anything to happen to you please…” I whisper into his neck and I can feel him nod.

“We’ll get through this. Step by step. First, we need to get that security footage of her killing Aline.”

“Are..Are we gonna tell Magnus and Raphael?”

Simon pulls away this time and chews at his lip. “ I can’t hide it from Rapho. Impossible. And we’re gonna need both him and Magnus. Besides, haven’t I told that what destroys relationships is the lack of communication? You can’t hide this from Magnus, he’s your boyfriend and he should know because Alec, we are getting into some serious shit. I might seem calm but this involves people’s lives! But well….it’s still cool though!!!! We get to be Sherlock Holmes!!!” We both burst out laughing at that.

Simon copies out some papers and we head back. All the way I feel something swell in my chest and I realise, it’s hope. Hope that everything we’ll turn out to be okay. Hope, that maybe, just maybe everyone will get out of this safely.

On the way to the field we see Hodge winking at us and we smile before we face each other, frowning. Yeah..that so-called blonde teacher is one weird dude.

We look around after Magnus and Raphael until we finally find them standing by Magnus’s car. We approach them and Raphael gives Simon an annoyed look while Magnus steps forward, kissing my cheek.

“Where were you? With whom? How long? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Talk…” Raphael asks Simon with a dark tone and I actually get goose bumps.

Simon shifts a little before he pulls out his phone and his eyes go big.”I’m so sorry it was on mute! I was with Alec until now inside school!”

Raphael squints his eyes suspiciously. “ You never ever put it on mute. What’s going on?”

Magnus snorts and gives my cheek another kiss and I smile brightly at him. How can this man make me smile by just kissing my cheek? I bite my lip and slowly lean upwards, pressing a slow kiss on his cheek. I blush and turn away from him before I feel two arms encircling my waist. I swallow as my breath quickens at how close he is to me and I can feel his breath tingling the skin of my neck.

“Adorable” He whispers and my breath hitch. I turn sideways and I’m face to face with those beautiful eyes. He smiles lovingly and he leans in, brushing his lips over mine. That is...before Raphael’s angry voice cuts through the air, making not only me but also Magnus jump.

“ANSWER THE QUESTION SIMON. WHAT DID YOU DO IN SCHOOL THAT YOU FELT IT WAS NECESSARY TO MUTE YOUR PHONE!”

“I’m not cheating on you!” Simon squawks.

“Funny how that was the first thing you thought of!”

Finally someone saves poor Simon because Magnus steps in.”Raphael the boy would die for you don’t you see that? Cut him some slack will you..?”

Raphael gives Magnus an angry look. “You take care of your own boyfriend and I take care of mine.” He once again faces the very nervous Simon and I feel so bad for me. He’s going through all this because of me but didn’t we agree on telling them? I don’t get it...oh! Oh! I never said yes. Is that it? He’s waiting for my approval? Again? Or..? 

Raphael observes Simon from top to toe.” Simon...did you...did you break in somewhere?!”

Simon jumps at that and he gives me a desperate look. So he was waiting for me to say yes! My heart swells once agian at how loyal and kind Simon is to me and how much I don't freaking deserve him!

I nod frantically. “Simon just tell him!” Because Raphael is seriously fucking scaring me!   
  
And well...Simon starts his ranting and I give Magnus an insecure look and surprise even myself when I grab his hand. I don’t want him to think that I wanted to hide this from him. He gives me a look of question before he slowly kisses the back of my hand and I give him a small smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading:)  
> Guys I'm writing this from my phone so it's very likely you'll find mistakes sorry!  
> If you find something seriously wrong just tell me because well, you all know autocorrect!   
> Have a nice day:)


	30. Chapter 30

Raphael crosses his arms and curses in spanish. “You two are reckless, thoughtless, idiotic-..!”

“But smart.” Magnus interrupts and gives us a proud smile. “Way to go team Salec, now we can take down this psycho.”

Raphael looks at Magnus with warning. Simon’s entire face lights up.”Salec?! Did you hear that Rapha? Omg we have a ship name Alec!” He says like he can’t believe it and then jumps at me, squishing me with his body.

I whimper when he squeezes too much, my body still being a bit sore.

“That’s enough idiota” Who would’ve thought that Raphael would be my savior.

Simon releases me and apologises.  
“Salec. Saaalec. Sounds so good, nice one Magnus! Saleeeeec!”

“Goodness grief, this boyfriend of mine..” Raphael mumbles. “Idiota focus on what’s important!”

Simon snaps out of it and turns serious. “Oh yeah, right!”

“So what now dectective Lewis.” Magnus asks and squeezes my hand.

Simon turns to me.”Alec?”

I sigh. “SIMON says we have to get our hands on that footage from Aldertree and Meliorn. I THINK that that’s too rash, we don’t know if they have it for sure. It makes sense yes but we’re still not 100% sure.”

“Shut up Alec/Alexander!” Magnus and Simon says at the same time and I cross my arms.

“What if me and Alec pass by Aldertree’s house pretending that we want to help him catch up because he hasn’t been attending school? And if he’s not home which I don’t think he is, we’ll sit down with his mother a little bit and then sneak up to his room. We’ll figure something out. Tomorrow.”

I look at him horrified. “Simon. Are you insane? I am not doing that.”

I feel an arm around me and Magnus’s rests his head on top of mine. “Yes, he’s not doing that TOMORROW. Me and this blue-eyed cutie here, have a date.

I blush, Raphael rolls his eyes and Simon jumps.  
“ Omg omg! I forgot! We’re finally having the triple date! I’m so exciteeeed! I’m going t-”

“Who said you’re coming?” Magnus asks and Simon freezes. “Tomorrow is for me and Alec. Only. We can have that triple date some other day. Now, you can plan this another time but I’m going to take my boyfriend for a ride in my fabulous car. Bye.”

He simply grabs my hand and drags me towards his..well...very fabulous lamborghini. That’s when I notice it has gotten pretty late and I take a look at the temporary phone my mum gave me and see that it's already 7.32.

“Um Magnus? Where are we going?”

“Me and you darling, are going for a ride and then visit my house. Now shut your pretty kissable mouth and get in the car.”

I blush and without any question, get settled in the passenger seat.

I haven’t been inside Magnus’s house since the day he rescued me from Aldertree and Meliorn. I feel strangely nervous and a bit scared although I know that Magnus won’t do anything to me but still..I feel so inferior in his house, it’s so big and sparkly. It’s so clean you can see your own reflection from any direction. It’s so Magnus and so..not me.

“Now that we are finally away from those two extremely boring people, I want to ask you something. How do you feel about this darling?”

Oh god, can he sense my nervousness about going to his house? What am I supposed to say? That I don’t want to?

“I…”

“It’s okay sweetie. You can tell me anything.” He gives me a small understanding smile” It can’t be easy. You thought everything was lost and that you would have to live with Camille over your head for the rest of your life but now there is a solution to all of this. How do you feel?”

Oh God I wanna facepalm myself. Here he is, all caring and sweet and considerate and the best boyfriend ever and here I am, not wanting to go to his house. Such an idiot.

I bite my lip and tell him the truth. “I honestly don’t know Magnus. For the past months she has been this ghost who's been haunting me every single day and every single night. It has become, almost normal for her to just be there. The thought of that ghost disappearing feels unbelievable and untrue. But the reality of the possibility of her not being in my life anymore...I can’t fathom it. It’s not going through my head and I don’t think it ever will until she’s truly gone and maybe even then..it’s just she has been a presence in my life for years.” I explain while I space out remembering how Camille and Jace met.

My siblings wanted to go to a party and since Sebastian was going it automatically meant that I was also going. Sebastian was dating Izzy back then and they both teamed up and dragged me. It was an utterly boring party. I was watching everyone from afar when I saw Camille approaching where Jace was standing and she accidentally collided with him and spilled her entire drink on his new shirt.

When I think about it now..was it really an accident?

“Alexander? Are you with me flower?”

I jerk and turn my attention quickly back to Magnus. “Sorry! What were you saying?”

He gives me a worried look before he repeats himself. “ I said that I understand but we’ll get rid of her. I promise, and I’m never going to let her haunt you again. I’ll make sure of that. Alexander, you won’t have to go through this alone anymore. Simon’s with you, Raphael is with you, the rest of our friends are with you and most importantly, I’m with you.”

My heart beats faster at his words and I just stare at this beautiful man that bursted into my life through a door I never knew existed.

“I..thank you Magnus..so much. Ever since Sebastian left me, I’ve felt so alone but this past month I never felt like I’m by myself and you made sure of that. You, Simon and even Raphael. I just want you to know that I’m so grateful towards all of you and that I’m here for you too no matter what. You can count on me Magnus”

Magnus smiles and grabs my hand.  
“I know I can trust you. The thing about my father..nobody knows that except for you and Raphael. I trust you. “ He repeats. I swallow and look out the window. It means so much to me that Magnus is trusting me with this even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it.

“Magnus? Can I ask something? If you don’t mind?” I stutter insecurily.

Magnus gives me the softest smile and nods.

“You don’t have to answer this but..where is your father?”

Magnus looks away withdrawing his hand and instead uses both to clench the wheel tightly and he gritts his teeth, focusing on the road.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to..” I mumble guiltily.

“No. It’s fine. He’s in a home.” He answers sternly.

“Have you ever visited him?”

“I did once after he woke up from his coma because of the car accident.He didn’t know who I was.”

Now it’s my turn to put my hand over his. He releases the wheel and interwines our fingers. “I’m here for you please don’t forget that so if you ever feel like visiting him, I’ll be there.”

He turns to me and the look he gives me has my heart beating several beats over each other. He gazes at me with such love and adoration, he immediately erases any thought that was previously in my head and all I can focus on is that look of complete privacy and vulnerabilty.  
God, I love him. Wait..what?!

I blush furiously and Magnus frowns but before one of us has the time to say anything, Magnus breaks eyecontact and does a sharp turn to the left. I gasp as I get pushed to the right slamming my shoulder in the door. After a few seconds everything is back to normal.

“M-Magnus what happened?!” I gasp. You’d think I’d be traumatised by cars after everything that’s happened and I am actually getting there soon.

He stops the car and he gets out quickly. I see him go around the it to my side and he quickly opens my door. I look up at his panicked expression as he cups my face.

“Are you okay flower!? Oh god how stupid I am I should have kept my eyes on the road! I’m so sorry does it hurt anywhere darling?”

I keep on shaking my head at his questions wanting to reassure him but he won’t stop. I grab his hands and put my forehead against his, looking him deep in the eye.

“Magnus I am okay I promise nothing happened.”

“Alexander..” He says pleadingly and my heart breaks for him. Without thinking I put my head in the nape of his neck and encircle him with my arms. We’re like that for god knows how long and I start to blush awkwardly because he’s not hugging me back. I’m about to pull away when I feel his arms around me and his cheek at the side of my head.

It’s not uncomfortable, it’s not unwelcoming instead it feels so right and it feels just like...home.

“Alexander..my flower..” He gives me a kiss on my head and I smile into his neck.

“Darling?”

“Yeah..?”

“We’re in the middle of the road I think we should get going”

I turn red again and quickly pull away.  
“Uh..yeah..sorry”

Magnus chuckles and gives me a kiss. “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”

I give him a reassuring smile. “I’m okay Magnus, really.”

He gives my forehead a quick kiss before he buckles me up and closes the door. Soon we’re back on the road and not even for a second does he release my hand, by putting both of them on the gearbox. Magnus puts on some music and we drive in silence.

Soon we arrive in front of the big mansion. I nervously turn to open the door only to realise that the door is locked and can't be opened.

"Uh..Magnus? What is-"

He unlocks the door with a key. Once the door is opened Magnus stops me from getting out and the next thing I know I'm being lift up in Magnus's arms. 

"Oh my go-Magnus!" I shriek and I only hear him chuckle as he locks the car and starts carrying me towards the big house.

Eventually I give up. "I swear you have a thing for carrying me..!"

Magnus bites my earlobe and kisses that area between the cheek and the jaw. "But of course darling. I like to spoil my little princess."

I go a little red and I bite my lower lip. "I'm not a princess..and don't let Simon hear you say that because according to him, he's the princess"

Magnus nuzzles into my neck and I can barely hold back a laugh. "Well then my mistake dear. What I meant to say is 'I like to spoil my little queen."

"I'm not a queen!"

"Oh hush darling."

"Magnus!" I sigh. At least no one will see me here...

"Schh little radiator!" Magnus opens the door with the hand that's under me and we enter his huge lobby.

"Magnus?! Is that you?!" A female voice calls and my eyes widen and I look up at an amused Magnus.

"Yes mum! It's me"

His what now?!??!! I start to struggle in his arms but he keeps me locked.

"Magnuss!!" I hiss panicked but he only smiles, still looking very much amused.

"Behave my darling..."He warns playfully and I punch his chest, still battling to get loose.

Into the lobby a long, beautiful dark-haired woman steps in and she frowns when she sees us before a slow smile spreads onto her lips.

"Mum. his is Alexander, my boyfriend." He presents while still carrying me bridal style. My cheeks burn and I try to force out a smile.

"Hey Mrs Bane..." I stutter. Oh fuck...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not good with warnings but:
> 
> !!THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT!!
> 
> It doesn't contain so much from the plot so if you miss this chapter, then you don't miss anything from the plot:) Enjoy

Mrs Bane eyes me from top to toe. “Good choice Magnus, he looks adorable. Are you sure you deserve him?”

“Oh mum, stop, you’re embarrassing him!” Magnus says and gives me a wide grin.

I glare at him. “Magnus release me.” I hiss but Magnus shakes his head.”Magnus I have to greet your mum properly!” I hiss again and struggle in his arms because I’m legit starting to panic.

I hear Magnus’s mum chuckle and I see here approaching. She ruffles my hair playfully and I give her a small smile. “No need. I like you a lot not like that other girl.”

When she mentions ‘that other girl’ her face twists in anger for a second before returning to be the nice mum. “I told Magnus not to choose her.  But I really like you, blue eyes”

‘Well I guess it’s a family thing to call me blue eyes..’I think to myself.

Then she glares at Magnus. “I’ll punch you if you hurt this baby!” She turns to me. “This home is yours Alexander and just ignore Magnus.” She ruffles my hair again before kissing my forehead.

When she leaves Magnus throws his head back laughing and I just gape. What the fuck.

“So yeah that’s my mum! She’s very sweet..to the people she likes..but hey she likes you! Come on darling, you know I love that mouth of yours but why are you gaping?”

I clear my throat and close my mouth. “That was...I mean..I can’t believe that happened..I don’t know what to say. Except, how did she get the idea that I’m a baby? Which I am not?!” I glare accusingly at Magnus who just laughs.

“Well darling, I am literally carrying you?”

“That’s because you-”

“Hush now.” Magnus steps into the lobby and turns the lights on and the entire castle lights up and it’s very much fascinating.

Magnus puts a hand up as if he’s presenting something. “Welcome to your home sweetie” He says and kisses my very red cheek.

Not getting what Magnus was trying to say about our future, I just bite my lip and smile. “Thank you” I whisper.

Magnus turns his cheek to me and puts one of his fingers on it and taps it. I sigh still smiling and gives his cheek a kiss. Magnus does the same thing again except this time he taps his lips. I smile and shyly kiss his mouth. When I’m about to pull back he captures my lips and kisses me deeply. I kiss him back equally as desperate and when he licks my lower lip I gladly open my mouth so he can enter his tongue making us both moan.

I feel that we’re moving upwards and when I hear a door closing behind us soon followed by me getting thrown on a bed, I have the time to look around quickly and see the familiar goldness of Magnus’s room before we’re back to kissing.

Magnus lets go of my mouth and travel downwards giving my chin a few pecks before he starts attacking his favorite place; my neck. He starts licking and sucking and I moan at the sensation before he bites down softly and I hiss. When he lets go of the skin I whimper and then I feel him sucking on the mark making me shudder.

“That’s hickey number one..” Magnus grins into my neck and I blush before he attacks another spot the same way.

I don’t know how long we make out but it doesn’t take long for me to feel aroused and I reflexively press up against Magnus making us both gasp. I can feel his own hard on and I curse myself for my own desires because after that move I made, we both freeze.

“Alexander..I think we should stop now…” Magnus says hesitantly and is about to pull back a little but I grab him.

I stare into his beautiful eyes and cup both sides of his face. This soft,considerate, patient and understanding man has done so much for me and I can’t imagine my life without him. I desire him so much, I love to feel his touch, his gaze, his lips on my skin, his hands on my body, all that makes me feel fireworks.

I make a decision. “Magnus, it’s okay, I want this. We can continue..” I say without stuttering, needing him to know I’m serious.

Magnus frowns and shakes his head. He puts his hands above mine. “No darling, I’m not gonna force you to do anything. We have to take things slow.”

I pull his face downwards so our foreheads are touching. “You are not forcing me and we’re not doing anything too quickly we’ve been dating for more than a month. I want this.” I reassure as clearly as possible.

Magnus shakes his head again, rubbing our foreheads.

“No sweetie..”

I bite my lip and kiss him hard before pulling away. “I want your lips, your touch, your hands, your everything..I want you. Please I desire this as much you do, don’t hesitate because I’m inexperienced. We can start small."

Magnus gives me a small smile. “You said all that without blushing! More than you already are that is.” I hit his arm and snorts. Then he smiles softly and strokes my cheek. “Alexander, you have no idea how much I want you, lying like this in front of me with those big blue eyes and that delicious mouth followed by those cherry cheeks..” He says longingly and I rub our noses together still holding eye contact, giving him my approval.

“Well then, Alexander? May I touch you?” He asks formally

I swallow and nod. “ Yes your highness, you may." I whisper shakily and he kisses me hard catching me by surprise. I kiss him back getting totally lost and he starts going downwards to my neck again and he pulls up my sweater a bit.

I lift myself up a little and we both cooperate to remove my sweater. It's clumsy and awkward but we both giggle and I start to shyly play with his back trying to tell him that I want his shirt off too. He smirks and we break apart for a split second as Magnus pulls off his shirt. This time I reach up and pull his face down connecting our lips in a hot passionate kiss leaving us both moaning and gasping as Magnus grinds against me at the same time. I meet him halfway a bit hesitantly and awkwardly at first before desire takes over and we end up rubbing against each other.

"Alexandeeer" Magnus moans and I close my eyes totally absorbed by his gentle bites. It's becoming too hot for our desperate erections that even _I_ start whimpering in need.

Then Magnus pulls back. I grab his face to push him down again but he gives me a quick kiss before pulling back again. Now reality hits me and I'm full on nervous and I'm suddenly filled with this need to cover myself.

"Um..did I do something wrong?" I ask hoarsely and Magnus shakes his head and points to his neck. I quirk an eyebrow.

"What..?"

Magnus grins. "Oh flower, I want to remember this. Come on. Suck, and do it hard. I want to have a mark that will last a looong time. Come on Alexander don't be shy..."

I gape and I feel my ears turning red. I lick my lips. "I'm not doing that!"

Now Magnus lifts a brow. "Really? You literally just licked your lips. And..." Magnus rubs himself against me and I throw my head back, gasping. "..did you just get even harder after I said that? Interesting. Come on now Alexander..don't ruin the moment darling."

I have to admit, me marking Magnus is a total turn on. I hesitantly pull myself up and give him a hard kiss on his neck.

Magnus laughs. "That was nice but if you want to leave a mark you gotta do it harder sweetie."

Oh he's evil...!! Alec purses his lips and leans forward again. This time he doesn't hold back on the devil and bites down quite harshly causing Magnus to hiss and throw his head back. I imitate what he did and start sucking and licking on the mark before I kiss it earning a lot of moans and whimpers from Magnus. When I pull back I feel kind of proud of myself for being able to get such a reaction out of Magnus and I smile at him awkwardly.

Magnus is just gawking. "Darling...you are certainly not innocent that was some major sucking. This is gonna bruise!" I take a look at the mark and it's actually turning really red. Panic washes over me and I open my mouth to apologise before I feel his lips on me again. "I love it. Wanna give me another one?"

I shake my head frantically and he laughs. "Well sweet pea, I don't know about you but I'm getting really uncomfortable with my pants on." He winks and he unbuckles his belt and throws it to the side without a second thought.

My heart beats faster as he takes off his pants and I reflexively look away before I see much of his boxers. But boy..he is huge.. I feel him turn my head so I'm facing him and I notice he's straddling me again. My breath gets caught in my throat and all I can do is stare.

"Hey eyes over here" He teases and I punch his arm causing him to giggle. He looks at my pants. "Need help with that?"

By now I think my heart is literally jumping out of my body. You can do this Alec..calm yourself. I nod.

Magnus grins and starts unbuckling and soon my pants are off.

I glance at Magnus and see him staring at my erection and I punch him again. "Stop staring too much!" I say awkwardly and Magnus bites his lower lip.

"What can I do Alexander? It looks too delicious.." I flare up and punch him again and I'm about to give him a third punch when he kisses me hard.

We make out some more and by now I really want to get out of my boxers but no way..I don't want Magnus too see..what if he gets disappointed or something?! I mean he has had thousands of partners!

He grinds against me and I groan. Next thing I know I feel his hand rubbing me and I groan even more.

"M-Magnus!" I gasp. At least I'm not that far gone that I don't realise that I'm the only one recieving anything here. But should I..? I bite my lip and go for it. I hesitantly grab his member hearing him gasp loudly. I rub a little and I feel him groan in my neck.

Okay...at least I'm doing SOMETHING right..

Then I feel his fingers slip under my waistband and grab my throbbing erection and...I don't even know what kind of sound I just let out but  _fuck that feels so good._ He starts stroking me and I completely lose it. 

"Oh god Magnus!" I moan and I also slip my fingers under his waistband and grab his huge member and start stroking. He moans into my neck. "Alexander, my beautiful.."

He pulls up and kisses me and it's a sloppy kiss, both of us panting into each others mouths. It gets faster and I feel like a warm pool is building up in my stomach.

"M-Magnus..I.."I stutter

"Me too. Come for me babe." 

And I do, my strokes become sloppy and I arch my back as white hot pleasure overtakes my body and I cry out Magnus's name. Somewhere in the distance I hear Magnus doing the same and we meet each other for another sloppy kiss and I almost say it. The words 'I love you' almost would've spilled out of my mouth if Magnus hadn't kissed me again.

We pull back after a while, giving us both time to rest. We're still panting and I see Magnus smiling a little.

"How was it?"

Uh..fucking awesome? But I have to stop sounding like a virgin.

"It was.." I realise I can't talk properly and I clear my throat. "It was..good." 

Now Magnus looks worried. "Good?" He sounds a bit disappointed. "Sorry sweetie.. I wanted it to feel special since it's your first time doing things like this."

Can I facepalm myself? Or maybe someone can kill me right now? Fuuuck! 

My eyes go wide and I shake my head. "What? Nonono! It was amazing, so good, incredible, breathtaking (literally), it was simply spectacular!" I blurt out without thinking, wanting to reassure him. 

Then he grins andI blush deep red when I realise what I just said. I punch him.

"Ow! So..how SPECTACULAR was it really?" He teases and I punch him again.

"Magnus!" 

He grins and then points at our mess. "I'm just gonna get a towel. Wait for me flower." And he leaves.

I sink back onto the sheets and shake my head. Seriously what a devil he is...

Then I jolt right up in a sitting position. What the fuck did I just do?! Omg omg omg!! 

It feels like blood rushes to my skin faster than anything human and my entire body goes hot. Fuck fuck fuck. He saw..like everything! How am I supposed to face him? Are you kidding me? Is this what a handjob is? 

Omg so embarrassing...the sounds I made! Omg lets not remember the fucking SOUNDS.

Omg I give him a bruise!

I should call Simon. But what should I say? Hi my boyfriend gave me a handjob and now I feel like moving to another country and never return? Well he did say I could..

Before I change my mind, I grab my phone and dial Simon's number. It takes a while until he picks up.

"Simon I-.." I start but then..is that a moan? I'm not sure..

 I hear Raphael's voice.

"Did you decline the call love?"

I hear a loud moan and then Simon gasping. "Yeah..."

What the fuck is going on? I'm just about to tell Simon that he actually accepted the call instead of declining when I hear Raphael again:

"Good boy. Now go to the bed and put your hands above your head." 

I hear another moan from Simon.

I end the call faster than the speed of sound. I just stare at the phone for a couple of seconds. Minutes. What the fuck was that..?

Magnus walks in. "Mum asked me to help her with something. Miss me?" He gives me a quick kiss and then starts wiping our mess. Part of it is on my stomach. I'm too distracted by what just happened with Simon to remember that I should be freaking out right now about Magnus.

"Come here babe." He goes in under the covers and pulls me close. "I got you some water."

"Magnus?" I ask taking the cup careful not to choke.

"Yes Alexander?"

"What does it mean when someone says 'put your hands above your head'?" I ask. Surely Magnus would know.

Magnus frowns and strokes my hair.

"Darling, that's what you say when someone is getting arrested." 

I choke on my drink and once again turn bright red.

"Whoa Alexander!" Magnus starts dunking my back as I cough. 

When I calm down I drink some more water.

"Everything alright? Why did you ask that?"

I take a minute to calm down. "No special reason.." So Simon is getting arrested by Raphael..?

"Alexander are you with me? " 

I snap out of my thoughts and nod. He takes the water from me and puts it on the bedside table.

He opens up his arms welcoming me the same way he always does when we're alone. I remember how shy I was about it the first time but now I just roll my eyes and let him hug me tightly.

He kisses the top of my head and whispers.

"You were amazing today. I don't think anyone has been able to get me off so fast."

My eyes widen and as usual my body temperature increases by a million and as usual Magnus laughs. 

"Getting shy now?" He teases and I punch him for the thousand time today, making him laugh even more. I'm not gonna look him in the eye. But then he raises my head forcing me to face him.

"Alexander..please tell me. Did I go too slow? Too fast? Too clingy? Too far away?" Magnus gives me a quick kiss. "Please, I know you're shy and you probably don't want to face me right now but I need to know if I took care of you. I can't bear it if I did something that made you uncomfortable"

For the millionth time I wonder what I did to deserve this man. I glance up at him and cups his face. "Magnus you were perfect. Everything was perfect. YOU are perfect."

"Thank god" He says relieved and my heart melts before he gives me a long kiss. He pulls me close and whispers: "Stay the night with me. We'll sleep separately if you want. You'll take the bed and I can sleep downstairs if it makes you more comfortable."

I smile and then...oh shit. "Magnus what time is it?"

"Late."

"I gotta get home, Izzy will freak out she's waiting for me! Mum is working late!" I start getting up and putting my pants on.

"Alexander!" Magnus whines and puts an arm around my waist. I can't help but giggle and I get off the bed.

"I'm sorry I have to go."

"Fine I'll drive you."

"That's not necessar-.."

"Shut up"

We dress up (very awkwardly on my part) before we head downstairs where we see Magnus's mum. She smiles at me.

"It was nice to meet you Alexander. Come back again."

I smile a toothy grin. "It was nice to meet you too Mrs Bane."

She nods and Magnus opens the front door. Before he closes it we hear her say:

"I hope you used condoms!"

I blush and nearly stumble and Magnus snorts.

"We didn't do anything mum!"

"Bullshit. I heard everything!"

"Mum! My boyfriend is already a radiator we don't want him to turn into the fucking sun so please stop he's dying over here."

"Magnus be quiet! Blushing is good! Besides he looks utterly adorable..bring him here again!" 

"Goodbye Mum!" Magnus calls.

"Goodbye Alexander!" She answers not minding Magnus.

"B-B-By-Bye..." I answer incoherently.

"Well that was graceful." Magnus says sarcastically after closing the front door.

"I-I don't know who is worse anymore. You or your mother..." I admit while I'm slowly dying inside.

"Darling...sometimes I wonder that too.." 

The drive back home is awkward as hell and I put on some music to make it better. When we get home Magnus walks me to the door and I quirk a brow at that.

He wiggles his eyebrows." I gotta be a gentleman, darling!" 

I shake my head laughing and he kisses me and leans his forehead against mine. "Today was perfect" He whispers and I nod.

We stand like that for god knows how long and I reluctantly whisper: "I gotta get inside"

"Okay" He whispers back.

We don't move and I laugh.

"Seriously Magnus."

"I'm also serious"

A loud noise is heard from the house, snapping us both out of our world.

"Bye" I say and kiss him shyly.

"I'll miss you flower"

"Me too your majesty"

I watch him drive away before I enter. I walk in. Fuck.

On the dining table I see fucking Clary shirtless with Jace between her legs, making out. 

I go red and clear my throat. They both jump and look at me horrified. Or CLARY looks at me horrrified. Jace just smirks.

Clary quickly covers herself."Oh my god Alec!"

"Ekhm..no worries" I turn my back around to give her some privacy and I'm about to go upstairs when I freeze. "Jace? Are you back? Are the seniors back from the trip?"

"Yup! I'm back. Your life just got better!" I roll my eyes at that but shit that means Camille is also back. I walk upstairs deep in thought until I...fuck.

In front of me Izzy and fucking Lydia is making out. At least they have clothes.

I walk into my room and close the door quickly. "What is with everyone today?!!?!??"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so just saying, I NEVER write smut. This is the first time, so I'm sorry if it sucked:)
> 
> Remember that, since I've traveled to another country, I'm writing on my phone so if autocorrect screwed up too much, tell me:)
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes! Goodnight:)


	32. Chapter 32

I shake my head. These people! But wait a minute..

I open the door and interrupt their make out.

“Lydia when the hell did you get discharged?!” Lydia jumps making Izzy and her break apart. Both of their eyes widen and their cheeks start forming a red shape.

“Panda! Wh-When did you get home?!” Lydia asks while she looks down at her clothes making sure that they’re sitting right.

“Just now. When did you get out of the hospital?”

“Just now. I was supposed to be released tomorrow morning but I insisted. Then Isabelle called me and you know we’re dating so…”

I raise my brow. “And you didn’t think that it was necessary to text me and Simon?”

Lydia’s eyes drop down and Izzy turns to me. “Give her a break Alec! She just came out of the hospital of course she’s going to visit her girlfriend first!”

I sigh. Sure you can visit your girlfriend but at least text me and Simon. I keep my mouth shut and instead I ask Lydia how she’s feeling.

Lydia smiles. “I feel better. A bit sore but better, thank you.”

I nod. “I’ll text Simon and everyone else.” I go back into my room.

I fish out my temporary phone and text Simon and Group S that Lydia got discharged. They let me in on their groupchat since I’m “Magnus’s boyfriend right now” so it gives me, like Simon, a free ticket into their group. So I guess Group Seven just became Group Nine? Who would’ve thought I’d get so many friends?

**Darthvader:**  
**What the actual fuck?!?! She didn’t text us?! Rude as fuck?!**

**Jem:**  
**Calm down maybe she didn’t have the time**

**Will:**  
**Hell no. I’m with Simon, that’s rude!**

**Cat:**  
**Well I bet she had more important things to do. I bet she’s with Izzy.**

I laugh out loud and answer:

**Panda:**  
**Well..I walked in on them making out…**

**Tessa:**  
**With or without clothes?**

**DarthVader:**  
**What the?! Fucking rude?! She ran to her girlfriend and didn’t bother to tell us?!**

Then Magnus answers.

**Mags:**  
**Haha come on, she was in a hospital, it’s normal to feel sex deprived;)**

**Ragnor:**  
**We aren’t all like you, Magnus.**

**Jem:**  
**Hahaha**

**Will:**  
**Did you take pictures of them naked?**

**Jem:**  
**WILL!!!**

**Will:**  
**What..!**

**Panda:**  
**I did not take pictures and they weren’t naked!**

**Will and Magnus:**  
**Shame…**

**Tessa:**  
**You two are impossible.**

**DarthVader:**  
**Guys when is that triple date happening?!**

**Magnus:**  
**Lets go in two days. That’s perfect.**

**Jem:**  
**So saturday?**

**Will:**  
**Me, Jem, Simon, Raphael, Magnus and Alec?**

**DarthVader:**  
**Yup!! FUCK I’m sooooo exciteeeed!!! I’ll pick a perfect place!**

**Ragnor:**  
**You guys are so unnecessary. Why not tomorrow?**

**Darthvader:**  
**Malec is going on a date.**

**Catarina:**  
**Let them do whatever they want Ragnor. Oh..Malec date.**

**Magnus:**  
**What do you think Alec?**

**Panda:**  
**Saturday is good I guess. Jem and Will? You okay with it?**

**Jem:**  
**Sure**

**Will:**  
**Heeell yeah!**

**Simon:**  
**But seriously though, fuck Lydia!**

**Will:**  
**I know! And we were going to visit her tomorrow at the hospital!**

**Raphael Santiago:**  
**IF YOU GUYS DON’T SHUT UP AND STOP MAKING MY PHONE EXPLODE I’LL MAKE IT SO THAT YOU ALL END UP IN THE HOSPITAL! YOU'LL REPLACE LYDIA'S BED! GOT IT?!**

**Magnus:**  
**Hahaha**

**Jem:**  
**Jeez..**

**Will:**  
**Someone is frustrated…**

**Catarina:**  
**Sorry**

**Ragnor:**  
**Finally someone said something...thanks Raphael.**

**Tessa:**  
**Goodnight.**

**Raphael Santiago:**  
**WHY IS MY PHONE STILL EXPLODING?**!

Then everyone says sorry and shuts up. I hear another *ping* on my phone and I look and see that Simon has sent something.

**DarthVader: Raphaaa *kissing heart emojii* x6**

**Raphael Santiago:....**

Aren't they together right now? Did they finish whatever police game they were playing? Well whatever.

I hear another *ping* and I go into me and Magnus’s private chat.

**Mags:**  
**Goodnight beautiful. Hope Ur looking forward to tomorrow;)**

**Sweet Pea:**  
**Goodnight. Of course I am..**

**Mags:**  
**Sweet dreams**

**Sweet Pea:**  
**Um thanks. You too**

**Mags:**  
**;))**

**Sweet Pea:**  
**:)**

I close the phone and slip under my blanket trying not to think about the date tomorrow.

\----------  
“ALEC WAKE THE FUCK UP!!”

I jolt upwards and I put my hands up in a defensive gesture. Izzy stares at me sheepishly.

“What? You thought a demon was going to attack you? Get up! Just because it’s a studyday today doesn’t mean you’re gonna sleep all day! You gotta help me with my studies!

“Mmm” I murmur and I’m about to go to sleep when I open my eyes again. “Izzy? What time is it?”

“It’s 15.00. Why?”

I groan and quickly push away my blanket. “Fuck I have a date with Magnus in 3 hours!”

“Wait whaaaaat?! Omg Alec how could you not tell me?!” Izzy grabs my arm and shoves me back into the bed. “Stay still! You have a date with Magnus Bane and the only person who can fix you the best outfit is Isabelle Lightwood.”

I sigh. I hate this but I can’t help but want to look at least A BIT nice in front of Magnus.

Izzy starts to toss different clothings onto the bed saying “no” or “maybe” to each shirt or pants.

Finally she matches black pants with a deep red button up. “Now, this will suit you. And it'll bring out your eyes a bit.”

She urges me to eat breakfast and afterwards go take a shower and I do. I glance at the clock, only one hour and a half left but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep myself sane for one more minute.

I keep on pacing in my room naked with a towel tied around my waist. What if he doesn’t like my appearance? Where is he even taking me? Or...am I supposed to take HIM somewhere? Oh god..!

Right on cue my phone rings and I see “DarthVader” on my display. I quickly accept the call.

“Simon omg I’m panicking! I don’t know what to do! Am I supposed to take him somewhere or is he supposed to take me somewhere?! I don’t get it?!”

I spilling all my insecurities for the date.

I hear Simon laugh. “I knew you were probably panicking by now. Listen-..”

“Idiota you’re stressing yourself out for nothing. And no, Magnus is going to take you somewhere. Chill. So irritating.” Raphael interrupts.

“Rapha! He’s nervous!” Simon shouts back and then continues to talk to me. “Everything’s gonna be alright. Just stay calm and let him handle everything, he’s not gonna get bored or something like that, trust me, if you are a boring person, I would’ve never become your friend. No offence.”

I smile at that. I inhale and exhale slowly, feeling myself calm down a bit. “Okay, thank you Simon I needed that.”

“Any time! I know the first date is always the most difficult one. I was soooo terrified for my first date with Raphie. Like I was literally going on a date with the devil’s son, at least Magnus is a kind person. I was shaking all the time but no, Raph was such a gentleman and grabbed my hand, looked at me lovingly and kissed my-..”

“And I think this is the end of this conversation. Adios Idiota.” Raphael interrupts again and ends the call.

I frown at the phone and shake my head before Izzy almost breaks down my door. “Omg you’re still naked! Off with the towel and put on the clothes I chose for you. Now! You have less than an hour to get ready!”

“Okay okay! Can you get out so I can dress up?” God Izzy, as if I’m not nervous enough she just has to make me more stressed.

She rolls her eyes and tells me to hurry before she walks out the door.

I quickly dress up and call on her.

“Alec your hair is a mess. Stay here.” She goes out of the room and returns with a bottle of gel probably from Jace. She starts putting some on my hair, fixing it.

“Ohh do you want to put on some make up?!” Izzy asks enthusiastically and I shake my head. As much as I wanna look nice in front of Magnus, I have my limits too. Izzy pouts and mumbles. “Magnus would love it..”

I smile a little. Izzy and I have become a little bit closer, not as much as before but still. Both Jace and her still want to know what happened that night but they’re waiting for me to tell them without any pressure.

When we’re done we step out of my room and head down the stairs. We’re greeted by Jace and mum who both look up and stares me down from top to toe. Jace whistles and Maryse smiles.

“I guess someone is going on a date todayyy” Jace teases and Izzy glares at him.

Maryse smiles at me. “You look handsome Alec.” I smile back and the doorbell goes off.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit…, I start singing the words “shit” and “fuck” repeatedly in my head as Izzy drags me to the door.

I open the door and...ha.ha.fuck. In front of me freaking Magnus is standing there looking like a freaking greek god with his tight blue jeans and shimmering grey button up and his make up and his blue streaks in his hair and his-

“Alec!” Izzy clicks her fingers in front of my face and I snap out of my faze.”He’s talking to you. I know he looks stunning but seriously Alec if you’re going to be like this the entire date…”

I flush and glare at her. Magnus only laughs and I notice he’s staring me down just like mum and Jace did. I gulp and look away before I feel his warm fingers caressing my cheek. I face him and stare into his green like eyes. “You look absolutely stunning flower.” He whispers and I blush even more and give him a small smile.

We stay like that until Izzy clears her throat. “Ekhm..I chose that outfit just saying. Sorry Alec but I want credit.”

I roll my eyes and Magnus laughs before facing Izzy. “Of course darling, thank you, although he doesn’t need all of this to look absolutely gorgeous.”

Izzy squints her eyes before nodding and she glances at me while pointing at Magnus. “I approve of him.” Magnus smiles and I roll my eyes again.

“Well I AM still not approving anything before I see Alec getting jewelries made of gold.” I turn around and see Maryse and Jace standing next to us in the doorway. Jace continues.”Gold or diamond. You pick.”

“Shut up Jace.” Mum says.

“Thank you mum.” I exclaim. At least she’s on my side…

Maryse takes a step towards Magnus and puts both of her hands on either side of his shoulders and squeezes hard.

“Listen Magnus Bane, if you don’t bring Alec back by 10 SAFE AND SOUND, I will cut out your balls and make you eat them for supper. Got it?”

“Mum! Oh my god!!” I scream.

Magnus’s smile disappears and I can see him gulp. “I promise. I’ll even bring him back before 10!” Magnus tries.

Maryse’s face moves closer to Magnus’s. After what seems like one hour of silence Maryse whispers: “ You better..”Then her face breaks into a smile and she kisses my cheek. “Have fun you two!”

I grab Magnus’s hand and run towards Magnus’s car. When we reach the car we climb in and he quickly starts driving.

“And you complain about MY mum?!!” Magnus shouts still a bit shaken by the threat of Maryse Lightwood.

I laugh out loud. “Well..she only threatened you! Your mum-..”

“My mum was teasing you! She was being a nice person!”

I grin and rest my head on Magnus’s shoulder. He huffs. “I hope she doesn’t kill me.”

We spend the rest of the way talking about Maryse’s angriness.

Then Magnus suddenly stops at a parking lot in front of what looks like a really fucking fancy restaurant that’s practically glowing. I would think the place is a castle if there isn't a sign in front of it stating that it’s a restaurant.

Magnus goes around the car and opens my door. “Uh..Magnus? I don’t really think this is a good place for me..” I say without thinking and I curse myself immediately. Magnus has put so much thought into this and I’m refusing like a baby.

But Magnus only smiles. “I know. YOU are too fancy for this place but it’ll have to do. Now come on.” I swallow and take his hand.

We walk inside the restaurant and we’re met by a fancy looking butler that directs us to our table. Eveyone here look like royal queens and kings with their outfits and fancy glittery dresses. We sit down and the butler hands us the menu.

“Pick whatever you want Alexander.” Magnus says and I nod.

I open the menu. Uhhh….what the fuck. Is this french? Greek? Chinese? Wait..is that a fucking ice cream? What are these names?

“Uh..Magnus? I don’t think I can read anymore the words are blurry and I can’t understand them.”

Magnus laughs. “No your reading is perfectly fine. I’m sorry I forgot that you don’t know any of these dishes. I can choose for you if you want? Do you want fish or chicken? Or perhaps meat?”

“Uh..chicken?”

We order and then after a few minutes a waitress comes. In front of me a plate full of chicken and rice and sauce and whatever the fuck the rest is, appears.

“You want to taste from my plate?” Magnus asks politely.

Magnus’s plate..yeah I have no idea...is that a..? Is that a fucking claw that's sticking out?

Yeah I’m not fucking with this shit.”No thanks” I smile before I dig into my own food and shit, I almost moan at the taste. So delicious..

“Do you like the food?” The waitress asks us and we nod. Then she winks at me and I frown.

“Is there something wrong with your eye?” I ask concerned. She turns red and Magnus laughs.

“Sorry, he’s my boyfriend which means he is T.A.K.E.N.” Magnus states sassily and I blush a bit. Why did he say that? When she’s gone I look at him with raised eyebrows and he sighs.

“Alexander, the girl was flirting with you.”

My eyes go wide. “What? Wh-Why would she be flirting with me and not you?”

Magnus smiles. “Because you look absolutely stunning my dear.”

“What…” I blush even more. “You look even more handsome though.” I admit shyly.

“Noop you are more handsome” Magnus says.

“No you are.” I say.

“You are.”

“No you are!”

“This is getting ridiculous dear.”

“Lets just eat.” I laugh and he grins.

After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence Magnus asks:  
“Alexander? What are your plans for your future? Have you thought about it?”

I bite my lip. “I know what I WANT to do. But I don’t know if I should..” I stop eating and look down onto my plate. I feel his hand resting on top of mine.

“Tell me.”

“I..wanna become an actor..? But I know it’s really difficult and I won’t earn a lot at first. Mum expects me to become a doctor…”

Magnus caresses my hand. “I think you'd become a great actor and if that’s your dream then just go for it and don’t listen to anyone. If everything goes south, you can still become a doctor.”

I smile insecurily and nod. “What about you?”

Magnus’s expression goes a bit distant and he shakes his head. “ I don’t know. Honestly, I’m very lost.”

“C-Can I help?”

“Sure”

“Fashion designer and then start your own company and sell your own brands.”

Magnus’s eyebrows shoot up and for a moment I think he thinks it’s a bad idea until he smiles a little.

“I haven’t exactly thought of that before. Fashion designer..it seems difficult. Do you think I’ll be able to do it?”

I blink. I shouldn’t be thinking this but it’s always a surprise to see Magnus so insecure about something, so vulnerable in a way. At school he’s always so confident and flamboyant and it warms me that I’m one of the few people that has seen this side of him.

“Magnus. Look at your clothes. You make something from the forties look modern. You can take something from the twenties and make it a fashion code. You are perfect for the job”

He smiles and kisses my palm. “Thank you. I know it’s too soon to be thinking about this but I thought that in seventh grade and poof, 3 years went by in the blink of an eye.”

I shake my head. “No it’s totally normal. It’s better if you know now.”

He nods and we continue to eat and make small talk. We laugh a lot and we're generally having a good time. Then it’s time to pay the bill. Jesus christ...I’m afraid to ask.

“Uh..check please?” I request and the butler gives us a black book.

I open it and hooooooly shiiiit! How many zeros is that?! I think I brought 100 dollars with me? Maybe 200? That’s not even enough to cover half of the prize. My fingers starts to shake and I don’t know what to do. Then Magnus grabs my hand and kisses it and hands the butler his credit card.

“What Magnus no! It’s too expensive!”

“Schh! I asked you out which means I’m paying” We argue for a while until I eventually give in.

We walk out of the restaurant hand in hand when he suddenly swipes me up in his arms, carrying me bridal style.

“What the! Magnus we’re out in public what are you doing!!”

“Shut up.” Then he starts fucking running! He runs and I hang on to his neck and bury my head into his shoulder wondering if Magnus has had too many glasses of wine.

Suddenly I hear splashes of water and I open my eyes and see that Magnus is standing in a pool of water. I look up and I realise that we’re at the beach. How far did we go? The ocean looks scary but at the same time so beautiful during the night. The moon’s reflection is visble on the surface of the inklike water.

He sets me down in the water and grins.

“Magnus my ankles are wet what are you..!” Then he splashes drops of water at me and I gasp at the sudden change of temperature hitting my body.”Magnus my clothes! You little…!” I lean down and I scatter water at him too.

“Alexander! My make-up! I’m gonna get you, you little shit!” Magnus splashes me with more water and I giggle and do the same.

Soon we end up having a water war and then out of nowhere, Magnus jumps at me and we both tumble into the water. I sit up panting and coughing, trying to get air into my lungs as I start shaking because of the coldness of the water.

Magnus is still on top of me as half of our bodies are under the water.

We stare into each other’s eyes and his are still as beautiful as always. His make-up must be water proof or something because it's still flawless.

Magnus leans down and kisses my cheek before he moves sideways and envelopes my wet lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always: sorry for any mistakesxD
> 
> One thing though, next chapter will be up a little bit late because I will be traveling back to my country and I start school on the same day:(


	33. Discovery

Our kiss loses control and after a few seconds Magnus is shirtless and we find ourselves having a make out session in the water. Magnus kisses me hard and I whimper crashing my head into the sand and it’s only the feeling of water sorrounding my head and coming into my nose that breaks our trance. I push Magnus away and start coughing violently. 

 

Magnus laughs a little and start dunking my back. I stop coughing and instead try to breathe properly but I can’t help but let out a little after cough. 

 

I smile guiltily. “Sorry for ruining the mood..” 

 

Magnus kisses me again. “Darling. I literally pushed you into the water while we were making out, you could’ve drowned. No need to apologise. In fact, I’m sorry”

 

I grin. “It’s okay.” I look around still shivering at the water around me. “So um..you still wanna be in here?”

 

“I don’t know, do you still want to sit in the water? Because I must admit, you do look really hot.” He winks.

 

I flush a bit before splashing water at him. He rubs his eyes before looking at me, smiling. I smile back and we just sit there for a couple of minutes, awkwardly giving each other small kisses in the water before Magnus drags me up and we walk back to his car.

 

My teeth are clattering when I ask. “M-Mag-nus? D-Do yo-u h-ave a blan-ket?”

 

He nods and a second later he comes to me with a blanket but he doesn’t give it to me. “M-ag-nus?”

 

“Take off your shirt or you’ll make the blanket wet and you’ll still be freezing”

 

I bite my lip and drag my shirt over my head slowly and throw it into the back. I turn to grab the blanket only to find Magnus staring at me intently. I go a bit pink and snatch the blanket away.

 

“Oh you don’t have to get dressed up for me…Fine. I like what I saw.” Magnus winks and I shake my head embarrassed. Magnus gets another blanket and drapes it over himself. “Lets get you home sweetie, before Maryse Lightwood comes after me with an undead army.”

 

I laugh out load and Magnus kisses my cheeks and ruffles my hair before starting the car. He turns on the stereo and Despacito comes on.

 

I groan loudly and Magnus laughs. “You gotta be kidding me! I’ve heard that song on replay for the past weeks from  both Izzy and Simon! I care about my ears you know!” Magnus ignores me and starts singing. “Magnus!” I laugh. He looks at me and sings louder while smiling widely. 

 

I don’t know how but eventually I start singing along and we scream ‘Despacitoo!’ loudly and we spend the entire car ride like that; Magnus putting on classic popular songs and we both start singing and laughing.

 

When we arrive at my house Magnus walks me to the front door where my mum pops up. She looks me up from top to toe and then does the same to Magnus..

 

“This is your first date and you already have him naked?! And why is he freezing?” Before mum can attack the now terrified Magnus I put a hand out.

 

“Mum! We went the ocean, we stumbled and fell into the water. Nothing happened!” I half lie. Mum keeps asking questions and Magnus keeps on getting more pale that it’s almost laughable.

 

“Mum let it go!”Izzy calls out. She appears and drags mum away. But before she goes, she calls out: “Nice abs Magnus!” She winks and closes the front door. 

 

Magnus tilts his head to the side. “Your family is very...random?”

 

“No shit..” I answer and we burst out laughing.

 

“Okay flower I better run away before someone else pops up.” Magnus says sarcastically. “So..what did you think about our date? From 0 to 10?”

 

I pretend to think really hard. “Hmmm…..definitely 0.” Magnus’s face falls and I laugh. “..If 0 means totally perfect and 10 means that it sucked ass.”

 

Magnus gapes. “Alexander I nearly cried!”

 

I smile and kiss him on the lips. “Bye..”

 

“Text me beautiful” He kisses me again.

 

I giggle. “You better go before mum shows up.”

“Wanting to get rid of me so quickly?!” Magnus asks and I hit his shoulder playfully.

 

“Never.” He smiles and kisses my cheek. “Goodnight..”

 

“Goodnight flower.”

  
  


I watch him walk to his car and I can’t help but to do a quick once-over of his half naked body. Damn. 

When he drives away I go back inside and of course I’m met by Izzy, Jace and even mum, all three of them wanting to know what happened on my date.

 

They all start asking things at the same and I climb up the stairs heading towards my room with all of them following me.

 

“Why were you in the water?!” Jace asks

 

“Did you have sex in the ocean?!” Izzy asks

 

“Did he assault you into water?!” Mum asks.

 

I open the door to my room. “Goodnight” and I close and lock it.

 

I lie down on my bed and stare at the roof. I sigh with content and smile remembering the make out in the ocean but unfortunately, my thoughts are interrrupted by a sudden ‘ping’  sound and I grab my phone. Me, Magnus, Raphael and Simon have our own group chat and Simon  just sent a lot of exclamation points.

 

**Darthvader:**

**!!!!!!**

I frown and send a message

**Panda:**

**Simon? Is something wrong?**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**Simon why did you change my name…**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**Calm down Raphael, I’m sure Simon has a good reason why he picked this name**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**Shut up Magnus**

 

**DarthVader:**

**!!!!**

 

**Panda:**

**What’s happening Simon?!**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**I don’t know. He’s bouncing on the bed like crazy.**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**Is he bouncing on the bed or is he bouncing on you?;)**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**Next time I see you, I will throw you inside of a trashcan.**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**I’m hurt!**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**No one cares**

 

**DarthVader:**

**TOMORROW! WE’RE GONNA GO TO ALDERTREE’S HOUSE AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE TRIPLE DATE AFTER. I’M SO EXCITED. WE’LL HAVE MY DREAM TRIPLE DATE AND I’LL BE A DETECTIVE TOMORROW. YASS!**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**…..ugh….**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**I feel you Simon. Maybe I should change my name into Sparkly detective? Or maybe Detective Sparkly?**

 

**Grumpy Sexy:**

**Fucking don’t.**

 

**Panda:**

**Um...should we really do this?**

 

**DarthVader:**

**Of course! Okay I’ll send the details tomorrow. I’m tired. I wanna cuddle with Rapha now <3 His hugs are sooooo tight but yet so soft! He has really strong arms and I love it when he squeezes me!**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

 

I grin at my phone

 

**Panda:**

**Aww**

 

After 5 minutes there is no sign of either Simon or Raphael.

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**Simon? Raphael?**

 

**Panda:**

**Simon?!**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**Darling, I don’t think Simon is available right now. Poor boy.**

 

Magnus always talks like Raphael is doing something to Simon. I never get what he means!

 

**Panda:**

**What does that mean?**

 

**Sparkly Glitter:**

**Goodnight Sweetie;)**

 

**Panda:**

**Goodnight…**

 

I sigh and let it pass pulling the blankets up to my chin before falling asleep with a pleased smile.

* * *

 

“Wake...uuuuUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!!”

 

I scream and fall off my bed clutching my ear. I look up panicked and see Simon grinning opening my closet, throwing clothes at my bed.

 

“Simon?” I gasp. Simon ignores me and continues to throw clothes everywhere. “Simon?!” He picks up a blue sweater looking like he’s considering it for something. “SIMON?!” 

 

Simon jumps startled and sighs frustratingly. “What the fuck do you want I’m busy..”

 

I just gape at him. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

 

Simon rolls his eyes. “Picking out clothes for you because we’re going to Aldertree’s house. Duh. Get your ass up.” Simon picks up a pair of nice jeans and throws them together with the blue sweater at me. “Shower and wear these. We need to get to the triple date after.” I continue to stare at him. “Come on! Magnus and Raph are picking us up soon! Get in the shower now, you stink!” Simon sniffs the air. “Dude. Why does your room smell like sea water? Oh and how did the daaaate go!”

 

I shake my head and throw a shoe at him before going into the shower. I dress up quickly and when I get out I see Raphael standing next to Simon. 

 

“Um hey Raphael” I greet.

 

“Took you some time Idiota” He answers. He’s a very polite guy…

 

When Simon sees me he goes to my desk and I see him draw something on a piece of paper. He holds up the paper where he has drawn a huge question mark. “Dude you gotta tell us what happened on your date with Magnus because Imma fucking question mark here and that’s not fair.”

 

I raises my eyebrows and I see Raphael’s gaze going between Simon’s face and the paper before he facepalms.  “I hang out with idiots…” Raphael mutters

 

Simon smiles at me and Raphael. “Hey at least he said ‘idiots’ and not ‘idiotas’ that’s always something!”

 

Raphael gives him the death glare and Simon slowly hides the paper behind his back while releasing a nervous laugh. “So...tell me Alec.”

 

I shake my head and laugh a bit before I clear my throat. “Um..he took me to a really fancy restaurant where we ate and then he took me to the ocean where we fooled around a bit and then he took me home. We were out for like 4 hours or so…”

 

Raphael hums and Simon starts jumping. “Amazing! Incredible! Never have been refrenced before! Totally unheard of! Totally a-”

“Simon shut up and stop jumping. Don’t act like I haven’t giving you something as romantic before.” Raphael mutters and Simon puts his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and smiles.

 

“No one can beat your dates…”

 

“Awwwww look what we have hereee! Saphael love!” Magnus appears and coos. “I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without you two being all over each other so cutee.”

 

Simon bites his lip and Raphael throws a pillow at Magnus that hits him right in the face.

 

Magnus yelps. “What’s wrong with you?! My fucking makeup!” He runs to a mirror and starts fixing it.

 

I grin and walk over to him, observing his looks. “Magnus you look great..”

 

He turns around and kisses me. “Of course I know that I look great but I want to be extra great! There’s a difference darling.” He states while fixing his makeup and I just shrug.

 

“Can we move our asses out of here already??” Raphael asks irritated.

 

Magnus smirks. “You should let Simon walk before you I’m sure you want to see his ass  _ move. _ ”

 

Simon chokes and Raphael throws another pillow at Magnus, this time hitting him at the back of his head.

 

“MY HAIR! MY FUCKING HAIR!” Magnus screams and we all roll our eyes. Here we go again..

 

Finally we’re in Raphael’s car with Simon driving since none of us know where Aldertree’s house is. After like 10 minutes, Simon stops in front of an old looking house. We get out and knock on the door.

 

“Hello there gentlemen.” A nice looking, old women greets us at the door. She's probably in her sixties... “What can I help you with?” It takes a minute for all of us to take in the british accent before we answer.

 

“Hiiii I’m Simooon! Aldertree’s friend! He hasn’t been coming to school lately and we all wanted to check up on him and fill him in with what’s happening.”Simon explains smiling before he points at each and one of us. “So this is Alec, Magnus and Raphy..sorry I mean Raphael!”

 

Raphael rolls his eyes and the woman smiles. “Nice to know that Aldertree has a lot of caring people in his class! I’m Victoria, Aldertree’s grandmother. So..are you two together..?” She asks looking at me and Magnus. I flinch not knowing if her reaction is going to be positive or not,  after all not a lot people are openminded in this world. 

 

“Yes we are.”Magnus immediately answers and grabs my hand but she only smiles kindly.

 

“Oh you look nice together!” Then she looks at Raphael. “You and the Star Wars boy are also together right?”

 

Rapahel raises his brow. “And how would you know?”

 

“Because you’ve been sneaking glances at each other since you got here and you have this protective aura around the nerdy boy. Anyways! Come on.”

 

Before we go in, Magnus smirks at Raphael who shoots him deadly arrow looks. We settle down and she hands us some tea. She continues to smile while Simon and me think about how we're supposed to get upstairs. 

 

“So..are going to tell me what you’re _really_   doing here?” She asks and it takes us a second to register the question because she’s still smiling kindly at us.

 

“Um uh..what are you talking about?” I stutter.

 

She picks up the tea and takes a sip and she’s still goddamn smiling!” Oh don’t be ridiculous, as if Aldertree has friends let alone four! Except for that weirdo Meliorn of course he has never had any companions since middle school. He hasn’t been coming home lately and I’m well aware of what he’s doing in his freetime. I love him but I consider him a danger to society and he needs to be stopped. If I can help you in any way let me know.”

 

“Why are..you telling us this? Why do you trust us with this information?” I ask.

 

“Because...I’m psychic…”She says and stops smiling. We all freeze and just stare at her before she bursts out laughing.”Silly children! I just trust you! You have a trustful atmosphere around you so..what do you want?”

 

“Where does Aldertree hide his stuff?” Simon asks quickly.

 

“Check his room and look for hidden spots. Off you go!” We all ´stand up and head upstairs.

 

When we reach his room Raphael whispers: “Is it just me or did you idiotas also since get a little bit of a creep vibe going around her?”

 

Simon shrugs. “She’s _Aldertree’s_ grandmother what do you expect? Okay then...lets start looking.”

 

We spend almost an hour looking and searching. All we find in the end is cigarettes, weed and other drugs. 

 

“How do we know Aldertree has it? Maybe Meliorn does?” Magnus asks sitting on the bed while fanning himself with a destroyed notebook.

 

“Because. Hackers don’t let others take their stuff, they always keep everything they do to themselves.” Simons says still searching. After a few minutes he slams Aldertree’s desk and lets out a cry of frustration.

 

“I have an idea. Maybe. Just maybe. Aldertree never took the video” I exclaim.

 

“Shut up Alec!” Simon says.

 

Magnus approaches him.

“Don’t talk to Alexander with that tone or-”

 

“Or what. What are you gonna do?” Raphael stands next to Simon and puts a hand in his hair protectively.

 

Magnus takes a step towards Raphael before Simon puts his arms out between them. “Calm down both of you! You’re right Magnus. I’m sorry Alec I really am, I never meant to sound..you know. Sorry.”

 

I nod. “It’s fine you don’t need to apologise.” I reassure. Magnus and Raphael nod at each other. Me and Simon frown confused before rolling our eyes. “So what do we do now?”

Simon sits down next to Magnus and everything goes quiet until Simon gets up. “Lets just go.” He mutters and starts leaving. Raphael goes after him and puts a hand on the back of his neck caressing it. Magnus grabs my hand and kisses my cheek. I put my head on his shoulder.

We say goodbye to granny and walk out. On our way to the gate we see something that resembles a tombstone and we approach it.

 

“What’s this?” Magnus asks.

 

Simon sits on the grass and puts his hand on the tombstone. “This is a grave. 10 years ago when Aldertree was 6, his dog died and they buried it here.” He wipes the tombstone with his hand and now we can see a name written on it. ‘Chaksy’.

 

“What a strange name.” Raphael comments. Simon nods with a distant look on his face. 

 

“Aldertree loved him. He always said that although Chaksy is a dog, he’s the most trustworthy person Aldertree has ever met.” Simon says before his expression shifts and he starts digging where Chaksy is probably buried.

 

“Omg Simon what are you doing!” I call out and glance towards the house to see if granny is anywhere in sight. 

 

Simon continues to dig. “Aldertree was like a super ultimate dog lover. He told his dog everything and trusted him with whatever. Maybe he still does it. Even in death.” After a couple of minutes something that resembles a coffin appears and next to it there is a thick black cube with a chip next to it. “ Who would ever suspect a grave? And it’s dishonourable to dig out a grave so no one would randomly do it unless they have a reason to. Perfect hiding spot. Fucking bingo.” He picks up everything and grins at each and one of us. “Boom bitches, DarthVader was right.”

 

I just stare at it both with fear and anticipation “How do we know that it’s the one? And what do we do now?”

 

“We’ll have to watch it. But of course not all of it, I don’t think I can handle that. And..I don’t know. We’ll discuss what to do later. Now lets get out of here.” 

 

We all help to tidy up the grave and I’m about to go when I notice Simon lingering. “What’s wrong Simon?”

 

“I can’t...I can’t believe I dug a dog’s grave..”

 

Raphael goes to Simon and looks him in the eye. “It’s okay mi amor, it was for a greater cause.”

 

“No..Rapha I did it like it was nothing. Dogs are just as valuable as humans if not more and I just started digging like it was nothing.”

 

“Simon it’s okay. I don’t think Chaksy would appreciate what his owner has become. I think he’d be glad to help.” Alec tries.

 

Raphael grabs Simon’s face. “Mi amor.”He says simply and they stare each other dead in the eye while pressing their foreheads against each other. “Love..” And they continue to stare.

 

Magnus leans forward and whispers in my ear. “Yeaaaah, they take ‘prolonged eyecontact’ to a whole new level.”

 

They stare until Raphael nods and then Simon nods back. They both stand up and walk towards the car. I give Magnus a look of question and he shrugs.

 

“Don’t ask, I myself don’t even know.” 

 

I also shrug and we follow them into the car. “Lets just hope creepy grandmother didn’t see us. Or you know what? Who gives a shit?!” Magnus laughs. “We found it!”

 

Simon hums. “Yes and somehow we need to give it to the police.”

 

I still can’t believe it though. The one thing that can end Camille’s life is in my hands but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Maybe that’s not even the footage. When Simon says 'police' I bite my lip. “Is it really that fun? Being a police officer? Or getting captured?”

 

“Well sweetie, neither is particularly fun. A police officer can get shot and if you get caught then you go to jail, darling.” Magnus answers.

 

I frown. “What do you think Simon? Didn’t you get ‘captured’ by Raphael yesterday when you were playing roleplay or something?” I ask and both Raphael and Magnus look at me confused. Simon turns the car to the side and stops it.

 

He turns around and looks at me a bit panicked. “We what?”

 

I tilt my head to the side. “I don’t know but yesterday night I called you and you thought you declined but actually you accepted the call. I guess you and Raphael were playing some kinda game because Raphael told you to go to the bed and put your hands above your head. Someone only says that line to you if you’re about to get arrested right? Did you have fun? Did you play truth or dare or something?”

 

Magnus and even Raphael burst out laughing really hard while Simon just stare at me openmouthed with his face turning redder and redder by the second. He turns around and puts his head on the wheel.

 

“Omg I knew it I knew it!!!”Magnus laughs.

 

“Alec you are so clueless! Simon, I thought you were supposed to be his sex instructor!” Raphael roars and throws his head back laughing.

 

“Mmm but he doesn’t need to know stuff like this…” Simon mutters into the wheel and I’m still totally and utterly confused.

 

“Are you kidding me Simon? He thinks we were playing a game. Like a game game. You can’t leave him like this. “Raphael says and laughs even more.

 

“I can and I will” Simon mutters again.

 

“I knew it, I soooo knew it!!” Magnus repeats. “I knew you that are you are into D/s ! Shit I knew it.”

 

I look at him still confused. “What does D/s mean?” I ask.

 

Raphael turns to me. “It means domina-” But then he goes quiet immediately when Simon looks at him with his red face and a look of absolute dread and shame.

 

Magnus stops laughing and Raphael’s face hardens. “We’ve already talked about this mi amor, there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s something normal.”

 

Simon inhales and huffs. “Can we not have this conversation right now?!” Simon screams at him.

 

Raphael goes quiet and frowns looking away from Simon clearly angry at him.

 

Simon sighs. “Rapha…” He puts his hand on top of Raphael’s but Raphael snatches his away. Simon flinches looking like a hurt puppy before turning on the car.

 

Me and Magnus stay quiet even though I’m really curious but it’s obvious now is not the right time to say anything. 

We just gotta survive the double date now..and with these two like this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the waitxD  
> As usual I apologise for any errors that I'm sure there is a lot ofxD  
> Goodnight:)


	34. Chapter 34

We stop by Jem’s house where we pick up both him and Will.

 

Will opens the passenger seat door and scowls at Raphael. “Get outta here the passenger seat is reserved for the one and only Will Herondale!”

 

Raphael has been irritated the entire ride and I try to tell Will with my eyes that now is not the right time. Raphael glares at him and slaps Will’s hand away from the door. “Fuck off.” He dismisses and slams the door in his face.

 

Will is about to fight for his rightful seat when Jem grabs his arm, noticing Raphael’s mood. “Stop complaining before I’ll make you sit in the trunk.”

 

Will rolls his eyes and we squeeze ourselves together in the back seats but we’re four people so we’re not able to sit comfortably. I hear Magnus sigh before he lifts me up and places me on his lap. “You sit here so we can fit.”

 

I roll my eyes embarrassingly but when he puts his arms around me I put my head against his shoulder and smile at him.

 

“Heyy Alec!!!” Will greets and I smile at him. “Oh..Magnus are you coming too?” He asks sounding disappointed.

 

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “What exactly do you mean by that?!”

 

“Well..wouldn’t it be better if we just bring Alec and leave you? It will save us both space and...well... drama.” Will says playfully and Magnus lunges for him nearly making me fall.

 

“Will! Behave!” Jem shouts and Will rolls his eyes.

 

“Whatever Jem..”

 

Finally we’re on our way to whatever place Simon has picked out when clueless Will asks: “Whassup with Simon and Raphael?” Me and Magnus shake our heads but Will leans over the console and looks at each and one of them. “What’s with you two??”

 

Simon casts a quick glance towards Raphael before redirecting his attention back to the road. Raphael doesn’t as much as glance up in Simon’s direction and instead he pulls out his earphones and plugs them into his ears.

 

I can practically feel Magnus roll his eyes and I hear him sigh. “Why are you acting like total drama queens??”

 

“Yeah! That’s Magnus’ role!” Will exclaims.

 

Magnus glares and is about to slap Will when I grab his hand. Let us not ruin this triple date even more. “Open your mouth again Herondale and you won’t live to see another day of my dramatic outbursts.”

 

“Will. Magnus. Enough already, me and Alec are getting annoyed. “Jem says and I snort.

 

Both Magnus and Will roll their eyes. “Whatever.” They say at the same time.

 

We finally arrive and to everyone’s dismay, Simon has taken us to an amusement park. It’s a good idea, in fact it’s a brilliant idea but with the tension between Simon and Raphael and the rest..this is going to be so awkward.

 

Simon turns off the car but he doesn’t move. “So yeah..surprise.”

 

I instantly feel bad for him because he’s been planning this for months and now when we’re finally doing it, his entire plan has turned upside down because of Raphael. For the first time I feel a hot anger towards Raphael and when we all get out of the car I grab Magnus by the wrist and we fall behind the group a bit.

 

“Can you please fix this?!” I ask desperately.

 

Magnus frowns and crosses his arms. “What do you mean? It’s their business, it’s not my place to interfere they need to work this out on their own.”

 

I can’t believe it. How can Magnus just stand there and say that? Does he even care? I huff and say sternly: “I get that Simon is not really your close friend but he’s really close to me so could you please do something about this? He has been planning this day since forever and now this happened because of Raphael-”

 

Magnus puts his hands out and stops me from talking. “Why does it sound like you’re blaming Raphael, darling?” Magnus asks but none too kindly.

 

I sigh and blurt out: “Well isn’t it his fault?! Simon didn’t say anything and he was so happy before Raphael started giving him the cold shoulder!”

 

Magnus flinches and I realise that I made a huge mistake. “Magnus I’m sorry I…”

 

Magnus steps closer to me and whispers: “Look who is biased now…”

 

“Magnus…” I sigh but he walks past me and I try to reach out for him but he totally dismisses me. I lick my lips and sigh in exasperation before I go after them.

 

\----

 

“Soooo….who wants some ice cream.?!” Jem asks while putting on a fake enthusiastic smile. Both him and Will watch me, Magnus, Raphael and Simon sensing the tension and trying their best to make it better. “Okaaaay I think not! Lets sit somewhere maybe? Don’t you think that’s a good idea Will?”

 

Will nods. “Yes yes absolutely! Lets go.”

 

I try to grab a hold of Magnus but he pretends like I don’t exist. Fine. If that’s the way he wants it then fine! I cross my arms and walk next to Jem.

 

We settle down in a wide space near a very cool and scary looking rollercoaster. We just sit there in awkward silence while we hear people screaming from above.

 

Will slams his fist on the table. “That’s it! Time for therapy! Lets start with Saphael, what’s the problem here?” He looks at Simon first and then at Raphael, shifting his gaze between the two of them.

 

“None of your goddamn business Herondale.”Raphael answers bitterly. Simon just sits there doing what I’m doing; playing with the hem of his shirt not meeting anyone’s eyes.

 

“Come on Raphael we’re trying to help you here!” Jem exclaims clearly getting tired of this.

 

“Why are you talking to me like it’s my fault this is happening?” Raphael asks sassily.

 

“Raphael shut up….” Jem says before he frowns: “You’re not going to break up are you??”

 

I can see Simon visibly flinch and I feel so bad for him because I know how much he loves Raphael. Meanwhile, Magnus doesn’t even want to spare me a glance nor does he pay any attention to my existence. Well, whatever, this is not my fault! But still..it hurts to see him treat me like this and I try to put my hand over his under the table but I feel him flinch away immediately.

 

Will snorts and smirks.“Well it’s not like we didn’t see it coming. Raphael and Simon? Seriously?? When I found out I thought it was some kind of early april fools! Unlikely! I immediately thought that they could never become a couple nevertheless have real emotions and love each other! No offence Simon but you’re too nerdy, geeky and definitely too boring for someone like Rapha-”

 

Before Will can finish his sentence, Raphael jumps up and swings his fist and it connects with Will’s face in mere seconds.

 

All of us gasp and Will stumbles falling onto the floor, gripping his jaw while groaning loudly. People around us eye us weirdly and Jem quickly crouches down to help his boyfriend.

 

In the corner of my eye I see Simon blink away some tears before he leaves the table.

 

“You asshole!!” Jem screams at Raphael.

 

“I’ll show you who the real asshole is here..” Raphael lunges for Will but Magnus holds him back.

 

I get up and follow Simon but he’s nowhere to be found. I glance in all directions before I decide to go to another part of the amusement park where it doesn’t look like there is a lot of people. There are no roller coasters, restaurants or anything here so this is where Simon most likely is.Up ahead there is an empty spot near a little pond with trees all around it and I see Simon sitting there, knees pulled to his chin while hiding his face with his hands.I can clearly hear his sobs and when I’m about to walk up to him, a feel a gush of wind fly past me and I turn to see Raphael running towards where Simon is. I take a step forward before I feel someone grab my arm and I turn around only to find Magnus standing behind me.

 

“Leave them alone darling.” He says.

 

I lower my head to the ground before I mumble: “So you’re finally paying attention to me?”

 

Magnus throws his head back sighing. “Alexander I am allowed to be a little annoyed by you for blindlessly accusing my friend.”

 

I look up at him. “Yes and I’m sorry for that but you can’t just ignore me like I don’t exist, you need to talk to me so we can solve this.”

 

Magnus sighs and crosses his arms. “And would you have liked for anyone to meddle in our business?”

 

“I don’t understand your question…?”

 

“I’m asking: would you have liked it if someone came between us and tried to solve things?”

 

Now I finally understand what he’s trying to say and I lower my head a little. “No…”

 

“Exactly. And I don’t think Raphael and Simon would appreciate it if someone would try to meddle in their business. Look what happened to Will.”

 

I roll my eyes and bite my lip. “Will deserved it.”

 

“He definitely did, darling. And I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t ignore you like that, I should’ve tried to talk things out.” He leans in and kisses me. “Sorry my flower…”

 

I nod and whisper: “ I’m sorry too...I shouldn’t accuse Raphael like that when I don’t even know what the situation is about.” I put my arms around his neck and mumble: “I’m just happy that you’re not mad at me anymore…”

 

Magnus smiles and gives each of my cheeks five kisses. “I could never be mad at you. I’m so sorry”

 

I smile sadly and hug him. He hugs me back and places a few kisses on my forehead before he pulls away. “Darling, I think there is another couple here that needs to make up.”He says and gestures towards Raphael and Simon. “Okay Alexander this is our chance. I’ve always been so curious about their relationship, screw privacy let's go listen!”

 

My eyes widen and I shake my head. “No Magnus we have to give them their privac-” But then he grabs my arm and pulls me towards them. We hide behind a couple of trees a few meters away so we can clearly hear them.

 

“Just leave me already…” Simon sobs out and Raphael sighs.

 

“I’m not going to leave you. Not today, not ever.” Raphael replies.

 

“Aww..” Magnus whispers and I shush him before I turn my attention back to them. Magnus is right this is really interesting.

 

“Why?! Didn’t you hear what Will said? I’m not good enough for you and I never will be and it’s true!” Simon sobs and I bite my lip.

 

Raphael cups Simon’s face and shakes his head. “Will is an idiotic asshole and he’s going to pay for saying all those things about you. I’m never going to allow anyone to talk about my love in that manner!” He says angrily and I hear Magnus shift behind before I feel his arms around me. I smile and lean into the embrace.

 

Simon rubs his cheek against the palm of Raphael’s hand before he whispers: “I missed your touch..”

 

Raphael sighs sadly and embraces Simon in a tight possessive manner. “Me too mi amor, me too. I love you and I can’t handle seeing you crying. All those things Will said were lies. I started to like you the moment I laid my eyes on you all those years ago. You’re nerdy, enthusiastic, creative, lovable, loyal, very energetic, jumpy, cuddly and...a goddamn Darth Vader.”

 

Simon laughs and clutches Raphael’s sweater.

 

“My point here is that you are all of those things and many many more and they all make you, you. They make you Simon, the little glasses boy I fell for at first sight but you were too clueless to notice and both of us were cowards to make a move.”

 

Simon sobs out another laugh before he pulls back a little, red eyes wide. “You..? You liked me when you saw me for the first time?” He asks and Raphael smiles.

 

“No I didn’t like you, I loved you. There’s a difference.” He teases and Simon rolls his eyes and punches Raphael’s chest lightly. “Hey..don’t hit..”

 

Simon blushes before he hugs him again and rolls his eyes. “Yes Sir...” Simon teases. I frown before I raise my eyebrow and Magnus lets out a little quiet laugh. “But I don’t wear glasses anymore do you still love me?” Simon asks curiously and a bit shyly.

 

Raphael rolls his eyes. “What do you think idiota?”

Simon smiles sadly and whispers: “Say it..”

 

Raphael whispers: “I love you”

 

“Even if I’m nerdy and not good enough for you?”

 

I flinch a little because I can relate. Magnus is always so amazing and I always seem to do things wrong.

 

Raphael lets out a sound of frustration. “Simon don’t you understand that I’m the one who’s not good enough for you? You’re amazing.” He caresses Simon’s cheek and smiles in such a loving way I didn’t think was possible for Raphael to do.

 

“That’s not true you’re so perfect.” Simon sobs a little before pulling back a bit. “Are you still mad at me?”

 

“You’re more perfect.” Raphael sighs and looks up at the sky. “Simon we talked about it before and I explained  to you that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing.”

 

“I don’t think that what we’re doing is wrong!”Simon exclaims.

 

“But you’re ashamed of it.”

 

“I’m not ashamed of you…”Simon mumbles

 

Raphael raises a brow. “So you’re ashamed of yourself? For loving the things you desire?”

 

Simon blushes and nods.

 

Out of nowhere I feel Magnus lift me up and drag me away. I try my best to suppress my voice and when he finally sets me down, a long way away from Raphael and Simon, I almost glare at him.

 

“Magnuus! Why?” I whine.

 

Magnus is wearing a stupid smile and I notice that his cheeks are a bit red. “Darling, that’s enough we can’t eavesdrop on everything..”

 

I cross my arms and pout. “But...that was kinda cute…” I admit.

 

Magnus chuckles. “A little..? I’ve honestly never in my entire life seen Raphael like this and we shouldn’t eavesdrop anymore than what we already have.”

 

I raise my brow and frown. “Weren’t you the one who were eager to eavesdrop?”

 

“Yes darling but-”

 

“Heyy guyyyyys!” Will appears and both me and Magnus jump.

 

Jem is standing behind him looking clearly irritated.

 

Magnus rolls his eyes. “What do you want? Is there anything more you would like to add? Maybe you want to insult Alexander as well? Because if you do that then Raphael will be the least of your problem.”

 

“Magnus do not threaten my boyfriend.”Jem states and Magnus is about to open his mouth when Will squeals and points.

 

We follow his finger and we see Raphael lifting up Simon and spinning him around before setting him back down on the ground. We all wear a stupid smile on our faces when they approach us.

 

Will squeals again and turns to Jem:”See? I told you that my plan would work! They’re back together!”

 

“We were never NOT together you idiot” Raphael mutters and Will grins.

 

“Oh come one if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have reconciled as fast!” Then he looks at Simon who’s hanging behind Raphael with red eyes. “Listen Simon  I never meant what I said. You’re amazing. You’re the little energetic and over enthusiastic guy in the group and-”

 

“Don’t talk to him Herondale.”Raphael snaps.

 

Magnus clasps his hands and looks at us with a forced smile. “Sooo who wants ice cream??”

 

“I want ice cream.”Simon states and I tune in with him.

 

“Yeah me too” I say.

 

Magnus nods.”Alright then, lets go get some!”

 

Will and Raphael continues to glare at each other while we others just pretend like we’re having fun.

 

Magnus reaches out to hold my hand and I take it, relieved that he’s not mad anymore. Then we all want to ride a roller coaster so we stand in line.

 

I put my arm around Simon and ask: “Are you okay?”

 

Simon nods and smiles. “Yeah..”

 

“You know that everything Will said was a lie right?”

 

Simon drags his mouth and nods.

 

The rollercoaster we’re riding is the most popular attraction in this amusement park and when I look and see the ride, I almost go pale. It goes 360 degrees and 180 degrees several times during the ride.

 

I feel someone grab my arm and I look up at Magnus who frowns at me.

 

“Are you sure you want to ride this darling?”

 

I nod because this day has already gotten ruined in more ways than one and I do not want to be a buzzkill. I look over at Simon and notice that he’s also turning pale.

 

We position ourselves in our seats while I’m mentally preparing myself to do die.

 

“Panda?” I hear Simon whisper in my ear and I nod. “Can you hold my hand?”

 

I nod again mostly because I also need someone to hold my hand. “Absolutely.”

 

“Don’t mention this to Rapha.”

 

“Don’t mention this to Magnus.”

 

“Deal”

 

“Deal”

 

There is a loud ‘click’ and then we start riding upwards. We move up and up and I grab Simon’s hand. Then we stop at the top and me and Simon look at each other before we slowly look down. We shouldn’t have done that. It looks like we’re miles above ground and the moment we look down the roller coaster moves and throws us down in a way that can only be described as free fall. Simon and I can only scream. We clutch each other’s hands and scream until the rollercoaster tilts downwards again and it feels like the air has gotten knocked out of our lungs. Then everything stills and I feel blood rush up to my face and I open my eyes. I’m upside fucking down and both me and Simon scream even more when the roller coaster starts moving again.

 

Then I feel someone shake me and calling my name and I open my eyes. I see Magnus on the verge of laughing and I realise that we’ve stopped. I immediately unbuckle my belt and bolt out of the chair. Simon is right behind me with a laughing Magnus.

 

“Oh my I wish I had recorded that!” Magnus laughs wiping the tears out of his eyes and I glare at him.

 

Even Raphael is smirking. “Simon my idiota I didn’t know you were afraid of roller coasters, you should have said something.”

 

Simon shakes his head ignoring him and stands next to me.

 

“Oh come on you two, don’t sulk!” Magnus exclaims.

 

“Magnus…” Raphael warns.

 

“Shut up Raphael you have to admit that Alec’s and Simon’s screaming were hilarious! Even Jem agrees with me!” Will laughs.

 

“I’ve never heard someone scream this much” Jem teases and Magnus laughs even more.

 

“Enough.”Raphael says but I can tell that he also wants to laugh.

 

Now it’s time for games and we go to one of those really difficult claw machines. I slip in a coin and try but I fail miserably.

 

Magnus chuckles and takes the lever away from me. He slips in a coin and captures a huge teddy with the claw without dropping it. He hands me the teddy and gives me a quick kiss. I kiss him back and smile at him adoringly. “Thank you”

 

“I’m so jealous. Jem get me one.” Will complains and Jem rolls his eyes. Jem has to re-do it five times before he manages to properly catch a stuffed bear that he hands to a satisfied Will.

 

Me and Magnus roll our eyes but then Simon sighs: “Fuck all of you really…”

 

Even though it’s just a stupid lame teddy bear, I’m about to tell Magnus to get one for Simon when Raphael approaches a guy standing in front of multiple metallic, cup pyramids. He pays the guy and takes 10 balls throwing each ball on each pyramid. He hits them all making all pyramids collapse. The cups fall with loud noises and the guy working there just stares before handing Raphael three large teddy bears and a small mini teddy.

 

Raphael grabs the animals and hands Simon all of them. One large teddy is almost as big as Simon and when he gets three of them, Simon can barely hold them all.

 

“What the hell?! Hey Jem, I want that!” Will complains.

 

“Will...shut up..”Jem sighs.

 

Simon tilts his head from behind the teddies and he sticks his tongue out. “My boyfriend is better than yoursss!! Fuck all of you bitches!!! I can barely carry these but I don’t fucking care!” Simon mocks before he leans up to kiss Raphael’s cheek. “Thank you, thank you, thank youuu!” Raphael only rolls his eyes.

 

Magnus crosses his arms and now it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “So what’re you gonna name them? Oh, let me guess; Darth Vader, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker and Yoda?”

 

Simon glares at him and shakes his head. He points to the first bear and says: “This one is called Raph.”Then he points to the other. “This one is Raphy.” Then to the third. “And this one is Rapha” Now he points at the little one and smiles. “And this is Baby Raphael! So cute! Almost as cute as Raphael!” He exclaims and kisses it. And that’s it for all of us as we start laughing like crazy.

 

“Simon you’re a child and if you don’t stop this instant then I’m going to throw both you and those ridiculous bears, into a trashcan.” Raphael threatens but you can still see a hint of pink coloring his cheeks.

 

“But Rapha! You’re so cuteee!” Simon coos.

 

Raphael turns around. “Bye.”

 

“Hey Raphael come on! You are leaving Simon! And you are also leaving Raph! And Raphy! And Rapha! And of course lets not forget about Baby Raphael!” Will calls out.

 

“Go fuck yourself Herondale.” Raphael calls back.

 

“Nah I have Jem for that.” Will shrugs and Jem glares at him.

 

“Sure you do Will. And I bet Simon as 4 other Raphaels that can entertain him now .” Magnus teases and Raphael gives him the look of death.

 

“Ew that’s both disgusting and not to mention boring, Magnus.” Jem laughs. 

 

I just stand there watching the exchange laughing my ass off but when I see Simon get visibly uncomfortable I call out: “Okay guys I think it’s best if we move on. I just saw a ride that looked really cool. The day is almost over so come on.”

 

They spend three hours just riding different attractions before we finally have to go home and we once again, squeeze ourselves in the car but this time, everyone is wearing a smile. Except for Raphael of course.

 

But still, I can’t seem to calm down and the only thing clouding my mind now is the security footage that we’ll soon have to watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know..sorry for the late update, I've been so busy with school and then I got a feverxD Sorry if chapters come out a little late:)
> 
> And I apologise for any errors, I wrote this kind of quickly:(


	35. Chapter 35

We’re on our way to drop off Will and Jem when Simon stops the car two blocks away from Will’s house.

 

“Thanks for coming Will.” Simon says. At least thirty seconds pass with pure silence before Simon turns around and looks at Will. “Why are you still here?”

 

Will is utterly confused and Jem speaks up, “Will, I think he wants you to get out of the car. You’ve annoyed him today so he stopped the car a few blocks away from your house because he wants revenge.”Jem explains and you can see the realisation dawning on Will.

 

“So wait...you’re mad at me?!!” Will asks like he can’t believe it.

 

Simon glares at him. Magnus and  Raphael turns to Will and say at the same time: “Get out.”

 

Will puts his hands up in defence. “Fine whatever. Jem come on.”

Jem looks up at him and raises his eyebrows.

 

Will gapes. “Jem! What the hell you’re my boyfriend, you’re supposed to follow me wherever I go!”

 

Jem smirks and gives Will a quick kiss. “Bye Will. I’ll call you tonight.” Jem says before he closes the door. I just gape at him and he shrugs. “He deserved it. Will has no filter and he needs to learn how to think before he opens his mouth.

 

“Well you did one good thing Jem.” Magnus exclaims and pats Jem’s shoulder.

 

We drop Jem off at his house and I slowly start to fall asleep on Magnus shoulder when Simon starts driving again. But then Magnus says, “Uh Sherwin? I think you’re heading in the wrong direction.”

 

I open my eyes and look out the window and it’s already really dark and we’re going way off direction.

 

“Mi amor? Where are you taking us?” Raphael asks.

 

Simon laughs a bit and sighs. “Ladies and gentlemen..except there are no ladies here but you get what I mean….Anyway! We’re going to school!”

 

“What?!” The rest of us scream at the same time.

 

“Well you see, I contacted Hodge and he gave me a key and the code to disable the school security system. We gotta do this quick though. The plan is to get in, watch the footage we got and get out. Simple.” Simon shrugs like it’s nothing.

  
  


I gape at him. “Simon what the hell? Do we really have to break into school to watch that thing?!”

 

“First of all, we are  _ entering _  school not breaking in because technically, we got permission. Second of all, yes it’s necessary because have you seen this shit?!” He exclaims and points at the footage we put inside the console. “It’s a fucking security footage! Do you really think MY fucking computer is gonna be able to support this? No way! We need the school security computers or whatever it’s called. They can support this. Unless of course you want to break into a police station because I know their computers are awesome-..”

 

“NO!!” We all scream and interrupt him mid-sentence.

Simon smirks. “Thought so. Does anyone have any more objections?” We stay quiet and he nods. “Thought so too. Now, lets go do this guys!”

 

I think all of us are wearing a rather petrified expression as we enter the school and wait for Simon to disable the alarm. 

 

“Got it. Follow me.” Simon walks down the hallway and leads the way to the same dark room we were in before. He turns on a flashlight so we can see better. 

 

I watch Simon plug in the footage while I hold the flashlight above where he is working. He starts typing in the computer when he curses loudly and slams the table.

 

“Simon are you okay?” I ask.

 

“Hey Sherwon, stop slamming your head or you’ll lose brain cells!” Magnus calls out when Simon starts hitting his head with his palm.

 

“Simon?” Raphael approaches him and looks at him intently, posing the question with his eyes.

 

“Aldertree put in some kind of firewall filled with advanced codes that I can’t break through...It’s too difficult. He’s smarter than me. I feel so hopeless..”

 

Raphael cups his cheeks. “Simon? Love? Look at me. He’s not smarter than you. You figured out everything. You figured out that Aldertree and possibly Meliorn stole the footage and even Camille has been trying to do that for weeks while you cracked the code in one day. If someone can defeat him then it’s you.”

 

I put a hand on his shoulder. “Simon you can never concentrate on anything. You always come up with stuff randomly so maybe the only way for you to crack the codes is for you to look at them but not really  _ think  _ about them. Think about something else when you’re trying to break through the firewall.”

 

Simon nods and kisses Raphael’s hand before he sits in front of the computer, his fingers hovering above the keyboard ready to type. He scans the codes with his eyes. “What am I supposed to think about?”

 

“Sex with Raphael!” Magnus suggests. My lips curl into a smile while Simon is blushing like crazy but still looking at the screen and Raphael just glares at Magnus.

 

Magnus puts his hands up in the air.“What! I’m sure it’s amaziiing! And intense! And deeeep! And very explicit! And-”

Raphael hits Magnus with a chair. “Shut up or I’ll make beating you up and poking you with a hundred needles very amaziing! And intense! And deeeep! And explicit!”

 

Me and Simon laugh before Simon exclaims: “Oh my god guys! I didn’t realise I was typing! I’m halfway through!”

 

Magnus crosses his arms. “See? I told you that thinking about sex with Raphael is an amazing distraction for Simon.” 

 

Raphael gives him a look of warning and Magnus winks at him.

 

I roll my eyes and I start to think of something that’ll distract Simon. “Simon? Yours and Raphael’s anniversary is coming up soon right? In two weeks? How long have you been together then? 2 years? 3? What are you planning on doing?”

 

Simon stares at the computer but he’s not really looking instead his eyes turn inwards but he starts typing. “Well..we turn 2 years. And you have your birthday at the same day as our anniversary so I talked to Raphael and I told him that we should celebrate together. I forgot to ask you and Magnus if you would like that idea. We would be spending New Years together as well. So..what do you two think about that?”

 

Magnus looks at me indicating that it doesn’t matter to him and that it’s up to me.

 

“Well..” I start. “It’s your anniversary and you should spend it just the two of you and do...whatever romantic things you do. You shouldn’t spend it with us. But I would like to of course.”

 

Simon shakes his head and smiles, still looking at the computer. “Shut up. We’re spending it all together, I’ve just decided that-..I CRACKED IT! OMG I’M BEAT HIM!” He jumps off the chair before he hurriedly sits down again. “Okay fuck. So..Thank you guys but now we actually have to watch the stupid video. So who’s up for it?”

 

My stomach twists and I take a step back. “Simon don’t-” But he has already pressed play and Aline appears on the screen, drinking her coffee. I can’t look away now, I have to see it. We all move closer to the screen when Camille appears.

 

“Can’t you fix it so we can hear them?” Magnus asks and Simon starts typing again.

 

“Hmm I’ll try zooming in, and connect the frequencies to the speaker and..” Simon starts blabbering and soon we can hear some noises that doesn’t make any sense. “Wait I’m just gonna adjust it…” Now we can hear Aline and Camille but we have to move even closer to the computer. 

 

“Are you planning on going to Harvard? It’s kind of useless don’t you think? You already have a job.” Camille says. We listen as Aline protests and Camille still tries to convince her. 

 

“Why are you even interested?” Aline asks.

 

“Because I also want to go Harvard law but sadly I came in as a ‘reserve’. Basically if someone drops out, I’ll take their place.” Camille answers. “But unfortunately, you’re not cooperating that well. “

 

Aline starts touching her throat and we look away as she starts choking. When we look back Camille is wiping Aline’s mouth while wearing a pair of gloves before she takes out a knife. Camille puts the knife against Aline’s wrists and we look away again.

 

“Okay that’s enough” I exclaim and Simon turns it off.

 

“What a sick bitch” Magnus exclaims and my stomach twists again. I feel like throwing up

 

“What are we supposed to do now?” Raphael asks.

 

Simon clears his throat and stands up. He walks towards the door and leans on it. His face is pale and he looks like he’s going to throw up. “I-I didn’t think that far ahead.” He whispers.

 

“The only thing you’re going to do with that video is hand it over to me.” We all turn around and we see Camille in the doorway, holding Simon against her while pointing a gun to his forehead. “Hand. It. Over.” She repeats. I freeze and just stare at the scene in front of me. No. What happened to Sebastian cannot happen to Simon as well. It’s all my fault again because I pulled Simon into this. If I had just kept my mouth shut..

 

Magnus slams his fist against the table. “How the fuck did you find us?!” 

 

“I put a tracker on dear Simon here. I knew he’d have to watch the video somehow and he can’t exactly do it at his house. I was waiting for him.”

 

Simon gritts his teeth. “News flash bitch, we didn’t have it. We stole from one of your minions. Not that smart are you?”

 

Camille goes quiet for a few seconds before she sighs in frustration. “I should’ve known. Well, whatever, I’ll deal with them later. Now hand it over.” She drills her eyes into Raphael and smirks. “You wouldn’t want your precious Simon to get hurt right?” She turns to me. “And you Alec? We don’t want a repeat of what happened at Raj’s party don’t we?” 

 

Raphael is paralysed. He’s looking into Simon eyes with so much pain and clenches his fists so tight that his knuckles are turning white. 

 

“Don’t do it.” Simon lets out a shaky breath before attempting a laugh. “And hey, look at the bright side, now you can accuse her of a third murder.”

 

“Shut up.” Raphael says.

 

I approach the computer and I take out everything. “Here. Hand Simon over and everything is yours. Just get out of our lives.”

 

“Alec no!” Simon exclaims.

 

Camille smirks. “Well thank you Alec.”

 

Raphael snatches everything from me and stands in front of her. “Simon first.”

 

“I knew you would be a good boy Raphael. But how will I know that you’ll hand it all over once you get Simon?” She asks. 

 

Magnus crosses his arms and stands next to Raphael and me. “Compared to you, we don’t have a monotonous past of being manipulative bitches and as far as I can tell, you’re the one with the gun here.”

 

Camille bites her lower lip and tilts her head to the side. “Point taken.” She rolls her eyes. “Fine..” She smirks again and shakes her head, sighing. “Too bad though. You’ve worked so hard so you could prove that I killed Aline and Sebastian. Which I did, but now, you’ll never be able find anything that you could use against me. Too bad.”

 

“Just don’t do it. I’m not worth it guys.” Simon begs but we all ignore her.

 

She slowly releases her hold on SImon and-

 

“FREEZE! POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!”

 

We all jump and the next thing we know a couple of police officers barge in and surround us, every single one of them pointing a gun at Camille. Her eyes go wide and Simon punches her stomach. Raphael quickly extends his arms and hugs Simon to his body. Camille looks around not knowing what to do, a look of surprise and disbelief clouding her face.

 

“PUT YOUR GUN DOWN AND YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!” 

 

We can see her visibly gulp and slowly putting her gun down. She puts her hands at shoulder level. “Kick the gun towards us with your foot, slowly.” A police officer orders.

 

She does it and an officer walks up behind her and cuffs her hands. “You’re under arrest for the murder of Aline Penhallow. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors.
> 
> When I was writing the police part, I cringed so much. I seriously didn't know what to writexDD  
> Hope you enjoyed itxD


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes in my writing. And here's a long chapter:)

When we walk out of the school, we’re met by two detectives who eye us up and down.

“What were you doing here? I think it’s past school hours don’t you think?” He asks. I give Magnus a panicked look and he’s about to answer the detective when a familiar voice does it instead: 

“Because I gave them permission to do so” 

We turn around and see Hodge approaching us.

The detective huffs. “You were the one that called us right? How come you gave them permission to enter the school alone and how did you know that Ms Belcourt was going to be there?”

Hodge clears his throat. “Well you see, they suspected that Aline’s suicide was not really a suicide and eventually they found what they believe is the stolen video. I could not contact the police because up until now these were just speculations. When they found the footage, they called me and said that they might have evidence and I told them to meet me in school so we could take a look at the footage. If this video turned out to actually be the stolen one, we were planning on going straight to the police. We didn’t want to give you anything without really making sure that it is legit.”

He clears his throat again. “I called them and said that I was going to be late because my wife had a situation. You know how women are…”He chuckles a bit before he continues. “However, when I arrived in front of the school, I saw another car and I recognised it immediately. It was Ms Belcourt’s car. I saw her exit her vehicle with a gun in her hand. That’s when I called the police”

I frown a bit. So Hodge was coming? Here? So...Hodge kind of lied to Simon when he said that he wasn’t coming...Well thank god he did. 

The officer hums and turns to us. “And how, did you four know that it wasn’t a suicide and how did you know where to find the stolen footage?” He asks. 

Shit. How can we tell them about that without telling them about the kidnapping? Well maybe we could tell him about the kidnapping…

But before I can open my mouth Magnus steps in. “We are not obligated to tell you anything.”

The detective raises an eyebrow. “This is a murder investiga-”

“And we are underage” Raphael interrupts. “Which means that we don’t have to say anything without a parent or an attorney.”

The detective looks at us smugly. “You’re right. So if you could please follow me down to the station….”

Our eyes widen and I take a step forward. “Me and my friend over here..”I point at Simon.”..got kidnapped by Camille and two guys named Aldertree and Meliorn. For some reason Camille doesn’t like us and she thought that we had stolen the video because Simon is a technical genius and we never really liked her either. She used Aldertree and Meliorn to get us to say where the footage was because Camille wanted it because it was the only thing that could prove that she murdered Aline. Problem was, we didn't have it and we didn’t know what she was talking about and she kept on saying ‘where is it? Give it to me’. Then we heard that Aline died and Simon here said that it could be Camille that murdered her and covered it up.”

Simon steps forward and continues and explains that Camille wanted to get into the university that Aline got into and that Camille was next in line so she had motive. “So I came up with the theory that Camille murdered Aline and of course Alec and the others didn’t believe me so I needed to find where the stolen video was. Camille doesn’t have it. We don’t have it either.Then I thought of Aldertree and Meliorn. Camille is dangerous and a bitch and frankly, I wouldn’t want to work with her without having anything I could use her. I know that Aldertree is also a technical genius because we met during programming before he went the wrong way and started doing drugs. We paid Aldertree’s house a visit and we found something that looked like a footage and we didn’t go to you because….come on what if it’s porn or something? We wanted to make sure. So I called Hodge and told him that I finally got proof. We watched the video and that’s when Camille came. You know the rest. And we know that she’s capable of killing”

The detective records what we’re saying and asks: “And how do you know that Camille is capable of killing and how did she know that you were here?”

I lick my lips. “She tracked us.. She thought we had the video and obviously, to be able to see the video we had to use the school computer. So she probably put a tracker on us or in our car and waited until we came here.”

The detective frowns. “She killed Aline just so that she could get into a university? Why? And a tracker? She’s a highschool student. And how did you know she’s capable of murder?”

Magnus puts an arm around me. “Because she’s not mentally sane. That she became next in line for a university that Aline got into was reason enough for her to kill a person. And yes we know she’s capable of murder and that she can put a tracker because she tried to kill Simon and Alexander before. She hacked into Simon’s car when both he and Alexander were in it and they almost died. They drove over a girl, Lydia. She just got out of the hospital. You might have already heard about this accident. If she could hack into a car then she can create a tracker. And if she was prepared to kill Alexander and Simon in a car accident then she is very much capable of killing Aline for the sake of university.”

“She kidnapped you and almost killed you? Why the hell did you not say anything?” Another detective asks.

I look down. Because of what Camille has. The video where Sebastian was murdered. 

“Because we were scared.” I look at Raphael surprised. Raphael shrugs. “We’re teenagers. We were scared that if we told someone, she would do something to us. Or to our families.”

The detective sighs and facepalms. “Thank you, you can go home now.” We slowly start to leave when he starts talking again. “Wait. She said something about a second murder. Aline and….Sebastian? What was that about”

We all stop and turn around slowly. I can feel my heart thundering against my chest and I swallow hard.

“And why does Ms. Belcourt carry a deep dislike towards you?”

“Because...She was together with my brother.” I say quietly. “She was crazy about him and she hates me because I tried to separate them. For obvious reasons I knew that she was a bad person and then I caught her cheating on him. She hated me for trying to break them apart and once they did break up, she held this grudge against me and did everything to make my life worse. I had a best friend though. His name was Sebastian. Sebastian Verlac. You’ve probably heard of him? The teenager who is presumed to have committed suicide and the police never found his body?.”

The two detectives huff. “So let me get this straight. You have a connection to both Camille and Sebastian? And do you think that she killed him? When was the last time you saw him?”

 

“I’ve already given my statement to the police. It was at a party. But...what I didn’t say was that Camille drugged me. She approached me and she said that she drugged me. Then...everything went blank. “ It’s not really a lie. I am so relieved that I finally told someone that can do something about it but I know that a lot of things will have to be cleared up.

“Drugged? And what about your friend?” He sighs. “Let me rephrase myself. Was it a suicide or not and did you witness it and do you know anything that has to do with it? And are you withholding information?”

I take a deep breath. “I remember when she pushed him off the ledge and then everything went blank. When I woke up, I couldn’t find him anywhere. I didn’t know what was going on. Then I heard that someone had found a suicide note on his bed. “He explains. “That’s it. Party, she drugged me, she pushed him, everything went blank and when I woke up they were both nowhere to be found. I didn’t say anything about the drug thing and that I saw her push him because...I was drugged so you’d rule out that statement”

Simon clears his throat. “But she...confessed to killing Sebastian..so..isn’t she guilty? We know she drugged Alec and that’s she clearly is capable of murder. So..she killed Sebastian right?” He urges. 

“And why the hell didn’t you tell us before??” He asks again. “And why would she kill…”They both sigh and one detective rubs his forehead. “We..We’re gonna talk to the detectives that were previously on that specific case. You might have to come in for another statement but I think this will do since we recorded you. Do you have anything else to tell us?”

We all shake our heads but before they leave, I call out to them. “Detectives!” They stop and look back at me. “I….Find him? Sebastian? Now that it turned out not to be a suicide and his body is missing so….please?” I say desperately.

One of the detectives puts a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll do our best. Go get some sleep, it’s been a long night. “

I nod and Hodge puts an arm around me. “Lets go kids.”

We turn around and I feel Magnus’s hand on mine. “Maybe you should stay over at my place tonight? Or Simon’s? Whatever you feel comfortable with.” Magnus whispers.

“Yeah, I don’t feel like being alone but my mum won’t let me sleep over I think. And I don’t think she would like that my boyfriend is staying over. Alone”

Magnus nods and ruffles my hair. “Simon?” Simon looks up raising his brow. “Would you like to stay over at Alec’s place today?”

“S-Sure!” He answers but Raphael grabs his arm. 

“I’m not letting you out of my sight Simon.” Raphael states firmly.

“Rapha…”Simon sighs.

“You can all stay over at my house. You’re all welcome.”I interrupt.

Magnus claps his hands. “Alright then! Lets go!”

We approach Hodge whose car is parked next to ours. “Hodge? Thank you so much” I say.

Hodge opens his car and sits down. “You kids are caught up in a huge mess. Tell me if you need my help, I believe in you. Just don’t do anything stupid. Stay out of most things. And remember, you’re fucking high school kids! Stop trying to solve cases. Leave it to the adults otherwise you’re in for some deep shit.” He closes the door and drives away.

“He’s right. We can't just get involved in everything. We have to keep a low profile for the time being before we become suspects ourselves.” Raphael mutters and we all nod before we get into Simon’s car.

“I’m so fucking happy it’s over. Everything’s over. Kind of. But Aline..Maybe she can finally gets some peace.”Simon exclaims. No one answers and instead we head to my place. 

When we enter my house, my mother is standing in the kitchen with a look of forced patience. 

“Alec. We need to talk.” She says and we go into the living room. “I got a call from the police. What were you thinking? Breaking in?”

I bite my lip and avert my eyes. “I’m sorry mother. But I had to, and now we know that an innocent girl was murdered. And they know that Camille killed Sebastian. I’m very sorry but I really felt like I had to” I repeat.

My mother sighs and crosses her arms. “Alec, you have to understand that you’re only 16. You can’t do stuff like this. You have to leave it to the adults because you’re just a kid!” She exclaims before hugging me. “But I’m happy you’re alright.”

“Me too mum. And I really am sorry”

Maryse pulls back a little and cups my cheeks. “Listen, I have something to tell you and I’ve already told Jace and Isabelle. Your father...he’s going to jail. Or he doesn’t..but his final trial is tomorrow. It has gone weeks, ever since the hospital. I pressed charges against him and I’ve been going to his trial for a couple of weeks now”

“Mum, why didn’t you tell me??” I exclaim.

Mum sighs and now it’s her turn to averts her eyes. “Alec, honey, you just got out of the hospital and you shouldn’t witness your own father’s trial. You had other things on your mind. Alec I just want you to be a teenager, go out with your friends, make out with your boyfriend, but not in front of me of course. Stuff like that. You’ve been through so much and you looked happy ever since you got out of the hospital. I didn't want to destroy that, however, tomorrow your father is going to get his sentence and I want to ask you, Jace and Izzy if you’d like to come because I don’t have the rights to keep you away from this one.” 

I bite my lower lip and shake my head. To be honest, I don’t want anything to do with Robert. And I don’t think I want to see him anymore. 

“Mum? Do you want me to be there? I can be there for you, I’m not going to let you go through it all alone.” I say.

Maryse shakes her head. “It’d be better for me if you weren’t there Alec. I don’t want you to hear..it’ll throw me off focus and I won’t be able to….I’m sorry. But I need to convinct your dad and I won’t feel good doing that if you or your siblings are there.”she says.

I regard her but I don’t say anything. “Fine. But if you need me, tell me”

She smiles at me and nods. 

After a few minutes, I go back to the others.

“Can we fucking go to sleep now? It’s like...really. fucking. late.” Simon yawns.

“Says the boy who stays up till four in the morning gaming or watching Star Wars.” Raphael retorts and Simon crosses his arms. 

I roll my eyes. “This way” I get some sleeping bags and mattresses before guiding them to my room. “How do you wanna sleep?”

“I’m sleeping next to Raphaaaa” Simon decides and jumps into his sleeping bag.

“Then I’ll be sleeping next to you Radiator. I promise I’ll try to keep my hands off of you” Magnus whispers into my ear and I blush despite of myself. 

“Lets go to sleep!” I announce quickly. “Magnus, Raphael, you’ll borrow clothes from Jace. Simon, you’ll take from me since you’re kind of my size. Nothing star wars related though.” I add.

I sneak into Jace’s dark room but unfortunately, my brother is awake. I jump as I feel him grab my hand in the dark. I reflexively twist his hand and throw him across the room.

“Alec!” He shouts.

“Jace! Don’t scare me like that you idiot!” I say and turn the light on.

“Excuse me? You’re the one sneaking into MY room in the middle of the fucking night” Jace says sassily.

I sigh and rub my temple. “I need clothes for Magnus and Raphael. Yes they’re here. Simon too.” I explain quickly.

Jace frowns before he opens his drawer and hands me some clothes. 

“Thanks” I say and I’m about to exit the room when he grabs my arm again. 

“Alec. I heard mum talking. Camille got arrested? For what?” he asks. “Can you please start explaining what happened?”he says and he looks at me with big eyes. 

I take a step back and rub my own eyes. “Jace...I’m just gonna say it. Camille wanted to seduce you and I was trying to keep her away from you. At the party, you were drunk and she bound you to the bed and she was planning on raping you but I stopped it. She got annoyed as fuck so she drugged me to get me out of the way. I met Sebastian at the balcony and then she came and started messing around. The drug was kicking in and I couldn’t see anything. She attacked Sebastian and I pushed her away and then I pushed again but this time it wasn’t her I pushed. It was Sebastian. Pushed him over the ledge. I caught his hand, I held onto him but I was starting to faint because of the drug. I looked back trying to find Camille and ask her to help but she was gone. I fainted. When I woke up, I found him dead and I was gonna call the police or ambulance or whatever. Camille cornered me, she had stolen the footage from the balcony and she messed around with the entire thing and made it look like I pushed him and then just walked away.”

“She threatened me and said that if I said something to the police about her then this would get out and it would destroy our family. I was so scared and I blamed myself but now I know it wasn’t my fault. Then you guys came and I was in shock and didn’t know what to do or say. Then dad somehow removed the body and paid Raj’s family to shut up about everything that happened in their house that night. I couldn’t say anything after that because I would be guilty if she showed them the footage and you would too, and so would Izzy and mum and Raj’s entire family because we all knew about it and didn’t say shit. It’s called aiding and abetting OR obstruction of justice. I didn’t wanna put that on you so I kept my mouth shut.” I pause and look down.

“Jace you know that she goes to my school. She threatened me more than once. Had me beat up. Then she kidnapped me and Simon and asked if we had ‘a footage’. Next day, Aline died and we heard that the footage that showed her death, was stolen. We put two and two together: Camille killed Aline to get into Harvard. Aldertree stole the video tape so he could have something on Camille in case she stabbed him in the back. We stole it from Aldertree and went to school to see if it really is the stolen footage. Camille showed up, pointed a gun at our heads. Hodge was secretly there and he called the police who showed up and arrested her. End story. “ I finish.

“Or wait. My car accident? Camille hijacked it and made it crash. Now the story ends. Fuck footages really. And also fuck this! I’m 16! I should be enjoying life! I should be at a party right now even though I HATE parties but anything anything ANYTHING but this! Instead of doing literally anything a normal high school kid does, my best friend dies, my parents and my siblings hate me! Another girl gets killed! I almost get killed! I get kidnapped! And now I’m in waaay over my head trying to solve murder cases and I shouldn’t even be doing that, it’s not MY job! How old am I?? I am a teenager, what the hell am I doing solving murder cases left and right?? I just...I just do it all because I feel like I owe him! I owe him. I owe my best friend to capture his killer. Sebastian always protected me. Always did everything for me. He’s dead and I never got the chance to do something for him. I need to...I need to get Camille. I need to…”I stutter, tears falling down my cheeks. “Just...goodnight Jace”I say and run back. It still felt good. To get it all out. But fucking hell. I run my breath caught in my throat.

I wipe the tears away before entering my room and I give them the clothes.

“Radiatoooor! I can’t wait to huuug you all night long!”Magnus exclaims and I give him a slow smile but then someone grabs my wrist. I turn around and see Jace.

“He’s sleeping with me tonight.” Jace says and takes me with him to his room.

“Jace what the fuck-..”I start when he closes his door but he interrupts me with a tight hug.

“Alec...I am so so so so sorry…”Jace stutters. Is he crying? “I...I don’t know what to say….You know I suck at this...I...I never hated you. I wanted to but I couldn’t. I shouldn’t have...I should have been a better brother. Should have sat down and talked to you. You’ve been so good to me...protected me from her.. and I…..”Jace stutters.

I’ve never seen him like this before. And for the first time, I realise how much I missed his hugs. My brother. I carefully wrap my arms around him.

“Jace Lightwood...crying? And apologising? And stuttering? Woah.”I joke a bit.

Jace chuckles and squeezes me more. “Shut up” he whispers.

The door opens and Izzy enters before a wave of apologies comes out of her mouth. 

“I told her too”Jace says and I take a deep breath when they both hug me at the same time. I missed them so fucking much it’s unbelievable. My siblings . Yeah they fucked up but so did I. “I’m sorry I should have trusted you more” I whisper and they both shake their heads. 

“Shut up. We’re the ones at fault. The drink..that one was on me”Izzy says.

I close my eyes before hugging them both back. “It’s okay. You two idiots are forgiven. Just...never do it again. I need you.” I whisper.

“Awwwwww”Izzy coos before giving me a kiss on the cheek and I momentarily glare at her. Then they push me onto the bed and hug me.

“Guys...Can’t breathe”I choke out.

“Does it look like we care?”Jace asks and I punch his stomach. There’s a knock on the door and Maryse walks in smiling. 

“Hey...mind if I join?”she asks.

Izzy grins and opens up her arms. “There’s always room for one more!”she exclaims and Maryse smiles softly.

Then they start showering me with kisses and I just lie there glaring at them all but secretly, right now with my family, I couldn’t be happier.

“I love you guys. I know lots of things happened but no matter what, I still love you”I whisper. 

Jace squeezes me a bit more before smirking. “Of course you do. Everyone loves me”Jace exclaims dramatically and Izzy hits him. “I had to!!” Jace squeals and we all start laughing.

“Fucking douchebag”I chuckle.

“Aleeeec don’t say that about me”Jace fakes a sniffle and I roll my eyes. And we stay like that. Insulting each other. Swearing at each other. Jace even starts telling a scary story in an attempt to scare us but we all just end up falling asleep. But it doesn’t matter because for the first time, I feel like I’m home. I’m home with my family.

Also…..  
Poor Magnus

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up next morning with three people on top of me. I groan and push them all off of me. Jace starts whining. I rub my head before getting up quickly. Jesus fucking christ, I never meant to fall asleep! 

I run to my room but there’s no sign of Magnus, Raphael or Simon. I hear some sounds coming from the kitchen and I head there only to see the squad sitting in the dining room eating.

They all look up at me at the same time.”Good morning”they say at the same time. 

I take a deep breath. “I am so sorry! I shouldn’t have ditched you, they wanted to talk to me and apologise and then we kinda laid down onto the bed and then I accidentally fell asleep without meaning to. “I apologize.

Simon huffs.”See that Magnus and Rapha? Alec ditched us last night. Fucking disrespectful. What a bitch.”Simon shakes his head disappointed and my heart sinks to the floor.

Then Simon gets up and hugs me. “I’m kidding you idiot!!! Good morning my pandaaa”

I almost punch him but I pat his shoulder instead, smiling. Magnus walks over to me and gives me a slow kiss before giving me an eskimo kiss, looking deep into my eyes making my heart skip a beat. “How did it go? Everything well? I hope you ditching my perfect arms weren’t for nothing”he jokes a bit in the end. 

I bite my lip and give him another kiss. “Everything went well. Everything is out. I told them everything. We worked it out. I got my family back.”

Magnus grins before lifting me up and twirling me around the dining room.

“Easy with my son”Maryse Lightwood appears and they all start greeting her.

Magnus goes down on one knee before taking Maryse’s hand. Then he kisses the back of her hand in a dramatic way and I snort.

Maryse smiles slowly and looks at me. “A gentleman I see, I see. You have my approval on this one.”she smiles.”Please continue your breakfast.”

Then Jace and Izzy come running down.  
“I’m taking the last pudding!”Izzy shouts but Jace beats her to the fridge before taking the pudding and then he immediately licks it. “You jerk”she hits his head and he starts whimpering.

“Aleeeec she hit me”Jace whines and I roll my eyes.

“Deal with it”I just say before I feel someone’s eyes on me and I look up only to see Magnus staring. “What?”I start blushing.

Magnus just smiles. “Nothing. It’s just nice seeing you behave like siblings again”he says and I smile too. Yeah it is

Jace and Izzy walk up to Magnus. “Hurt him and we’ll hurt you. I don’t think we need to add something else”Izzy says and Jace hums.

Magnus rolls his eyes super dramatically. “Yeah yeah yeah...But honestly? Same goes for you two. Hurt him? Again. Then I’ll hurt you. I don’t think I need to add something else”Magnus smirks and I purse my lips smiling.

“Okaaaaaay lets all sit and eat? Maybe? Please? Pretty please?”Simon says and flutters his eyelashes. We all carefully sit down but Jace is still glaring at Magnus while Izzy is looking at my boyfriend with adoration.

We eat breakfast in awkward silence until Izzy breaks it. “So...hate to break the peace but Camille...what’s left of her? Or like..what’s left for you to discover or whatever?”she asks.

I shift in my seat. “Sebastian’s body. Dad took it right? He called in some guys and they took his body. Mum do you know where it is?”I ask.

Maryse almost glares at me. “If I knew, don’t you think I would’ve told you? I don’t know..”she pauses. “.Actually, one of Robert’s guys owes me a favour. “She murmurs before looking me in the eye.”Alec, I promise I will find the body. It’s the least I could do for you”

I sigh and look at my mother lovingly before placing my hand above hers. “Mum...You don’t need to. We can all do it together.”

But she just shakes her head “No! You are 16 and all this time you've been doing all these stuff as if you’re an adult or some kind of detective. Alec you’re not. And Magnus isn’t either and same goes for Simon and Raphael and Jace and Izzy. Enough. This isn’t your job. Let me take care of this one. You just focus on going to school and getting the best grades and being happy”Maryse exclaims and I bite my lower lip because I agree with her. It’s not my job. 

“Okay. But as soon as you learn something, please tell me”I respond and Maryse nods.

“Soooooooooooooooooooo breakfast is amazing rightttttt?”Simon exclaims wanting to change subject and Raphael rolls his eyes. “Okay but like..lets get to school”he adds.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
One hour later we’re all sitting in Hodge’s class

“Psst Alec? So you know your birthday is the same day as me and Raphael’s anniversary? So I was thinking maybe we could celebrate it together? That’s a good idea right?”Simon squeals.

I consider it hesitantly. “But Simon...It’s your anniversary...You should celebrate that together with Raphael. And my siblings will probably want to celebrate my birthday and so will Lydia and Clary. And then we have Ragnor, Catarina, Tessa, Will and Jem”

“So? It’ll be us friends! Plus your siblings. And um...Rapha and me...we’ll celebrate it properly during the night..if you know what I mean”he blushes and I stifle a laugh.

“Okay. But only us friends. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”I say and Simon salutes. 

“Never!”he exclaims.

“ LEWIS! AGAIN?”Hodge shouts and we both jump. “What were you trying to tell Alec huh? ”he asks.

Me and Simon look at each other. Why the fuck did he only blame Simon? I was also talking! 

“You know what? Don’t answer that. YOU JUST GOT DETENTION LEWIS!” Hodge shouts and Simon turns pale.

Then out of nowhere, a paper plane flies across the classroom and lands on Hodge’s head. Hodge flinches and picks up the paper plane red faced. “WHO. THREW. THAT?!” Hodge screams.

In the back, Raphael gets up. “I did. Do I get detention now?”he asks and I can see Simon smiling softly.

“YES”Hodge says and Raphael just shrugs. Now Simon is full on smiling lovingly.

“Rapha is the most lovable boyfriend eveeeer.”Simon squeals and I snort wanting to tease him.

“No. Magnus is”I say.

“Raphael got detention for me”Simon insists.

“And? Must suck to get detention”I tease.

“Fuck off” Simon retorts before the bell rings.

“With pleasure.”I wink and get out of the classroom teasingly where I meet Magnus outside who greets me with a kiss. “Hi sparkly.”I greet smiling

“Mmm’hi Radiator.”he greets back before we hear a whimpering sound and we look back and see Raphael hitting Simon in the head. 

“Raphaaa”Simon whimpers and looks up with his puppy eyes. Raphael sighs before giving the boy a kiss. “Yum” Simon hums after the kiss and I can hear Magnus snapping a picture.

“Every single photograph I’ve ever taken of those two is coming out on their anniversary” Magnus chuckles and I clear my throat.

“About that...Simon told me that...Or he suggested that we could do my birthday and celebrate their anniversary..at the same time? And invite our other friends. I asked if it really was a good idea to do the anniversary at the same time as my brithday since maybe Saphael want to spend some time together but Simon told me it’s cool. Sooo umm..Would you want to?”I ask and Magnus grips my hand smiling.

“I’d love to. Of course I want to. And then we’re going to go somewhere special. After the party of course.” Magnus says flirtatiously. I frown and I’m about to say something when Saphael show up and we all walk to the detention room . 

“I’ll see you guys after detentiooooon! Right Rapha?”Simon flutters his eyelashes towards Raphael.

“Whatever”Raphael just says and pushes Simon inside.

Then Lydia and Izzy show up before Clary and Jace also show up. I blink before Lydia and Clary both give me a hug. 

“Heyy Panda! So yeah..a teacher caught me and Izzy making out in the hallway…”Lyda confesses. “I’m this year’s president! I can’t get detention..”

“And Jace here tried to sneak me into the nurse’s office to do what he likes to call ‘hot nurse make out session’” Clary glares at Jace.

Both Izzy and Jace huff, crossing their arms. “You both liked it!”they say at the same time.

I roll my eyes and push them inside. “Go in. And goodbye” I sigh before turning to Magnus. “Where are you taking me after my birthday party?”I ask not wanting to wait.

Magnus rolls his eyes dramatically. “My dear dear dear Alexander. Did I not mention that it is a SURPRISE?”

“And?”Alec urges.

“Surprise. S.U.R.P.R.I.S.E. AKA you do something for a person without the person knowing what you did. Surprise. Which means I will not tell you where we are going.”Magnus clarifies impatiently. “And stooop askiiing! I will lose myself and give in to you”he whines and I smirk. I’m about to ask more questions when he places his hands over his ears. “Lalalalalalalaaaaa”he starts and I stick my tongue out. 

We go to the cafeteria and spend some quality time together. We sit in the corner so no one will see or hear us and of course Magnus wants to spend the time flirting and spoiling me with his touches.  
After three hours of talking we get up to meet Saphael again. 

“Alec you won’t believe it! Hodge did the detention thing on purpose and he didn’t wanna take you in as well because people would get suspicious or something. I don’t know his logic…”Simon rants.

“Get to the point idiota”Raphael urges.

“Right. Yeah. So Hodge told me that they’re transfering Camille to a mental hospital so she can get treated because apparently she’s mentally ill, no surprise there. But out of anger, she confessed. Aline,our kidnapping, the car crash, the beatings you got, the attempted rape on Jace and even Sebastian! They’ve been trying to figure out where Sebastian’s body is though and apparently she said that she has no idea where the body is. They found medication and drugs inside her house and the doctor said that it’s normal to become fuzzy in the head and forget a lot of stuff and if she’s taking all those meds. The doctor also said that she might have been high or drunk when the Sebastian thing happened so maybe she doesn’t remember because of that. They also arrested Aldertree and Meliorn but they’re under 18 so no prison. They’re going to rehab to get over the whole drug thing and then they’re getting community service and their parents have to pay a fine too. Money is gonna go to you, Aline’s family and Sebastian’s relatives” Simon babbles before exhaling.

I take a step back and I can’t help but start laughing. I laugh my ass off. Magnus frowns a bit before he starts smiling. “Okay I’m so sorry guys it’s just that I’ve been through so much because of her and I’ve lost so goddamn much because of her and now...she’s going to a mental hospital and away from me! Like omg she’s going!”I exclaim. Fuck! Everything is going to be fucking fine! It’s finally happening! Some sort of happy ending and I didn’t know that was possible.

“I think...I think what you really want to say Panda is: BITCH WENT DOOOWN AND TEAM DETECTIVE RAPHAEL, SIMON, MAGNUS AND ALEC WINS!!!”Simon cheers and I actually start laughing together with both Magnus and Simon. Raphael just looks at Simon with love in his eyes.

“Now, we just have to give your best friend a proper grave and a proper mourning.”Magnus says and I smile sadly before nodding

As if on cue, my phone starts ringing. It’s mum. I pick up immediately. “Alec look at the news. I kept my promise.”she says.

I blink a couple of times before looking at the others. “Mum wants me to look at the news. Do you have a live broadcast on your phones?” I ask and Magnus pulls out his phone. After a few seconds, we all look at the latest live broadcast. A reporter is speaking and she’s standing in the middle of a forest with a river where a body that’s covered is being carried behind her.

“Sebastian Verlac, teenage boy who was presumed to have committed suicide has now been found. Last year, a note was left for his family where he said his final goodbyes but the body was never found. Now, months later, another teenager has been arrested for the murder and forgery of Sebastian Verlac. One hour ago, a jogger slipped while running and fell into the river. While crawling up, he discovered the body…”The reporter said and I stop listening. It feels like my entire world is spinning.

“Alec honey?”I hear Maryse call on me.

“Yeah mum”I answer

“The jogger was the guy who owed me a favour. He worked for Robert and he found out where the body was. It was hidden in a place no one goes to. I told him to pretend to jog, and stumble upon the body...”Mum says and I cup my head. It’s too much. Camille and now Sebastian’s body was found? It’s like..everything is so rushed! And so sudden! And at the same time! It’s unbelievable! Unreal!

“Are you okay my Alexander?”Magnus asks and I run to the bathroom.

I push one door open and I lock it before I immediately crouch down in front of the toilet chair. Not even a second later, I start throwing up like crazy. I vaguely hear someone knocking onto the door but I don’t register it until I’m done emptying my stomach.

“Alexander? Buttercup please open the door for me”I hear Magnus say softly. 

“Just give me a second!” I quickly flush the toilet before I start washing both my face and my mouth. Ew. I open the door and Magnus hugs me immediately.

“Are you okay? Are you feeling well? Do you want me to take you to a hospital or a pharmacy..?” Magnus asks while kissing my face and I shake my head.

“Nonono Magnus I’m alright. It’s just that everything came...at the same time. Camille and Sebastian it’s so unreal. And so quick and rushed.” I say.

“Yeah I agree.”I hear Simon say. “We should’ve told Maryse sooner. We went way over our heads thinking we could do this by ourselves when we’re only teenagers. We know nothing. We should’ve trusted the adults. I mean look, Camille is gone and convicted and Sebastian is found. We should've spoken up from the very beginning”Simon continues.

Magnus raises his brow.”Wowww what happened to detective Simon? The one who wanted to go on adventures and solve murders?”he chuckles.

Simon bites his lip before he looks up at Raphael lovingly. “He learned. Detective Simon learned that he can’t do everything by himself especially when he’s only 16 years old.”he says and Raphael actually smiles before giving Simon both a hug and a kiss and then he twirls Simon around. Me and Magnus smile since it’s rare to see Raphael so loving in public.

I wash my mouth again still feeling a bit sick before Magnus hugs me tightly. “What now my radiator?”he asks.

“I just I wanna give him a proper funeral and say goodbye. I finally avenged him. I finally put his murderer in jail. And now he can finally rest in peace once I give him the burial he deserves.” I answer without stuttering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm so sorry for taking so long! The chapter was ready and I had written a lot but then I couldn't find it anywhere on my computer and I didn't have enough motivation to write it all again. Also, school work was piling up like crazy and I also had some technical issues..Everything was a mess. So I'm very sorry. 
> 
> I'm slowly wrapping this story up and I do have one question for you: do you want a Malec and Saphael wedding?
> 
> Again, sorry. Have a nice day:)


End file.
